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Female Bartender had me banned from bar for "soliciting prostitution"

Reddit View
July 28, 2019

Ahhahaha what a joke. I posted on this sub about this female bartender before and people told me I was crazy.

So, I've been going to this bar for a while now and I've had some success there. I've had girls buying me drinks there, I've hooked up there, and I've had some good nights with some of the guys there drinking and partying after hours. There's this one bartender who works there that's seen me doing this and for whatever reason all of this bothers her. She won't serve me, she rolls her eyes at me, and she points me out to the bouncers whenever I'm talking to a girl. I knew she'd been shit talking me this whole time but whatever, just suspicions up until last night. I saw her there drinking off hours just hanging out socially and I approached her and asked her why she didn't like me. She pretended like she didn't know what I was talking about and literally a second later the bouncer came up to me and told me I had to leave. I said fine and walked out. When we got outside I asked "just tell me what it was that I did and I'll never come back here", he literally said "I've had complaints about you from, I won't say who, that you're staring at people and soliciting prostitution." What a fucking joke, not only have I NEVER paid for sex, I got bitches buying me drinks in that bar, why the fuck would I be offering to pay for it? This whore is making up all kinds of bullshit about me and it's really, really pissing me off. Like, I want to punch the windows out in her fucking car. Maybe it's because it's all fresh from this being last night and all, but am I wrong for wanting some kind of retribution? What would you do? Should I just let it go? I'm not going back there ever again, but having this bitch make up shit about me like that and flexing her fucking pussy power over me is just unfucking acceptable in my mind right now.

Post Information
Title Female Bartender had me banned from bar for "soliciting prostitution"
Author bootlegcomicsburl
Upvotes 93
Comments 79
Date 28 July 2019 12:00 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

[–]HurricaneHugues220 points221 points  (59 children) | Copy

"I saw her there drinking off hours just hanging out socially and I approached her and asked her why she didn't like me."

She works at the bar. She's not your friend. She doesn't have to like you. But she is to obligated to treat you with respect and serve you at the bar because she is an EMPLOYEE. You're an idiot. Why are u looking for people's approval so much? What you should've done is report her shitty behavior to her boss. She is a paid employee that is supposed to be respectful towards all patrons. Her job is that of customer relations. You have never committed any crimes inside the bar, you never spoke to her disrespectfully. Her bad behavior towards you was unwarranted, and grounds to get her reprimanded or even fired by her boss. You're dumb.

Go back and ask to speak to the manager of the bar and explain what happened. The bartender is not God.

[–]PandaLitter146 points147 points  (3 children) | Copy

Demote bartender to anal only plate

[–]Oakester8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Only good answer here fuck her dude let that ship sail.

I won't say you didn't anything wrong but for a lush it mostly came off as creepy because these spoiled cunts get to say so

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Demote bartender to anal only plate

TRP's version of 42.

[–]mysticplaces0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Demote bartender to rim only plate.

[–]Erikacoleman1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

How do you ask for the managers contact?

[–]HurricaneHugues1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You ask an employee? Fucking duh!

[–]bootlegcomicsburl 1 points [recovered]  (41 children) | Copy

We never had a formal conversation before. I wanted to talk to her and see if I could turn her into someone who I could be chill with. Getting to know your bartenders is really helpful in night life. I know she doesn't owe me anything, when did I say otherwise? Nobody owes anybody anything.

[–]HurricaneHugues48 points49 points  (40 children) | Copy

"There's this one bartender who works there that's seen me doing this and for whatever reason all of this bothers her. She won't serve me, she rolls her eyes at me, and she points me out to the bouncers whenever I'm talking to a girl. I knew she'd been shit talking me this whole time but whatever, just suspicions up until last night."

You don't need to have a conversation with her. She is paid to be friendly and nice to people. The fact that sye was being shitty without ever talking to you makes her a bad bartender. She let her personal feelings disrupt her ability to do her job properly. What you should've done is report that fuckshit to her manager. She's not your friend. Why are u looking for her approval? Would u do the same if you were at the airport and the person who's supppsed to check your boarding pass is rollingbtheir eyes at you and ignoring you while she's letting other people go ahead of you, all because you travel often with a lot of different women and she doesn't like it? No. You would escalate the situaruin and ask to speak to whoever is in charge of that dickhead.

Your problem is that you want everyone to like you and you're trying to buddy buddy with everyone. Bartender is being a piece of shit for no reason? Alert the fucking manager.

[–]GiraffeOnWheels1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy

You think the manager is going to take the side of the bro there looking for hookups over the bartender? You're dumb.

[–]HurricaneHugues1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy

The manager wants his employees to maintain great customer service. Without customers, there is no business. That's the fundamental rule of business.

