The Number 1 Turn Off I Keep Hearing From Women

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Boo-urns1
July 24, 2019
799 upvotes
TheRedPill

I have talked to many women about men, and it is shocking how true red pill views are when the truth comes out. There is one trait I keep hearing time and time again from women of all types that causes them to break off from a man.

​

Indecisiveness.

​

Their man is indecisive and does not take charge of the situation.

You don't decide where you're both eating for dinner enough times and she can't take it anymore. You don't decide on key life choices or what is best for the both of you, she dumps you for a man that takes charge of every situation he's in. She sees that you're not taking charge at work and are complaining to her about your indecisiveness. Be aware at all times of it.

So remember, don't hesitate on saying what you're BOTH doing. Tell her where you're taking her to dinner and what time and how you're going to fuck her after. Tell her where you're both moving because of the awesome new job you got. If you don't understand her well enough to not have to ask her what she wants, it's already too late.

So be decisive in everything you do in life. Women will be all over you for it.


Post Information
Title The Number 1 Turn Off I Keep Hearing From Women
Author Boo-urns1
Upvotes 799
Comments 112
Date 24 July 2019 03:03 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/246503
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/ch9bee/the_number_1_turn_off_i_keep_hearing_from_women/
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Comments

[–]huggyblossom331 points332 points  (41 children) | Copy

To add up, stop with the pointless chatting and talking - it's useless and it's a major turn off for literally every women you want to have sex with.

​

If you want to orbit her, over validate her, over invest in her or white knight her go on and do not be unaware where your lack of sex is coming from.

[–]1swampbastard69106 points107 points  (2 children) | Copy

this is a rarely spoken about point and should have its own post. Create a mysterious nature not by trying to be mysterious, but just shutting your fucking yapper.

[–]meat-slinger12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

keeping it shut is a gem. this past three months I have had two women call me 'very secretive'

[–]menial_optimist24 points25 points  (2 children) | Copy

Reminds me of a guy in one of my classes. His name is Chris. Typical nice guy, and always waiting for Muriel, a 6.9/10 5"0 asian girl. He'll always sit beside her, and they're friends. I could tell from the beginning he was her orbiter. It's sad to see it in action. One time I was 10 minutes late for class, walking down the hallway, and I hear crying. It's Muriel crying about something, and Chris is standing beside her hugging her telling her it's going to be okay. I immediately thought "consoling her isn't going to get you laid my dude". We had a final today, and Chris was alone, waiting for her outside the exam room when I walked out. A considerable part of his life and energy is spent being around her hoping, waiting, longing for that reciprocation of feelings without ever risking anything on his part.

[–]UpOnCloud919 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

Part of the reason I don't think it's worth guys and girls being friends - it's usually not possible. Someone will develop feelings and orbit.

[–]NorthEasternNomad106 points107 points  (33 children) | Copy

This is important in an LTR. You might think, shes my SO, we can chit chat now.

No. You cant.

If women want small talk they've got other women for that. A man looking to make small talk comes off as insecure and desperate for attention.

Call a friend. Get a hobby. Just leave her the fuck alone until date night.

[–]dukes1998272 points273 points  (27 children) | Copy

A man looking to make small talk comes off as insecure and desperate for attention.

This is so objectively false. Especially in terms of an LTR. You’re not always gonna have new and fun shit to talk about if you see her all the time, that doesn’t mean you just stop talking.

Small talk is important in a lot of ways and as much as the introverts here fetishize the cool mysterious guy who doesn’t talk much, 9/10 you’re gonna come off like a boring, shy loser.

[–]timjr250088 points89 points  (10 children) | Copy

I agree. You don’t have to share everything that happens in your life every minute, but a woman wants someone working hard who has life experiences to share with them too, especially in an LTR. Talking for the sake of talking is never attractive, but saying “don’t bother them until date night” is pretty unrealistic.

[–]dukes199856 points57 points  (6 children) | Copy

Yeah it’s just like when you hear guys on here saying that you should only text for logistics. Completely nonsensical.

[–]DoneScannedIt 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

only text for logistics. Completely nonsensical

TL;DR: It's not nonsense. But how you apply it makes all the difference.

I've said this logistics thing and stand by it, but you also have to use common sense and balance.

For a person that's trying to meet women, too much text between 1st contact and meeting with result in a much higher number of ghosts.

