Handling financial success with LTR. - How?

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July 19, 2019
66 upvotes

Hi,

Excuse my bad english.

Briefing:

I'm in my early thirties. I have found TRP about 5 years ago. It was liberating and its still liberating to this day when I have to handle shit in my life, I'm always grateful that I have a toolset which I can use to handle things which I was strunggling with in my early twenties.

The success:
Hi,

Excuse my bad english.

Briefing:

I'm in my early thirties. I have found TRP about 5 years ago. It was liberating and its still liberating to this day when I have to handle shit in my life, I'm always grateful that I have a toolset which I can use to handle things which I was strunggling with in my early twenties.

The success:

I have started NoFap like 6 years ago, and did it for 2,5 years. This post is not about NoFap, and I don't care about the argumentation pro and contra. I found TRP's link in NoFap sub and the journey I was making led here, where I am now, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Like 4 years ago I went to a semi-monk mode, without knowing that it is actually a thing. I started to work on my business idea which I had since my childhood. Basically it is a software. It was consumned a lot of energy, free time, and hard earned money. I have a daytime job, I was working on this project at night and weekends.

I started beta testing 6 months ago. The first few months I made change money, then a little salary supplement, but now I can state it out clearly:

My business has value, people like it, they are willing to give money for it, I'm making a great revenue. Since it is a software, I don't have to (but I do) do anything with it. It is up and running, I have a passive income now, even when I'm sleeping.

My LTR and money:

I'm together with my LTR for 3 years now. When we started our relationship I made like 10-15% more money from my daytime job than her. I had a raise in each year since, when I started my business I was making 25% more money from my daytime job than her. She liked it as I climbed in my career, ofc it raised my SMV.

But now as my business launched I'm making 250% more money than her. It maybe does not seems to a big difference for first glance, but think about the following.

The success of my software was a skyrocketing. It was very fast paced growing. I still don't know where is the end, where will be the top, I believe I could even make better numbers in the future, but even these days I can feel the difference in my LTR's behaviour.

I can easily count 3 vacations in this sommer from my money, she told me she can only have 2. She is telling me I shouldn't order food that much, she becoming angry and depressend when she have to pay a fine for speeding and I had to give her a loan.

All of a suden she became depressed, sad and moody as my business started to make money. She is telling me she don't know what to do with her life, she don't know what she could which is interesting to her. She smiles much less, she started to blaming me in little things since she doesn't really find any weak point in my behavior. Constant small shit and comfort tests. I'm feeling she is not supportive, she is not happy with my success, quite the opposite.

I really don't know what is going on, or how to handle this. We are on separate budget, she pays for her stuff, I pay for mine. But now I feel we are drifting apart.

What should I do to make her normal again? What is causing this? How should I handle my success?

Please, help me with your advices great gents.


Post Information
Title Handling financial success with LTR. - How?
Author Adamn27
Upvotes 66
Comments 54
Date 19 July 2019 08:17 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/245952
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/cf4wel/handling_financial_success_with_ltr_how/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
betanofaplong term relationshipsexual market valuemonk modecomfort testthe red pill
Comments

[–]Rkingpin58 points59 points  (4 children) | Copy

Instead of her competing to make as much cash as you, she needs to embrace her feminine role as a supporting and helpful character.

It seems shes not embracing your leadership for whatever reason, and you need to explore within yourself why that is

[–]andyturbo2000 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Absolutely. This is a great way of her moving into a supplicating role. Why not surprise her with it. Honey, you’ve been working so hard, I’ve been working so hard and these are the rewards. My LTR would bite my hand off if I said stop work to become a domestic goddess. In fact, when she was between roles she had about three months off and the house was immaculate. She fucking loves it.

[–]rnsbrum8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

She fucking loves it.

This could be a trap. What happens when she has nothing else to do? Just endless days of nothingness and emptiness...

[–]AdeHMar2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's a million things to do in this world. Talk her into gardening, gym, books, learning a language, learning to cook more things, make her play a sport, or you know, kids.

[–]Bruchibre68 points69 points  (10 children) | Copy

Live with the same budget as her, save shit tons of money, pay her a nice meal or a short vacation once in a while as a reward.

