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Time to get shafted by askMRP, but I want some input.

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July 13, 2019
13 upvotes

Together 6 years, married 6 months. 24m and 23f Just started TRP after following dead bedroom and glancing at mgtow. Didn't find what sounded right in either.

Gym 3 times a week, doing SL 5x5, not sure what my max lifts are. Navy method says 19%BF. 6'3" 185 lbs.

Read NMMMG, reading WISNIFG

So, I was, and still act like/am a blue pilled simp most of the time. My wife holds the keys to our relationship, and shit if it feels like shit. I have no frame, no idea wtf I am doing, and the only skill I thought I had was STFU until today.

Im not an emotional person. Im not bound to outbursts or anger. I spent my entire childhood being told that men don't feel or show emotion by both parents. Kinda fucked me up. My wife repeats this. If I disagree with her, I'm yelling. If I get angry, she treats me like im going to beat her. I've never laid a hand on her or even shown a violent impulse in 6 years. Violence makes no sense to me in most cases, except as a response to violence.

I tend to have to think out my answers, my motto for a long time was "it's better to say nothing than say something stupid." Now I think that was just an excuse for being indecisive.

My wife, I can tell, is looking for leadership but fighting me every step of the way when I try to show it. Questions that she asks, but wants me to answer her way, advice on her relationships, questions about our future. I've always deferred to her on this shit. In my mind it was because I didn't care. Now I know it is because I thought my wants were less important than hers. "Happy wife happy life" was uttered more times in the last 6 months than anything else I was told. All I could think was "am I just not important?" Well. No. Im not. No one gives a fuck about me. Not our parents, not her, not my boss. If I want someone to give a fuck about me. It's gotta be me.

And that's where I am. Smashing through the sidebar but finding myself to balless to apply it. Trying to get through the idea that IT WON'T GET BETTER IF I DON'T.

Today, I passed(I think) the first shit test I've ever passed. Could have failed. I did get pissed for once and she pouted. Girl lives to pick at my skin blemishes. I told her no. She did it again. I raised my voice again and told her to go fuck off. She started pouting and I STFU and went back to what I was doing. For the first time, I didn't DEER when I got angry. I HAVE A GOD DAMNED RIGHT TO BE ANGRY that's my new mantra. I have the right to feel how I feel and not fucking apologize like the pussy I am.

And man has this been a struggle against DEERing, and with a ton of comfort tests. "What if you get hotter than me and leave me for some skinny gym chick." My response "guess you have to try harder" with a grin. Then I get called to cocky and an asshole. "Okay" and STFU. Keep to my routine. Gym. Work. Research. Improvement. When she goes to bed, hobbies. Music, video games, computer programming. It's annoying, but fuck the girl never sits down. And if she's doing shit, I have to, or im a lazy shit bag and that's unattractive. But man, it sucks. Up at 6, don't sit down till 8. Actually, it's a bit empowering. Just... boring.

As for her... she works 8 a day, cooks, cleans, is super affectionate, validates me without my asking or looking at all. Wants non-sexual intimacy. Even the frequency of sex is decent. 2-3 times a week, mostly her initiating. Truth is, IAHBNFH. She doesn't put work into her appearance, doesn't try to be sexy, and hates when I mention wearing X, or trying Y.

I came to MRP for the self improvement. Im working on it. It's too soon to tell if im just fucking it all up.

I came to askMRP to see what nasty foot up my ass you guys could give, and see if there is anything you guys pick up on that I am missing that might point me in a better direction.


Post Information
Title Time to get shafted by askMRP, but I want some input.
Author CrazyLemonLover
Upvotes 13
Comments 18
Date 13 July 2019 11:55 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/245395
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/ccwbau/time_to_get_shafted_by_askmrp_but_i_want_some/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
simpleadershipWISNIFGDEERframeshit testcomfort testthe red pillMGTOW
Comments

[–]IncitingDramah27 points28 points  (5 children) | Copy

Welcome.

Put your big girl panties on, and let's get started...

Gym 3 times a week, doing SL 5x5, not sure what my max lifts are. Navy method says 19%BF. 6'3" 185 lbs.

Right out the gate, wtf is this? I suggest you hit the gym more. You post conveyed to me you're a pussy, so combat your feminine self and lack of confidence with lifting. Go more, you'll likely find yourself enjoying the space, and giving her more time to miss you. Also, keep track of your lifts or your faggot mentality will prevent you from pushing forward.