If you are trying to get to that first date, the familiarity that comes from having emotionally stilted convos, without the context of body language, will absolutely kill your chances. Even if you meet a woman IRL, all you need is just enough contact, so it doesn't look like you dropped from the earth.

Once you reach the first date and beyond, of course you adapt to the new situation.

​

The other part of this is that you don't have to vomit every emotional thought you have in your head. You choose.

You actively think about what you want to come out of your mouth, instead of saying whatever's on your mind. You don't detail every nuance of your motivations or plans. You keep all that drama and mental footwork quiet and you let others see who and what you are, instead of hearing it. It doesn't mean you don't do small talk. It doesn't mean you have to be a brick wall. Just *always* regulate, what's coming out of your mouth.

[–]TheBearJew677915 points16 points  (4 children) | Copy

I disagree with just about all of this. I text just about nonstop with the chicks I match with on Tinder/Bumble, whatever. When I'm busy and don't, they end up bombarding me for attention. When I'm with a girl, I say what I think and feel with absolutely zero interest in her opinion on the matter. I always control the flow of conversation and interaction. Guess what? Chicks love it. They want a guy to open up to them, just not to be feminine and girly about it by complaining and appearing weak. The mysterious guy thing may look neat in movies or TV shows, but in reality it just makes you appear sociopathic at worst and dimwitted at best to the instagram generation who thrive on constant attention and instant interaction.

[–]morescoobysnacks 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

if a girl matches you on tinder, she's super attracted to you. in those cases the hardest parts are already over and you're just building comfort so it's not as bad. but you leave the internet and you'll have a lot of girls on the fence. this is where you need game. and txting them for anything but logistics ends up working against you.

[–]unkg7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

"if a girl matches you on tinder, she's super attracted to you. in those cases the hardest parts are already over" - this is not true. A very big number of girls just want validation and attention. Sure, they think you look good if they match with you, but that means fuck all. You are just another validation and attention source, or worse, someone they use for entertainment with no other intention on anything further. The hardest part is actually after you match with a girl; you have to weed out the attention whores and build just enough rapport to go on a date. Anything you say from there can fuck up any progress you made.

[–]PrayShes182 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

to the instagram generation

absolutely vital to understand this is where alot of people get it wrong when interacting with a dopamine-driven demographic.

[–]NYCSPARKLE27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy

Talking to them about something interesting is fine.

"don't bother them" is the key point. You should never initiate small talk with a woman, even a LTR.

Think about your grandpa or another strong male role model in your life. Do you think they ever just randomly call or text their wives or women with something along the lines of "hey whatcha doin'?" NOPE. And you shouldn't either.

Daily texting with your girl should be logistics, sexting, maybe some witty banter if they reach out to you first.

[–]Dickwad17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy

a woman wants someone working hard

No they definitely do not. They want the guys who make life look effortless.

[–]timjr25008 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can concede that, however I meant more in the context of not having anything interesting in your life, or being passionate about something enough to have new things to discuss or humblebrag. They want the fantasy of you being able to show them the world, your meeting people, making things happen for yourself and they’ll get swept up in your life actions. That is hard work for most people.

[–]NorthEasternNomad15 points16 points  (6 children) | Copy

I should clarify: be mindful of how much, and how often, where chit chat is concerned. "Never" is extremist, I admit, though it cuts to the point: to her, it should seem like never, or rare occasions, at most.

[–]dukes199819 points20 points  (5 children) | Copy

I really just don’t get this at all. If you’re ignoring her till date night and then not really trying to make any conversation when date night comes, she’s not gonna want to fuck you. Odds are you’re not hot enough to pull the disinterested act and still close. And even the hot guys who do close will do so in spite of their lack of interest or personality.

Additionally you’re not gonna be having deep philosophical talks with a plate, or a girl you just met that you’re trying to make a plate. You have to make them comfortable and an easy way to do that is having a lighthearted laid back conversation Thatd you’d probably call “chit chat”.

[–]drallcom3 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

It's because "Don't talk" or "Let her do all the talking" is pure bullshit advice. Have you been at any party? It's always the guy who talks the most who gets the girl. The quiet guy, even if he's ripped, will have to get very lucky.

Small talk is really important. You need to talk about banalities to give nature time to take it's course. Better advice would be to talk, but avoid heavy topics and your insecurities. I once rambled about some nerdy stuff and later she confessed she found my passionate way of talking about it attractive. Just talk, doesn't matter much what it's about.

