I’d like to preface this by saying: to anybody reading, please take the good with the bad when you’re reading through this. I am by no means a perfect person. I make mistakes like humans do. Learn from them.

I entered college ready to roll. As many of you may remember, I had a brief stint where I found this subreddit, got over my oneitis, learned about TRP, made improvements to my life, and then I left. For a year, about.

I went into the real world. I stopped playing video games, got fit, joined a frat, got a job, started to party. I started to partake in medicinal marijuana use for a physical condition I have, which I find helps me socially.

I stopped lifting when I went to college for a few reasons. One of the reasons were that I was working a full time job ON TOP of full time schooling. I was lazy and gave up the gym to smoke weed in the nighttime, but honestly, I don’t regret it. I finished my first year with a 4.0 GPA.

The main thing that happened in the off-season? A new LTR. I met this girl through a friend of mine. Me and him don’t speak any more, but at this time, he had met this girl. He showed me her and I thought she was cute, but I didn’t say anything. At this point, I had completely changed. Although I got no puss in high school, I was spinning plates and slaying left and right. Until this girl came along.

Her and my friend didn’t work out, and one night, I had texted her that I’m on campus and she’s welcome to come hang out. A couple hours pass, I isolate, escalate, take her back to my place, we hook up, and I fall for it. The same mistake that everyone falls for. I got comfortable with her.

I, in my delusions, took the first girl that would give me that kind of comfort. I ignored all the red flags she gave me. Fellow men, please don’t do this. I’ll tell you why later.

The first few weeks of our relationship were great. Breakfast in bed (I was paying my parents rent at 18) so she’d cook for me in my own kitchen in my own corner of the house. It fed my ego perfectly. We fucked a few times a day. We’d go to our classes in the morning, and I’d meet her back at my place after work every day. This lasted for 2 weeks before she went away. I’m pretty sure she cheated on me when she went away, but at the time, I had just started smoking weed. I was so lost in the marijuana that I didn’t care.

After she came back, we (or at least I thought) felt a strong bond. In reality, it was her projecting her insecurities toward me because she still “loved” her ex. Keep in mind that I had to work for my money. Her ex comes from wealth. I come from refugees.

We continued on for about 3 months, and one weekend, I went upstate to another school. She texted me one night that she’s ‘going to bake cookies at a friend’s’ at one in the morning. I don’t want to tell you guys what I was doing, but I was fucked up. In my stupor, I went out to a college party in this town with my fraternity, got two horny girls, fucked them, and sent her the video.

She told me the next day that she fucked her ex, she never wanted to talk to me again, yada yada. I didn’t reply and she eventually told me she wanted to give me my clothes back. After fucking on 5 separate occasions for 5 separate articles of clothing, she’s gone.

I look back at messages that she’d send me. She’d tell me “how much she loved me”. Listen, fellas. Don’t make the mistake I made. NEVER depend on a woman for comfort. When you do that, you go crazy. When she left, I didn’t know what to do.

After a while, I realized that she doesn’t care at all. I could get hit by a truck tomorrow and she wouldn’t know. Why am I giving her free real estate in my head?

Also, another thing - just when you think everything is OK, make sure you’re coming back to the forum and reading up, keeping yourself sharp. If I had been doing that, I never would’ve dated her.

I quit smoking cigarettes recently and have supplemented them with the want to text her. I realize that with one quick text my urge will go away, but it will make the problem worse. Just like that one cigarette.

Another thing that changed this year is that I joined a fraternity. One of the best decisions for any young man in college. I’ve made lots of contacts and friends.

I also plan on going back to the gym and kicking ass. I’m trying to taper down my marijuana usage. Wish me luck, boys.

I’m back.