Do women get worse every passing relationship?

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July 15, 2019
134 upvotes

After a breakup, men generally are forced to grow, get introspective and develop as a person. It seems to me that the more failed LTRs a women is in, the more crazy, bitter and delusional they get.

I think this is mainly because 1. Even if they cheated or were just a shitty girlfriend, they rationalize (hamster wheel) that the guy was an asshole. So she takes no personal responsibility and even doubles down on her shitty behavior cause she views she isn't at fault. 2. Perhaps the relationship wasted some of her prime years that she could have been on the open market, thus creating more resentment for the relationship. 3. Every relationship might highlight and reinforce an insecurity (why can't I get married, am I hot enough). Potentially making her less at peace with herself and more craving for external validation, particularly from men. 4. So many girls I've met are still hung up or constantly thinking about their ex. They can't truly let go of the relationship in a full capacity.

What do you guys think?


Post Information
Title Do women get worse every passing relationship?
Author hedden93
Upvotes 134
Comments 39
Date 15 July 2019 12:36 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/245503
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/cdala7/do_women_get_worse_every_passing_relationship/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
hamstercheatinglong term relationship
Comments

[–][deleted] 78 points79 points  (3 children) | Copy

Best way to identify these women is if she’s never been alone. If there is a month or so between her relationships then she’s going to come with a lot of baggage and resentment. The ones that don’t rush into relationships used that time to work on themselves and that also means she’s not just riding the carrousel.

[–]BBRpill26 points27 points  (2 children) | Copy

Reminds me of my ex gf. She seriously has a omega-guy who comes around after every failed relationship she got. If she falls in love she texts him "Goodbye, I got a new friend. We can't meet anymore". When she dumps or get's dumped she calls him again... Poor guy. Living on his parents couch and waiting for her...

[–]NeutralReiddHotel25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't feel too bad for him, he's doing it to himself after all.

[–]1rad_dynamic6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bound to be some guys like this with all the fairy tale, happy ending bullshit pop media that is circulating almost every film production. Although everyone wants a happy ending, pun not intended, it rarely happens in real life. Best to learn early on you better work for what you want

[–]robotlasagna84 points85 points  (6 children) | Copy

I would say women tend to learn slower these days because of social media. Think about it. If you are a girl and have many guys orbiting around you telling you exactly what you want to hear why would you ever want to introspect and confront your personality defects?

A girl can literally just hop on FB and do the trusty old “I’m so done with this...” vague type status update and within 2 minute guys (and girls) will be like “what’s wrong? How did that jerk hurt you?”

[–]Project_Zero_Betas46 points47 points  (4 children) | Copy

I would say women tend to learn slower these days because of social media. Think about it. If you are a girl and have many guys orbiting around you telling you exactly what you want to hear why would you ever want to introspect and confront your personality defects?

So true. SM really is harmful to women in the long run but they don't realize it.

[–]boredrandomguy4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Any forum where they can gossip is toxic to their outlook on men.

Before social media, there was chatting on the phone and hanging out at beauty parlors.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, that's just socializing with their own sex, are we really going to start entertaining the notion of gender segregation? The problem is that SM allows them to receive ridiculous amounts of attention/validation from thirsty beta orbiters, thus enables their hamstering to continue thinking "I can still get the alpha I want, look how popular I am with other guys!" without accepting the reality of their situation.

[–]Jabbermouth4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Similar to how nice guys are sold a lie that being “nice” will get them laid, I think that women are also sold a lie by society that they can “have it all”.

Do you think that some women end up realizing how harmful SM is when they hit the wall?

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Similar to how nice guys are sold a lie that being “nice” will get them laid, I think that women are also sold a lie by society that they can “have it all”.

Somewhat true, though I suspect more women realize they have to compromise somewhere in the middle between family and career to maximize their total happiness, whereas guys can go their whole lives without realizing being a "nice guy" doesn't work.

Do you think that some women end up realizing how harmful SM is when they hit the wall?

So long as their malevolent family isn't encouraging their absurd hamstering for their own malicious reasons, I'd think that's the ONLY way girls realize that SM is harmful.

