So a little bit of back story here, this was a note i wrote to an acquaintance who is a very strong feminist (despite her rubbish views she is still not a bad person as such so i still regard her in friendly terms) after a Facebook argument about someone posting why feminism is a bad word. So in it, i begin to get into why patriarchy that women go on about is bullshit. Keep in mind as you read i have moderated the argument and thought process given i was writing it to a self-described feminist. Any feedback is appreciated:

you have ignored my comment here, and social convention would suggest now that i dont response again for a while. I simply want to acknowledge that i respect your opinion and you are right to recognise several serious issues that modern women face today, such as income disparity between men and women, and that whilst there is an element of truth to the patriarchy of an alpha male boys club that is present at the top rungs of society, it is a massive oversimplification and the female narrative of the female victim and the male who can do as they please is a narrative that people can use to ease the cognitive burden on their minds and use simply stereotyping rather than understand the true complexity of the issue, where every person in their lives deal with suffering and at one time or other we all face problems, male female or any other way people choose to define their gender identity.

One of the problems with the feminist/masculine debate is that women internalise the idea that feminism tells them they are a victim to the system, that the system is fundamentally geared against them and this is a problem. Its a problem because it allows women to externalise the responsibility of their own lives and blame others. What we need to encourage rather than this narrative of blaming others is a narrative of empowerment. We live in challenge times where the world is undergoing what i perceive to be radical changes, the economy is rapidly changing, people need to take accountability for their own lives. We all face challenges in our own careers, personal lives, and all other facets of reality we face, women need to recognise as much as there may or may not be a patriarchy that is keeping women down, that today in the western world, and particular in australia where we were so fortunate to by and large avoid the 2008 GFC and our economy is in relative terms in good condition, we need to recognise the good fortunate of our circumstances. The path to integrity and happiness in life i believe lives in recognising that we are navigating our own ship, and if we blame others for the choices we make it is fundamentally that is avoiding responsibility for accepting that we cannot blame others for our choice, for example our choice of who we choose as friends and relationship partners, of which we should all choose wisely.

Women these days need to accept responsibility for their choices and recognise that as much as they want to complain about the patriarchy they still have the ability to choose their own destiny. For example it has never been easier to start your own business than it is today, There are a number of great books one can read that outline how, for example the best selling and seminal 4-hour work week and another great one, and another great one "The $100 Startup: Reinvent the Way You Make a Living, Do What You Love, and Create a New Future" And whilst it is a high risk proposition, to start a business it is also easier than ever before, with gorilla marketing campaigns and social media and networking being so cheap to leverage if you are able to cleverly orchestrate a good campaign and the brand has a compelling genisis story and a good product/service/idea behind it.

Finally lets address the corporate world, where there is certainly more men succeeded in industries like finance and the top hierarchy in lots of big companies is often overwhelmingly male, now whilst its good to recognise that there is something masculine in culture about this world, it is also important to recognise that to a degree women are still in control of their lives and they cannot externalise all the blame onto their male bosses and the patriarchy, in this day and age we all face the challenges of navigating our own career in a difficult and ever changing and increasingly competitive market place. Whilst there is a time and a place to complain, we fundamentally need to recognise that we should focus on what we can control in our own lives. If women are in a company that has a male orientated culture where its easier for men to rise to the top, perhaps they also need to recognise that there are a multide of career options out there both within and outside the corporate world, and that whilst some companies may have a masculine culture where men can succeed, not all work places are like that. Women far to internalise the victimhood of the feminist narrative which allows them to externlise the blame of their own choices and lives and subjective reality onto the choices of others, and its a simplistic view and also a path to unhappiness because it does not enourage personal accountability. It is an element of first world problems, where we all need to practice gratitude and recognise the fortunate of our circumstances rather than whinge about mild complaints, maybe everybody needs a trip to the 3rd world to where people are living in poverty with disease and famine to recognise how great we all really do have it here in Australia.

