What is it like being an attractive dude?

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June 26, 2019
73 upvotes

Like what are your experiences? How has it helped you? How has it harmed you?

Talk about some public iterations you have had?

How do you know that you are attractive?

Do looks matter much with women? Looks / personality, what matters more?


Post Information
Title What is it like being an attractive dude?
Author push_limits__13
Upvotes 73
Comments 122
Date 26 June 2019 03:24 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/243401
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/c5kdzc/what_is_it_like_being_an_attractive_dude/
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Comments

[–]Foolishoe153 points154 points  (23 children) | Copy

It's like having big tits. Everyone is nice to you.

[–]Monkitail14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah sometimes I get away with shit I probably shouldn’t be able to get away with.

[–]PandaLitter 1 points [recovered]  (10 children) | Copy

How do you deal with jealous beta dudes that act like crabs in a bucket?

[–]iwviw 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

They’re were always be haters handsome or not. You deal with them the same either way.

[–]PandaLitter 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

And that is???

That was the point of my question!

[–]DerpJungler5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

There's no point confronting a hater. The point is to not let them affect your mindset and confidence. If there's no way they can get to your head, they have automatically failed.

[–]the13thmonk1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

“Indifference is an alpha quality”

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

[–]Foolishoe4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

No one holds a handsome boy down that works out and laughs off most things.

[–]alpthereal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

By keeping it cool. When I understand they are jealous, I do NOTHING about it. I just let the jealousy "to rise up".

But if they try to passive-aggresively insult me or my sex life, I let them know I own my frame.

For example like some of my friends are religious and talk like they don't wanna have sex before marriage, but they try to fuck every girl in the concievable universe and fail terribly. And then they say to me like,

"Man I'm sorry for you that you can't find love so you have to deal with all these bitches..."

Most of the times I react jokingly like,

"You know; One woman hurts a mans heart, two hurts a mans brain but after 3 women you just grap a popcorn and watch them hurt each other for you. You should try it too..."

So I actually dont respond to what they are saying at all just having my time.

[–]WizardSenpai0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Just don't be around them

[–]PandaLitter 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

The world isn't black and white. I'm going to have to encounter these types of dudes at some point in my life and I won't be able to walk away from them all

[–]TFWnoLTR0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't empower them by taking their negativity seriously.

[–]MurkyArtichoke 1 points [recovered]  (10 children) | Copy

It's all about your SMV. Looks play a part in this of course. Looks, body, personality, success..

You can be average-looking, but if you have a great body, success (either money or fame/status), and you have an attractive personality (humour, confidence) then your SMV will be high enough to fuck plenty of chicks.

I shared an apartment with a friend when i was studying. He was a pretty attractive dude. We went out drinking pretty often. Problem is he always got shitfaced drunk, and i can't even tell how many times he fucked it up with girls because of it. He could have girls interested in him, but he acted like an idiot and it got him nothing than a few occasional lays when he could keep it together. He is now in a relationship with a single-mom, and he has started taking care of her kids and stuff. They are moving in together. He is in his best age still and could be slaying every weekend, but he just doesn't know how to handle himself properly.

Another example is this dude who was one of my assistants for a while. Dude looked like a young matthew mcconnaughey. Early 20's, long hair with curls, smart, studying medicine and all that. I overheard several girls talking about how "pretty he was" and that "everyone in town wanted to get with him". I met him once at the local bar, and he was giving everything to get with a girl there, but he just flung himself at her and acted desperate, and it got him nothing. The girl went into the bathroom with one of the owners of the club instead lmao(see; status and success). I heard the dude was sleeping with one of my co-workers, who is an average 30-something chick, and i can't believe he doesn't realise the potential he has. Dude could be slaying 10's left and right in town if he had proper game.

Game is everything. Looks will help you tremendously, but it's not the only thing making up your SMV.

[–]winstrol14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

On point information.

[–]throwaway199913126 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

To add to this my 5ft 5 slightly chubby friend pulled a 7ish outa 10 through his decent game.

[–]kleancut4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is so true. One of my buddies is like 6’4 jacked , squared face like a solid ten. Chicks throw them selves at him in public. However he’s extremely socially awkward and doesn’t know how to handle any situation. Zero puss.

And then we have my other friend, mediocre farmer, flabby but super cool and smooth, and has confidence. Slays the hottest hottest chicks. It’s super unbelievable.

[–]MDmanson1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Im thinking to make a post asking about the need of Game...I've been pretty successful with girls lately and I wonder why since I don't have Game.

I'm serious, a fucking rock could talk funnier stories than me. A damn salamander has a lot more charisma than me.

I'm not very attractive. I'm tall. Skinny fat. However I've been able to get pussy without any real effort in the last months....

I'll make that post in the upcoming days.

[–]TexAs_sWag4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Even if you don’t have game, you might have the right attitude. Or perhaps merely opportunistic being in the right place at the right time while successfully not fucking it up. Certainly doesn’t hurt being tall — skinny fat isn’t even noticeable with decent clothes.

[–]boom_bostic0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Man, don’t you hate it when a younger guy is settling in life just because he probably wasn’t brought up in pro-masculine environment.

I see it way too often. I have this burden to try to help these young fellas out. As a man, I guess I just see it as my responsibility. Many of them start to straighten up with a little masculine wisdom and direction.

