I catch oneitis for any mildly attractive girl who takes interest in me

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June 26, 2019

Virgin, never had a proper relationship but have made out with a lot of chicks in clubs

I cant keep people hooked... People don't look forward to hanging out with me. I'm pretty much looksmaxxed and gym maxxed.

Due to social conditioning I feel very nervous to escalate when I'm alone with someone

I just saw my mild oneitis hang out with a guy. She used to take interest in me before i dried out her pussy. It's not surprising but I do feel like there is something that needs to be done.

When I'm good/nice, I'm the good/nice guy. When I'm neutral, nobody really gets hooked, they treat me like the neutral guy.

1- I'm not interesting but i want to be without faking it

2- want a healthy circle of friends who i can hang out with 3-4 times a week

3 - escalate without feeling nervous or without waiting for any obvious signs from her

Post Information
Title I catch oneitis for any mildly attractive girl who takes interest in me
Author bbcbarbarossa
Upvotes 122
Comments 58
Date 26 June 2019 07:47 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/243459
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/c5uqyq/i_catch_oneitis_for_any_mildly_attractive_girl/
Similar Posts

[–]acp_rdit45 points46 points  (14 children) | Copy

You are reeking of desperation and women pick up on it. What you really need it to take some time off of chicks to grind your social skills and personality.

I'm not interesting

Imagine what your hypothetical "interesting guy" does and do it, even if you aren't totally into it.

friends who i can hang out with at least 3-4 times a week

Adult men don't "hang out" that often, they are busy getting shit done. That is kids shit that you do in school when someone else is paying all the bills. This isn't a realistic expectation.

escalate without feeling nervous or without waiting for any obvious signs from her

You are inexperienced, but are too chicken to pay the failure price that getting experience demands. You need some models because you don't have anyone to teach you and it isn't like you get handed a manual the day you pop your first boner. Read some romance novels and watch some 70's porn. The LARP it next time you get a chance to touch a titty.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

The whole friends thing is so annoying. Like I love the people in my life but damn some of the dudes I used to go to high school with sound so needy when they’re like omg dude we haven’t hung out in soooo longgggg.

Like no shit cause you don’t party the way I party, all you wanna do is play video games, and you never wanna chase the check outside your 9-5. Like.

Sorry rant lmao

[–]bbcbarbarossa 1 points [recovered]  (9 children) | Copy

What would you suggest I do to improve my social skills and personality?

The hypothetical interesting guy is a great advice. I think i can experiment with it.

I agree that adults don't hang out. Then how can adult make friends by seeing each other once a week?

I shall do that. Do you have any romance novels in mind?

[–]VigilantSmartbomb10 points11 points  (6 children) | Copy

Listen to Jordan Peterson, he’s an expert on personality transformation. Great personality lectures on YouTube.

The best and only way is to throw yourself into the literal fire and become the fool that you need to be in order to become the master. 👌🏽you’re gonna look silly at first, embrace it, cause eventually it won’t be as so and you’ll look back and smile lol

[–]SigmaTalks0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

No dude fuck Peterson when it comes to game. He's a master in other areas but...game? he has no qualifications.

[–]electricspresident4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

He's not talking about game. He's talking about core personality. Game is like a skill that is a side effect of personality. But this skill feels like a switch that you put on and off.

The redpill is to make that switch permanent such that this 'game' becomes your core personality. I mean that is the origin of game really. Ofcourse now game had gotten more advance with techniques and shit. But those black rappers for eg never had to read game or techniques but they just are the embodiment of it. Their core personality attracts women like flies. And some of them rappers ain't even rich.

They throw themselves into an image and eventually become it. this is what our OP is hinting at and what that commenter was saying via J.Peterson.

The idea is to forget game but rather have that core personality developed to the point, you are the shit.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Are you kidding? Do you know the about the poon thrown at him? Lmao

[–]Project_Zero_Betas11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do you have any romance novels in mind?

Is this a troll?

[–]acp_rdit-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

nah I don't read that crap but its as close to an instruction manual for escalation as you are going to get

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I have a similar issue what’s the best way to work on your personality and social skills? Any recommendations or advice? Anything will be greatly appreciated 👍🏼

[–]acp_rdit2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Smile and make eye contact. Talk to strangers. Gradually increase the length of your conversations. Always be positive and "happy" even if you don't feel like it. Don't complain, be negative, or put anyone down.

