How did you approach your wife?

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July 15, 2019

Hello Ask MRP,

Posted this on MRP and got banned. Reposting here so i can get some real answers hopefully.

Here I am, sitting at a rooftop bar next to 3 girls focused on their instagram accounts. I'm not getting any IOIs, I'm bitter and discouraged. I've done a lot to improve myself, and when I do approach it just doesn't happen.

Striking out and I just dont get it. I just don't see why it has to be this way. I'm ready to get married and my dad met my mom years younger than me with no game.

I'd like this topic to be a place for men to share the approaches that led to their current marriage partner.

What year was it, how did you approach? What made the difference with being seen as the right man in their eyes?

Thank you for your time.

Post Information
Title How did you approach your wife?
Author RK4765
Upvotes 13
Comments 87
Date 15 July 2019 02:35 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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[–]simbarlionRed Beret33 points34 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's because you BLEED neediness.

Like a fucking casualty victim in emergency.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ok, can you elaborate?

[–]simbarlionRed Beret19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your answers to the other posts have confirmed my diagnosis, but i will leave you to think about these things...(which primarily occur BEFORE you approach)

Do you add life to the party? Or are you enervating?

Do you display abundance mentality - (you are the prize), or is she "the prize" and you show neediness and desperation? - who is after who?

Are you an interesting person? - Have a crack at just making friends with a group of girls for a change, showing no interest in them sexually. Tell them you have a girlfriend if you have to - but have ZERO expectation for action. Be fun, make them laugh.

Finally, girls are like cats, they spook super easily, but sit on your lap for hours once they like you - my guess is you are spooking them before you even approach

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red26 points27 points  (11 children) | Copy

"Ready to get married" tells all about your mindset, beta boy.

I married my wife seven years after I met her.

7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 dwarves. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.

[–]Monsieur-Incroyable4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is gold worthy and I wonder how many will appreciate it. I think I'll just take a piss now...

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

How'dja get the beans above the frank?

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Step into my office.

Because you’re fucking fired

[–]gameoflibidos2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

you can't do 6 minute abs...

[–]coinbaserep-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I got a new program called 3 min abs

It’s better than the 6 min abs. Have the time twice the results

[–]BlueMyLoad693 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Ok. I can understand waiting, I was thinking about dating 2 years and engaged 1 more year before tieing the knot. Did you need all 7 years to vet this woman or was it more than that?

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

Never wanted to get married.

Never thought about the ramifications.

It was a whim. It was more about the week on a tropical island with swinger friends than the ceremony.

Now, I'm contractually bound to her. I'll lose millions if I have to walk. I was broke, free, just starting my career. Blind. I signed a certificate, stoned, drunk and dehydrated on a wild sex vacation in Jamaica on the beach.

Half, Eddie

Don't get married.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Never saw that skit with Eddie, pure gold.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ok what was your entire first post about then? You made it seem like you diligently waited to ensure she was the right woman. You got drunk and high and got married?

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

20+ years ago.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret11 points12 points  (14 children) | Copy

I approached her in a bar. A few minutes prior, I got shot down by two other women, individually, on the other side of the bar. So that's three approaches in that bar, and I don't remember, but I don't think that was the first bar I went to. All three I went up cold, without getting as much as a single glance in my direction from them.

How many approaches have you done tonight, pussy?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (13 children) | Copy

I did 4 tonight across a few hrs. So what did you talk about and how did it end?

[–]NoCoast823 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

We can't spoon feed you man!

What reading have you done? What have you done to make sure you are actually somewhat attractive?

0-4 is nothing, 0-10 means your doing it wrong. If you were 1-10 and approached 10 girls a day you would be with 1-7 new girls every week. But your going after them looking for a relationship, they can smell the neediness on you.

Approach more women, and quit hunting for a relationship.

And read The Rational Male because you obviously have not yet

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

I've read all of Rollo's books and a few of Roosh's books. I lift constantly and my progress has been steady for 2 years. I'm pivoting to marriage so I'm here asking for help in good faith. If you want to contribute, please share how you specifically met your wife from a cold approach.