[–]BaronIncognito0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

On SMV: I think incels over estimate the importance of looks. TRP probably over estimates the importance of lifting. Neither will help if you lack confidence.

[–]Flintblood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I overheard several girls talking about how "pretty he was" and that "everyone in town wanted to get with him". I met him once at the local bar, and he was giving everything to get with a girl there, but he just flung himself at her and acted desperate, and it got him nothing. The girl went into the bathroom with one of the owners of the club instead lmao(see; status and success)

That there actively describes two main ideas here: 1. that male SMV much more complicated than being about looks alone. Male SMV is a more nuanced mix of natural looks if you have them, grooming, personality (both are presentation), and status (success, money, fame).; 2. That knowing your worth, and letting that frame all your actions prevents you from falling into desperate people-pleaser Beta behavior. True abundance starts inside and is supported and hard wired with experience.

[–]LifeIsAdreamGoLucid17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

There is this thing called "the halo effect" where people assume youre smarter, more capable or more trustworthy than you actually might be. Easier to get jobs and really amps your charisma if you can hold a convo.

You have abundance mentality because of the steady IOIs and comments on your appearance. The other side of that coin is that it inflates your ego so rather than risk shattering it you may not approach or take risks with girls.

People just assume youre getting laid all the time even when its not true.

It can definitely create a false sense of confidence. Perhaps arrogance?

Because society puts so much importance into appearance, you do as well. So an attractive meat sack is like driving a shiny sports car but when that car starts to wear and age you're less prepared to handle it because of the importance you have put on it.

You do have girls try pick you up, had a smoke show say " hes mine" trying to claim me. One pointed at me and walked straight over to try pick me up, dancing in club girls will gravitate towards you like theyre stuck in your atmosphere, girls bite their lips, do double takes when they see you etc but honestly 95 percent of the time you still have to make the move.

People like talking and being around things they are attracted too. Its human nature. Physical attraction is just one part of that. But it is the first and intial point of attraction, but if you open your mouth and you're a Muppet then that attraction is pretty worthless.

[–]horologist2018 1 points [recovered]  (21 children) | Copy

Like what are your experiences? How has it helped you?

Helped in lots of ways I'm sure. Definitely helps in getting laid much more easily and with minimal effort on my part.

How has it harmed you?

Giving me a slight sense of entitlement and probably some narcissism.

Talk about some public interations you have had?

This is a little broad. I'll just stick to what girls do: They go above and beyond to try and catch me in their web. They make themselves significantly more available than you would normally expect. They give me gifts. My last birthday, I got three gifts from my three separate plates - and very thoughtful gifts too. When I say thoughtful, I mean gifts where I'm like "Jeez, this took a lot of careful consideration, and suits only me."

How do you know that you are attractive?

When I was younger, my mother would - in all seriousness/not in a biased motherly tone - tell me I was too good looking for my own good.

I remember when I was 13, I went to the apartment swimming pool, and met this girl Nicole, who knew my younger brother. I remember specifically the look she gave me. She came up to the edge of the pool, where I was sitting, and just stared at me for a good five seconds, mouth hanging open. She asked my mom "is this Ben's brother?". She told her yes, and she swam away, looking back at me once. My mom leaned over and said "She thinks your cute."

Since then, in adult life, girls would essentially throw themselves at me in over-the-top obvious ways.

Some females have straight up told me to my face that I am "ridiculously attractive," "so sexy and you know it," etc. Occasionally, if I am talking to, or having sex with a girl who is in reality a 6, but I see her as a 9-10, sometimes they will get insecure and tell me they don't know why I'm spending time with them, or they don't know "what a guy like you sees in me." etc.

I get touched a lot.

Do looks matter much with women?

Yes and no. Women are dynamic with SMV. If you look good, then you're lucky, and that ups your attractiveness on one side. But if you have a shit personality, no money, etc, then your SMV is lower in other areas, and women average out all SMV factors to make one constant SMV. You don't have to be a sexy man to have a high SMV; you just have to raise your value in other areas.

Looks / personality, what matters more?

I have no clue. But I will tell you, I have the personality of an ugly duckling. I'm extremely talkative, read a lot, write a lot, have some elaborate hobbies, and women overall enjoy being around me. It would be easier if I acted like a total douchebag, because then these women would know what they're dealing with, and would move on much more easily.

The problem I have, with personality, is that the looks hook them, and the personality/talkativeness is like heroin for them.

Personality is extremely powerful. Personality probably matters more in the long run; the looks just get them on board more quickly. The strong personality traits are something they keep trying to figure out, that they keep coming back to.

Lots of bragging here, I think. But that's my two cents.

[–]ThatKidinAfrica23 points24 points  (8 children) | Copy

Damn, I'm now curious to see what you look like.

[–]hansieboy103 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

Yeah, do you mind?

[–]horologist2018 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

I do mind. I would rather remain anonymous.

[–]hansieboy100 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I respect that bro.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Do not request personal info

[–]Vikingcel2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

He can handle the requests himself just fine.

[–]Monkitail1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

But only if you say Yeshomo First

[–]sedo8081 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

What are your hobbies

[–]horologist2018 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I'm a Watchmaker and Jeweler, so my hobbies revolve around that.