Learn to subtly observe your environment and conversation partner to pick up on interesting things to talk about. Express your observation and use your partners response as a jumping off point for more topics.

LARP as a spy. Your job is to find out everything you can about the person you are talking to for your agency, but without making them suspicious. Your cover story is your actual life.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I will definitely take your advice cheers bro 👍🏼

[–]horologist2018 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Virgin, never had a proper relationship but have made out with a lot of chicks in clubs

Okay, good start then.

I cant keep people hooked... People don't look forward to hanging out with me. I'm pretty much looksmaxxed and gym maxxed.

Good good.

Due to social conditioning I feel very nervous to escalate when I'm alone with someone

Lots of people do. Not just you.

I just saw my mild oneitis hang out with a guy.

And that's that.

She used to take interest in me before i dried out her pussy.

Glad you recognize why she lost interest.

It's not surprising but I do feel like there is something that needs to be done.

You say "something," I say "escalate"

When I'm nice, I'm the nice guy.

Nothing wrong with being nice, as long as you're not a chump about it.

When I'm the neutral, nobody really gets hooked,

Up those conversation skills.

they treat me like the neutral guy.

1- I'm not interesting but i want to be without faking it

Talk their ear off about literally anything. Give them far fetched opinions about things. Just to get a conversation going, I'll often say things during a date like "I think drunk driving should be legal," and then spend 10 minutes defending it, arguing.

2- want a healthy circle of friends who i can hang out with at least 3-4 times a week

That should be fairly simple. Go join some clubs.

3 - escalate without feeling nervous or without waiting for any obvious signs from her

This one is simple in theory, less simple in practice.

To escalate: Just escalate. You will feel nervous, and that's all there is to it.

You will frequently get no signs whatsoever from her. You want a sign? Make her give you a sign. And you make her give you this sign by escalating. Go in for the kiss, grab her pussy, whatever it is you do. If she stops you, there's your No sign. If she lays back and spreads her legs open, there's your obvious yes sign.

[–]Eartripping9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Top tier asktrp right here dawgs

[–]Red_Pill_Brotherhood82 points83 points  (4 children) | Copy

You need to get out there and fuck some women. Don't be hard on yourself and think poorly of yourself. Completely unproductive. From what it sounds like here, you need to work on being comfortable around women and social settings and learn how to converse and bullshit with people.

You have to stop feeling shame for kino and escalation- fuck the conditioning. Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover.

Also, if you are working on multiple women at once, you'll have more abundance and won't get oneitis nearly as bad, if at all.

[–]bbcbarbarossa 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

I start out positive but after a few negative or neutral encounters i always lose confidence. How can i keep going after getting neutral or unfavorable responses?

Thank you for your other tips. You're right about dealing with multiple chicks at once. I will read that book too.

[–]Blaze-Bless4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know this is broken record advice around here, but also read The Rational Male. I just finished reading No More Mr Nice Guy twice back to back and am halfway through round 1 on Rational Male and it's like fucking discovering plutonium bro, you can never un-know what you learn in these texts. The value of the information and paradigm-shattering truths in the books (and I'm sure there's equally as valuable other books necessary for this process) cannot be overstated. Goodluck brother

[–]Red_Pill_Brotherhood7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Each rejection is one chick closer to a success. Always remember that. Its a pure numbers game. I recommend approaching minimum 10 chicks a week(preferably 30+). Next! is the one of the most powerful words a man can have. If the approach isn't going well, you can walk from the situation. I've been blown out with women who think I'm a total creep(they'll either ignore, or give a one or two word response and bail into a shop along the sidewalk we are walking on) then hit it off with the next chick. Don't let rejection get to you. It is necessary and good. Its part of the game. Just be cool, say "have a nice night" and keep it moving.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb-4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol I’m in a tricky situation, any reason why I shouldn’t game an older women and her daughter at the same time if they don’t know?

Edit: also just downloaded that book for my free audible book. Thanks!

Edit why the downvotes you pussies empanada

[–]BigDickEnergy1239 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

You really need to work on your self confidence man, you are interesting and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

After that, you need to work on your abundance mentality. And not just with girls. First, build a dope life without girls. It's a lot of work, but then you won't be needing them nearly as much. They'll just want to tag along.