[–]Onein1024th2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You need to learn to catch a few fish consistently. Life after marriage is harder because she has you on the hook and doesn't think you have alternative options. The only antidote to this is being able and willing to replace her. They can smell it

[–]gameoflibidos1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

your main problem here is you clearly have no game otherwise you'd be hooking some fish here and there.

you are going to end up plastered to the first one that gives you her number like some kind of god damn lamprey eel.

your game blows... improve it. then start with a few different yes's and phone numbers and go from there. anything else will blow up in your face in the end.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

You need to find a reason why you are out there, what gets you going, what can you talk about that you enjoy, how can you involve them? One of my favorites was "Tell me a story." Of course, they would ask ME to tell a story, well, whaddya know, I have a few of them queued right up.

How did it end? I got her number as her friend was pulling her away because the friend wanted to go meet up with the lacrosse team or some shit like that. Once you think you can get the number, do so, then have a reason to leave... always leave them wanting more. Plus, I didn't see me vs the football team ending well anyway, so it was time to go. Went to a different bar, struck out a few more times, called it a night, went and fucked the girl I already had on tap.

Until you have had one hundred rejections, you don't know shit. Keep going.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Thank you for putting in the effort, this response was actually helpful.

My energy is definitely lower because I dont actually want to be in a bar, so that must show up big time. I like bars when I'm with the right people, so it may not be the bar itself but the small wimpy crew I gk out with, or going solo. If I'm in the bar with other single needy guys, which is usual, it shows up on me too.

My stories are kind of stale. I should be making new ones. I'm happy to worked out in the end for you.

[–]tspitsatgp6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

You are going to the bar with the wrong intent.

Go to the bar and have FUN, talk to people, strike up conversation in the bar to see if you find THEM interesting enough to continue talking to. Don’t just talk to the girls, talk to everyone for practice.

If you go to the bar searching to find a girl to marry then holy shit are you going about it wrong and no doubt exuding neediness.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I've never had any real fun in a bar. Even with a big group it's always been an anxious activity. Maybe I should work on creating conversations that I enjoy and find interesting or valuable.

[–]tspitsatgp6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Then don’t go to bars. Go and do things you do like but in group situations. Listen you are coming across as a pessimistic sort of person. Glass half full. It’s not an attractive quality and I am sure it’s not a good feeling internally.

Do things you enjoy for yourself, live a positive and proactive life and your chances of living a happy life will most likely increase.

[–]Monsieur-Incroyable1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read "Day Bang" and skip bars if that's not your scene.

[–]gameoflibidos1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

if you aren't having fun in the bar... you obviously will look like bitter depressed guy not having fun in the bar. All the pussies will be wet for that.... lol

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My energy is definitely lower because I dont actually want to be in a bar, so that must show up big time.

You need to bring the fun with you wherever you go. It's not easy always being high energy, but who wants to go out with someone who is mopey?

[–]eagerlearner7321 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]ReddJiveRed Beret7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Dear MRP,

I am a really great guy. I wear the latest clothes from Walmart (RP RULE: Be thrifty). I go to Planet Fitness (RP RULE: Workout). I even hit on the cougars at the water aerobics class (RP RULE: Always be flirting).

I just don't know what's wrong. I am smart enough, my cock is big enough, and gosh darn it people like me.

Thank you for listening MRP. You are the best.

Love, OP

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wish I could pin this post.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I got a laugh out of this one

[–]Faust1an19 points20 points  (16 children) | Copy

I’ve just lurked here for 2 years and this cry for help of a post made me want to say something.

First of all, you’re a massive faggot bitch. And yeah I cold approached my wife in college. But you know what I didn’t do? I didn’t sit around waiting for girls to show interest in me. I also didn’t give a fuck about the outcome of the approach either, either she give me her number and we hit it off, or we don’t.

Reading your replies on here makes me think you’re some kind of troll. There’s no special formula for finding a woman or a wife like you seem to think there is. And if you’ve spent any time on this subreddit you would know that you can’t “find” a wife and they aren’t “born”. Good wives are created by good men who have their shit together and follow the basic principles laid out in plain view in the sidebar.