[–]folded1000time7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

The truth is it's about dominance. Whether to talk or not is situational.

[–]throwabcdaway4 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Ive gotten girls by literally talking as litlle as possible. Less than the beta who wanted to impress.

[–]NorthEasternNomad8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the point. The heart of it: know when to shut up.

[–]sebbegerbert12 points13 points  (3 children) | Copy

This^ Also if it is just a plate or fwb you can still small talk and be decisive. They are not mutualy exclusive. Life isn’t black and white small talk is good for some situations. The more time you spend with a person the more small talk. Especially when you’re younger and don’t have 100s of go to stories and anecdotes to pull from.

Though it is easy to overdo small talk so keep an eye out for that.

[–]dukes199822 points23 points  (2 children) | Copy

A lot of girls, even fwb, are gonna be massively turned off if the guy they’re fucking only wants sex and doesn’t give a fuck about them. It’s gonna make them feel like whores and that’s never what you want from your girls.

Even just some small talk about their life or things they’re interested in is gonna allow them to feel comfortable that you’re not just in it for sex, or at least have something they can look to (even just a causal conversation) when they’re rationalizing that you’re not just in it for the sex

[–]oooKenshiooo0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

They don't mind if you are just in it for the sex.

Actually that is highly attractive, as long as you are attractive enough to tick enough of her boxes whilst being only in it for sex.

If you are alpha enough, it overrides any of her concerns and makes your every interaction like crack to her.

[–]dukes19980 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s not highly attractive. Putting up with it /= being attracted. Also the whole “if ur alpha enuf” argument is something you’ll read here but isn’t actually true. If you’re very up front about your intentions to just have casual sex they may accept it but they won’t like it.

[–]NYCSPARKLE10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy

looking to make small talk is the point.

Not saying you can't ever talk to your plate or LTR, you just can't be initiating it randomly.

Think about it: no one really likes this except girls when speaking to other girls.

No guy likes small talking; and no girl likes getting bothered by a guy with a text like "hey there, whatcha doin'?" That shit is a panty dryer for sure.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nah. U just sass the shit out of her. Theres a reason why girls claim to want a solid "roast to romance ratio"

[–]dukes19980 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah that’s not even like small talk though that’s just asking random bullshit in an attempt to make conversation

[–]NYCSPARKLE6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

That is literally the definition of small talk.

Avoid small talk / chit chatting is the point. The point is not "never talk to a girl."

Doesn't need to be a big argument.

[–]Cryptoguru7772 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

LTR is an exception, I agree. You cant remain mysterious forever. At some point she will know most of you. That doesn't mean you have to stop being dominant and decisive. If she stays with you at this point she just genuinely likes you or what you provide her with.

[–]praxeologue29 points30 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wish I learned this 10 years ago.

[–]NorthEasternNomad10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's a lesson I've learned the hard way, too

[–]Chaddeus_Rex2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just leave her the fuck alone until date night.

Not true. If u dont text her periodically (unless uve smashed), then u will lose her even if u make a date.

Why do you lose her? Bc she will forget abt u (she gets over stimulated so a guy she hasnt met let alone fucked wont stand out in her memory. Also, some girls are super insecure and will assume u arent interested so theyll make other plans for the day ur supposed to meet - happened to me.

Solution: text them a bit every day with jokes. And blame them for trying to seduce u and say u arent like those other guys.

[–]red2hilt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is important in an LTR. You might think, shes my SO, we can chit chat now.

No. You cant.

By LTR, you're talking about a realdoll, right? Humans are fun to chat with.

[–]xoxuv1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

the pointless chatting and talking

The pointless chatting and talking is just a layer, over which you deliver your seduction.

You talk about banalities, but with a voice tone, and corporal language that communicates arousal. Sex.

Due to transference of state, she gets turned on slooowly, and you use it to escalate physically.

You talk and touch her. You reprehend her for a mocked fault and put his hair on his face as punishment.

​

Is important to maintain a pointless chat, but only to deliver your game.

[–]ihaphleas58 points59 points  (6 children) | Copy

Women are attracted to power. Different types of power attract different women more or less. What is "power?" Borrowing from physics (which borrowed from standard usage), power is the ability to get work done quickly.