[–]Angelrun2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah they’re probably always on their high horse?

[–]throwaway19991312131 points132 points  (3 children) | Copy

Theres men like this too just look at the sub.

[–]the_Milkweed6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Under-rated comment of the year

[–]Angelrun13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah but we’re fuccbois tho it’s ok

[–]BBRpill1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

But every man who finds this sub and/or the rtp is on a right way to get his shit together.

Is there any sub or community for women which tells them "you're not a little princess and not all men are bad"?

[–]___Lana___13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

I agree with your points. I would add that the main one to me are the following : - we tend to invest a lot emotionnally in a relationship, we quickly imagine a future with our loved one, we make plans in our head (can you imagine the number of wedding / house / baby rooms pictures we save on Pinterest?), etc so the breakups are hard to take, because we have to say good bye not only to the present, but also to the future we had imagined. - we tend to make our partner the center of our world, seeing our friends less, having less activities outside the couple, etc. If our whole life resume to our partner, we lose a lot after a breakup - IMO the biggest one is that we see the wall approaching, or at least our fertility decreasing. Tik tok...

[–]FollowerTRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

First two points apply only to epiphany phase.

Third point applies mostly to epiphany phase, but also somewhat earlier.

[–]party_dragon13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Selection bias. Shittier women crash more relationships, so a shitty woman might have had 5-10 relationships by 30 or so, whereas an amazing woman could be happily married since 25 with one boyfriend before that... If you pick a random woman at 30, you're going to see correlation between shittiness and number of past LTRs.

Most people are shitty. Most people never learn. Most people don't grow. TRP has a bit of a selection bias as well (people that want more from life than they're getting right now, and aren't afraid of the truth that they might actually be shitty people, and need to work on themselves to fix that). Best people can grow/learn even within a single relationship (without a breakup). Both genders.

[–]Okynrom6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

This (2.):

Perhaps the relationship wasted some of her prime years that she could have been on the open market, thus creating more resentment for the relationship.

Pretty much every relationship that lasted > 6 months, when I initiated the breakup, the girl told me that I "used her" or "wasted her time".

The amount of shortcomings on her side -cheating included- didn't prevent her to make the point.

As a previously BP male unaware of female psychology, this surprised me the 2 first times. After this, I interpreted this as her gauging her biological tank, now with less time fuel.

I also heard some -precisely 2- men make this point, though they were both married and being divorced. Non-married men never said this in my presence.

[–]Running-blossom-65 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

Female here, 21 y. I think anyone regardless of gender is capable of introspection. Got in a relationship, realized I needed to deal with my deficits from some childhood trauma, and have since been trying to improve. I’ve quit social media, or I still have my accounts but haven’t posted anything in about 4 months and I plan on phasing then out. I realized they weren’t adding value to my life and were a false sense of validation. I’ve also gone to therapy and just spent a lot of time working on myself. I’m not getting with someone again until I feel like I’m in a good place and can adequately give someone a good relationship. Anyways, gender doesn’t define you, neither does your past unless you let it. All that to say it’s easy to deny things and let your issues spiral out of control in relationships.

[–]vpjtqwv22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy

I agree with everything except that gender doesn't define you. It defines you very much. Just like any other aspect of your physical body defines you. But yes women are just as capable of introspection. It's just that they don't need to consider it ever. It's basically down to looks. All the introspective girls I know have self image issues. And I'm not talking about the selfie thots who cry: I'm not pretty so here's a hot selfie please give me attention, but I mean the ones who never post online because they feel unlikable. Those are introspective as fuck.

[–]the_Milkweed3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I dated a girl who was very introspective and in her words 'stayed off social media because it was evil'. Her insecurity was formed around an understanding that she didnt want to be looked at as a sex symbol, she didnt want her value to the world to only be the fact that she was pretty. To some extend created a pendulum effect, she did not like being told what to do, constantly fought against her subconscious want to be submissive. Good test for me, as I had to tailor the way I approached telling her what to do or suggesting solutions for her. She would stubbornly ignore good advice only because a man was giving it to her. We would cuddle and fuck and afterward she would tell me how it made her feel weird allowing me to dominate her but that she liked it.