Don't be afraid of escalating, despite all the dating advice you've heard throughout your years (mostly from women) they WANT you to escalate. If you don't, they'll mentally label you a "pussy" in their mind. If you get rejected, it's no big deal, there's millions of attractive/cool women out there. You see them on the street all the time.

A man who doesn't take action for what he wants is not attractive to women. Start being more assertive.

[–]Zanford4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lift. Approach. Limit sugar, masturbation, porn, and screen time in general.

[–]cat_magnet3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

How old are you bro ?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy


Here is your problem.

You are suffering from extreme scarcity and desperation.

Bang some hoes (they don't need to be anything special). Get yourself in the game.

[–]teveza111 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are on the right track.

It's just about experience, after you have made out with a lot more chicks and even dried out a few more pussies, your tendency to catch one-itis should fade away

Aside from that, a good way not to get one-itis on any mildly attractive girl who takes interest in you, is to go after 20-30 girls at a time, when half a dozen or more attractive girls take interest in you, each one is less of a prize and you'll even find yourself forgetting about her or ignoring her because you don't have time.

I'd have to sit and think about the mildly attractive girls who are interested in me, and I'd forget a lot of them.

[–]RPEpictetus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. That book will teach you how to use basic seduction techniques, learn the different kinds of women you can seduce, and teach you how to adopt a specific seduction style. My personal favorite is The Ideal Lover. A lot of Red Pillers like to take all of the fun out of Seduction by leaning heavily on aloof Game, cocky-funny, and Amused Mastery, but true Seduction encompasses far more than the limited perspectives adopted by many on this board. There are many different forms of Game, and The Art of Seduction outlines many forms of Game that most men overlook which is why it is so valuable.

[–]DonJuan_691 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Im in the same shoes as you man.

[–]sagaray3041 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you're an adult making friends is a long term game. Everyone has jobs, families, hobbies and set friends.

Temper your expectations. Focus on yourself. You can't keep people hooked because there is nothing there for them to be hooked on. Have you run a marathon where your feet bled and you have scars to show for it? Have you achieved a personal best in that climb you were looking forward to? What stories do you have to tell? That time you were robbed at gun point while travelling in a third world country?

What are you interested in? Have you achieved anything of significance in that interest? You say you want to be interesting, then go do it. I joined a fox hunting society to get into the pants of an environmentalist at uni. Guess what? It worked. and now I have that to tell.

When was the last time you took a risk? the last time you failed hard?

In today's age, you do have it hard with girls. You aren't allowed to fail as much and when you do the consequences are severe. The amount of times I came off as a creep while I was figuring out how to get laid makes me shudder and thankful I lived in earlier times where they laughed it off rather than blow my whole life apart.

They treat you like a neutral guy, because guess what, you are the neutral guy! The only way to stop being that guy, is to put your life into 1st gear and head out into the world, knowing that you could get rammed off the road by a maniac. But guess what? It'll be a good story

[–]ZenOfFool1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe try not being nice for once.

[–]thechaosz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop believing romantic comedies and Disney shit.

It's all a fraud.

I've been with more taken than single women

[–]VigilantSmartbomb0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy

Shit I can talk game and work it that way but my cold calling game is a bit weak lmao how do you be makin out with so many girls in the club? Lmao

[–]dukes19981 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

You just go for it and usually they’re down, assuming you’ve read her vibes correctly.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

And if I didn’t read the vibes correctly? 😂

[–]dukes19980 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

She’ll make it clear she doesn’t want you to get physical and then you move on

[–]VigilantSmartbomb0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

So just get close, light kino, if I’m feelin a vibe go in for a kiss? And if she ain’t bout it she’ll make it obvious?