Being indecisive will really affect a man's ability to get shit done quickly. Not that women always want a man to do things fast, but decisiveness, strength, wealth, friends, political power, high ranking job, confidence (from having succeeding in doing the thing before) ... all of these indicate or are a form of power.

Power is good, power simply means that your able to do the things that need (or you want) to be done for yourself and your friends. Become as powerful as you can ... as long as your not actively harming others, you're making the entire world a better place by providing more value.

[–]Nicolas063126 points27 points  (5 children) | Copy

You have to be decisive AND successful. You have to choose the restaurant and the date and what to do on the weekend and she has to like it.

if you make it disatisfying that's your fault and you failed.

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

Doesn't matter if she likes it, what matters is if she likes you. Who you're with makes a huge difference in whether you're having a good time or not. You're right but you seem to be emphasizing the importance of the location which is secondary at best. Have you never been in a crappy place but had fun because of who you were with? That's the aim.

[–]wrightedgeworthy7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

LOL, have you ever been dating before? what matter is whether the date is satisfying for YOU not her. I cannot even stress this enough as woman catch whether we have fun or just try to appease them.

Their fun is coming from us having fun and they go along with the mood. Would you believe me if I said I can get girl to say shit street food is delicious if I looks like I enjoy eating it? that's how Apple marketing works

[–]ihaphleas3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Others have already added partial corrections, but I'll add mine. You're not really wrong, but you need to go another layer deeper (besides it being important that *you* enjoy yourself).

You will fail. That's a fact of life. Lifting (and school and million other things) should have taught you that already. Another quality (besides intelligence) that I didn't mention is resilience. You fail, you don't break. You get up and make the best of it.

The wine isn't good? It's not the end of the world, it doesn't even ruin the night or the date or really even affect you (although you can sometimes show that you can feign angriness to get what you want ... or even actually *be* angry when it really matters).

What might ruin a date for some guys (or break their confidence), is just an excuse for you to share the better whiskey you have at home.

[–]zurow 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

This is why cold approaching in public can work great if you’re confident in your approach. Right away she will be impressed you were bold enough to approach her but you have to be confident in everything you say and do. Even if she shoots you down stay confident and never apologize or back pedal.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Cold approach doesnt work. Most girls will think its creepy and weird to get approached by a random guy. Some girls even view it as thirsty. Doesnt matter how confident u are if shes not open to it.

EXCEPTION: if you notice her glance in ur direction as you pass by, treat that as an IOI and approach. Then you'll likely have a higher chance to smash, but not always.

[–]umarh0n99 points100 points  (11 children) | Copy

Partly true, Don’t tell them what you’ll going to do, otherwise, you’ll ruin the mystery. Do take the control, do make the decision, but don’t tell her all about them, just lead her to your decision.

[–]renaultcliodriver 1 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy

I disagree.

Say it Follow through

There is nothing people admire more than this. This is why Muhammad Ali used to get men and women awing over him when he'd tell people he'd knock someone out in round 4 and then go and do it.

You can be direct as fuck, tell them, and then follow through, and it's easy. A lot of the shit on here is overcomplicated beyond belief. A woman is going to be far more excited by you pulling her to your side and whispering in her ear, 'I'm going to make your legs shake tonight' than she would if you didn't say it. It's all about calibration to the situation.

Women want assertive, decisive men that know what they want and take no shit.

[–]umarh0n35 points36 points  (6 children) | Copy

It is very attractive at first, but it gets boring over time if you constantly tell people what you are going to do. There is no excitement or mystery, people know what you are going to do.

[–]renaultcliodriver 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

It's attractive because you talk the talk, and then walk the walk. This means you're a man of your word, which is what separates you from the bitches that tell you they're going to the gym every January but don't, and this is admirable.

Secondly, if you consistently follow through, its very attractive, because if you say something like that, she knows she's in for a good time tonight because you always follow through, so she's now suddenly wanting to go home to get her emotional rollercoaster.

As for mystery, this works in spontaneous bursts. Everyone on here overplays the mystery shit when the reality is women read this as inconsistency, mixed signals, and you just come off a socially awkward weirdo who isn't assertive and can't communicate directly.

There's males on Instagram posting all the time and women know what they're doing all the time. There's athletes in multiple industries, there's rockstars, there's people with their life out there but their lives are fun and entertaining and women want those guys with high SMV who are direct, know what they want, assertive, talk the big talk, and walk the big walk.

