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I keep failing her subtle shit tests, take them too seriously

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July 24, 2019
9 upvotes

Hi All,

Reading: The Rational Male (a bit over my head/hard to understand), Art of Seduction and Tactical guide. I've read the side bar, but I have trouble remembering things/lost in the material.

Lifts: 365 Dead, 275 Squat (I've been slacking on squats due to a knee injury) and 265 Bench. BJJ, Muy Thai, Kickboxing.

Lifting 3 days a week, MMA 3-4 days a week. Competing in BJJ in a few months.

During the day yesterday, I texted my wife and told her that I couldn't wait to man handle her that night. It went over well, good response from her. I left it at that, she was busy at work.

She came home, we hit the gym together, dinner, etc.

I yet again failed a shit test/reaction test from my wife. The thing is, I completely identified it as it was happening and instead of laughing it off, I got irritated with her (not irritated, but I didn't use it to my advantage). She was basically talking to coworkers today at work and the discussion was about one of the male coworkers and his new girlfriend.

Apparently the girl is from a really wealthy family. Girl has a wealthy older brother. Wife jokingly mentioned that she wants to double date with them and that her and I would both benefit from it because she would get a bunch of $$ from him. Her tone was definitely in a joking manner and it was super obvious and I responded poorly. It's not that I was mad at what she was saying, I just didn't take advantage of the situation to show abundance mentality. I even got a little defensive. The second I responded, I already knew I fucked up.

There were a number of things I could have said: "Yeah make sure I get a Rolex too with a shit grin on my face", "Do they have another sister? We could really get a lot out of them then", etc. I literally could have said anything besides my negative response. It wasn't until after my response and the convo was almost over that I made the Rolex comment. She still laughed about it, but I've already showed my scarcity mindset, so my comment didn't really hold any ground.

We have both been hitting the gym really hard lately and were exhausted, so after dinner we put on a movie and were about 30 min in, I paused the movie and told my wife to take her clothes off. She surprisingly responded to it, but the sex wasn't all that intense. I went down on her to get her going (which didn't last long, I usually make her orgasm from it, but she obviously just wanted it to be over with) and she told me to put it in. I told her that my dick was dry and she needed to get it going. She gave me a half-assed bj and then we started. She orgasm'd but I could tell she wasn't into it all that much. It was definitely semi-starfish/duty sex.

This is completely different from this past weekend where she had such a violent orgasm and was the loudest she's ever moaned. This was after a week+ of no sex (she was on a business trip).

*Am I looking for sex too often? Should pull back a bit, still initiate, but make it less frequent (at least while I'm trying to reprogram myself). As of recent, when she gives me starfish/duty sex, I try to caveman her and I've been applying that mentality.

I'm starting to recognize and be more aware of these little reaction tests from her, but I keep getting caught in the moment. I'm starting to become more and more aware of things in general. That being said, I feel like my reactions are so far off from my normal self, which is probably so noticeable to her. (my purple pill ways, I was a blue piller during a previous relationship, but have since recognized to put myself first). I think she can sense that I'm working through these and trying to respond to things accordingly, but I still keep fucking it up. I feel like the past several weeks I've been all over the place with how I handle things, that she is taking note and hyper aware of it all.

Here are my other questions:

Everything that I read, it is mentioned that each day starts fresh, we have a reset button.

That being said (trying to figure out how to word this), do the negative ways I handle things stand out a lot more than when I handle things correctly? I can't imagine it being 50/50. I feel like for every negative blue pill responses, I need several alpha/red pill ways to counteract it.

And if so, does 1 day of me applying red pill to future situations really have all that much impact of her views towards me or does one really need months of continuous, everyday red pill days to really make a dent and making a change?

What I'm trying to say is that some days I feel like I have my shit together, abundance mentality, IDGAF, etc and I respond well to her shit/reaction tests and other days are like this situation where I completely drop the ball.

For example: I've been doing MMA for a few months now and I brought the wife to a kickboxing class (she needs to lose another 10 pounds or so) so she could get a great cardio workout in. One of the trainers is an amazing martial artist and she made a comment like "oh, maybe I need him to train me" and I completely laughed it off/responded well ( I think I mentioned that yeah he's good, but have you gotten a whiff of him? The guy is a really stinky person), regained frame a bit.

I've read that certain situations you can be more alpha and stand out over others (and ultimately be more attractive to your wife) and in situations like this (me being a new MMA student) I'm seen as less alpha because of the environment and my lack of skill. So, the females hypergamous nature, she is naturally drawn to the "alpha" in the room.