[–]GiraffeOnWheels0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

The bartenders bring the customers. If they kick you out you're gone. Don't be a dumb fuck and piss off your bartender.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Idiot. OP didn't do anything to objectively piss off the bartender. Her personal feelings are what she based her decision on. OP didn't harass or do anything that could warrant getting kicked from the bar.

Why is it so hard for u clowns to understand that you have rights?

[–]GiraffeOnWheels0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Ok maybe you're from a different country but in the US literally nothing you just said matters at all and you don't have any "rights" about access to bars.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

I'm from the us, dickhead. I don't mean rights as in legal rights. You have a right as a customer to voice your grievance to management. It's not illegal to do so. The bartender is not OP's friend. She's an employee at a bar. All employees have bosses. And if an employee is being a dickhead and refusing service, you're supposed to take it up with management. Bosses don't want their business to be on the news for scandals. Bartenders are a dime a dozen. She is a lot more replaceable than you the customer. Without customers there is no business.

You people have zero self respect or any sense of self worth.

[–]GiraffeOnWheels0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

You're just an idiot. It sounds like you've never met a bartender and/or owner of a bar and actually spent time in one. Don't talk about things you don't have a clue about.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Blah blah blah. You spineless fucks get walked on all over the place and just bend over and take it. You don't react when the facts are happening right then and there, but you will get on the internet a few hours later to complain and vent your frustrations.

Bartender is acting like a fucking bitch and refusing me service for no objective reason, I'm talking to her supervisor to get to the bottom of it. A bartender chick is easily replaceable, they're a dime a dozen. Every day some girl turns 21 and wants to be a bartender. What isn't a dime a dozen, is bad reviews on the owner's business. With the age of social media, word spreads really fast.

[–]GiraffeOnWheels0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Talking about bitching on the Internet then says to go home and leave a review lol.

[–]covertpenguin339033 points34 points  (6 children) | Copy

I feel like there’s something you’re leaving out. I was a manager at a bar for years, and while our stuck up girl bar tenders would rage at just about anything directed at them or shit tippers, they would never be mad at a regular for no reason. Not that i don’t believe you, but is there something we’re missing here? Do you tip really low to her (even if unknowingly), could one of these girls you tried banging complained to her, did you ever try and hit on her or say something inappropriate prior to all this? And the other posters are right, you shouldn’t have talked to her on her off time. A simple talk with the manager would’ve been much more productive as long as you were cool about it. Me and my boss would’ve been furious if we knew we were losing out on a guy who spends $100-200 every week, and i worked at a place that could do $40-60k in sales on a good night/day. If it’s one of the few bars in town and you really want to go back, just come in during the day on like a Monday or Tuesday (GMs are usually doing orders, payroll, etc on these days) and speak to him. You’ll have to be pretty nice though and not in rage mode.

[–]bootlegcomicsburl 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

Thank you for the level headed response. I can recall the exact moment this girl had it in for me. It was St. Patrick's Day and I was there talking to a woman. She said she was a rich, successful woman so I asked her to prove it to me and buy me a drink. She ended up buying me 5 pints of beer right there on the spot. All night long I would just go back to the bar and get my free beers, the female bartender in question was the one that served them to me. After that day she'd had it out for me. There's something about a guy getting a girl to buy him a drink that rubs people the wrong way.

I don't really spend that much money there, maybe $20 a night. I tip a dollar a beer, same as every bartender. Only bartender I tip $2 a beer is a bartender I know who is insanely bro tier and super personable, I'd feel like a cunt tipping him like any other tender. The rest get a buck.

[–]Twenty_league_boots 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

Lol that's some cheap ass tipping.

[–]ScratchinCommander 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Really? If I get a beer for 4 bucks and tip 2, that's 50%.

[–]Twenty_league_boots0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

If you're drinking 4 dollar beers than yeah, a buck is enough, I retract my statement.

[–]Speedracer1111 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

Let it go and find another bar. Focus your energy constructively.

As to why. Could be many reasons, simplest is that the women you hooked up with are complaining or not coming back. If you drive women away from a bar, that is bad for business.

Maybe you fucked one of the bouncer's or bartender's girls or their onetis.

[–]Bing_Bang_Bam12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Playa hating frustrated femme with penis envy.

[–]Jabbermouth9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Great comment. This is the correct answer, OP.

However, I would personally go back to the bar and speak to her manager and try to get that bitch fired or at least make her life a little harder.

Call it pettiness, call it being butthurt, but I just don’t let people get away with shit like that in my life.

Probably wouldn’t lead anywhere but it would make me happy.