I’m not going to tell you what I said when I approached her or what we talked about or about whatever “game” I was running because it’s all specific to ME and MY frame. And by the looks of this sad, desperate post, you have no fucking frame whatsoever.

I’m 21 years old and I have a better grasp of these simple concepts than you, who I assume is much older.

In summation and as others here have already said, read the fucking sidebar, go lift some heavy weights in the fucking gym, and figure yourself out. No woman worth having is going to want a boring, desperate sack of shit like yourself man.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

Ok, it's specific to you and your frame. I'm not trying to copy anyone. Can you share how it happened anyway?

[–]Faust1an11 points12 points  (7 children) | Copy

I could, but what will you do with that information? What I did and what I said is irrelevant. My point is that you could literally do or say anything short of pulling your pants down and ripping a fart straight into her mouth whilst chanting a satanic ritual.

I was just being myself, and “myself” is fun, and outgoing, with a confident frame. The content of the conversation doesn’t fucking matter if she’s having a good time.

Telling you to be yourself now is bad advice because you seem boring and desperate with no frame, and your goal is to find a wife. And as I’ve said before, wives aren’t fucking found bro.

Learn to love yourself, work on yourself, make your goal to find YOURSELF, not some woman. And for gods sake read the fucking side bar.

[–]pussykiller009-5 points-4 points  (6 children) | Copy

Dude just fucking share the infos. What he will do with it is his business

[–]RStonePT4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

Fucking value leeches. Faustian is spot on, there is nothing he can say that will prevent you guys from being too afraid to talk to a girl

[–]pussykiller009-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

That’s your opinion. The dude is here to learn If you don’t have any meaningful information to provide him just shut up.

[–]RStonePT4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

He's not, neither are you with your coddling.

He's not read the FAQ, the sidebar, or even checked the fucking purpose of the subreddit. He's put in 0 effort, and any effort put on him is wasted.

As is my time here on you, luckily others will read this and understand why everyone is shitting on OP

[–]pussykiller009-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

You have a nice day

[–]RStonePT2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

the passive aggressive is dripping off you like a wet pussy

[–]Flynnjacklepappy2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

As if he’s ever experienced a wet pussy.

[–]Tbonesupreme-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

You have been here for years... you're 21... and MARRIED?

Jesus, if I was 21 again, the last fucking thing I'd do is GET MARRIED. I'm sure EVERY adult male here would say the same thing, except the fairy who created this post.

[–]Faust1an0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Probably. What’s your point? I’m here for the same reason everyone else is. Except I have a head start and my entire 20s to mold and shape my marriage and my woman into something incredible, rather than having to deal with and fix the baggage and issues that come with finding a woman in her late 20s and early 30s.

[–]Tbonesupreme1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's not a head start.

If you want to marry a 20 year old, you should do it when you're 35.

My POINT IS, that for being here for a few years, you missed some big shit.

[–]Faust1an3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I understand this, and I willfully ignored it. Love is a stupifying emotion.

[–]markpf736 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Maybe offer them a goat or a cow?

[–]Ketonian_Empire1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Haha offer the father of the girl 8 cows. That will do the trick.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

'Can I have a grilled cheese and coffee to go please'

[–]Tbonesupreme1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Do you like grilled cheese?" was one of my favorite openers in my early 20's. It worked fantastically. Bitches looooooooooove grilled cheese, and love to talk about them. haha.

[–]helaughsinhidden1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

First dated her cousin, but after that relationship died we met again years later through mutual friends.

What books have you read from the sidebar?

Do you have hobbies?

Do you have friends?

Do you go to a gym or several of them?

Women can be easily bored or socially anxious and bury themselves in social media while out to alleviate their perceived suffering. Good news is that it is extremely easy to be more interesting than the glowing screen. Tease them about almost anything to get their attention, then treat anything they say an innuendo. I almost listed some ideas but I don't think it will help you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

I've read all of Rollo's books, Game and Bang by Roosh, skimmed a number of the other books but not ready fully.