I spent my entire childhood being told that men don't feel or show emotion by both parents. Kinda fucked me up.

An excuse, and misunderstanding. Men do show emotions, but women dont want them. You want a wife, a lover? Or do you want someone disgusted at you for having to be your mommy? You got problems, emotional turbulence? STFU and talk to your MALE FRIENDS.

If I disagree with her, I'm yelling. If I get angry, she treats me like im going to beat her.

Shit test, shit test. Obviously failing them.

I tend to have to think out my answers, my motto for a long time was "it's better to say nothing than say something stupid." Now I think that was just an excuse for being indecisive.

You think? Might be on to something...

My wife, I can tell, is looking for leadership but fighting me every step of the way when I try to show it

Because you're fucking awful at it. You've shown her this whole damn time you're incompetent at leadership, why the FUCK would she hand over the reins?

I was told. All I could think was "am I just not important?" Well. No. Im not. No one gives a fuck about me.

Welcome to being a man. Stop seeking validation from outside yourself.

Today, I passed(I think) the first shit test I've ever passed. Could have failed. I did get pissed for once and she pouted

You failed. You got pissed.... let's find out exactly where together.

Girl lives to pick at my skin blemishes. I told her no. She did it again. I raised my voice again and told her to go fuck off.

Here you're not passing shit. What you're actually doing is giving off frustrated beta vibes. You were not fun, you did not agree and amplify, in fact... you were simply a frustrated irritating twat. You failed this test.

I HAVE A GOD DAMNED RIGHT TO BE ANGRY

You're a faggot. An emotional little faggot. You let her fuck your frame up.

Gym. Work. Research. Improvement. When she goes to bed, hobbies. Music, video games, computer programming. It's annoying, but fuck the girl never sits down. And if she's doing shit, I have to, or im a lazy shit bag and that's unattractive. But man, it sucks. Up at 6, don't sit down till 8.

Heres an example of why your a faggot. You're living in her frame. Do you do anything for yourself, by yourself, or from yourself? You're obviously not your own mental point of origin. Learn to not give a fuck man. SO MANY FUCKS GIVEN, I'm going to take some and hand them out to my own wife... jesus. At least you're making some effort to be conscious of what might be attractive, but you're managed to fuck that up too.

validates me without my asking or looking at all.

LOL!

Even the frequency of sex is decent. 2-3 times a week, mostly her initiating.

Does it feel good when she holds you down and fucks you too? Really my dude...

She doesn't put work into her appearance, doesn't try to be sexy, and hates when I mention wearing X, or trying Y.

Why would she? You've proven nothing. You're failing tests, shes initiating sex, being masculine. You need to really read the side bar man. I dont think you understand anything so far.

All in all, you sound frustrated, weak, and lost. You decided to marry this woman, she is your greatest creation. You want it to work, then embrace that life as a masculine man in the 21 century sucks, and learn to fucking live in the suck. Go hit the gym harder, lift heavy. Stfu, stop being an emotional faggot. And for the love of God pass some fucking shit tests dude.

[–]CrazyLemonLover8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is... enlightening. Well fuck me. I guess I asked to be chewed up and spit out. Turns out I knew shit about this whole RP thing.

Definitely taking the advice about the gym. And pretty much everything else.

Also, turns out I had no idea what passing a shit test meant, so that's an eye opener.

And yeah. This was a bit victim pukey. So you called my shit on that one.

[–]RoccoPinkman9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah your acting like a real pussy. Try this. If something is worth complaining about get off your lazy faggot ass and do something about it, if it’s not then STFU about it and stop whining. I used to be a whiney little bitch like this until I realised the only person responsible for all my problems was me.

[–]RoccoPinkman5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was told. All I could think was "am I just not important?" Well. No. Im not. No one gives a fuck about me.

Welcome to being a man. Stop seeking validation from outside yourself.

This. NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU. Welcome to the real world.

[–]Cmvplease20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is why I love this community

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

I believe your situation, despite you being a huge pussy, isn't as bleak as most here and you can turn this around.

It will take at least a year. You've been a huge pussy for 6 years, but in my opinion you've got awesome decent skills at STFU. You'll need to learn from the sidebar many other methods - but at least you're not an entirely autistic spergy faggot.

Three things you can work on now: Lift heavy, starting today. Read the sidebar, buy at least the first 3 books today. Praise your wife ONLY when she does something you like

Why praise? She is doing a lot of shit that alot of men here at MRP wish they had and that you enjoy: cooking, cleaning, and fucking. She probably likes you too - but doesn't put in enough effort to really please you (appearance) because you aren't attractive yourself and are a STFU sperg.