[–]GiraffeOnWheels7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everyone here saying complain about the bartender... Do you guys know how bars work? If the bartender got you kicked out and banned it was probably for good reason. I can't imagine any manager taking the side of the dude going there for hookups over their bartender. I don't think I've ever seen a bar where that's how it plays out. You've already been made to look like an idiot, go complain to the manager if you want someone else to think you're an idiot too

[–]mugatucrazypills1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

maybe it was the bartenders girlfriend you hooked up with and she doesn't like the taste of your day old man sauce in with the clam chowder

[–]BajaGhia8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's seen your game and how you manipulate women and it repulsed her.

Did you tip her for the 5 beers she was serving you on St Patties day? Biffaults (sp?) law. Once she got paid and or tipped by the woman who bought you the beers she no longer felt obligated to do shit for you. Her expectation was to get paid again for the same service. And on as busy a day as St Patties....she feels like she's got more important stuff to do than fulfill obligations that she's already been paid for.

I'm not saying anything is right or wrong here, Just my analysis of your post

Always make friends with the staff everywhere you go, before you start pushing game. That way you'll get more of a "wow look at him go" reaction than a "can't believe he just did that" sense of outrage of your skills.

If you do talk to the manager, clearly explain your intentions. You go there to pick up women, etc. Make friends with the bouncers. Go make peace with the bartender with the manager in tow, so she has to be on her best behavior, but you have to close that deal and win her over, which is going to be harder to do than just starting someplace new.

[–]F_Dingo8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Take the L and move on

[–]disciplinedFreedom18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

Entitled females my friend

[–]cracksniffer6664 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just shut the fuck up and move on. I've been physically carried out of bars. You can weep if you want, but I'm saying just move on, maybe be more of a wallflower in the next bar. It sucks to get attached to a bar, and muck things up. Good luck.

[–]FiveStarTendieDinner3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know there's way more to this then you're putting up here and leaving out, but you have to make damn sure that bar never sees the color of your money or anyone else's.

[–]nothestrawberrypatch4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I see nothing but a boy who still has an ego in this question. Kill your fucking ego man.

[–]deathhandmachiavelli2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

How many bars are there where you live?

Make some complaints about her, talk to the manager, have your female friends make complaints against her, but space them out over a period of weeks so its not obvious that you are the source.

[–]theislander8492 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have this kind of bar in my life as well, except my relationship with the female bartender (who also happens to own the bar) is the exact opposite.

She loves the fact that I keep coming back and bringing in more clients... and we also have a permanent conversation that always starts with "where the fuck do you get so many different women??!"

[–]Bing_Bang_Bam2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

If you wait a year, in my town typically there is a whole new crew working at the bars. I live in a college town. I've been 86d from a few bars but I wait six months and it's like going into a new bar.

[–]ScratchinCommander 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy


[–]Bing_Bang_Bam0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Huh. Maybe that's a local term. Kicked out.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Let it go. Leave her car alone. You'd be surprised how many cameras are pointing down at the street from the 2nd stories of businesses. Confronting her off-duty was a mistake. White knight cops are going to take the side of some apparently savvy bartender over a barfly with an axe to grind and you don't want to have to deal with a restraining order.

There's bars every couple blocks, so find a new one.

[–]NabroleonBonaparte2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

*Wanders thru the comments...

So this is what autism looks like...

[–]red_matrix1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bars are full of drama and women are emotional.

Move on.

[–]flukeykent1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck her she's a feminazi cunt. She got mad after that rich chick bought you alcohol and the typical blah blah your smashing girls, you're a player, her exs she really liked were players, she secretly despises you for charming girls and secretly wants to fuck you too even though she knows she would be making a mistake.

Long story short, she's a cunt and you were drunk and you had every right to do what you did.... complain to the manager like that would sort out this girls issues with. It probably would have pissed her off. It was a petty move but you were drunk and if anyone's ever been drunk in the comment who isn't a closet captain save a hoe, would know you do stuff like this even though you know it might not go well. But you were drunk and found out what you wanted to find out in the end. You'll probably smash her one day or even marry or get in a relationship with her 😂 because lets be honest, she hates that she likes guys like you.....yeah it's a petty comment from me that'll probably get hate but fuck her and I'm glad you confronted her face to face. Takes some balls to do that and I know a lot of these captain save a hoes wouldn't do it. Tell the manager of something Minimum you could have probably fixed by talking ? should have tipped this cunt more? What the fuck 😂 I dunno maybe I'm just a psycho but I'm glad she knows you know and you confronted her...thats fucking hilarious to me. Her face must have been priceless. Fuck telling thw manager. That's more amusing and rewarding to me 😂 haha

[–]WB2E1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Important lesson: Befriend the bartenders/bouncers. Especially true if it's a bar you frequent often. Not only will they not try to fuck you over, they'll give you social proof, allow you to cut the line, etc.