I have a lot of hobbies. I love skateboarding, opera, 70s music, gymnastics, among others. lifting, I only have a few close friends, I've found having a big crew to be challenging post college. I crossfit 3 or 4 days a week consistently, but I'm not very popular there and I'm trying to find out why.

[–]helaughsinhidden1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Ok, so what are you doing wrong then? What part of what you read are you either failing or unwilling to try?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I get over approach anxiety about once an hour. I'm usually approaching girls at the bar who have just one friend with them. I dont neg very much, but deep down I know this 25 year old cocktail waitress really doesn't have much going on under the hood so its confusing why I restrain. I'm not comfortable with making the girl feel bad even for pointing out the truth, so I should dig into the reading around that area.

[–]helaughsinhidden2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tattoo on girls are advertisement for dick by the way.

My dad was in the hospital recently for surgery, they have RN's coming in hourly to check on him. One is an HB8 with brunette hair and she has a world atlas style map on her arm. So I tease and say "did you have to cheat at geography in college?" confused, she says asks what I mean, then grin and I point/touch her tattoo and ask "or do you love to travel?". Face blushed hard, she starts to explain how she likes traveling, London, etc, but never has the time. I share some travel stories about London, Rome, Amsterdam, she hangs on every word, gushes how lucky I am to travel, blah, blah. She's all smiles, looks at my wedding ring, then makes eye contact, then the ring, then me again, smiles, pauses kind of waiting to exhale and see what my next move was. I smiled, nodded, and said "Well, I'll let you get back to work". I could have spun the plate longer and she was disappointed at my reaction, not the ring.

For me though, that's as far as I take it. I'm happy to be faithful and have a pretty satisfying relationship at that. Even +20 years into the same relationship, you still need to know you could if you wanted to.

YOU must be clever and confident. Try often without worrying about results, just let them figure out that you are teasing them. It weeds out the unbearably rude and easily offended women that a lot of men in this sub have paired up with, impregnated, and are using MRP as suicide prevention. A woman who finds you to be of high quality will "just get you", even when it's not really funny. Beware she might tease you back immediately, so make sure you pass that shit test too.

[–]gameoflibidos1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

you sound like the depressed guy that lost his girlfriend in swingers.

[–]RoccoPinkman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bro you sound like a fucking faggot. That single paragraph almost sent me to sleep I’m not surprised your getting results. I’m not even 100% sure your not a troll surely nobody is this much of a pussy?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go read the book of pook and get some perspective on everything.

If you truly cared about your future you would have no problem investing the time required to read these books and internalize them

[–]RaughKee1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your goals are way off. You should not be seeking marriage, you should be seeking to get close to a variety of women so that you can start to understand what qualities you are looking for. You can meet women in a variety of ways, social circle, bar, online, day-game. Use what works for you, always be a willing to seize that opportunity.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"3 girls focused on their instagram accounts"

Here's a freebie for you. Your homework is to figure out why it works.

"hey girls squeeze together and give me your phone I'll take an awesome picture for you"

Hero gets them to do a few poses until he 'likes' the set up. He then switches her camera to selfie mode and snaps a few pictures of himself. Hands it back and sits down like nothing happened.

Its worked for me, why do you think?

[–]EveryGodDamnDay1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Why in the fuck any single man would be attached to the concept of marriage -- in the abstract, completely without a specific hot and horny woman to catch feels for -- is beyond me entirely.

What in the fuck are you thinking?

I met my wife when i was so scared of pussy i had to join a cult and get the cult leader to match me for all eternity with a similarly brainwashed prude. Nothing close to what any other guy here went though, but you know what, we all have found ourselves in the same boat: boring, needy, and attached legally (and/or with kids) to a woman who just didn't want to fuck us, "Christ it's so unfair!"

You're already boring, needy, and scared of pussy. Why in the fuck are you thinking about marriage at all? You think our experience getting locked into a blue pill nightmare is going to help you here?

