666,886 posts

FR: She tried to bring the starfish back

by ChokingDownRP | July 06, 2019 | askMRP

21 upvotes

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I've been at it since January 2018. I'm as happy as I've ever been with my life, my marriage, my family. I never expected following MRP to turn things around the way it has. My wife has submitted to me by most any measure (besides anal). She initiates regularly and I haven't gotten a hard no in probably 6 months. Having sex about 3 times/week. The starfish is long dead...or so I thought...

Once, the night before I was leaving for a business trip, I turned her down when she offered the starfish. I just told her that I don't have sex with women who don't want to have sex with me. The thought of sending me off fully loaded must've sent her hamster into overdrive, because when I got home there was a different woman inside my wife's body. That was the last time she offered anything less than enthusiastic sex.

This week, my parents were visiting. Having free babysitting one night, wife and I went out - we had fun - live music, walked and laid on the beach, had drinks and really enjoyed each other's company. We were all over each other like we were kids. Once home, we made our way to bed, where I initiated. She stopped at one point and said "I don't feel comfortable fucking with your parents across the hall." Figuring it was basic ASD or LMR that I typically just swat away, I just carried on and said nothing. I started fingering her, she seemed in to it until she jumped out of bed like she was angry, went to the bathroom, came back with her pants off and said "alright, if you have to I'll let you, but make it fast and be quiet." Aka, she offered the starfish.

Drunk and completely caught off guard by this, I froze like a noob, before saying "I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do, but I'm not concerned at all with the possibility of anyone hearing something in my house." She said "you know that I want it, I just can't enjoy it with them here." I knew it was over the minute I engaged in this discussion. I lost the game, and didn't want to continue playing. My dick went soft and since there's no point engaging, I decided to cut my losses and get some sleep. I just kissed her on the head, told her I love her and went to sleep.

I reset the next day, at one point, I pressed against her from behind while she was doing laundry, grabbed her neck and kissed her. Smacked her ass & started to walk away and she said "mmmm, I may have to rethink my no sex with visitors in the house rule" I just laughed and carried on with what I was doing. That night, she initiated, nice bj, great sex. She had zero reservations about our house guests and made no effort to keep quiet

Two reasons for my post: 1. Reminder to everyone getting results - stay sharp, I thought the starfish was dead, so I wasn't ready when it reared its ugly head again. This was a good reminder of why my foot needs to stay on the gas.

  1. Any advice on what I could've done differently? She obviously didn't have a real concern about our guests. It wasn't a hard no, but offering me starfish is the same as a no in my book - I won't accept it. I know some would recommend accepting the starfish, then caveman her, but I want nothing to do with a woman that doesn't very clearly want to fuck me.

Post Information
Title FR: She tried to bring the starfish back
Author ChokingDownRP
Upvotes 21
Comments 48
Date 06 July 2019 07:21 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/244666
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/c9xhlt/fr_she_tried_to_bring_the_starfish_back/
Similar Posts

TRP terms found in post
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  • hard no
  • anti-slut defense
  • hamster
  • last minute resistance
  • ons
  • 1 more...
Comments

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret27 points28 points  (14 children) | Copy

So much thought.

Not everyone can fuck with their parents in law across the hall.

Don't keep eating paint. It's not good for you

[–]RStonePT6 points7 points  (11 children) | Copy

I can and did.

Just throw a sock in her mouth

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 8 points9 points  (7 children) | Copy

I didn't say it to her, but the reality is that we used to fuck in her parents house right next to their room. The craziest, drunkest sex we've ever had happened in that room the first time I met her parents. I was 22 at the time, and I'm 41 now. We've fucked in other relatives homes, friends houses, a fucking hotel room we shared with other people... She's never given a single fuck until this, that's why I'm confused.

[–]RStonePT7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy

As a general rule, it's not important until you treat it as important. She felt like it was true at the time, for what reason? who the fuck knows, chicks think up all kinds of dumb shit.

Question is, she's already forgotten about it while you're mulling it over, why?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Exactly. You should chalk it up as BBC. Not big black cock but bitches be crazy.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

BBC will always be big black cock.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe in your mind and in Pornhub categories.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah, you're right, it doesn't fucking matter.

[–]Cam_Winston212 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Want me to hurry? Cool! Okay, on all fours, doggie always makes me blow my load. Arch your back so that your ass is high & gives me a good target for my cum shot."

A quickie/chore just became something sexy. Remove the butt hurt, turn it to your advantage.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe your breath stunk?

Fuck you guys are such validation needing pussy faggots.

OMG I dont have sex for one night. Better make a fucking post about it. So I can tell everyone how butthurt I am and update my fucking spreadsheet.

