I don't usually date guys like you

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July 9, 2019

Hey guys,

Quick question here. I have noticed recently that over my long dating career (I'm 30+), several girls have said to me "You are not the type of guy I usually go for" or variation of this. The number of occurrences makes me wonder what it actually means.

Does that mean I can reach girls with higher SMV than me just because I'm good at banter, and that they realize i'm below their SMV and hamster it afterward, or is it a way for girls to justify the fact I've banged them in the first 3 hours of our meeting (humble brag here) ?

Thanks for your insight.

Post Information
Title I don't usually date guys like you
Author ComplexProjection
Upvotes 84
Comments 55
Date 09 July 2019 12:39 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/244940
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/cb0c31/i_dont_usually_date_guys_like_you/
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hamstersexual market value

[–]sebbegerbert64 points65 points  (28 children) | Copy

Think it means in their eyes you are a bit of a bad boy/stalion. They mean they usually go for guys that are a more exclusive with them.

Just a way to deflect the fact that they likes a guy that show them he got options.

[–]2ComplexProjection[S] 4 points5 points  (27 children) | Copy

Thank you for your answer. If you are right, it is more positive than what I was expecting, so I guess I'll keep doing what I do. Let's see what others think about it. ;)

[–]EnemyAsmodeus0 points1 point  (26 children) | Copy

If you're having sex within the first 3 hours, she's either a dirty drugged up slut, or anything you say actually doesn't matter at all. Just say gobbledygook and she will giggle.

I've dated major sluts who take days longer than that.

[–]2ComplexProjection[S] 2 points3 points  (25 children) | Copy

Well I'm talking here mainly about tinder chicks. Most of them fuck on the first date.

[–]Ohboohoolittlegirl148 points149 points  (3 children) | Copy

She sees you as a player and she loves it, but she needs plausable deniability

[–]red_philosopher20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. I misunderstood the first time I got called a player by a girl. Had I known better I would have taken her home right then.

[–]_Ulan_28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. She knows you're bad, by she doesn't want you to know she did all the bad guys.

[–]the13thmonk2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]TheRealEyesWideOpen59 points60 points  (15 children) | Copy

They are trying to artificially increase their own SMV by indicating they are “special” because they don’t usually date guys like you. They are trying to add some pressure to the situation.

It’s also a shit test to get you to respond in a panicked manner and gauge your interest level.

My response is usually - “well that’s unfortunate “ and I get up to leave. Nice to flip the shit test and watch them panic and get you to sit back down.

[–]2ComplexProjection[S] 31 points32 points  (14 children) | Copy

Thanks for answering me :) If you are right, that's good for me. I usually answer "and I don't usually go for sluts, but here we are", which often leads to sex.

[–]red__Man9 points10 points  (11 children) | Copy

isn't this a direct insult? Yes you should tease but not to this level

[–]the_Milkweed6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I prefer to ask them how thats been working for them so far

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hilarious. Keep it up.

[–]CainPrice28 points29 points  (5 children) | Copy

That's the same thing as "I never do this on the first date."

The thing to remember with women is that in her head, she's not lying to you. In her head, the way she pictures herself, all of the other assholes she's dated and fucked are completely different than you, and all of the things she did with you, and with them, on the first date are completely different. She literally believes, despite a history of dating guys exactly like you, that she doesn't usually date guys like you. She literally believes that she is the person she pictures in her head and not he person that she actually is.

Don't pop her balloon. Let her keep the fantasy.

[–]ZealousFeet10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

So in other words, she's disassociating from her promiscuity as a form of ASD. May be over thinking this, but isn't that what the military does to soldiers, helping them disassociate from killing someone?

"I don't usually do this." Vs "He was just a target."

Keeps them sane to mask guilt and other painful emotions.

[–]CainPrice7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Right. It's pretty similar now that I think about it.

Women act in the moment, but a month later literally don't remember the sex or the guy. If they sit down and really strain their brains thinking about it, they kinda remember that it happened, but don't remember a lot of details about the guy or the sexual encounter in general.

When a woman can't tell you her sex history, she's not always trying to hide it from you. She literally doesn't know how many guys or in what context. Down the line, something might jog her memory, like "Oh yeah! I hooked up with a guy who did that once!", but when thinking back in a more general and less specific sense and wondering how many casual guys she's fucked, she literally didn't remember that time at all. Or many other times. She doesn't remember specific guys or specific nights or sex acts. She's numb to it. She just fucks when she's in the mood and has no idea what she's done with who.