[–]aced1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I met a very pretty girl who got obsessed with watches after visiting Switzerland. I think there were some handsome watchmakers involved too.

[–]badabing6541 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Whos your celebrity look a like

[–]PizzaAndProtein0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Occasionally, if I am talking to, or having sex with a girl who is in reality a 6, but I see her as a 9-10, sometimes they will get insecure and tell me they don't know why I'm spending time with them, or they don't know "what a guy like you sees in me." etc.

This one happens to me quite often. I was sleeping with a girl not too long ago who said something along these lines and called me a dickhead for how confidently I was acting, I told her I was the biggest dickhead she would ever meet - she's coming to my city to visit next week.

Another time I was making out with a girl at a club, imo a 7 or 8, she says "Why? See those two girls - you could have both of them if you wanted to." (This one was more shit-testy than what I quoted of your text but it was still rather fun.)

[–]TexAs_sWag0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Excellent assessment. I’m nowhere near this level of attractive, but attractive enough to sometimes have moments with these types of interactions with 6s and 7s perhaps.

[–]PandaLitter 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

How do you deal with jealous beta dudes that act like crabs in a bucket?

[–]PizzaAndProtein0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You don't; ignore them.

[–]bbcbarbarossa 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

pics or it dint happen

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Do not request personal info

[–]Vikingcel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He can handle the requests himself just fine.

[–]mrpoopistan30 points31 points  (11 children) | Copy

No matter how good looking you are, game takes it to the next level.

I could get laid before TRP, and I stumbled into it by a weird avenue just looking up questions I had about certain female and larger social behaviors.

The weirdest thing about have good looks and no game is that people treat every failure to exploit your position as extremely odd or upsetting. Women, in particular, end up being confused by the disconnect between your apparent SMV and how you conduct yourself.

When I became game-aware -- still pre-TRP because I'm old enough that "game" and "PUA" were the watchwords at that time -- it was odd how attitudes toward me changed. First, anyone who new me for a long time went into "whoa! what is this?!" mode or challenged my new assertiveness.

Second, anyone who didn't know me assumed I must be "someone." Random people suddenly want to be your friend just to be seen in your vicinity. It's unreal to have women who barely know you tell you that you are movie star handsome.

I was someone who didn't imagine myself as an attractive person. I was told I was gifted at age 5, and that's what I shaped my entire pre-game identity around, and therefore investing time and attitude into being an attractive person didn't make sense to me.

That led to a massive disconnect. Like, people in HS assumed I was gay because I wasn't tripping over myself to date the girls who were throwing themselves at me. That led to some anger issues, especially when girls acted weird around me.

(Full disclosure: there's probably some aspietard there. I have the understanding of dinosaurs, computers, programming and train systems to prove it.)

What was extremely weird was the first time I kinda took inventory of my life to that point. It was very fucking weird to figure out I coulda fucked Chick A is I had caught the signal. I coulda fucked Chick B if I hadn't gotten pissed at her incomprehensible hot-cold teasing. I could fucked Chick C if . . . and so on.

Another weird thing is the change in attitude from 4s, 5s and 6s. They went from brutal shit testing and teasing to full-on meekness. I've completely lost the ability to fuck a 6 unless it's in a super sexual situation -- like a rave -- where there's zero expectation of mate retention.

7s are still total bitches, though, because being in the SMV sweet spot means they'll treat you the same no matter what. 7s horde all the attention while never nailing down the male 9s, and that makes them uber cunty while having a high opinion of themselves.

8s and 9s stay pretty much the same, but they go from just being nice to you to being nice and receptive. Suddenly, "awww" turns into "awww" and her leaning into you and rubbing her leg against you.

TLDR version: No matter how attractive you are, game helps a ton. It's like flipping the difficulty switch to a setting lower.

[–]Pooddit16 points17 points  (8 children) | Copy

"The weirdest thing about have good looks and no game is that people treat every failure to exploit your position as extremely odd or upsetting. Women, in particular, end up being confused by the disconnect between your apparent SMV and how you conduct yourself."

This I am struggling with. I was a weirdo all of my life until now I'm 30 and got laser eye surgery and have been lifting for years, getting sun, fucked a few hoes, w/e. Before, no women noticed me. Now, I just seem to piss women off left and right. I had no concept of status when I was a member of a crossfit gym and close with the owner, women liked it, I didn't know. Women get offended that I don't give them the attention they think they are entitled to. They think I lift weights for them. I have a lot of mental issues from 30 years of not being in the sexual market place, and my sister and other sources betafying the fuck out of me, or people walking all over me all my life. Men talk to me like I am somebody. I have the look, but my mind is all fucked up.

For some reason it makes me fucking sick, MAD, when I get special attention for perceived worth. Women learn you status has changed and treat you differently. It's disgusting! Women didn't give a fuck about me before but now that I have muscles they think I did it for them. The problem with TRP is that I hate women now. I am not horny either. I had to shut down my attention for females as a kid because my sister was always up my ass needing a daddy figure. They thought I was gay, everyone, my whole family, but I was suffocating under my sister's presence, and her influence over everyone, she tried so hard to make me into a beta male, I don't know why! She saw that I wasn't being a man, BUT SHE WAS MY SISTER! Women are fucked up.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

You'll get past this. There's a second anger phase when you realize that being attractive completely changes the way you're treated.