[–]dukes19980 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah it’ll be very obvious. If she’s letting you touch her and get close odds are she’s down with it.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m literally slow lmao like duhhh 🤦🏽‍♂️🤦🏽‍♂️🤦🏽‍♂️😂

Goshhh good look bro lmao

[–]bbcbarbarossa 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

I don't say shit. Eye contact and posture. It's pretty evident that i lift and I wear half decent clothes. Face should be around a 7. So i can get some of that without opening my mouth.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Nice bro nice! So you just go in for a kiss and hope it ends well? Lmao

[–]bbcbarbarossa 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah well a little bit of dancing here and there or sometimes a brief introduction.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Gotcha gotcha but once ur near her and have warmed up to each other you just go for it? Lol

I’m tying to think back to the last time I was at the bar and this chick was really coming on to me but idk how I would have initiated more while playing pool, then she went back and sat with another dude who she looked bored with lol

Gah I just need to get out more I guess lol

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

never had a proper relationship but have made out with a lot of chicks in clubs

Just... how lol. If you've done this you don't have a problem escalating, you must be fucking up big time

  1. You get activities you're passionate about. Forget about girls. Then when you have free time or wanna do something fun you ask a girl to join you. Bringing them to parties is the best but I don't usually like em (sounds different than you, this should actually be your go to)

  2. Eh, unless they're cool guys who will have your back and teach you the ropes, screw them.

  3. Keep doing what you're doing, bring them back to your or their place and it should happen on their own. If you kiss you're literally already almost there

[–]nobody_thinks0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

take your focus off women and off of being fun and popular and interesting. Find something within you of value that you can pursue. make that your center.

the rest is just neediness. you also sound young. I would stay out of the clubs and lower your standards until you get more confidence i.e. get your life together more.

When I'm nice, I'm the nice guy. When I'm neutral,

try not being nice. it is social repellent.

[–]BurnoutRS0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stop wanting to be interesting. Do interesting things and you will become interesting. if you only focus on being interesting, that will manifest in the behaviour of you flitting from thing to thing as soon as you lose interest or dont see results.

This is exaclty what children do when they go through that "testing my identity phase" as they enter adolesence. They want to be cool, they want to have an interesting persona, they want social success. so one week they beg their parents to buy a guitar, theyre going to be a rockstar! the next week its skateboarding.

You need go go beyond the superficial and actually develop substance

[–]superbat330 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

1- you’re not interesting because you don’t talk about things you’re interested about. Trust me- it doesn’t matter what you are interested in as long as you OWN IT and say it with enthusiasm and not saying it timidly

2- as cliche as it is - you have to have a “purpose” aka a thing you’re trying to achieve that’s going to make you your version of Superman, your best version of yourself. The community says for the longest time to lift, and I’ve finally been doing that its like everyday I’m so busy and going to the gym is such a priority daily- and seeing the results is fucking awesome. But anyway what I mean is having a goal- and making that the oneitis of your life. Girls are there on the side.

[–]entrep40 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wish I had your problem in the title tbh. I get good attractive girls who fall for me and I don't feel much at all. It's boring as hell. I want to feel something strong again like when I was younger

[–]uptimex0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'd start from nofap, there is a huge community if you search. It will give you some tengible amount of confidence very quickly.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go in with the mindset “well I could always watch porn after” — if that doesn’t work “well I could always watch girls not attractive than her in porn” if I’m in a dry spell or not feeling very red pilled that’s helped from time to time.

Although don’t actually go watch it.

[–]andyturbo2000 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

“When I’m nice, I’m the nice guy”.

Don’t be the nice guy. Women say they want the nice guy, but watch what they do, not what they say. Women go for the bad guy.

In the UK we have a saying “treat them mean, keep them keen”. Honestly, just for my own amusement I tried this to the extreme with one girl and she just wanted it more.

[–]bbcbarbarossa 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

That's not the point man. I get even lesser results when I'm neutral. That's what i was saying.

So I feel like I don't know how to be neutral in a desirable way.

[–]andyturbo2000 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Can you turn neutral into a carefree DNGAF attitude and assess results?

[–]dukes19980 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is wrong. Being confuse being nice with being a doormat. Women don’t want a doormat, but they do want a guy that treats them well and respectfully (outside the bedroom that is).

But I would agree being a bit of a douchebag at first when you meet a girl is important. I guess I neg too without knowing it because my current gf told me the other day “Yeah I thought you were kind of a douche but it turned me on you’d say things that like challenged me and I’d want to prove you wrong (referring to when I’d say she was a good girl who probably didn’t know what she was doing in bed for example)”.

[–]X--Man 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Cool story. What was your question for advice or what did you need clarification on?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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