Nope. Just put down the diamond ring and walk away. Marriage is probably the last thing you want to do in the best of circumstances. Definitely the last thing you want to do at this stage of your life.

[–]Tbonesupreme1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

For real, though? A cult???

[–]EveryGodDamnDay1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, it's way of topic, but it's true.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wasn’t looking when I found mine and she asked me to marry her.

Read Book of Pook in its entirety.

You lifting ?

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ok I'll do that. Yes been lifting for 2 years.

[–]_-resonance-_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Even if you got in an LTR, it would be doomed because you are seeking it so desperately, like it defines you or provides you with validation. The only way to maintain a LTR is to have a DGAF and abundance mentality.

“How to approach wife?” It’s not 1950. Women are empowered now and don’t want or need husbands (except to leech off of and/or emasculate them). Thus you have to be awesome, so awesome that you are desire-able. Are you desired? No? So work on that. Let the women come. Then, let the women cum. Then decide which (if any) you choose to LTR.

You are looking at this backward.

[–]Frosteecat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Met her briefly in passing with mutual female friend. Bought four tickets to an upcoming concert—2 for us, one for my roommate, one for my friend. Went on double date, had fun, got wasted, made out. Brought her coffee and a pastry for her hangover next day. Married 20 years now.

[–]Nec_sorte_Nec_fato1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why THE FUCK do you want to get married? Don’t be a Disney romantic idiot.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'd like to have kids, going to be doing that within a marriage.

[–]NaAF12242 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You’re doing shit out of order. One does not just magically become “ready for marriage.” The fact that you think you need to get married clearly indicates that you NEED something from marriage. You should be meeting women, having a good time, then maybe if you find one that checks all your boxes and things are going well THEN maybe you start thinking about marriage. Thinking about marriage before you’ve even met someone means you’re needy and unattractive and desperate.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I didn't approach her, she approached me. I was attractive and had a girlfriend. She orbited until I lost interest in current girlfriend. She auditioned for the role as friends. She would clean my apartment, cook for me etc. One day I decided I wanted to fuck her and then grabbed her and kissed her when she was leaving my apartment. 4 months later we were married.

I was young dumb and full of cum. I blew threw all the red flags and just said fuck it, let's do this. I don't recommend.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Here I am, sitting at a rooftop bar next to 3 girls focused on their instagram accounts. I'm not getting any IOIs, I'm bitter and discouraged. I've done a lot to improve myself, and when I do approach it just doesn't happen.

Striking out and I just dont get it. I just don't see why it has to be this way.

Women are attracted to men who have frame, game and good looks. You have none of these. You're a geeky engineer who playes video games, is obsessed with his cat and lifts like a fucking pussy.

I'm ready to get married

Posted this on MRP and got banned.

You should be banned from here too.

Thank you for your time.

Fuck off.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

What are your stats? Weights, lifts, etc?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (8 children) | Copy

I'm 6'2", 195 lbs. Best back squat was 315 for 5 two months ago. Best deadlift was 355 for 4 yesterday. Best bench was 230 a month ago. Best strict shoulder press was 150 for 1 a couple weeks ago.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

So then what the fuck is your excuse for being such a gigantic insecure little bitch?

You're the perfect example of the fact that you can be physically attractive and still be a completely repulsive person.

[–]GoodWillFunky-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I feel you man and I will chime in because this is the stage of the process I’m at right now, approaching is not easy if you’re an introvert but I will share how I’m dealing with it. If you are reading the sidebar books I’m sure you are familiar with the game and mystery’s 3 second rule to approach. Well this is my advice: approach anyone with NO AGENDA. This means approach to ask anything random. Excuse me, is that the last iPhone? Does route 876 pass by downtown? Excuse me what time is it? After you asked you say thanks and move on. Do it daily, put a challenge to yourself every week. At some point you will feel this as normal and engaging in further conversation will be easier, and that’s a step on the right direction. If you’re approaching with the agenda of getting a number and showcasing your intentions, women will pick up on that fast and you will be most likely rejected.

Welcome to the jungle baby


You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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