[–]DiskKiller233 points34 points  (5 children) | Copy

This is good advice as long as he isn’t a millionaire. But if his business really takes off, and he knows he’s made it in life, why keep living like a peasant? Then it’s just a question of whether he wants to finance the lifestyle of the girlfriend. When a guy’s loaded, the girlfriend is usually hot - and living expenses probably aren’t split 50-50.

By the way... negative people are never worth it. She’ll just (try to) pull you down with her.

[–]Andrew5432122 points23 points  (3 children) | Copy

OP isn’t a millionaire. When he is, he may be asking a different question like:

Me and multiple LTR living together, how do I handle RP in Nightmare mode? (A mentor has this arrangement; a modern khan)

[–]rnsbrum7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

lol. This was pure gold

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Me and multiple LTR living together, how do I handle RP in Nightmare mode?

How do you decide which one to sign the legal marriage contract?

[–]party_dragon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's very simple. If you have enough money and you want something, you'll pay for it.

If I wanted to go to an expensive restaurant with my friends, but they couldn't afford it, I'd pay for them. Same with girls.

[–]TheRedPillRipper45 points46 points  (2 children) | Copy

I’ll give you a few tips;

  1. NEVER SHARE FINANCES. EVER. Splitting is fine but never put yourself in a situation where you could be fiscally liable. e.g. She can only afford two holidays then lucky you get to go on a third solo.

  2. Find a way to separate yourself as a legal entity from your wealth i.e. ”The money’s not mine; it’s the business’s.”

  3. DON’T FUCKING TALK ABOUT MONEY.

It’s very simple gentlemen; whether you’re wealthy or aspiring to be; only allow people PROVEN TRUSTWORTHY enough ACCESS to that information. Hint; your LTR, Plate or Hooker will never be that person. Why? They have competing interests. They want to make your value; theirs. Whether it’s living alongside you as a subservient partner or divorce raping your arse; ultimately that’s their end game.

GENTLEMEN PROTECT YOURSELF AT ALL COSTS.

Godspeed and good luck!

[–]SICFJC19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also, DO NOT FUCKING GET MARRIED. She will take half your shit.

DO NOT GET A JOINT ACCOUNT. DO NOT MAKE HER A PART OF YOUR BUSINESS IN ANY WAY.

[–]2ComplexProjection35 points36 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's probably a bit jealous of your success. Imagine trying to be successful in your career, only to see one person everyday doing much much better than you (seemingly) effortlessly. It can certainly be frustrating.

Something similar happened to me some years ago, with my LTR wanting to be successful at work and seeing me succeeding more than her. It led her to burnout, depression, and gave her ultimately a stress-related chronicle disease. She left me because she could not take it anymore.

If I had to do it again, I would discuss with her that I am not expecting her to be as successful as me business wise, and that I would like her to invest more time on household management, my family and (future) kids. Try to remove from her the pressure from having to succeed professionally, redirect her energy on something she can grow in and that would serve both of you.

EDIT: I'll go a bit further:

I know I will get flamed for that but I would invest more money into the relationship than her. Something that can still feel justifiable like percentage of income (like you give both 50% of your income to the household). You will increase her lifestyle, while clearly stating that you want her to take responsibility in the household management. You will keep your freedom and she will be happier.

Don't marry.

[–]travlingsomewhere14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

Boss her up. It’s common in entrepreneurship that friends and family start acting different when you get some success. I’ve experienced it time and time again.

Your success is probably making her look at herself and realize that she isn’t doing anything “special” with her life. Or that you don’t need her. I think she’s happy for you but more pissed at herself. In reality it’s hard for a person to genuinely be happy for you because they reflect on themselves and become envious. That’s just how people are wired. You measure people on how well they can control it.

It really comes down to do you see a future with her or not? If you do, raise her up.

I started a marketing agency with my LTR on the side. While the money may not be new or a lot to me it completely changed her life.

Maybe do something like that? I think as leaders we should have a positive influence on everyone’s life.

[–]030620554 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's manipulating you. This not aquaring support from her, she's just upset that you may upgrade your lifestyle. Hypergammy wants you in the beta zone. My friend

[–]Capt_Am4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

The beauty of TRP is that it is THE TRUTH. No more, no less. Doesn't matter what circumstances, it is THE truth.

She liked it as I climbed in my career, ofc it raised my SMV.

Sure, the small increase didn't take you out of reach, so it can only benefit her by association, of course it's OK.