How are you supposed to handle these situations? I'm on my mission (one being to get really good at MMA) and I have that goal oriented mentality, but I'm not really sure how to be more alpha in a situation where I'm on the lower end of the food chain.

I also feel like I'm still in red pill rage and it's haunting me. It actually making me over think things more. I'm already an over analytical person to begin with (as you can tell with this post), so this red pill rage doesn't help.


Post Information
Title I keep failing her subtle shit tests, take them too seriously
Author ke3bsf6
Upvotes 9
Comments 37
Date 24 July 2019 12:01 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/246437
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/ch7a2g/i_keep_failing_her_subtle_shit_tests_take_them/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
alphaabundancescarcityframehypergamyshit testliftthe purple pillthe red pillthe blue pill
Comments

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

What you want to know is this..

.. If I push button "A" and I don't get an "A" reaction from her, should I push button "B" to see if I get a "B" reaction or should I push button "A" continuously until I get the "A" reaction I was looking for?

The answer is this - quit pushing fucking buttons looking for a reaction. Do what you want to do, do what you enjoy. If she wants to come along for the ride, then good. The only button you should have your finger anywhere near is the "eject" button.

[–]umizumiz8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Bro, you're doing much better than many posters I've seen. It's hard to explain exactly how much better your grasp of the concepts are than the "typical" poster.

You said it yourself, you were EXHAUSTED. So was she, sex is calorie intensive. Cut her a little slack there. She obviously is attracted to you if "take your clothes off" works... lol

You even recognized when you got butthurt and threw in the Rolex comment, WHICH SHE POSITIVELY RESPONDED TO. Great.

Start fresh everyday. Women are solipsistic(sp). She doesn't remember your conversation from last night in a negative light, because the last emotion SHE RECEIVED from the convo was laughter, brevity, comradery.

Chill out, my dude. You're killing this shit. Keep it up, and keep moving forward.

spez: by "typical", i mean first posts or the classic "10th post but still not getting it at all"

[–]useful_stranger10 points11 points  (20 children) | Copy

You definitely suffer from being too smart/ analytical. Need to quiet that shit down. Calm the fuck down. Meditate if you don’t have access to some good drugs.

Bottom line: and you’ll hate hearing it: you’re mentally in her frame. You think too much about her; what she’ll do, what she’ll say, what you’ll say in response, when you’ll fuck her next; wether you should fuck her at all etc.

Get away from her for a few days. Go see an old friend. Take a trip by yourself. Go on a fishing/ hunting/ sailing/ biking etc trip with the guys.

Your whole approach seems to be one of “see, see, I am doing all these things. Aren’t I amazing ?” That’s deeply seeded validation seeking beta shit. Gotta stop caring so much, and you’ll be much more relaxed and happier.

[–]helaughsinhidden3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

I feel like for every negative blue pill responses, I need several alpha/red pill ways to counteract it.

You can sum up all of your struggles by saying that you lack abundance. You are too insecure, which makes it too difficult to take her down from the pedestal, too neurotic to shut up your hamster, too weak to get out of her frame, too needy to NGAF, seek her validation so you needed her buy-in to your contact sport, and that's why you are also trying to overcompensate blue pill responses with multiple red pill ones. You don't actually believe you are the prize, so if you fix that, the rest will fall into place better.

[–]umizumiz1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

What's your height and weight? Nice lifts, unless you're 6' 4" 265 lol

Ok, now I'll read the rest. Didn't want to forget to ask that.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Nice lifts.

You need to chill the fuck out and drop any expectation of what she should do in response to your words, actions, etc. Those are covert contracts.

Stop over analyzing everything, have fun, be fun. Stop doing this to get HER to fuck you more, or better, or whatever.

[–]mrpthrowa1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You analyse everything

Chill

[–]SoggyTrainCucked by machines1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

There was a recent post from a guy who had completely transformed his entire self and relationship over the course the year. He got compliments everywhere he went. During the entire time, not one word of support or compliment from his wife. You could become a world champion BJJ or whatever the fuck you do, gain 50 lbs of muscle and be 4% BF and there is a chance she may never say a word about it. Who gives a fuck tho, you would still be a ripped monster.

[–]Tbonesupreme1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"If I'm going to be a pimp, I'm going to need more than one hoe."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I feel like for every negative blue pill responses, I need several alpha/red pill ways to counteract it.

Trying to keep score is a surefire way to remain stuck in her frame.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You tell her you’re going to pound her. Of course, she’s going to see how real you are.

Don’t mix dating and sex is my advice (covert contract)-guaranteed she saw your anger even if you think you played it off. Pound her when she comes home.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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