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Wife’s a lazy in bed. Do you acknowledge low quality sex

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July 23, 2019
12 upvotes

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Title Wife’s a lazy in bed. Do you acknowledge low quality sex
Author coinbaserep
Upvotes 12
Comments 24
Date 23 July 2019 02:30 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/246619
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/cgtbws/wifes_a_lazy_in_bed_do_you_acknowledge_low/
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Comments

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (5 children) | Copy

Quantity of sex is there. Just need quality after 18 years with her I need to make it exciting and fun

After what I've seen with my wife and her enthusiasm I think there's two basic elements:

1) You have to be attractive - physically, mentally, and emotionally

2) You have to lead her in the bedroom

On #1

I relied. “your lazy”

I know I fucked up with how fast I reacted but I just replied “ I’m going to bed”

But then said some stupid shit like “Yeah so what I worked hard all day and it would have liked my wife climb on top and do the work for a change “

Is NOT attractive'

On #2

How have you lead her here? If she starts starfish, caveman on her, pull her on top of you and tell her to fuck you? You can't lead her/demand things when she's not turned on - you need to do it in the act - when her conscious brain shuts down and her hind-brain takes over. Once you push her boundary... guess what? There's no more boundary.

[–]IncitingDramah4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

DING DING DING!!!! Hitting the nail on the fucking head!

Also, I'd start praising her when she makes an effort to do the things you want. You have to realize that feminine energy grows from praise.

[–]coinbaserep6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah I had one big fat covert contract last night

“Look at me all hail the king” fuck me while lay here

I can get her to the point where there is no boundaries and it’s amazing

Last night I was exhausted and wanted to the results with no effort

If I’m ever going to get her to the point she’s jumping me and not just being receptive to my advances I need to up my game , fitness and dread.

The only time she put in a lot of effort and fucks like her life defends on it (where she’s doing most of the work) is when I’m creating dread

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

If I’m ever going to get her to the point she’s jumping me

Why do you want this? Figure that out first - my guess is it's validation/ego. I know for me it was. My wife initiated twice... in two days but not the "I'm going to jump on top of you, rip my clothes off way" . It was much much more subtle. It's funny when you stop 'needing' her to do these type of things, she starts doing them.

[–]coinbaserep2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I would agree it ego/validation. I really need to work on this.

I’ve even caught myself trying to have sex when I could care less if I got it,

Then even if I get turned down for the sex I didn’t want in the first place. I get pissed

How did you over come ego and validation.

My self life is amazing in comparison to others that have been married this long

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

How did you over come ego and validation.

Be aware when it happens and tell yourself to STFU. It takes time. It still crops up, but once you can recognize it then you can stop that line of thinking.

I’ve even caught myself trying to have sex when I could care less if I got it,

Yep because if we're not fucking X times per week, I'm not high value. At least that was my rationale. Stop the scoreboard in your head. Figure out the core reason you want to have sex - is it validation/ego, is it to hit a magic # of times per week, or is it because you generally want to? If it's not the last one, than don't initiate.

[–]useful_stranger9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

I wouldn’t talk with her about how tired I was. Remember she doesn’t really care. She cares about how you make her feel. When your woman hears you say “I am tired” she hears you say “I am not worthy”. And thus she feels a bit let down, and with a burden on herself she didn’t have before. It’s subtle and even unconscious- bottom line : you lose attraction.

Act and talk like you are full of energy, never tired to give her a good dose of manhood.

Try this : “babe I nailed it today at work I got so much done it’s insane. I would love nothing more than your sweet sweet pussy to be right on top of me” or smth like that. As a matter of fact why don’t you start by eating her out while you’re relaxing laying on your back (have her sit on your face basically) . Get that clit nice and swollen and taste her when she cums. Then just slide her down and she can ride you facing or reverse cow girl if you’d rather look at her ass. Bonus if you have a mirror on your dresser/closet.

Turn her on a bit, then have her do as you please...

[–]Cam_Winston215 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Remember she doesn’t really care. She cares about how you make her feel.

Hand to God, just last week wife & I were chatting, she was talking about another couple and their having problems and if one of them was still in love, blah blah blah, and out of the blue (well, not really out of the blue, I'd seen it on one of the other subs & decided to ponder) I asked "why do you love me? Don't say the kids, that's too easy, if you could sum up in one sentence why you love me, how would you?" Took her less than 15 seconds to say "how you make me feel".

Exact five words.

[–]coinbaserep2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great advice.

It was an amazing work day. I was crushing it all day getting everything done so we could leave on a 2 day trip and I could leave my business unattended while we left.

I should have and could have nailed her and been satisfied. I just fucked up expecting her to do it.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Do you acknowledge low quality sex

I keep score cards on my bedside locker. After sex, I hold up one of the cards, rating her effort out of 10.

[–]coinbaserep1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Are they hand written on pieces of scrap paper ? Or is this something I can order on amazon ?

[–]WolfofAllStreetz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Going to start doing this thx

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret6 points7 points  (7 children) | Copy

Sometimes a man wants to get fucked.

I don't understand any word in that sentence.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

SOMETIMES A MAN WANTS TO GET FUCKED.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Much clearer. Thank you.

See all caps made it better.

Here I thought he wanted his wife to validate his manliness by bouncing up and down.

[–]coinbaserep8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m a validation whore. Follow me on Instagram. please like me

[–]rnsbrum2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

lol

[–]useful_stranger1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

LOL. Dude is bad with words or should look into having her peg him.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like he wants to include a bull in his marriage

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I do. Hahahha

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Cause when I bust my nut, Im raising up off the cot.

[–]Tbonesupreme2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

With my mind on my money, and my money on my mind.

[–]Ketonian_Empire4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Buy a sex position book, tell her to study it, and she will be graded that night. Ha

[–]HB32341 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It sounds a little like you've got two parallel desires. One is to not always lead in sex. The other is to get more validation/admiration/respect for the work you put in. You have tied them together so that when you have to take the active role in sex, you feel your other efforts are unappreciated.

If you come to your wife with both of these desires still tangled up, she will naturally recoil. Women hate validation sex, because suddenly we are just a prop to the real experience... Your focus is the validation, not the sex.

For an affectionate wife, a tired but horny husband is an instant cue for oral. If she's otherwise devoted and wants to please you, there are probably some fun/ flirt/ dominant ways to get her to this conclusion. I am sure the men here can guide you on this better than me.



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