I want to begin Martial Arts, leaning towards BJJ - looking for advice.

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July 19, 2019

I’ve never been in a fight in my life and I don’t think I can ever feel 100% like a man if I don’t learn how to carry myself in a fight. I’m lifting heavy so I could probably hold my own against another beta bitch/AFC but I want real training. Is BJJ a good start?

Post Information
Title I want to begin Martial Arts, leaning towards BJJ - looking for advice.
Author BlueMyLoad69
Upvotes 8
Comments 42
Date 19 July 2019 07:04 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/246003
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/cfbopr/i_want_to_begin_martial_arts_leaning_towards_bjj/
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[–]SepeanRed Beret18 points19 points  (8 children) | Copy

Bjj and wrestling is great for takedowns and ground fighting. Easily the most dominant 1v1 martial arts, but absolutely sucks in any real life scenario that is not unarmed 1v1. Great exercise, but very strenous. You will get stupidly sore. The sport is very cerebral, you need to learn 1000 techniques and solve a rubik’s cube of meat and leverage. You can go full force sparring which is great fun once you know what you are doing.

Boxing (and to an extent kickboxing) is generally a better self defense option, strike and run is much safer than rolling on the ground. Great cardio workout but not anywhere near as muscular demanding as groundfighting. Sparring can’t be done full force so it doesn’t feel as real as groundfighting. The sport is about perfecting the 6 strikes and using them in combos and with footwork and head movement.

MMA is a mix.

None of the above will teach you good self defense habits like awareness. Lack of awareness is dangerous and MMA etc. will not teach you it, or how to handle multiple attackers, weapons, or legal implications (don’t fight without understanding the legal issues, going to jail supposedly sucks). Krav maga and other self defense schools are a varied bunch, some good, some suck, so do your research. They don’t have sparring to weed out shitty teachings. No self defense school will have great sparring - you learn awareness there, do boxing, MMA and BJJ to learn to fight.

Pretty much everything else is a waste of time. There’s nothing wrong with other martial arts as sports, but if you want to learn to fight those above do it the the best in the shortest time. Anything else is at best slow.

That’s the basics, feel free to ask more. I’ve got 10 years combined in the arts mentioned above, and a few years in some shitty arts in my teens.

[–]BlueMyLoad69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks. This is great info, exactly what I was looking for.

[–]ohyesimthatguy-2 points-1 points  (6 children) | Copy

I disagree. I think BJJ has the most real world application and is the best self defense discipline to learn from a real world perspective.

[–]SepeanRed Beret7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

That’s why I wrote that lack of awareness is dangerous. You’re 100% wrong.

BJJ is awesome in unarmed 1v1. But try rolling vs 2 guys, it is game over. Take down a guy with a knife in his belt, it is game over.

BJJ is geat when your drunken uncle loses it at the BBQ. Outside of safe environments, it sucks.

BJJ also has a legal problem. You take a guy down, get him in a submission. Now you control him, any further damage is assault in a lot of cases. Your options are to let him free unharmed, hold him until cops show up, or hurt him and go to jail. That’s a shitty situation to be in.

[–]thepaddywagon2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy


Spoof video but it illustrates that in a lot of situations in real life BJJ can be risky. I do BJJ and love it but in any situation with a crowd (a bar) or situation where there is more than one attacker, it is dangerous. Many fight situations the last place you want to be is the ground.

That said if you end up on the ground your going to be damn happy you know BJJ as you can control people much bigger than yourself. It is also an extremely satisfying sport and workout.

[–]ohyesimthatguy1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Mutliple attackers and you're fucked anyways in my opinion

[–]SepeanRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Because you never trained it. You don’t have the option of a quick strike for a TKO to even the odds, or even better just run after it. You don’t have the footwork from boxing, you haven’t done drills to move so you are only facing one opponent at a time, you don’t know how to thai clinch and move that guy as a barrier for the other opponents, you don’t have the head movement that means you don’t get hit.

Multiple opponents suck, but with awareness and training you have a shot at making it home safe. With only BJJ, you’re fucked.

[–]Rogue684861 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Everyone has a gameplan until they get hit in the face. MMA if you're serious. Find a school that's well run if you want true confidence in your fighting ability.

[–]SepeanRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

MMA stricty applied is also dangerous. Many are too inclined to do takedowns, they focus on 1 opponent, and they size up their opponent slowly.

It is a great foundation for fighting, but for self defense you have to look around and orient yourself, you should never take it to the ground, and you should run and strike quickly until you can.

For example where I did krav maga, when doing drills they usually had a few guys going around and punching people drilling in the back. That ingrains it in you, knowing what is behind you, and a few monhs of that really reduces the risk of getting jumped by someone’s friend.

They sucked at sparring, you won’t become a great fighter there. But they teach you awareness and safe habits. And self defense law, that’s a big one.