This whole post and most of the reply’s are of men who need sex to validate their worth.

Guess what. It doesn’t.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

So you're going with hiding ?

And why sock? She didn't buy you a gag?

😅

[–]RStonePT2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

How am I supposed to fuck when you're busting my balls like this?

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I believe in ya man 👊💪💯

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I probably am over thinking it. I credit much of my progress to being thoughtful and deliberate in my actions, so when something happens that I'm not sure about, I think it's worth asking for the MRPs collective wisdom.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Being a bitch is not her default setting.

Not everything is a shit test.

Sometimes it's only a shit test when you make it one

[–]rocknrollchuck12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

Once home, we made our way to bed, where I initiated. She stopped at one point and said "I don't feel comfortable fucking with your parents across the hall."

This would have been a great opportunity to sneak downstairs to the laundry room, the garage, the car, the backyard, etc. like a teenager to enjoy the challenge of doing it without getting caught.

She's being respectful of the guests - your parents. This is admirable and a good character trait. I wouldn't worry about it. She's used to the two of you being the only adults in the house.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yep, this is the angle I was missing. Next time she's getting fucked outside on the trampoline.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's the spirit!!! Great post BTW. Same thing happens with me too. I'm taking this advice, don't leave it as a yes/no situation. Find an alternative.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

My parents just watch TV loud. They know we are 100% going to fuck every night regardless of where we are or who is at our house.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Abundance mentality at all times

[–]simbarlionRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

She tried to bring the starfish back

I'd say her good girl overcame her bad girl temporarily. And she self corrected = good outcome.

Some times you just have to let the hamster think for a while before it finds its way through the maze.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's what I think too, but wanted to get others' thoughts to be sure I'm not missing anything else.

The old adage that women make rules for betas and break rules for alphas ran through my mind when I thought about the initial interaction.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I actually think it is a good thing. The girl has morals.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Covert contract in big capital letters.

fucking with your parents across the hall.

so walk her to the garage.. jesus.

you're too far along too be this lazy and retarded in understanding the situation. you took your ball and went home instead.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

I recommend meds to get your OCD under control. You just wasted 5 minutes of my life reading your overthinking

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Fair enough. Just trying to stay sharp. I've admittedly slacked a bit in reading in recent months. This event struck me as odd, so I've definitely given several fucks thinking about what I could've done differently.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nothing that I can see

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

Any advice on what I could've done differently?

Kick your parents out of the house next time?

Seems like a pretty legit concern to me.

[–]stoicstephen7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yup, this wasn't her trying to bring starfish back.

This was her being a normal human (with normal concerns) more than a horny woman.

The next night it was the opposite.

Besides that you did everything well OP (I don't count that drunk DEER).

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's sad, but you are right. I would say though that this is normal American behavior. But really, what's so normal about being ashamed that your parents know you are having sex with your husband. The real shame of the situation is that folks can't be more comfortable with their sexuality..... And that SJW's attack forums like this where we try to improve ourselves and openly discuss relationship problems.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I also thought it was a legit concern she had until she pulled a 180 the next night. Parents had their door closed, tv on and dad snoring. House is solid, very rarely hear anything from another room.

Just trying to make sure I'm not rusty and missing a bigger issue.

[–]stoicstephen8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

The isse you are missing is that you are giving a huge fuck about this.

You are still too much emotional invested in the sex you get from your wife. The more you invest in that, the less you invest in your true purpose and mission, and if you don't stop it right now, your purpose and mission will be all about sex and your wife. And as we know that is a sure fire way into oneitis highway.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is probably partially true. I definitely have a sense of contentment recently, things have gone well, and this just seemed an unusual situation considering she's always eager to please recently.

[–]RP_PO0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

My wife offers duty BJs all the time. But now her clitoromegaly is getting out of hand and I gag every time.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ok, I had to Google "clitoromegaly"... I'm sure you'll grow to enjoy it once your gag reflex gets under control.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

“Any advice on what I could've done differently?”

You want to bat 1000? Best hitters of all time only hit the ball 3 out of 10 times. Fucking 3 times a week dude, shut the fuck up.

Life is managed, not ever cured.

Stop over thinking this stuff. Leaving for your Business trip, you should have gone caveman on her. She wants to act like a whore, then treat her like one.

Fucking with parents in other room, should have played along and held her mouth shut as you fucked her telling her to shut the fuck up because I know you want to scream. Totally acting like y’all were teenagers fucking in the other room. She would have played along with the role play.