Mystery is just a crutch for people with boring and shit lives. If you had a good life you'd show it off just like a Porsche because it would only boost your SMV. Would you hide the fact you drive a Porsche to stay mysterious? Of course not.

Also, women will only fill in the gaps when it comes to mystery in a fantasy if you already added pieces to the puzzle. They won't do all the work. You need to create the story, then let them hamster it and fill the rest in with pure fantasy.

This is no different to the retardation on here with stoicism and being assholes, then guys wonder why women ditch them because they have the personality of a paving slab and no charisma because they read Meditations once and took it way too seriously and literal.

[–]umarh0n0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Mystery is just a crutch for people with boring and shit lives. If you had a good life you'd show it off just like a Porsche because it would only boost your SMV. Would you hide the fact you drive a Porsche to stay mysterious? Of course not.

100% true, but let’s be honest here. Not everyone of us here is about that life and attractive women have a endless choice who they can hang out with.

If you are already about that life, you shouldn’t even be worrying about the mystery.

I targeted the rest of us, which makes most of us here, when I was talking about the mystery.

Imagine you exposing your life and another person with a game and wealth exposing his life. It gives a women a power to filter you out and go for that guy.

If you are not about that life, shut the fuck up and keep taking actions, let them wonder what you are all about.

[–]_do_not_read_this_16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

Nope.

This comes up all the time.

"what do you want for dinner"

"I don't know what do you want"

"Do you need to stop at the rest stop?"

"What movie should we go see?"

It's been a literal constant in all my relationships: 1. Women can't make decisions. And 2. Women tell me words to the effect "sounds great babe" or "You decide" or "Whatever you want babe."

One told me the other day "I spend all day making decisions, when I'm with you I'll let you decide"

Women are naturally followers. Fucking lead them.

Down vote for you.

[–]umarh0n5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women are naturally followers. Fucking lead them.

I literally said this in my first comment, lead without explaining what you’re going to do.

And why the fuck would you let the woman decide what you guys will do?

If she asks that kinda of questions just say follow me and lead her to somewhere you want

[–]420KUSHBUSH3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I reckon start with saying what you're going to do to garner rapport and make her comfortable to then transitioning to making it a "spur of the moment" event

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20022 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Spot on. People still talk about Ali's predictions today!

"Actions speak louder than words". Live by that motto and watch your life change. Seriously!

And what you said about being direct and pulling them in? Works 99% of the time. That is what they WANT.

Someone has to show dominance in that scenario - that someone HAS to be you.

[–]celincelin2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t ruin “the mystery” of what you’ll have for dinner, you for real?

[–]esirnus1824 points25 points  (4 children) | Copy

This is so true! My current main plate that I’m seeing regularly (other 2 I’m seeing increasingly less, and less maybe time to upgrade to LTR?) She has two orbiters and one is really pushing for her to be his girlfriend. I asked her why won’t you give “Johnny” a chance and she said “I always have to make decisions when we meet for dinner, bowling...etc. He will spend more time making sure I like the place or keep asking if I’m ok with everything cause he can change the place if I want to and it’s so exhausting to keep making all these decisions why can’t a guy just lead and be a man”

Some years ago I used to be like Johnny I would make sure my little princes is happy with every choice I’ve made, now I just say “hey I’m here...(enter place whatever) come. She usually comes then I’m just saying let’s get outa here and we go and she follows. When she asks to go to her gym to work out with her I simply say “no thanks” I don’t even need to explain myself it leave her guessing. The reason is stupid - her gym sucks and everyone there is just making fucking selfies and pretend to look cool, and there is no squat rack.

Be yourself. Don’t be her boyfriend, let her be your girlfriend.

[–]Yolandiiii3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Serious question, I'm uninitiated, why even allow her to have these orbiters?

[–]esirnus186 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

To be honest I like it, they basically do the shitty half of relationship and take her for ice cream, listen to her stupid stories...etc i don't have to do that. Of course i've seen them in person and one looks like a lesbian woman and other like cross between mongolian and horse, unibrow and all so i know she wont fuck them. Even if she did I don't care were not exclusive

[–]ElijahBurningWoods2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's just a plate. This guy has options and this gives him an abundance mentality. Women have a platingtheory on their own. It's very egocentric if you think you're allowed to have multiple plates and she is not.

[–]Sisyphus_XIV49 points50 points  (1 child) | Copy

Good post. For me, this is THE RP truth that most changed my life. For those still struggling, No More Mr Nice Guy is an absolute great read.