The feminine grows through praise. If you want more of a type of behavior you have to praise it. She fat? You dont say "get in the gym". Instead the next time she does work out or wears something you like... "that dress/shirt/panties you're wearing makes your ass look great."

Get into OYS on tuesday

Welcome, faggot. Be glad you found this place

[–]Onein1024th0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The feminine grows through praise. If you want more of a type of behavior you have to praise it. She fat? You dont say "get in the gym". Instead the next time she does work out or wears something you like... "that dress/shirt/panties you're wearing makes your ass look great."

thanks for the reminder to double down on positive reinforcement

[–]egc66 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get all your mental shit in order and post in the OYS next week (Tuesday). You got a decent answer to your victim puke already. Look through the current week's OYS and get an idea of what OYS is and see how others are doing it. I'm never sure how guys end up finding askMRP without stumbling on the weekly OYS sticky on MRP first. Here is another sticky you may have missed somehow. Fucking read it all.

[–]SepeanRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

My wife, I can tell, is looking for leadership but fighting me every step of the way when I try to show it.

She’ll fight you on every inch of your journey. Get used to it, treat it like what it is: shit tests. She tests your frame to make sure it is the real deal and not some weak poser BS.

Read this to get a better idea of what shit tests are and how they should be handled https://illimitablemen.com/2014/12/14/the-shit-test-encyclopedia/ it is not a substitute for the sidebar, of course read that too.

That’s what you need to do right now, read and begin implementing. The books, wiki and links and sidebar and the top posts on r/marriedredpill give better and more comprehensive insight than anyone can and will type out for you now. Once you’ve educated yourself and put it into practice, that’s when you can get good guidance here. But right now, you just need to learn and do the basic stuff, and the sidebar does that best.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Welcome to the party kid. Your skinny fat, you need to deal with that first. that, in and of itself is a journey.

Get audio versions of the sidebar books, all 3 of rolos books have audio versions, and listen to them on an exercise bike.

Then myfitnesspal, and start tracking your food.

Diet, and lifting.

Like wax on, wax off of MRP.

Your probably to young for that.

Stick around.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You were probably shamed as a kid whenever you had a tantrum or showed any kind of emotion. It sucks if you didn't go through that developmental stages but that is in the past, right now you are working on the future.

You seem to think anger is the only emotion. It is but one of many, don't be scared of how you feel in a certain situation, embrace it, own it, but don't let it CONTROL you.

You make no mention of it, but are your parents very religious? You have that 'tow the line or burn in hell' kind of vibe I see with some people ie. You are always waiting for approval from them.

[–]AristideSaccard3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You said you came to askMRP for self-improvement, all I can read is you complaining.

[–]Onein1024th1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

My response "guess you have to try harder" with a grin. Then I get called to cocky and an asshole.

if you can't tell. This is a GOOD SIGN. Revel in how many times you get called an asshole.

[–]SoggyTrainCucked by machines2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Right, I believe the correct response to "You're an asshole" is always "thank you" with a big grin.

[–]0io-Tsundere0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're young enough that you might be able to recomp your body, meaning lose weight (fat) and get stronger at the same time. 19% body fat is way to high for you. At your age you should be able to get to 10% no problem. That will do a lot for your looks and for your self-esteem. Make sure to get on top of your diet right away. Keto maybe.

[–]RoccoPinkman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

“It’s better to say nothing than say something stupid”

you just summed up STFU perfectly.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude is 6'3 and whining, there is no reason you should not be an absolute monster in the GYM. That's a great frame. Lift heavy eat heavy. Consider getting a trainer that actually knows what he's doing with diet and lifting. Your wife will get so pissed at the attention you get you won't have half these issues.

Women need to be led, they hate being the leader.

[–]sara349870 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Omg I’m sorry but wtf is all this bullshit? This is the first time I’ve ever come across this subreddit and honestly all this advice is toxic as fuck and really shitty. It’s only going to lead to more pain and more suffering. Your wife seems toxic as fuck and you seem to hold really toxic beliefs. You seem super lost and you have all this pent up anger...

Seriously, coming from a place of good intentions, please just seek therapeutic help and consider divorce. I know my words will probably get shit down by the toxic ass people on this subreddit, but I’ll try anyway. This is a really unhealthy way of thinking and you need to go seek help outside of this shitty subreddit.



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