[–]classylassy281 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't understand how people don't know this from like a very early age being attractive changes everything. You have to have literally zero common sense if you don't pick that up early on in life.

[–]Pooddit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I remember being "momma's little man" and then I started school (and my mom ran off with a tall british man). I was not these womens' little man. They chose other kids. I remember over hearing "he's so cute" when they referred to another boy. I was getting the best grades in school and reading the most books, quite the achievement for a little kid, but I did not get attention for it.

My dad tried his hardest to get me attention for it, because he thought it was what mattered. That's what his mother taught him, merit matters. But that was because he was still brainwashed to be a provider and depend on the validation of women, women who did no care about him, they only wanted him to be a workhorse.

I completely forgot about this for most of my life. I decided as a kid I would not be seeking attention through merit and I knew I would not be getting attention though my looks. So I said fuck it and stopped seeking at all. Now I'm way older and fed up not having what I want in life, so I am going through these phases again.

It turns out that I was not that bad looking of a kid. My dad was just going through the butt-hurt phase of his life of balding and not getting attention like he wanted at the time, and was forcing that mentality on me hardcore. The message was "you won't get attention unless you work hard." It's almost like he wanted me to never know my worth, because he was butt-hurt at his own losses. My mother and sister could not understand why I wouldn't just "be cool" and I realized it was because I had been convinced that I didn't have the look. Now that I think about it, I was okay, I had some look to me, girls did give me attention.

I think I have overcome my father's issues. When I started balding I shaved my head. When there are younger, better men around, I don't get insecure. I don't associate with women who blatantly only care about my looks or wealth.

[–]teveza110 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

There's a second anger phase when you realize that being attractive completely changes the way you're treated.

I disagree. It was always obvious to me that being attractive unjustly affects how people are treated.

It's just a fact of life, there was no epiphany that made me rage.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Not saying it's guaranteed, but lots of "reformed betas" go thru it.

[–]teveza110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

reform

I see what you are saying. Any blue pilled beliefs that I may have had were gone by my late teens, so I never had the same slap in the face realization that many here eventually received.

[–]LifeIsAdreamGoLucid1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Far out man. Alot of what you said hit home. Especially the part where your dad was projecting his own insecurities onto you after your mum left.

Happened with me when my mum left... after dad tried to take her back after she cheated. So fucked. I get angry as well when people treat you differently based on your perceived worth. They dont know me and who i am or what ive done. It just all seems disingenuous. I grew into my looks so i know how i was treated before. It can really mess with your head.

Its good that youre at least aware of your shit. All the best man.

[–]Gandalfthegrey2323 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Holy shit yes, I am very good looking and get told all the time how hot I am. My game is complete shit and when women realize this they are shocked and confused. I have on multiple occasions had girls say something like “ Why aren’t you hitting on me more, your supposed to be more confident. You’re super hot.” Basically I was supposed to be their Prince Charming and dream guy but ended up being the opposite.

Looks don’t mean shit if you can’t capitalize on them.

[–]adam_varg0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I even got 'pls stop talking, you are ruining it'. That one stung a lot

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

People are nicer to you and respect you more. Some can be intimidated at first.

Also girls check you out, alot, plus they are good at hiding it as well. If you have looks trust me, you already in the door. Personality is what makes you stay in the house though.

Both looks and personality matter with girls. You have to have the look for physical attraction and the personality for the emotional attraction.

[–]mseand24 points25 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's game. Literally 90% of women are gonna have a crush on you and it gets annoying to a point where when you don't have the intention of having an intimate relationship with a certain girl and you just wanna be friends but she's pursuing you hard you get this churning feeling in your stomach accompanied by nausea. Happens to those who are really advanced and isn't a rare thing. Basically it sucks when you're in a certain social circle with said girls and are forced to see them throughout a specified period of time

[–]SolidLiquidGasPlasma25 points26 points  (3 children) | Copy

Dude it’s super cool unless you’re not the wolf of Wall Street then it’s like oh I gotta have gains too? Then eh

[–]push_limits__13[S] 15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

What does this sentence mean?

[–]FilthyStylish0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You ain’t rich and famous and super high status.

[–]BurningOrangeHeaven7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Made me think i was on wsb lol

[–]JyoungPNG11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here’s an anecdote to elaborate on this.

I’ve been friends with this absolute 10/10 girl (looks and personality) for the past 8 months or so. I met her through one of my plates and got real connected to her. Never had the balls to act on it but recently she started talking to this other guy. He’s incredibly attractive, 6’2, looks like an absolute Chad. I, myself, am pretty decent but man the way these girls would talk about him was insane. It showed me that looks, especially amongst younger girls, have extreme levels of power. Problem for him though, he acted like an absolute beta. Not much charm, dull, not funny, weak frame, failed every shit test. So, this 10/10 dime lost interest.

Now here’s where I toot my own horn a bit. I capitalized on this and decided to man the fuck up and realize that I’m the prize. Made my move. Bagged a 10.

Looks are like having an Ivy League on your resume, they’ll get you an interview, but if you can’t communicate your value to the employer, you’re not getting the job.

[–]flyinghorse14 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not super hot - just decent looking. The cool thing is going on tinder and getting matches and dates really easily. I never realized this was a privilege until I went onto reddit and found out some men don't get matches at all.