[–]boy_named_su8 points9 points  (7 children) | Copy

I do bjj and boxing

Bjj is good. Less head trauma than boxing. Good if you're short, small, or short arms. Lots of cuddling with men though

Striking is useful too though. Might need it before you get on the ground

[–]BlueMyLoad69[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

I definitely want to avoid the head trauma but worried BJJ grappling might lead to cauliflower ear? Is that an issue? As for striking, my (barely) educated guess is that BJJ and Krav Maga might be complementary skill sets, so I might learn both of those one at a time.

[–]SepeanRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

You get a cauliflower from a bad bruise to the ear that is left untreated. If it happens, get medical care, they drain it and bandage and you’re fine. Some fighters don’t treat it because they think cauliflower ears are cool, or it interferes with a tournament.

In 10 years (not all groundfighting though) I’ve had one bruise I went to the doctor wirh, and it didn’t require treatment. I don’t consider it a problem. Some guys wear ear protectors, but I think they do it as much for the sore ears as for bruise protection.

[–]RoccoPinkman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with this. Little to no chance of cauliflower ear if your just training recreationally.

[–]boy_named_su2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would try boxing, muay thai, and krav maga and see which you prefer . I've tried all 3 and prefer boxing . Its elegant

Haven't seen any cauliflower ear

[–]hack3geRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Seriously - you are afraid of cauliflower ear so you aren’t going to try something. I got it about 6 weeks ago and drained that shit myself. Stop being a fucking pussy.

[–]BlueMyLoad69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s a concern but I never said it would stop me from trying.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't have it. My coach has been doing this for 30 years and doesn't either. When I first started, I got it but wore headgear until it healed. Once I stopped getting triangle choked every 5 seconds and trying to rip my head out leaving my ears behind I was fine. I don't let people grab my head in general now, I avoid it as a top priority.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have 2 black belts. And blue in BJJ. My father taught me to box, he was an amateur competitor.

Learn one art. Study it for years. Get a black belt if it’s there. Then branch off. Trying to learn a bunch of things all at once is like eating a bowl of chop suey. It’s all mixed up.

Someone said you need to learn to fight and that takes time and training. It takes dedication. Fighting is not natural. Among the arts I dedicate time to I have also dabbled in a few others. Kung Fu. TKD, Hapkido. I even did a little JKD once. I have also studied Kail (or arnis if you know it).

At this point it’s all nearly the same thing. Sometimes when I teach i find it hard to divorce it from my teachings. As people we all move the same way. OUr bodies are limited by that. Therefore the only real difference between arts, styles, and clubs is in the manner of our training.

Train hard. Train often.

[–]vplatt2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

BJJ is awesome. Go for it! It will really help if you're already in shape too so you can focus on the learning aspects without fighting against the fitness issues all the time. Oh, and 'fit' for BJJ doesn't just mean strong. You'll want some endurance too, so if you've skipped all of that HIIT and aerobics because it's all "bullshit", then you'll want some of that too to prevent suffering.

I'm just getting back into shape myself, but I hope to take up a martial art again in the future. I've done wrestling, tae kwon do, and wing chun in the past. I'm not even sure BJJ is offered in my area. Problem for another day.

[–]BlueMyLoad69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well I wouldn’t say I’m in shape...I’m close to benching my body weight (around 235) which I’ve never been able to do before, but I’m probably still at least 30% body fat. I’m getting better everyday though.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Jocko Willink was a Navy Seal commander in the battle of Ramadi.

He is a subject matter expert in this area as a Navy Seal with real world application in a war zone.

You are about to commit a significant amount of time and a little money to something. It’s worth 30 minutes of your time to include this man’s perspective.





[–]BlueMyLoad69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks I’ll give it a watch.

[–]Elvis_Death0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In addition, jocko's interview with Tim Kennedy on YT

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

BJJ will make you a man, a resilient and mentally tough mother fucker too. At least at my school, people beat the shit out of you if you have an ego. My first year I got the everliving fuck beaten out of me until I chilled out. It was good for me. I had and still have a massive ego but I am working on it. Losing was hard for me and also excruciating. Being held down like a child and tapped over and over really sucks. At times I was so frustrated with the difficulty of Jits that I wanted to cry and give up like a bitch. Seriously, I have taken such hellacious thrashings for 25 minutes that made me question my own reality. Each time you think you know something and are getting good, someone better shows you all of the holes in your game and why you need to learn and be better. There is no false reality, either your shit works or it doesn't. It's very real.

It has helped me develop incredible confidence in myself and that has really made the difference. I learned to push through impossible situations. You don't get to bitch, you just figure it out or tap. Each time you tap you should be thinking about what you did wrong and how you could prevent it from happening again. Learning to fail is an excellent skill.