In her mind, she's the non-slutty person she pictures and literally believes it hasn't been that many guys.

[–]ZealousFeet0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I can see why this would subconsciously help a woman down the line, if they're really insecure about themselves. They see themselves as sluts, whereas a guy sees himself as a success, who would be an anomaly to most who're not in the top 20%.

Thanks for the insight.

[–]EnemyAsmodeus1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

No the military breaks you down and then builds you up so that you fight with emotional backing and strength without doubting yourself.

Imperial Japanese State Shinto and Buddhist blending (later evolving to Kamikazes)... The Nazi cult training (all started initially as attempts to improve the fighting strength of Prussian soldiers)... The Soviet Apparatchik communist training and still today's Russian military cult training... The Islamist Qutbist terrorist training... These are the ideologies that train "disassociation" so that you are free from moral compass or guilt. You are not actually murdering someone, your body is, and it is a tool of the state. Thereby they don't feel like the evil psychopaths they are.

Typically such groups will do things that make their soldiers seem like they have supernatural powers... Mystical potions in Africa from doing horrific atrocities... Rituals of the Japanese before battle, suicidal charges, self-sacrifice seppuku for failure... Spetsnaz and their absurd flips and acrobatics... same with AQ/ISIS and their insane show off training videos and ruthless brutality...

[–]ZealousFeet0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, I oversimplified a bit, but the gist was that both group found a way become comfortable with their actions be it a ritualistic endeavor or simply hamstering that one is not a monster/slut.

A fruitful contribution you've given nonetheless. Thanks.

[–]the13thmonk7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

for the same reason you get " i don't usually do this on the first date "

[–]WIA20XX14 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy

Your view that it is positive or negative is false. You take what these bitches say too seriously.

She may be honest, she may be fucking with you, but she's still an adult with a painted face too insecure about everything in her life. She's probably pushing away the best thing in her life.

Think like a god damned player.

It is a shit test opportunity. Pick your favorite response and hammer the chick with it.

"Of course you don't. I get it, you been fucking with losers all your life, you don't even know how to talk to a winner."

That should provoke the fuck out of her, and she'll either accept your wisdom, or defend her choices. She's in reaction to you. Either way you beat the shit test.

Red Pill circles de facto teach lack of emotion and avoidance of conflict - so you'll never learn how full of shit these girls are because you'll never even think about it. I'm saying using you brain.

[–]2ComplexProjection[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Thank you for your strong answer ;)

As said elsewhere in this thread, I usually just answer with "and I don't usually date sluts", so I don't think I take it too seriously.

I was wondering why several girls have said the exact same thing to me.

[–]WIA20XX0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I prefer to focus on her choices not her essence. Because they're all sluts and Virgin Mary at the same time.

But that reaction could mean anything.

You care about what she does, not what she says. Elsewise you end up in logic traps, trying to analyze words not behavior.

[–]2ComplexProjection[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, I'm a rational animal, I can't observe several times the same event without trying to understand it :)

[–]okuli5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Anti slut defense. They all say: "I don't usually do that".

[–]Krebota4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women don't know what they want, untill they have it. Sometimes it goes beyond their weird standards for whatever reason and they have to deny it for themselves because they love it.

[–]BurningOrangeHeaven4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most likely imo - she doesnt even know what "type" of guys she goes for, your just a little different from her imaginary type.

[–]redpilllogin5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Every single girl I've dated has told me this bullshit. Women only think they have a type because of societal programing.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That means you have good game.

In other words, you don't fit the physical/cultural profile of guys she usually goes for, and is surprised by her unexpected attraction to you.

RSD Owen talked about this one time, when he's far into an interaction with a hottie, she'll sometimes have this wtf moment where she verbalizes, "who are you? I usually go for hot guys!" That's her subconscious attraction noticing that you don't fit her pattern.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've had that happen but i've also had the opposite where they say I AM the type of guy they usually date inspite of the fact that I know for a fact that it's not true based on looking at their previous BF's.

girls just talk a lot of shit lol

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

(In a playful voice) "I'm not 100% sure about you either".

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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