As for what I like in a woman: same as everyone - sexual attraction, similar tastes, good conversations, similar outlooks.

[–]rpmc835 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I used to get about 1 match every 2 weeks on Tinder. Then one day, I matched a fairly attractive girl and we decided to meet up. She told me I was much more attractive in person and that my pictures were shit. She was intimidated because I was more attractive than she had prepared herself for. We dated for a number of months but she was totally crazy in the end. I went to Europe, got better photos and ever since it's been like fishing with dynamite. Most swipes are a match, got hundreds, most women I meet are interested and I regularly had 4 or more dates per week. I had to stop using apps because it was too much. I would just accept hot girls invitations to do stuff, and for each of them it might be a few days in-between meetups, but I'd have others every day in the middle. It was probably the best dating experience I've had, just not giving a fuck and enjoying life. A few months ago, I met one that seems really to tick most of the right boxes and I decided to call it quits on the harem and see what it's like just dating her. Been nearly 4 months and still going great.

Oh, and also, there was a time when I was skinny because I was competitive at road cycling. I had no luck with women during that times. I set up a gym in my garage and worked out lots, learned to love the burn, and put on 20-40 lbs (I fluctuated a bit over the past year) and I also grew a beard. That also coincided with meeting the first girl I mentioned, having her be intimidated etc. I also noticed that in general, people became more helpful and inviting to me after those physical changes. My entire experience as a human interacting with the public changed, and it snowballed into helping out my frame and confidence.

Edit: Just realized I barely answers the OP's questions. I'll do so now:

"Like what are your experiences? How has it helped you? How has it harmed you?"

Helped me realize I could date almost anyone. I used to have low self esteem and don't like to show off or brag. Now, I know I can date most women and have the confidence necessary to do it, however my decades of shyness is still there underneath my confidence and athletic body. Women seem to find the combination endearing and adorable but they know I'm dangerous at the same time.

It harmed me in that I've had some women tell me they weren't considering dating me because I was intimidating and felt they wouldn't be able to keep up. I realized I missed a lot of opportunities when I was more shy and failed to approach those sort of women. Some of those women who disqualified themselves were bombshells in my opinion too. I wish I'd known everything I do now, when I was younger.

I also dated a girl who said she typically only ever dates thin nerdy video gamer guys. She said she's never dated anyone as hot as me, that it was different and she had to experience it. In the end, she actually dumped me for a small trench coat wearing, ponytailed Word of Warcraft Guild Master guy. Exactly her type. She knew what was comfortable for her, but she had to have me for a while just for the experience. That sucked for me because I was considering a possible LTR if it lasted a while longer.

"Talk about some public interations you have had?"

Not sure, I've had a ton, but generally speaking, everything I've heard from many women is that I am very attractive. I know it, but I'm still a bit shy. It's a holdover from growing up with low self esteem before finding decent work, hitting the weights and being competitive in a lot of physical pursuits.

"How do you know that you are attractive?"

I'm told about it constantly by a lot of people. I don't even bring it up. If anything, I'm awkward at receiving compliments about it.

"Do looks matter much with women? Looks / personality, what matters more?"

Women love looks, but as most of us know here, looks aren't everything. I don't have perfect game, tons of money or amazing frame. But I'm comfortable in all those areas. Having people perceive me as physically attractive compensates for my other average attributes and it adds to my confidence as I try to improve the those other aspects of myself.

"BONUS ROUND: How many tinder matches do you have? How many times do women stare at you in a given day?"

I haven't used Tinder in months. It's not even installed on my current phone and I live in a town of about 100k. When I swapped phones a couple weeks ago, I took a peek and I had about 220 matches remaining.

[–]DangerZone-- 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

People are generally nicer to me. Women almost always react well to my flirting, which is basically my default mode now. Cops still give me tickets so no breaks there.

Girls will not cold approach but they will give you looks or more passive indications of interest, putting themselves closer, etc.

You still have to have some game though. In my younger days I was a complete retard with women and sabotaged myself quite a bit. Now that I am somewhat less retarded, things are better.

Also, I’m terrified of going to prison. With a face like mine, I’m certain that I would be fucked in every sense of that word.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

sounds exactly like me lol, esp vibe with third paragraph. Man, what an idiot I was

[–]thenewyorkmind 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

What things would you do that made you retarded with girls?

I’m guessing not recognizing IOis or not approaching?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I feel like I've always been good at identifying IOIs, problem was and still is to a certain degree being comfortable with my own sexuality and escalating. Was just really beta and would usually get friendzoned in the end, or the girl would lose interest

[–]UpperRedSide3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

  1. People are generally nicer to you.

The halo effect makes it so that even if you don’t say a lot or interact much, everyone somehow thinks you’re they’re friend.

  1. You get away with things that other guys wouldn’t get away with.

For example, I flirted with this girl from work while another, older, less attractive man did the same. This girl complained to HR about the man and then went home early, however before that she asked me to go to a carnival with her.

  1. People are more likely to let you escalate physically. I’m 5’11”, fit, and have a very proportionate, (though I wouldn’t say striking) bone structure. Girls are usually a ok with me touching them, hugging them, kissing them, etc, even if they had no prior intention of interacting with me on those terms.

