TL;DR I was unable to write what I wanted to write without being afraid that it might trigger mania. It's a lot of word vomit, but there is a TL;DR also at the bottom. Also, please downvote this post. If a mod deletes it, I am perfectly fine with that.

I will probably open a thread in r-legal advice after this so I'll just briefly say I was doxxed by someone at my school because I did the stupid thing of using my main reddit account for merely commenting on TRP threads. There was a story I remember from PPD where some bluepill guy messaged all of the facebook contacts of a TRP mod who re-used a gym picture that the guy reverse-image searched on google, and found the guy's real life identity. If anyone can point me to that thread, I'd really appreciate it.

Bipolar is awesome, and yet it sucks if you fall victim to its euphoria and the "high" you get from it. I was able to get laid this past weekend from a girl out of my league by being a dork-friend/beta-orbiter on facebook then gaming her really well, and getting her to invite me to hangout. However, I also used my newfound charisma to "open up" and bond/reconnect with a lot of people on facebook that I've lost touch with. Nothing too cringy, but I messaged a lot of people and soon they'll probably think I randomly hit them up for conversation outta nowhere and to disappear for no reason.

I also initiated some grandiose plans by getting the ball rolling on about 6 different megalomaniacal schemes. I'll share 2 of them to illustrate how cringy they were. One was trying to get TRP un-quarantined. Another was trying to get an article on wikipedia created about TRP. The other 4 were borderline delusional.

When you're in a manic state, the plans seem viable and you have the energy & creativity to execute them. Your ability to achieve goals becomes extraordinary (although the success rate will always still be low). Your social charisma enables you to randomly hit up powerful people and strike up small-talk with them, which can then lead to you being able to influence them.

Fortunately, I have finally gained control over my bipolar disorder yesterday and am able to realize how fucked up in the head I was for a few days. Luckily, I didn't do anything illegal or harmful. My nagging temptation is regarding how to handle the loose ends I have created.

I know the safest thing to do is to quietly, smoothly "wrap everything up" in such a way that it would be weird/difficult for me to finish pursuing the original goal I created when I was in a manic state.

However, I'm tempted to play along with some or all of these ideas in a non-cringy way just to see how they fare on their own, while I'm in a non-manic state. I will be stoic, and outcome-independent. The risk here is that somehow I get sucked back into a manic state if the plan seems to show signs of succeeding.

Fwiw, I created a thread here on asktrp 3 days ago, and was aware of my manic/psychotic state and it really helped me be self-aware how dangerous the state I was in. By telling myself to take an abilify on Monday (which I have 90 pills), it kinda/sorta helped me frame the terms that I only intend to let my manic state last only for 1 weekend.

I might pm GLO and ask if I have permission to share the 3 pm's I sent him. He's arguably more powerful and influential than RPS. Plus I have pm'ed a lot over the months so I know what he likes from random, anonymous redditors, lol. I share this because it involves a good insight into how creative and goal-driven a man can be when in the first couple of days of a manic episode. At least one member of asktrp (user: ATRP2019) seems to understand how mania helps a person become as I've described in the since-deleted thread.

If I'm going to be honest, part of my reason for making this thread (which is obviously for my own benefit) is to guage the level of interest that the TRP community has. In the thread I deleted 3 days ago, I described how my mind was able to see social interactions so much more powerfully. There was only one other TRP member I've ever met that described the condition as "social process awareness" and I won't spill his main account's username (but I'll cough cough regarding about earthquakes, lol).

In fact, he really tried to mentor me in the TRP irc channel and I guess he didn't know I was manic, and he helped me a lot. How did I repay him you ask? Oh by melting his inbox with what I'm honestly guessing is several thousand words per day for many days or a couple weeks.

If anyone has skimmed this much so far, I'll say that everything TRP teaches about "frame" is true. Shit tests are all about a girl testing your frame. When you're manic, I'll just say every shit test is an opportunity to make the girl more under your mind control, lol.

Now to my question -- if you were me, would you wait a week and live every day "normal" and then gamble and see if some of the grandiose plans you got the ball started-on to see how they play out? (for research purposes of course)

TL;DR Should I wrap up the "loose ends" I created in such a way that it becomes infeasible for me to restart those grandiose plans? Or should I wait a week to be sure I'm in the right headspace, and then select one or a couple of the plans and see what happens if I devote minimal effort into pursuing them? (the plans are really cool & appealing, and I'd never be able to take the first series of steps which gets the ball rolling unless I were already in a manic state)

I had to finish this post fast because I don't want to become manic. I'll write a thread on r-legal advice now where I'll explain what triggered my manic episode, and I'll be as calm/stoic as possible (like anthony johnson in that "body language" video that compared him masculinely to glo)

Please downvote this thread, and delete it if it doesn't belong here on asktrp. (but to be fair "Is there a rp sub for older folks (30+)?" and also "Is there a better/new theredpill subreddit, or is new information regurgitation?" do not belong either!)