Hello again sisters! :D

Been having a couple thoughts about supporting men. And when I think hard about women I've met, women I know, ect, it truly feels like your average woman fears the choices her man will or wont make in life. She's concerned about what will happen if her husband doesnt come to her for direction, permission, or advice. Shes afraid of him allowing the kids to eat pizza and ice cream for 3 days straight when she goes to visit her mom. Shes concerned that if she's not there he'll add too much laundry detergent (instead of reading the instructions like an adult ) and screw up the machine. Shes concerned that if she doesn't loudly vocalize their financial need for him to get that promotion that'll give him an extra 15k a year, he just won't go for it because he rarely goes for anything. Shes afraid every day. She's rarely comfortable. She's waiting for the next disaster that she'll have to slave over. And deep down, she thinks hes kinda stupid. I'm sure you know someone that honestly thinks her husband is stupid!

Now. Who does that sound like? If you guessed a mommy with a rogue toddler, you're correct! Always vigilant, always terrified, always...NOSEY!

So obviously our number 1 issue becomes picking the appropriate man because plenty of men have just never gotten off of the mothers nipple. They have no ambitions. They're meek and easily discouraged. They watch other men feast then rush in to grab at any scraps that are left. They inspire fear in a woman. We know this man is a red flag so I wanna skip ahead to when you've chosen the right partner but still have flickers of fear because I'm sure a lot of us have dealt with someone like that at some point. And of course everyone has to be introspective and question what about them attracted a meek, unambitious man. (Loud bossy mouth? Masculine attitude? Willing to be the manly woman of the house?)

And this is where the cheerleader vs soccer mom dichotomy comes in when you're in your happy relationship. And this has little to do with age, you can be a 19 year old soccer mom yelling at your bf to not be late for his shift and you can be a 40 year cheerleader that showers her man in compliments after he gets a great review at work.

The cheerleader, at her core, is cute, fun, lighthearted and encouraging. She bounces around, is happy to be here, and shes vocal with her support but quiets down once the match is on. She'll be right back out there with her pompoms when her man needs a pick me up and when he finally wins, she celebrates him. She doesnt celebrate the promotion, the review, or the boss that hired him. She celebrates him. She thanks him verbally and with action. "You're so smart, baby!" She rushes up to him and squeezes him and showers him in kisses. Yknow why? Because the cheerleader did her job and whether or not her team won, she did her job well. When the team is losing, the cheerleader doesn't rush out on the field to join the game! She knows that isnt her purpose! And most importantly of all, she trusts her man. A loss doesnt scare her because hes not a loser. He picks himself up, she assists in dusting him off, and right back out he goes. She's as supportive as he is reliable.

So our soccer mom is obviously the opposite of our cheerleader. Shes rough, she yells, shes scary, she chooses her mans goals for him because she doesnt think he has any common sense. At her core shes afraid, her self esteem is low, and she worries every night. She does not trust her man. She barely trusts herself. There is no encouragement, just shoving. When hes feeling down she berates him. If he wins, she takes the credit for it because she truly believes he wouldn't have wanted this if she didn't tell him to want it. "Well yknow I'm the one that told him to go for the manager position in the first place!" She also will skip over celebrating him to celebrate the win because she does not admire him. She admires the result of her nagging. "Now we finally have enough money to go on vacation and get a new dryer!" or "Thank god Bill gave you the promotion over Harry!" These are not compliments. They're damn near insults!

And just like a real life soccer mom situation, there is no moment to relax and bask in his accomplishment for the man, because the next game is on sunday. Soccer mom has already picked out her mans next goal. Nobodys happy. Mom always wants more, kid starts to hate both mom and soccer.

So this is something I've noticed a lot of women struggle with. A womans trust is something super special and fragile, but if you logically know your man is worth it...butt out. Be a cheerleader. I had to learn how to shut up myself! Now if your mans decisions lead you to behave like a soccer mom out of fear for your own future and livelihood...is he really the man for you? And this dichotomy can be applied to a lot of issues. Alcohol, food, hygiene, sex, financial responsibility, ect. And ask yourself, "Do I think he's kinda stupid?" Be honest!

If your mans unreliability scares you, hes not the one for you! But if you have a good man with a good head on his shoulders, trust him completely and without fear. And as always, if no one asked for your two cent, keep it!