[–]Bear-With-Bit23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

Woman: "What should we have for dinner?"

Man: "McDonald's."

Woman: "I don't want that."

Man: "Okay, you can get whatever you want. I'm heading out now to get some McNuggets. Lmk if you change your mind and want something from there."

Woman: (pikachiu surprised face)

Subsequent lesson is: Be decisive and follow through.

[–]Dls9540522 points23 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm not indecisive. There is no fucking way I'll monitor myself that much. I will never get involved again with a moronic thot who can't stop spewing her emotional shit because she thinks that's a privilege of being in a relationship. They've become like insufferable children.

[–]russian_nigger7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

yeah i dunno what the fuck happened in the last decade, but its like their collective IQ has been slaloming down.

[–]isthattheguy 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy

Do not tell her “what you’re going to do with her afterwards”. Just please don’t.

[–]Flawless4433 points34 points  (2 children) | Copy

Unless you already have that kind of rapport..

[–]1redhawkes22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

No matter what, the unpredictability will keep her wet, just give her enough to spin the hamster.

Ass slap and strong eye contact afterwards will do more than talking yourself into her panties.

[–]TwentyEighteen7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah that’s some pseudo alpha shit

[–]AllThatJack17 points18 points  (7 children) | Copy

This is just enormous. I’ve dated sooo many women and have been told consistently “You’re the man”. Simply because I have one question when it comes time for dinner (either in or out). Do you have any food allergies? Next, Do you like to dance?

Never ask a woman what she’d like to do, where she’d like to go, any of it. It’s simply not necessary. She wants you to manage it all. Do it well and you will get laid every time. Do it poorly and yes, she’ll find another man.

Blew my mind when I made this realization. It’s ridiculously simple. If she doesn’t eat seafood yet you insist on constantly taking her to seafood joints, you’re an idiot.

My biggest issue when dating women is picky eaters. I usually find this out in the interview phase. Why? I’m a foodie, who loves to cook and dine out. Food is an adventure to me. Also, I can say, hands down, a woman who will join you in this? For me, has alway’s proven to be just as adventurous in bed.

That’s been my experience.

[–]mrevr3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Are you saying a woman who likes food is adventurous in bed ?

[–]Project_Zero_Betas9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Corned beef is the most sensatious of all the salted meats."

[–]NameUser184 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think he means women who enjoy trying new foods tend to also like trying new stuff in bed. He’s not saying women who gorge on good and get fat is adventurous in bed.

[–]AllThatJack2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

And yeah, agreed. I’m not referring to gluttony but being open to new experiences. Definitely.

[–]WoodleyWarrior854 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

It’s simply not necessary. She wants you to manage it all. Do it well and you will get laid every time.

Wait, managing tasks on behalf of women is considered 'alpha' now?

Look, I get what you're saying. You want to provide direction in a relationship, and come across as a guy who knows what he wants. That's obviously good.

But too often on these forums I see advice like: "You must always choose the restaurant/movie/activity when you go out with women. This shows leadership."

In reality, this isn't how normal people make plans. If your girl is craving a hamburger on Friday night, are you going to override her and insist on Thai food, just to show your frame is stronger? Thats just unnecessary and weird.

Also, is choosing restaurants such an alpha trait? What are we, alpha foodies? Lol. I get that you want to assert control over the date, but there are ways to do that other than insisting on going to a restaurant you Googled for 3 minutes.

By all means provide direction and keep a strong frame. But over analyzing date logistics is stupid. Some of the logistical stuff you need to let happen naturally.

[–]AllThatJack1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed wholeheartedly. It’s not about being a prick, lol. I think overanalyzing any of this is a disorder many of us fall prey to. It’s a generalization and it works well. I believe the point is, on the whole, they love for us to lead. However, there are plenty of times they’ll jump in and take part.

Great point and re Alpha trait? Sure I’m certain having a plan in most/all situations is. I think that word is highly overused as well. But, my point is, it can’t be understated that women love it when the man sets up a great date.

That’s a little different to every minute every day controlling every move....

My whole thing is seek balance and it alway’s will be.

[–]zboo1h48 points49 points  (4 children) | Copy

Women told me their biggest turnoff is too many muscles and an arrogant cockiness.

​

Also women lie about literally everything, including their eyebrows.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

So they like muscles and cockiness?

