It's three in the morning, three months ago. I'm in my underwear, in a dimly lit room aided only by the light of my computer screen. If I don't get to sleep soon, I won't get my four hours of sleep. That's all I need anyways.

I have seven tabs open. Now eight. My brain is flooded with dopamine as he is now picturing himself with a harem of women. I am no longer me. An abstraction until he notices me in the mirror. We're reacquainted.

"What the fuck am I doing?"

The screen fades to black. He and I are now alone, staring at eachother across the information highway. At such a distance, we can barely recognize eachother. Disgusted, naked, and with a throbbing erection, we go to bed. Everything will be ok in the morning. Thank God I got off Amazon before I bought anything.

Capitalism operates by playing to your insecurities while simultaneously causing them. The solution and the source of all of your problems. Old Spice commercials feature a hypermasculine, high energy, male implying he's going to have sex with your girlfriend. The only way to stop it? Use Old Spice. Duh. It will make you stand out.

Kia was running a commercial for a new car a couple of years ago. In traffic, a man can be heard singing. Sweet Caroline. He appears to occupy his own little world until the woman he's entitled to pulls up next to him at the light. She starts singing too. They get married, have two kids and a dog, two white collar jobs and one dies six months after the other, surrounded by their loving kids who always call them.

Of course this man wasn't going to die alone. He had a pure soul. In fact, he had a Kia Soul.

Many examples could be used to demonstrate my point, but the underlying theme of nearly any commercial is that you are what you consume. So, consume as much as possible while you're here, and become the best version of yourself. That dope jacket you have is an expression of your individuality, and you'd be crazy to not get it because all the popular fashion blogs were telling you to get it.

Speaking of the blogs, you're a Red Piller damnit, so where are your women? Nowhere to be seen? It might have something to do with the fact that if you were subjected to a personality test your primary concern would be how it aligns with "Alpha" ideals. Because you're a consumer. You identify yourself with your views on intersexual dynamics? That's pretty gay dude.

That being said, don't go out telling people your newfound desire to only wear black t-shirts, doing drugs all the time while living in your tiny house where you smash a different girl every day. If you let everyone in on the secret they'll start doing it too, and then you'll have to find something else to make you different and interesting. Be a quiet little revolutionary.