  2. I have just as many Tinder matches as your average male, however, they tend to be quite attractive, 7s and up. That’s likely because I’m selective with my swiping though. If I swiped on more I’d probably get more.

  3. BONUS. Being good looking helps, but honestly not that much. It’ll set you apart from the other guys in a girl’s circle, but being a wussy will kill her initial desire. Just remember that if you’re gonna be attractive, don’t forget to be socially dominant as well.

[–]geo_gan3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Number 2 above demonstrates the totally cunt-ish double standard of women. She had the balls to get some poor fucker in trouble in work just because the metoo bullshit empowered her to think she had the right to do that, while at the same time letting you away with the same thing just because she thought you were better looking. What a total cunt. You should have went to HR too and told them what she did.

[–]celincelin1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Your average male has no Tinder matches, mate.

You don’t have to be socially dominant or whatever, just don’t be actively clueless.

[–]morescoobysnacks 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Your average male has no Tinder matches, mate.

hahaha. so easy to spot the naturally good looking guys trying to downplay their looks to feel better about their game.

[–]Vikingcel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

TRP is littered with guys like that.

[–]TexAs_sWag0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Is that true? I’m definitely not in league with the guys answering the questions in here, but I still get matches every week or so.

[–]celincelin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, I believe that's mostly true in the US.

[–]uptimex4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know a guy who is tall and blond and looks like half Curt Cobain and half Dorian Grayish. Some girls beg him to fuck them, but not pretty ones, mostly girls 5-6. As I understood it kind of heightens their self-esteem. Everyone trying to be good with him, sharing a place in public transport, etc. I guess it can give a huge advantage, but mostly I see attractive dudes don't use it, don't know why. I think they are a little bit spoiled, in that much attention you stop giving a shit about attention and attraction, because you haven't earned it. It is kind of given. It is like you have been given walking so you don't walk that much, but if you were a person who can't walk and suddenly you get it, you would be the happiest person on the planet. Not like us, ugly dudes, earning attention with blood, sweat, and tears.

[–]Skinnyboiwithadream2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

I honestly can’t say I’ve noticed it helping me yet in any situation, I’m only 20 and never had a real job, so I’ve not had chance to see its effects in the workplace or in terms of getting jobs/my career.

Socially, however. It doesn’t help. I used to think I was ugly/people just didn’t like me for whatever reason because people would generally just be rude/not seem like they want to speak to me/be cold with me.

Since downloading tinder, I realised perhaps they are intimidated? Shy? Or just assume I don’t want to engage with them? I really don’t get it, but I guess because I’m quiet, and supposedly good looking, people assume I’m stuck up/arrogant? (Far from the truth, my close friends could vouch for this). People generally stick very close to their close friends in my presence and act like they don’t know me/never make strong eye contact with me, it’s beyond weird. I wouldn’t put it all down to my looks though, maybe I’m just not a very approachable person and maybe it’s something I need to work on, I don’t know.

I know I’m attractive because when I’m with a girl, they always get insecure really really quick and always tell me how attractive I am to the point it’s annoying, they constantly talk about how they’re punching above their weight and are confused as to why I like them. As well as that, I do very well on online dating apps, which, for a man in 2019, apparently is rare.

I wouldn’t say I’m ridiculously attractive, but this is my tinder (two different screenshots, one more recent and one a week ago):

Tinder

Women do look at me a lot in public, as do men in the gym weirdly, but I never assumed it was due to my looks, as I’m not THAT attractive, nor do I have a particular ‘striking face’ so I assume everyone gets these looks and it’s not unique to me.

[–]throwawayboyfriend50 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Jheeeeeez boii you must be a male model or something. Can you show a pic of yourself without compromising your identity or something?

[–]Skinnyboiwithadream0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I’m far from a male model! If I had to objectively judge myself I’m maybe a 6-7 in terms of body, height and face combined.

I would love to post a picture but like you said, wouldn’t want to compromise my identity.

[–]throwawayboyfriend50 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You must either have a really good face or body, or both. That's a lot of matches, your lay count should be high.

[–]Skinnyboiwithadream0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My lay count is 2, I’m only 20 though to be fair.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everyone's friendly, lots of matches, eye contact and IOIs with good looking girls. Don't think I've ever been rejected asking a girl out (problem was second dates /escalation). I was told / heard by numerous girls, plus I just sorta know myself.

Doesn't matter if you don't have game though.

[–]Capt_Am4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why are you asking this? If you don't think you're attractive, then flaunt what makes you unique.

I'm Asian, average height, slightly fat, and older, but I carry myself as if I'm the prize. It has worked out so far.

Stop wishing for things that you don't have; go make better of things you do have.

[–]OneTrueQ1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Unlike with women, there is a ceiling for what physical attraction does for men. Women are not expected to be super nice and warm, but it is pleasant when they are.

A physically attractive male that is not warm is still perceived as a threat.

Personally though, I never needed charisma to get attention. But now as a young adult I am reaping the consequences of not working on that earlier. People aren’t gonna care that you are handsome if you aren’t charismatic. Don’t rely on looks is a big point for handsome guys. Not the place to compete in as a male.