Moral of the story, bitches are cray.

[–]GGrub83 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Let's see how "improved" you'll be in 10 years after several breakups.

Relationship-related hardship doesn't improve women, it spoils them.

The only kind of emotional bond that makes a woman more mature is the one she has with her children.

Everything else can at best preserve her innocence and purity, and at worst it can make her more jaded, negative and selfish.

[–]FollowerTRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Anyways, gender doesn’t define you, neither does your past unless you let it

This is so cute.

Anyway - when it comes to rules we have to follow to grow/success in SMP, they are different. That's why our point of view for development and improvement has to be different.

[–]Estrogenoxygen5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s a man and woman thing. Trama, so yes women do. They like guys also get stronger usually which is why an attractive gal who’s hit the wall few years already 37-45 but still hot can be some of the hardest women to game. They’ve been in the game for some time

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

It seems to me that the more failed LTRs a women is in, the more crazy, bitter and delusional they get.

Women externalise their problems, causing them to get bitter. It is ALWAYS the man's fault, and the more she hamsters to believe this the worse she gets as a person.

This is point 1 made by OP.

2,3 apply too

4: They get hung up on men who dumped them ... or were indifferent when they got dumped. Women fucking HATE to lose... it sticks with them for years. This is what they mean by "closure" - feeling that somehow they managed to win and that they were right to dump the guy or he wasn't good enough for her anyway. Standard ego shit, but women are utterly absorbed by ego and validation.

[–]andyturbo2000 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Number 4 - the alpha widow.

[–]Xerexes38691 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man there is no victory for a guy in case of alpha widow.

[–]CasualtyOfHedonism5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s not up for debate, not a question. Cold hard data will tell you that their chances of being in a long term relationship that works will decrease with every cock they take.

[–]sehns3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm of two minds about this.. they get worse and they also get better. If it's a quality girl who is a (mostly) serial monogamist she might have some baggage but she may also have been 'trained' by previous alpha boyfriends to be less of an annoying, nagging, needy bitch with some maturity. But then it also swings the other way if she's been with psycho guys and has some emotional trauma she'll come with some baggage. I'd say 75% of it depends on the men she's been with. If she has self respect and only dates good men (rare) she's probably better because of it.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The most immature ones do, such as borderlines/narcissists/histrionics.

[–]zboo1h1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Like meat after awhile it (they) go bad.

[–]idrinkyour_milkshake1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think this is an example of how correlation does not equal causation. I think it's just that women who are damaged go through lots of relationships because they aren't really capable of long term pair bonding.

[–]batfish551 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

With each passing relationship, she gets older and can attract a lesser quality of man. It probably has more to do with getting older than number of relationships.

Either way, women have gone to shit since the smartphone and social media.

[–]TheHumbleAfrican0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That is true

[–]omega_dawg931 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

who gives a fuck?!?

how she treats YOU is going to be a function of who you are, the boundaries you set, and your tolerance for her level of bullshit.

women try to conform to the man they meet... they adjust... they're a vessel to be filled with what YOU desire.

if she's bringing her agenda (and its associated bullshit) to the forefront and either asking you to fix it, accept it, or "man up & deal with it," you're in her frame and you're not gonna survive.

[–]mikayla_rivera0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I wouldn’t generalize and say that it’s a just a women thing to get hung up on an ex, there are plenty of men who have been beaten up about their past relationships for a long time after the relationship ended.

Personally, I am a woman, and I took around 2.5 years after my last relationship in which I spent that time working on my career and learning about myself more. I am just starting to seriously date again but by no means do I have harsh feelings towards my ex or feel that I am bringing that relationship into my new ones.

It really just depends on the individual, male or female, we all have the choice to learn and grow from a relationship. Some people are harboring deeper issues within themselves which could’ve stemmed from their childhood or of course their past relationships. Just love yourself first and realize that you’re the only person who can truly make you happy, no relationship can be the source of your happiness and some times it takes multiple LTRs to learn that.

[–]xddm26530 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with all your points.



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