I learned how to problem solve because it's physical chess. I learned how to control my emotions and be self aware of my breathing and body. I developed a frame because you can practice it while you roll. Everyone wants you to play to their strengths, join into their game and participate on their terms. I learned how to get people into my frame. They react to my movements. They are worried about me, I am in their head. I believe I am one of the best grapplers in my school and I exude confidence.

These skills and confidence transfer outside of the gym into the real world. It has helped me in my job, marriage and social life. Before I trained, I was a socially retarded introvert with zero game or confidence, just raw ego and my frame was non-existent. Everything in my life got significantly better and it was truly the turning point in my life where I started fixing things and becoming a man. I lost 50 lbs and never looked back at my old lifestyle. I have had abs ever since. Now combined with 7 months of lifting, I am in ridiculous shape. I always got attention but now its just getting to be something else. I am getting straight up sexually harassed on the regular. Women are always touching me. Random strangers will tell me they wish they had my body etc.

I fucking love Jiu Jitsu and it is one of the most components to my success as a man. I couldn't imagine my life without it. My mission is to become a black belt. I don't want to just be a black belt but I want to be the golden standard that represents my instructor and school. I have tried to emulate my instructor as much as possible and I have spent a long time discussing and learning his philosophy of teaching. I have also been instructing classes and that has helped me work on leadership skills in addition to being able to effectively communicate the things that I know. It has really accelerated my growth and learning because I need all of the details extracted from my technique. It has been 7 years and I am due my brown belt. We don't do stripes or any bullshit to reward people on their progress externally aside from the belt. It's their job to grow and not focus on what other people think of their skills, it's what they can do on the mat. Some people get stuck at the same belt for 10 years. Time served doesn't count. Some people NEED this external validation and hand holding, so they don't last. If you are training for a belt, you are training for the wrong reasons just as if you are following RP in hopes to change your woman.

I know that was a wall of text, but I am very passionate about BJJ. If you have any questions I would be happy to answer them.

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]BlueMyLoad69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude. Dude. I am fucking pumped as shit just from reading this. This is what the fuck I’m talking about. Thank you.

[–]primordialawe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can’t go wrong with anything pro MMA fighters train in. BJJ, kickboxing (actual kicking and punching, not “cardio”), boxing... up to what you want. Each is different.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think either street fighting or bar-room brawling would be a good starting point for you. Just make sure it’s AFC (assuming you’re going to put in the same effort as this post)

[–]Over60_FireTempered3Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Best answer! I'm sure because that's where I started.

[–]JudgeDoom691 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I did Taekwondo for a couple years. Not recommended. The sparring part was a good workout, but it's worthless in a real world scenario.

[–]BlueMyLoad69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

BJJ for grappling Boxing or Muay Thai for striking.

I enjoy hitting things so do Muay Thai.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

BJJ. Boxing. MMA.

I grew up fighting on the streets and about the last active group fight someone yelled gun.

With multiple people learning so many different ways of fighting, BJJ would definitely give you an edge as a beginner. It takes a lot of ass kicking in boxing. Not sure about MMA. I have spent a lot of time in an Akido dojo, add that to street fighting and I really don’t fuck around. If I could go back it would be BJJ.

I have had to defend myself a few times lately and each time I repeatedly warned the aggressor. I dropped their asses with upper cuts to the abs. Note, I sized them up as slow and just ignorant, as I am not little nor weak looking. Knowing what to drop them with and knocking the wind out of them got their attention

Did you understand what I knocked them down with ?

As to my boys, they both do BJJ and one has knocked an opponent out with a punch and the other has dropped a bully and cut off his air in seconds.

Got it ? BJJ currently would be your best. Get down. Get dirty. I would say six months and you will be a bit different in your line of thinking.

Lift. Diet. And rest.

Whatever you decide, stick with it and become proficient. Then move on

[–]Over60_FireTempered3Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sometimes it's not the art, but the artist that matters.

The instructor is the key to what you will learn and the way it will be applied. Every martial art has it's pluses and minuses, but some are more sport than application.

Look for an instructor with many years of training, multiple black belts, in more than more discipline and the desire to teach you the ART, along with the ability to deflect, restrain, or destroy one or more aggressors. Many of these guys are older.

If your main goal is to get into fights, instructors like mine will not take you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Boxing/Muay Thai will give you great confidence. Do the sparing to learn distance and timing

No single art will protect you from everything

Bjj is great until it's two angry dudes

Striking is great until you get taken down

Mma is great until someone pulls a knife/gun

[–]sidepiecebandit0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Why the fuck do you care what we think? Too much inaction and passivity. You need to decide what you want. Try both out and see which one aligns best with your goals. Don't ask us to make the choice for you.

[–]BlueMyLoad69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I asked for advice from men who’s opinion I respect, nothing more.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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