Let me address the corporate world, i recently finished a commerce degree and i think i have a reasonable understanding of how the corpaote world works. I could easily get a corporate job as i had a distinction average, in fact in my 3 years of this commerce degree i got 9 HDs and only 1 credit and 1 P if you will allow me a humble brag, i stopped applying for corporate job when i realised the very process of applying for corpate jobs was making me depressed. The path into the corpate world is one full of narcissistic individuals who are focused on career validation, material wealth and comparing themselves with others as their means of happiness. Atleast thats partly the way i see it, people need to focus on self-acctualistion if they are going to achieve lasting happinesses (at least that is my perspective) so i have turned my back on the corporate rat race for the time being. I recently went through a significant crisis in my life, and i found The Red Pill community on reddit and the wider manosphere and recognise that there is an element of truth in what they are saying, it is also sad that they are focusing on blaming others (women and society at large) for their circumstances instead of accepting responsibility for their own choices and circumstances, that doesn't mean they dont have a few points to make and every time women go on about the patriarchy and that women are victims and that men are the empowered it is bad for men the men who are not powerful, because there is also a struggle for resources going on within the male gender, where men are in competition with one another - you could think of it in terms of alpha beta but that again is a massive oversimplification, but think of it like this, success, breeds success, for a few reasons, successful people congregate together and unsuccessful people congregate together, people naturally accumulate friends of a similar disposition as themselves, so the idea of the patriarchy helping me is a big over simplification because there is also the reality where in fact the powerful are helping the powerful so when the male without power is constantly told there is a male patriarchy and he is privilege by being male it is a simplification because it doenst account for the reality that powerful people help other powerful people and that human beings all come from a position of self interest. The unsuccessful male, then may internalise this feminist narrative of the patriarchy and it can start and internal dialogue of self hate where the thinking is something along the lines, of yes men have it easier than women, why am i not successful, yes i am such a failure and they get depressed. Its really a case of some serious negative self talk, that if they strongly internalise the narrative and they value themselves from a position of self-esteem that enourages us to be happy for our achievements and being unique snow flakes, that what i pereice to be the toxic culture of excessive focus on self-esteem at the expensive of self-compassion which means we all make mistakes and we all need to be happy with our lot in life, rather than constantly comparing ourselves with others and getting involved in a he said she said blame game

I want to acknowledge that yes i strongly identify with The Red Pill, and i went through a period of intense unhappiness and significant msyogny, There is a toxic element in places like the red pill, where are lot of damage men are gathering and their hatred of women is growing and growing, it would seem that the rise of antifeminism is happening really fast, and if we are not able to recognise what is happening, there are going to be a number of disenfranchised men would will potentially cause serious damage to themselves, women and society i have overcome the mysogony of the red pill but realising that you need to accept personal responsibility for your own life rather than blame others. and that is the blame that of men and women and patriarchy that isn't really helping

let me mention margart thatcher who regardless of what we may or may not thinking of her policy should be recognised for her remarkable achievements and strength of character she was Britain first female prime minister in 1979, and we can argue till the cows come home about the extent of the discrimination she may or may not have faced based on her gender in the male dominated world of politics, what is true is she didn't internalise the limiting beliefs that a lot of women have today that i think the feminist narrative encourages, it is limiting beliefs that women cannot do great things and achieve many things in todays world that often hold women back. Whatever the case may be, thatcher got shit done, and she went on to become the longest serving British prime minister of the 20th century, and guided Britain through some amazing and challenging times, for example the later half of the Cold War and significant free market reforms that played a part in shaping their economy of today

Whatever the case, thatcher didn't hang around playing a blame game of others she accepted that we can only worry about what we can each individually control in our own lives and, Thinking about it right, i like to think we have come a long way since 1979 when she first became prime minister, and it interesting thinking about her achievements compared to Julia Gillard who was another strong women we should all admire (again regardless of what you think of her policies, simply her strength of character and ability to succeed in the male dominated world of politics). Finally lets get the point of what this message is all about, i respect your opinion and recognise that we are coming from very different perspectives, and your opinion is totally valid in this feminist debate thread we engaged in on Dominics Wall.

I am actually writing a book, the currently working title is something like "wealth inequality, global warming (and greater environmental degradation) and the arising gender battle - 3 challenges of our time and how they are all interconnected' Now I'm not writing this book because i think i am a genisus, i dont (at least i hope not) suffer from delusions of grandeur where i think i actually have things worked out, i am not a unique snow flake, I'm just a confused 27 year old trying to find my way in this complex world we live in, and I'm writing a book, simply because its something i always wanted to do, of course i would love for it to actually sell, but at the same time, i want to recognise that its not the end outcome that matters, the process itself needs to be enjoyable, so if its a good book and it sells that good, if it doesn't and i made a book anyway that is great also, i approach it with an attitude of high hopes but low expectations, i recognise that anything i create is a result of my subjective experience and that naturally there is going to be significant bias that i need to try my best to overcome, so through our loose friendship you always seemed like a person of integrity and tell you are passionate about the gender debate that is going on so if you are interested when/if i ever have a first draft of this book created, which realistically i am aiming for christmas, i would love to shoot you a copy for you to read (only if you want) and if you were willing for you to provide constructive honest criticism that would be great and in the book i am trying to tackle the issue that Dominc recognises that Femism is tainted word, and i hope you would be open minded enough to hear my opinion, as i will strive to stay open minded to hear your opinion it is only in this way that we can have a constructive debate and hope to refine our ideas fuck that was long winded ~ Regards thanks if you actually took the time to read all of that