[–]Cryptoguru7772 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women like muscles and cockiness, I'm living proof and give fuck all if they say that.

​

This doesn't mean you need to go full blown steroids, just a natural fit/muscular look.

[–]sebbegerbert9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Probably just because they met you

[–]_do_not_read_this_13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's super important to be aware of this. It can come up at any time. Ask, and if she's indecisive, make the damn decision.

Solid post. Brief and to the point.

[–]Malactha36 points37 points  (11 children) | Copy

This is totally true. Women want an adventure but they are incapable of leading such an event. If she doesn't want to do it, leave her behind and do it by yourself. Most of the time they will go. Taking them out to do the fun stuff you want gets them all creamy.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great post

Being absolutely confident and decisive in relationships with women make wonders

[–]akrc9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Me:"Do you want go for nachoes or ribs?" Her:"IDK , you choose ..." Me:"Nachoes then." Her:"NOAHHHHHHH"

[–]_do_not_read_this_10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

You: too fucking bad, we're getting nachos.

[–]BigWeenus421 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You chose nachos over sweet, tender, ribs?

Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame.

[–]Iamthespiderbro7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seriously. I’ve been successful on the dating scene for about 7 years now (not so much at the beginning), and this really is what will set you apart. Especially in big cities that are full of soy boys who are scared of their own shadows. I’ve heard it time and time again on dates. The worst decision you can make is indecision. Make a move, take the lead, and trust your instincts. Even if she questions you afterwards, stand firm. You know better and she will melt for you if you take charge.

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

True. This is also a reason why it is best to do what you want to do.
For example: Let's go to x. Nah, I like y more. Ok, I'm going to x.

Even if she doesn't want to come along it's still what you want. Especially pertinent when coming to choosing restaurants on cheat days. Nothing makes me more irritable than a wasted cheat meal cause it was shitty.

[–]Endorsed ContributorWoujo5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here is a brief passage from an article I am working on:

​

Betas often have a slight feeling, sometimes from the deepest reaches of their subconscious, that there may be something better that they should be doing. This feeling is existential anxiety. Almost everybody has this deep desire to change their path to a better one, but they have no idea what a “better” path would even be, so they rely on the alpha. In exchange for conformity and obedience, the alpha male alleviates the betas’ existential anxiety by offering them a better path that leads to desirable purposes with no anxiety. When the alpha male insists on the superiority of his purposes, it confirms the betas’ sneaking suspicion that there is a better emotional experience for them. If a man bends to the betas’ purposes, he is not attractive because he is not offering them a superior emotional experience; they are just getting the same emotional experience they were getting before. A man who bends to others’ purposes will be processed by the everybody’s subconscious minds as a beta.

​

Men often become frustrated when a woman won’t say where she wants to have dinner. Women want men to take the lead and pick a restaurant, not because women need men to tell them what to eat. Women decide what to eat all the time without help from men. The problem is that women, like everybody else, do not know what to do in life, period. And if the man does not have a strong opinion of where to go eat, then her subconscious will assume he cannot lead in any other aspect of life and she will constantly be tormented by existential anxiety. It may sound silly and over-dramatic, but when you pick a restaurant for a woman you are literally communicating that you can create a “safe” reality for her.

[–]TBtgoat5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great leaders think fast and move faster. This isn't limited to women. People will gravitate towards you in life if you can stay collected and take action. Make the decision that feels right at the moment. Execute and follow to the end. If you recognize a better alternative halfway through, learn from it for next time and quickly resume executing your plan.

[–]Useles6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

TL;DR - don't be needy, either.

The #1 turnoff I heard from women was when the guy was too needy, especially too quickly. Women crave the attention of a high-value man, and neediness is the fastest way to shoo her attention elsewhere.

IMHO, neediness and indecisiveness go hand in hand - needing someone else to make a decision really, really turns women off. The solution is pretty easy - take dinner for example. If you can think of one place to eat, surely you can think of two. If you can't pick between the two, give her a choice, which is far better than indecisiveness.

Anecdote: I plated this girl for a fairly long stretch - regular, good sex on demand. When we first went out, I just told her to be dressed and ready at 7, Italian for dinner. As she sat for dinner, she literally said she appreciated not having to choose where to eat or what to do. A couple hours later, and she was extremely eager when we got back to my place.