[–]Jampak_50001 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

  1. People are more friendly, more likely to get that job, be invited by acquaintances to that party etc etc. Harmed; a few people will be insanely jelous and hate you. Average looking girls can be really hateful cos they know they're not good enough for you. And some guys that are bluepill will look at you like chad and hate you, but overall its nice. The other thing is expectations, being tall good looking people expect you to be on your game more than the average by which I mean; grades, body, job, everything. Its a little bit like being spiderman, with great power comes great resp. but too a MUCH lesser extent (comp with spiderman)

Public interactions; people come up to me and say; "you look just like xyz person I know" and will also be more likely to strike up a conversation in random places, like in a que, or shop. because I'm good looking people assume im not a murderer and just like shooting the shit (not always, just more than when ugly)

You know youre attractive cos people stare at you, and sometimes they'll just tell you.

With women looks matter, but status is still king. they're are plenty of good looking guys with 0 game and 0 women. theyre are also plenty of ugly or average looking guys with game/frame that have women.

What I see with good looking guys, is that they have initial attraction with a woman/girl based off their good looks, then they mess it up after with bluepill actions, weak frame, fill in the blank.

Basically you have a starting point advantage, but you still have to run in the race.

Tinder matches; infinite, most don't go anywhere though. having said that ive prob banged around 50 off tinder. Tinder makes the natural 80/20 more like 95/5. which is great if your in the 5.

[–]Protocol_Apollo2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s a blessing and a curse.

Attractive dudes have higher chances of pulling for ONS/club game.

However, a lot of them intentionally/unintentionally will rely on their looks alone. Really good looking dudes will never find stuff like game, trp theory or anything else like that.

Why?

Because most of them would get at least average/above average amounts of pussy. An amount that they will be content with but not necessarily amazed with. For them, they don’t need it.

But, these guys are still susceptible to fucking up with women in many ways (divorce rape due to no vetting, constantly losing frame in their ltr, not knowing how to vet for a ltr, not knowing how to game a girl etc)

Now, an attractive dude with game, decent fashion, lifts and knows trp is a weapon

[–]1TyroneTheDriver1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

do looks matter with women, what about personality

-_-

[–]redpilllogin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's definitely an advantage but does not guarantee automatic success. Michael Phelps has the genetics of an Olympic swimmer but if he didn't train every day his entire life he wouldn't be a better swimmer than your average dude.

I'm relatively good looking and aside from a few looks and occasionally catching a girl staring, I get absolutely nothing from it. I honestly get more looks from gay dudes.

[–]Lightways4340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just to reiterate what others have said- people are generally nicer to you and more willing to go out of their way for you.

[–]NeedRealityShock0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Looks / personality, what matters more?

Looks if you want a short interaction, Personality if you want the girl to stick around

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why don't you become attractive and find out for yourself?

[–]azynporter0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s really nothing special, you get a average amount of glances when you go out or what not (depending on physical looks). I somewhat have a quirky and dorky personality and it’s hard to find women like this these days in my opinion. Just about every women that came into my life always called me weird because of my personality. I don’t even waste time approaching and or dealing with them for now cuz I know things would only last for about a week or two. If I decide I want to fuck or something then I’ll go for it.

Looks will get you in the door but if you got that personality and that charisma then shit man, go fuck.

Don’t change for anyone.

[–]JedYorks0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m uglier and I am accountable for everything. No slack just strict rules. Nice looking people get slack and stray out of lane without much backlash.

[–]OfficerWade0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It doesn't feel like anything at all. You just be yourself and women will notice you. They wont notice you if you're not you, does that make sense?

[–]drsherbert0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It get your foot in the door, but it doesn’t guarantee anything if you don’t act masculine.

[–]maljo240 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well, it’s not easy... :-)

[–]send_it_for_the_boys0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

On looks scale I’m very attractive, I get IOIs from women all the time, I’ve had gay dudes hit on me, people get intimidated from me. I’m 5’11 187 lbs, pretty cut and very vascular. Blonde hair, blue eyes, strong jaw. I’ve been told I look like a couple different actors. I get a lot of compliments. I get treated too nice sometimes. But I apparently also make a lot of people insecure, I meet so many people all the time who just talk shit to me and try to test my frame over and over it really gets annoying, I have people talk shit about me all the time calling me a douche bag and stuff just because the way that I look and because I walk like I have a back bone. When you’re attractive and look strong/intimidating haters will find any little thing that you do and try to belittle you for it, because you make them feel like a bitch so they have to try to set themselves in the light above you.

[–]Flintblood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A good question to add here is "what are your attractive features" and it should be qualified by raising the bar to "very attractive" instead of just attractive.

[–]celincelin0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I’m ass ugly to the mug but have nice arms. Even that gets me some attention, mostly by men but I’m not complaining, validation is validation. Legit attractive guys live on another planet and often don’t even know it.

[–]Fuktiga_mejmejs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lately when I've went to the club I've noticed that a lot of women stare at me and they don't really seem to care that i catch them staring either, this is most likely because I am quite good lookin but also because i Dance like there's no tomorrow hahah girls love it when you just DGAF

[–]TooManyThots 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Not sure if I'm considered attractive but I did get rated 9.6 on photofeeler and get around 20 matches a week on tinder (80-100 if I use a boost), female friends have said my tinder profile is top 5%. Not quite "Let's smash" territory but my matches are always down for a drink. I also used to be unattractive in my younger years, a picture from back then got 3.4 on photofeeler, in other words, the differences between attractive and unattractive are very noticeable.