But now as my business launched I'm making 250% more money than her.

This dramatic of an increase could effectively put you "out of her league", so it starts the hamster wheel.. (There's no logic in this, because you staying with her, STILL, is your preference. This is something she has to know.)

She is telling me I shouldn't order food that much, she becoming angry and depressend when she have to pay a fine for speeding and I had to give her a loan.... Blahblahblah... She smiles much less, she started to blaming me in little things

This all checks out. She's trying to draw you into her frame by using emotions. True, maybe she does genuinely feel lost, but they are not YOUR problems to figure out. Unless you are trying to provide HER future.

I really don't know what is going on, or how to handle this...Blahblahblah... What should I do to make her normal again? What is causing this? How should I handle my success?

Find your frame and stick to it. What is your goal in this relationship? LEAD with that. If you want to have a future with her, show her; it's too much, move on.

My biggest takeaway from TRP is that I'm awesome. I'm the prize. I will be wanted. That statement will be true when I do things to ensure so (ie Lift, know how to dress, live an awesome life blahblah). Anyone that wants to join will be on MY term, which is negotiable by MY preferences.

[–]Adamn27 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

they are not YOUR problems to figure out

Yes, I'm thinking the same. Thats why it is hard, I want to solve this, but it is like I cannot and I don't want to control another person. I tried it in my Blue Pill days and it was a catastrophe. I believe in the natural flow of people. I don't want to force her anything - then how should I exactly LEAD?... TRP says I cannot change her, then what should I do exactly?

" I'm awesome. I'm the prize. I will be wanted. "

To be honest, I never felt this, I've only used "fake it till you make it" - and I made it most of the time, but now that I have started my own business I instantly feel this from one day to another. My father failed his business maybe thats why I needed this so much.

[–]Capt_Am1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

To be honest, some days I have to say those three things to myself to keep me on track. But the most important part is progress. Keep doing it until it's second nature.

I can't answer those questions for ya, bro. They all depends on what she's worth to you; more importantly, what's YOUR worth to you? If what you will be doing are based off of her actions/emotion, then y'all are no longer in your frame.

Figure out where is your boundary, and stick by it. Your actions mean more than anything you can say, so LEAD this relationship to where you want it to be.

[–]Tiway2212 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

She sounds like a bad partner. Why wouldn’t she be happy for you?

[–]ek1995 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I find it interesting how all of you somehow work a job and have a "business" on the side.

[–]HotHead1218 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

She is acting like this because she knows that you can have a better one

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dump her whiny, bitchy ass, and run a soft-harem of hotter, younger, tighter women.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Finally.

[–]O---5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is a nice question.

The following is a common phenomenon. I presume this is what's happening here. You're in an LTR. You discover TRP. You get your shit together. Your SMV skyrockets. And your LTR is aware of that. And she realizes that, with your SMV, you could probably get pussy by so much as blinking twice. This discomforts her, albeit perhaps not consciously so, and she distances herself, not knowing what to do with the situation.

Let her turn it into an incentive to work hard for you.

[–]2ComplexProjection12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP is not discussing the sexual part of his relationship, so it's hard to be completely sure, but I have the feeling his LTR problem is elsewhere that what you state.

[–]CasualtyOfHedonism1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So can I have a job or what?

[–]HurricaneHugues3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

" I believe I could even make better numbers in the future, but even these days I can feel the difference in my LTR's behaviour."

That's your fault for not keeping your mouth shut about your financial success to a girl you've only been dating for 3 years. Should've kept your fuck shut my guy.

[–]okuli2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It looks like she's depressed because you are making much more money and she doesn't get any of that. Be careful to not be tricked into marriage and kids, because that's how women lock men and then divorce rape them. Ask me how I know it...

[–]Velebit3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You have 3 options:

1) spend less... hedonism is destructive

2) find another partner that can keep up

3) if you really love her and see a future with her and want to mix your genes with hers as you think she will be an excellent mother, one your future kids would vote for to raise them and you think she is best you can find or near... TALK TO HER OPENLY. Get into how she thinks and feels and make it clear you do not expect her to be in competition with you and that her confidence should not rely on competing with you but working together. Talk about kids and how you want a dedicated mom. Watch Stefan Molyneux videos about it.

[–]apietroski80 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Its great that you have been working on yourself and making your self more valuable monetarily and mentally. You need to ask yourself what value your partner brings to your life.