[–]bruiser180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hard next. Spin other bartenders.

[–]DAOcomment20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Change her mood, not her mind. "Why do you not like me?" is an invitation for her to risk pissing you off, a risk she wants no part of due to repercussions. It doesn't matter why she doesn't like you, as it may not be rational in the first place. Maybe you remind her of a Chad she's mad at. Maybe there was a misunderstanding that snowballed but she forgot the original reason. Who knows? Doesn't matter. If you want her to be an ally, drop value and fun on her in little bits over time until you shift her emotions.

Sitting her down for an explicitly logical man to man conversations where she states the problem and you work out a resolution would be nice, but isn't what works. Maybe she's going to hate you no matter what. It helps to befriend the entire staff, so that if one of them hates you, you've already got their coworkers and manager on your side.

I understand that you feel slighted and that this isn't fair. It isn't. But unfair things are going to happen, just accept it. Seeking retribution isn't a productive emotion. Neither is blaming her. People like that are part of the game. You are going to polarize people against you and there is nothing you can do to change that. It's not on her to change. It's on you to learn how to deal more effectively with haters. She offered you a reference experience in learning how to deal with such logistical obstacles. You're going to remember this incident. Down the road, it will be a great gift if you learn from it, because you will handle such situations better in the future.

[–]redpilllogin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would honestly just find a new place to hang out. I have no time or energy do deal with BS.

[–]Foolishoe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do you know the owner of the bar?

[–]magx010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Imo you need to do some self reflection to figure out why you felt like you needed to ask her about this. Your need to know blinded you to the fact that asking was a BAD FUCKING IDEA with literally no upside.

[–]Shanguerrilla0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's playing her power game wrong.

You THINK you've faced the power of her pussy.... Friend, if you have 1 or 2 testicles, and you get all controlled by immature emotions and your feels (like her) you're scewed by everything external, people don't care about 'our' feels... But they will notice you 'acting out' both believing and helping spread her lies becoming truth.. Or you get your ass beat by a bunch of guys, or you let her beat your ass and even if you don't raise a hand- you have men with guns take your freedom.

Be the man, you seem to be. So remember the rules of power because the actions you feel right now are empowering are the opposite, your feels don't matter, hers do. Your reality doesn't matter to her or the world, but you are not like her because you're a man. The man that makes it rather than breaks it, if nothing else because you can only make or break YOU and external shit aside you'll appreciate this and your nights by moving forward, growing yourself, not shrinking Your frame and swelling in the past.

Your reality and feels do matter to you, and only you.. (I mean, all of us get it and you aren't alone, man) but the bitch move is MAH FEELS and keying a car, break a window, pop a tire. But this world, the people and even the cops and judges won't let you act out like a woman (like... Over 65% more chance of and higher consequences for the same crime.. 95% chance of her enlisting guys or DOING THIS SAME SHIT TO YOU on a larger... All local bar or anyone a popular bartender and chick can socialize with..(and when building reporre with women, they'll listen to her more than you.. Often, depending on HOW YOU MOVE FORWARD). You have the power And feel you don't. But try to 'take it' and youd give her what she thinks she wants. She wants you to escalate. She wants drama. She Will win even if you do. Hell, she probably just wants to fuck you or got feels hurt by a guy she is splitting you as.. But, fuck her- just not like she wants.

But your shit matters, so figure out how to deal with it like you, like a man who understands his value, who values himself, and understands this world and actions and consequences in a way most women are cursed (and blessed in a detrimental way) never to.

[–]2RedPill-BlackLotus0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

That bartender wants to fuck you.

[–]if_i_could_trade 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Almost certainly the exact opposite - very unlikely OP would get a reaction like this from the bartender unless he was coming off vastly more creepy than he's aware of... and his behaviour (going up to her to ask why she doesn't like him? wtf) indicates to me that's somewhat likely.

[–]bootlegcomicsburl 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

I don't get that kind of behavior in any other bar. It's literally just that one bar, just that one bartender. It is by no means a universal experience.

[–]HeidekrautRot-Lila 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

If it didn't bother you, you wouldn't write that much about it. Admit that you have a problem with what happened, analyze your behavior and find a solution so you can come to rest with it.

[–]bootlegcomicsburl 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

lol even if this was true it's irrelevant. She had be banned from the bar, I'm not going back. She doesn't want me there, I don't want to go there.

[–]HurricaneHugues6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

But you want to furiously post about it on the internet.

[–]bootlegcomicsburl 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

What would you do?

[–]CriticalSoldier-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy

How about man up

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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