Biggest Differences. Everyone treats you better, and I mean everyone. 90 year old women, co-workers, your boss, men and women a like. Something I'm still getting used to is men and women wanting to be my friend just for me, being there. They either see me as above or equal to their value. Despite having retard levels of social anxiety I get invited to parties more often, people approach me more often, including women.

When I go out I notice myself getting checked out a lot, especially at clubs etc, it's not uncommon for me to be the tallest person there so it's easy to get noticed. When I talk to women they assume I'm fucking other people and all the girls I know see me as really picky because I haven't asked any of them out (in reality I'm just too shy).

#None of that matters though.

Attractiveness increases your opportunity. It decreases your rejection rate, increases IoI's and it drastically lowers LMR (I never get asked to us a condom and some girls actively beg me to cum inside them, obviously I don't). However at the end of the day, you still need game to actually get the job done. I go to parties thrown by girls, and every guy there is an 8+. Over 6ft, good looking, owns a business or just looks like a celebrity, but most of them aren't fucking any of the girls, or just fucking the low tier girls. Without game you wont be a player, no matter how hot you are, even male models imo.

Also being more attractive, I feel women expect you to be far more experienced. When I was a 6/10 women tended to be more patient and some even saw my meekness as cute, which could lead to relationships. Now that I'm 200lb it's like they just want me to absolutely dominate their world, but I've never liked ONS and much prefer casual, but meaningful relationships. Don't get me wrong, attractive is still better, and if I just grew some balls it would be much better.

I've looksmaxxed for 4+ years but almost ignored my mental progress because I thought looks where all that mattered. They are hugely important but still only 50% of the equation. An average guy living his fullest life, being bold and overcoming his weaknesses is a more enjoyable life than a good looking guy getting by. Ideally you'd be both. I need to work on my boldness, and having dreams. As an attractive guy though, you are expected to be BOLD more so than average guys, and when you aren't girls hate it even more.

Also because no one ever posts proof:

https://imgur.com/X53x0wf

https://imgur.com/y116sEs

https://imgur.com/f3PDGJs

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sorry buddy them chicks aren’t that hot. I suspect you’re just a slightly above average caucuasian but you’re not upper tier attractive based on your match pool. The guy a couple posts above you is an example of the type of matches an actually attractive guy gets. I think a lot of you on this sub are overestimating yourselves. If the hottest chick and the gay guys in your gym aren’t eye fucking you then you’re not that attractive. If women have never told you you’re really hot or look like a gq model you’re not that attractive. Honestly the biggest benefit of being attractive is that I know no woman is out of my league, although some will be out of my price range. That’s just life.

[–]Rstallion-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Im not a model looking guy. Acutally I can look like shit if I don't groom myself properlly or I can look pretty decend if I groom myself,but the key to being an attractive male is your personality. Im douchey but still not hurtfull. I challenge people on discussions,but Im open minded. Most Girls like me because I lead them. Some of them has said that they didn't like me at first(no model looks) ,but start to flirt as soon as they get to know me a little bit. Looks will get you so far. In the end being a confident and bold like a man, morally is what makes you attractive!

[–]johnvu3562-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Idk, but i sure know life must be good for them

[–]krusecontrol91-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

It completely depends on your social aura and what kind of vibes you give off, in my experience.

[–]liberty1127-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think it's more about game from personal experience. I game everyone I meet....men and women. I never realized it until I started browsing trp... but I've always be AA and using sarcasm on people. It works wonders. I have to deal with very difficult customers at my business and I always find a way to keep them at ease, especially the ladies.

[–]PolesWithGoals 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Looks matter to college girls, not as much to girls outside of universities (as far as I know)

[–]geo_gan1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No. It matters to females of all ages same as men.

[–]bigXboi-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good experiences, girls approaching by themselves. It does help a lot, but I realised that I cant depend solely on the looks.. My social skills and communication I would rate 6/10, however a lot better.. 3 years ago it would be 2/10. Also it does harm me a little bit because Im narcisstic and I focus too much on myself. So now Im working on that. I know Im attractive because my mom told me. (just kidding :D), My friends, male or female telling me.. My male friends for example call me: GOD, a.k.a G, because my personality has many dimensions. You would have to spend 5 years with me to stop thinking Im weird... :D Looks matter. To some extent. For example I talk a lot about this with my mom. And she told me that even tho' some man can have beautiful face, if he is short/shorter than her she wouldnt date him even if they are connected on deep spiritual level. But hey, usually its best to use your disadvantage as advantage. Even tho my butt and face is pretty, i have buddha belly, but if you know how to present/sell it (in this case buddha belly) they gon' buy it!! Girls like to lay on my belly, play with it and shit.. Bonus round: 1. no tinder., 2. all of 'em. Everything is connected to everything. Attractivness - sexual energy transmutation - meditation - love.... etc.

[–]silent_dominant-5 points-4 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm a solid six at modt but I know this one girl (hb8-9) who for some reason thinks I'm very attractive and man it feels good. The way she looks at me, the things I can get away with saying to her, it's like I hardly can do anything wrong. I just feel super confident around her.

Too bad she's engaged...

[–]Vikingcel0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Lmao. You're feeling good about being an orbiter

[–]silent_dominant0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

ask me again in 2 weeks



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