Too much talking with her. Shut up. Don’t engage the hamster.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

A little background - I used to get 2-3x/mo and almost all of it was duty sex unless we were wasted, then we would really fuck. A large chunk of the sex we used to have was transactional - I'd massage for a blowjob or do choreplay for sex. It was important that I kill all of the bullshit - negotiated desire, choreplay, massages, concert contracts, etc.

As for the business trip, that was probably close to a year ago, and that was the first time I ever said no to anything sexual with her. I firmly believe I did the right thing by turning down the starfish. I can't say enough about the change that took place in our sex life following that trip. It demonstrated that I had some kind of frame and that the status quo wasn't good enough anymore.

Hand over mouth would've been a good play here!!

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

How exactly do you “turn down” starfish?

What does she do - overtly communicate that she is going to lay there like a dead roach before you undress her?

When is the last time you have hate fucked this woman?

Next time she is laying there flip her ass over and fuck her from behind so hard your abs start to get a pump.

Its what I did to my cunt wife at the end.

Hate fucked Mandy a few times to.

Show her what its like.

[–]youcantdenythat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Drunk and completely caught off guard by this, I froze like a noob, before saying "I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do, but I'm not concerned at all with the possibility of anyone hearing something in my house."

oops, DEERed

I knew it was over the minute I engaged in this discussion. I lost the game, and didn't want to continue playing.

Sounds like you already know where you fucked up and entered her frame. Sure, you've got legit excuses, drinking, etc, but they are still excuses.

Good FR

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t think one incidence shows it’s back. There are big factors that can influence her - your parents hanging around is likely one. If there’s repeated denials / starfish over the course of 1-2 weeks than that’s a different story.

[–]diceblue0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Don't want to make a separate post for a stupid fuck question, but where do I find the full list of dread levels? I have searched both this and MRP as well as google and the wiki and can't find the list.

[–]that_italia_guy0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I started fingering her, she seemed in to it until she jumped out of bed like she was angry, went to the bathroom, came back with her pants off and said "alright, if you have to I'll let you, but make it fast and be quiet." Aka, she offered the starfish.

Here is my insight on this. And why I think you fucked up and read it the wrong way. Lot of times girls just gotta pee, or they're just checking their pussy out in the washroom beforehand. When she got back she's nervous and doesn't know what to do or say around you. Instead of taking it as if she gives u starfish. I just would have said get in the bed now I wanna fuck you....when she gets in...go back to fingering her. And when she started moaning and her Pussy gets wet. You cover her mouth with your hand, Whisper into her ear and say I'll fuck you how I want, however long I want, I'm your husband, do you understand? Then s shove your fingers in before she can answer. This is where she has to agree/submit to you. If she just moans and doesn't respond yes or nod or acknowledge you, you have to be stern and mean that question. If she doesn't respond, I would be like I didn't here you, or make it simpler for her, if your good they'll just be in that pleasure drunk. In which case I'd change it up and say and tell her to repeat after me, okay. If she plays ball and says okay at this point. I'd break up that initial phrase. Your my husband, you'll fuck me, the way you want to fuck me. You get the idea, u just gotta remember shell be repeating it so you have to reword it to her perspective. And do it slow and simple. That'll really set the tone for how you fuck and how she will start thinking about it throughout the day

[–]0io-Tsundere0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, agree with you completely. It's not wife offering starfish it's husband's chance to engage in a little dirty talk and accuse the wife of being kinky.

[–]mrpthrowa0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

"alright, if you have to I'll let you, but make it fast and be quiet."

The nerve for a woman to say this to her man after he treats her well for the night... At some point you just got to respect yourself enough to next when this sort of behaviour surfaces.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The nerve for a woman to say this to her man after he treats her well for the night... At some point you just got to respect yourself enough to next when this sort of behaviour surfaces.

I hope this is sarcasm.

[–]JameisBong0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The game never ends i guess.fuck man this is hard,but worth it in the end.

[–]0io-Tsundere0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When you go to the bathroom with her to do it "fast and quiet", be a little noisy and tell her she's a slut who wants her parents to find out. She'll be fake-upset about it but it will make her wet. Don't say it too loud or too seriously. Just say it while you're fucking her doggy style with her hands on the door.

I don't think your wife is giving you starfish or being weird. It's pretty normal chick behavior to be worried about having sex with her parents in the next room, but you have to treat it like a shit-test. Say something DNGAF like "It's so much hotter with your parents in the next room." She'll probably punch you in the arm and say you're terrible and a selfish asshole but it will still win you more respect in the long run.

You want to be the opposite of "I would never dare to touch fair lady when her parents are in town, that would be disrespectful of me."

[–]FlyingSexistPig-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Any advice on what I could've done differently"

Yes: Don't come here looking for validation when you already have things well in hand.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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