Redpill says to not bitch and just take care of business. Sometimes that includes doing things around the house that you think your partner should be doing. You dont do it for her validation or to guilt her into something. You set an example and own your shit.

You need to be the leader of your relationship and act like it. If she doesnt get in line, then you move on. It seems like you have had a MAP and have been executing. I have read a number of posts where members have to have a come to jesus moment with your partner. You lay out your plan for the future and tell her this is how its going to be and shes welcome to come along for the ride. If she does not agree, do not argue, do not try and convince her. You tell her this is my plan and I am moving forward with or without you.

Good job focusing on yourself. Dont let a partner bring you down.

[–]AceMav210 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah your success dwarfs he sense of accomplishment

[–]SerbianChadnik0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You dont compete with women

[–]DominatePressure0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Some toxic people want to be around successful people and then bring them down once they skyrocket since it reflect their own failure. I dont think she is real toxic one but she cant help the reflection of her not succeeding. That's a good thing since it seems she does not want to be a leech and somehow equal to you even if empiricaly she is not. She may feel stalling in life. There is a lot to talk about but since I dont know her personnality I cant

[–]MeanCaregiver0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Be there for her she’s probably getting frustrated that your leveling up fast and I’m assuming she wants to level up financially maybe talk with her about her financial desires and goals and explain your mindset to her on how and why this and all that

[–]CasualtyOfHedonism0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly bro, sounds like she’s got some unlady like aspects. She wants to bring in money like a man. Every npc in here is going to tell you to “soft next” but I think it would be better to have a direct conversation with her.

Could also be she’s feeling you have much higher value than her now and she’s becoming resentful instead of improving herself. In that case maybe you start spinning some plates in an innocent way to let her know what’s up. If she continues to be a bitch. Consistently then it might actually be time to move on.

[–]MurkyArtichoke0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Jealousy is a strong emotion. It’s normal to be jealous of other people’s success, we’ve all been there. However this is your partner, and she should show more support and happiness on your behalf. Why would you want to have such negative energy around all the time? Talk to her about it, or end things so you can be with girls that actually admire your success.

[–]Estrogenoxygen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your success isn’t making her “depressed” It’s certainly something else. Maybe the success has changed you or she feels she has way less smv now

[–]BajaGhia0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, if she wants along for the ride then great! If she doesn't then great!

Either way your fine. Don't marry her, don't mix your finances. Don't increase your standard of living, don't tell her how much you're making.

Do tell her to do the things you want her to do. If she wants to stay, she'll do it. If she doesn't, she won't.

Personally I would set a calendar date of this shit needs to be fixed by and stick to it. Don't tell her when, just jot it down to yourself, then have a talk with her to let her know what your thoughts are in her situation. If it isn't resolved by x date, exit.

And keep in mind, she can't keep up with you monetarily, which sucks for her. Don't rub her nose in it. Nobody likes an asshole.

[–]montana123450 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What Kind of Software?

[–]KamelMedia 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

Me too. I earn about 160% more than my girl so i hired her and got her involved in my business. Now shes into it, contributes to it, is getting her mind around it and is generating unique ideas for it. Weve never been closer.

[–]Adamn27 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

Hah, thas sound super fantastic. Altough I read you should never start a business with a woman, but maybe it is different if she is your LTR.

Reality is that my LTR couldn't contribute to my project, totaly different field of work than hers.

[–]SICFJC2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

NO. Do not make her a part of your business. Do not make her a part of your finances. Do not marry her.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Have you been Training Your Bitch like you should have all this time? Have you been Managing Your Bitch?

It doesn't sound like you have. Read the side bar.

[–]Flesh_Pillow5-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dump her! It's time to move on. This behaviour is the precursor to cheating. Relegate her to plate. Make sure there's no way you'd mess up and get her pregnant. Chicks don't compete like men. You want a woman not a competitor.

[–]blacwidonsfw-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like the she is hitting the wall while watching you soar over it so it is compounding her sense of getting old and pointless

[–]Foolishoe-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Prepare to find another woman. You cant always fix a relationship that isnt naturally easy. Protect your finances and enjoy her while you can. There are plenty others

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Find a position in your job that would be good for her and work together. Win-win. But if your business is small, don’t do this.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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