She was clearly turned on by the fact that she was not my #1 priority. It turned a lot of our conversations into her begging to come fuck me. We were casual, and she went on dates with some other guys. But she would, time and time again, complain about how needy guys were. Or how they couldn't figure out what to do, and she would have to plan an evening.

What is "neediness?" It's stepping aside and letting her lead. It tells a woman that you are lower value than her. And we all know women don't fuck down.

[–]wildogbilly3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree to an extent. I am a manager at work. I tell people what to do, and in many cases l have to think for them too. I admit when dealing with women, I don't feel like making every fucking mundane decision. I just want to eat.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

So per contrast, decisiveness is the most attractive trait?

[–]Final_Pantasy5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is literally why I got dumped from all my relationships in my blue pill phase when I was younger.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also makes an awful boss/leader

[–]THEdirtyDotterFUCKr2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I usually ask what type of cuisine they want "Mexican or Italian?" Then I decide where to go, and usually the cuisines are one of two that I want. If she suggests a specific place like "the new Indian restaurant in midtown" I file that away as a place to take her as a reward for good behavior.

You can take charge and still be mysterious

[–]TruthSeekingPerson4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

If two people are attracted talking can only fuck it up. Women are impulsive creatures. They don’t want to talk about the past or the future. It’s in their DNA to seduce men and they do that by distracting him from the consequences of sleeping with her. Guys that actually think before they do things aren’t as easy to manipulate and trap.

Lust is a temporary emotion. You have to act on it when it’s there, if you hesitate it could be lost.

[–]newacc4newlife1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not just with women
Be decisive in your fucking life, take what YOU want, do things the way YOU want
So many guys can't voice their opinion over it's insane
"Whatever you want" they say, showing they are beta to no end

[–]Kaizen2_01 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know my post is a bit late to the party but my ex gf mentioned she hated this about me when we had our break-up fight. I'm curious what your take is on when they say decisiveness pisses them off. Maybe finding me too controlling.

She said something along the lines of "I hate how you always take control of the situation. It's always what you want to do and you don't bend at all".

Is her anger just some bs? Something she hoped I'd soften on so she could gain some power in the relationship?

[–]heartbroken_nerd1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You had me until the "tell her everything about how you're an autistic tryhard and plan every step of the way before the date".

Dumbassery.

To clarify, yes, you should plan it out but don't fucking tell her, what are you trying to do, destroy all the fun and mystery?

[–]OSaraiva1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Couldn't care less, if she wants to eat with me, she can suggest and i may agree, or else dinner at my place as i like it.

Otherwise, i eat everyday anyways.

Thing is, you're responsible for yourself. I may suggest sometimes an activity or dinner if i find it interesting or feel like, but i will not carry the burden of making a woman happy. Neither should you.

[–]EyeInEl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Same, keep hearing it as the number one turn off and I cant blame them either. Its a turn off for me when a women is indecisive about everything. I dont just mean about what they want to do in life (frankly I've no idea what I what to do with my life life right now - or at least I'm torn between a couple of options) but when they literally cannot make a decision by themselves, its a character flaw.

[–]bam95450 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Currently working on this. It’s tough out here when you’re a perfectionist who always wants to make the best decisions. But it helps to remember that life happens and time is of the essence. Your decision may not always be the best one but at least you made one in time. If it’s bad you can learn from it.

[–]plentyoffishes0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do you guys like women who are indecisive? I personally find it incredibly annoying and a turnoff.

[–]redvelvet_oreo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You don't decide where you're both eating for dinner enough times and she can't take it anymore. You don't decide on key life choices or what is best for the both of you, she dumps you for a man that takes charge of every situation he's in. She sees that you're not taking charge at work and are complaining to her about your indecisiveness. Be aware at all times of it.

Take note that some of these bitches now at days arent the easiest to deal with and lead so to speak. I found making decisions and leading early on especially plating works no issue. If you wind up getting into an LTR depending how "woke" your bitch is she will start being difficult to lead. Always questions or countering your decision on where to go or what to eat. I can understand if your only always doing what you want it can get a bit onsided in an LTR you should give in once a blue but be weary of the girls who will fight you on every step of the way because some bullshit magazine told her she needs to be an "alpha female." If this happens you need to double down on you dominance or eventually let her go. It will be come an annoyance fast enough to deal with the constant bullshit.

[–]sacbite-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Of course, you can make the wrong decision, too. And be a bully. And an asshole.



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