706,399 posts

Wife prohibiting me from DJing in bar of my choice

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July 29, 2019
10 upvotes

Long time lurker, first time poster. I first heard of the original red pill subreddit about 5 years ago. I love all the free content and I'm still going through the sidebar right now, my lifestyle and work schedule allows very little free time to read the sidebar books although I'm committed to finishing them. So as far as I'm concerned I'm not sidebar graduated but I understand the importance of the basics like lifting, STFUing, etc. Please roast me

I'm a DJ for only about a year trying to transition from private clientele to instead a consistent venue/bar. I have two new bars lined up, one every Wednesday and the other every Saturday. She walked into my Saturday bar with me as I was contacting the owner to solicit my business. It's a Latino sports bar and the waiters were all in booty shorts. So my possessive wife prohibited me from going back into that bar saying that I didn't need to surround myself with women like that. I didn't even notice they were in booty shorts. She hasn't seen my Wednesday Latino dance club bar and is unaware that they bring models on the weekends to dance on the stripper poles. She's making plans to bring all of her friends this Wednesday for my first gig at the dance club but refuses to even go to my Saturday sports bar which is a lot less provacative in my opinion on the grounds that I don't listen to what she says to me. She's cried in the past explaining that the reason she's so possessive about where I play is because she doesn't wants sluts coming on to me while im spinning (vinyl, not plates) and she doesn't want to leave me because of something like that.

So now I've committed with the Saturday sports bar for this Saturday after she told me not to. And I later told her about it when she was in a better mood to which she emotionally lashed at me. I said I want to make my own choices without her prohibiting how or where I play. She said I can choose to go but that I can't choose the consequences and that she won't go no matter what. This conversation took place by text and I cut the conversation saying that we should calmly talk about it in person.

I'm at a loss about how I should approach this in-person conversation and I'm open to feedback and suggestions for my situation. I kind of feel like this whole thing is just one big giant shit test and she's going to stand her ground no matter how unreasonable she realizes she is because I "never listen to her"

Thank you in advance

UPDATE : Told her I was going, made herself cry, saw that I didn't care, told me next time she did something I didn't like I wasnt allowed to complain, saw that I didn't care/didn't respond, and then snuggled up to me. I almost can't believe it was that easy. Thanks for helping me realize there is such a thing as a stupid question


Post Information
Title Wife prohibiting me from DJing in bar of my choice
Author MentalMonkey16
Upvotes 10
Comments 49
Date 29 July 2019 07:59 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/247294
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/cjgit6/wife_prohibiting_me_from_djing_in_bar_of_my_choice/
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Comments

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (2 children) | Copy

Tell us more about her. SHE sounds lovely. SHE must be such a great catch for you to worry about what SHE thinks about you. Count the SHE's in your post. ( We need a she bot)

If you have read anything, it didn't stick.

If you had frame, I would tell you to do whatever you want. You don't, so I have very little advice except that you need to read and lift more. Wish I could help but I can't. Start posting to OYS thread in MRP weekly and get started on your journey. Licking the pill and larping won't help you, as you can see.

Edit: If your life doesn't afford you the time to read then just give up now. It's literally step one. Read the shit, lift the things. It you can't do that, you are beyond help. You are a lost cause faggot. Less excuses, more work.

[–]IncitingDramah5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

( We need a she bot)

Good fucking idea. Let me see what I can do.

[–]Brushyourteethm80 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Haha yes!

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret45 points46 points  (1 child) | Copy

She use to be one of thoes sluts, that's why shes freaked out. She knows.

You dont.

Your still plugged in if you can type the words "allow" or "prohibit" here.

Your wife will say all kinds of dumb shit, ignore her and go to gym, and definitely go to that gig.

[–]RStonePT1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This.

When I first started dating my girl, I got offered a bouncer job to moonlight on the weekends. I wasn't too committed so I actually listened to her demand.

I wouldn't go so far as to call it a regret, but if I were there now with the me of today you best believe I'd be checking ID's

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy

Lemme tell you a little story about a DJ I used to know....

His name was DJ Dave, because he was a DJ and his name was Frank.

One day, DJ Dave's son stumbled upon a magical lamp. After rubbing it, a mystical genie poured out of the lamp and asked for boy what he wanted for his wishes.

Knowing his father’s great love of music, the boy wished to become a keyboard.

“Granted”, said the genie with a snap of his fingers, and in a puff of purple smoke the boy had been turned into a keyboard.

He couldn’t talk nor ask for another wish, so the boy was stuck this way.

DJ Dave went into his son’s room to find that he had been turned into an instrument, and vowed to help him however he could. Days of physical therapy turned to weeks, and weeks to months as the boy tried to do anything at all.

Until late one evening in the middle of a rehab session, a bright C Chord rang out through the air.

“Congratulations,” DJ Dave said with a tear in his eye.

“You played yourself”

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

[–]WolfofAllStreetz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is beautiful.

[–]mrpthrowa25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do you ask her to go to pee too?

[–]mrp_awakening8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

You want to make your own choices? Fuck that... you will make your own choices. If she doesn't like it, she can choose not to come or to leave (hint: she won't).

This is a run of the mill shit test. Can I get him to abandon his mission/dreams with my feelz and drama? The only answer here is no. If you want, you can talk to her feelz and spin it around "It's cute how jealous and worried you are about me babe, but I can handle myself". Acknowledge (and even thank) her for her concerns, but make it clear that in no uncertain terms will you back down.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy

So as far as I'm concerned I'm not sidebar graduated but I understand the importance of the basics like lifting, STFUing, etc.

You apparently know nothing... this is a sad post.

Please roast me

What's with all the requests lately for people to get roasted?

She's cried in the past explaining that the reason she's so possessive about where I play is because she doesn't wants sluts coming on to me while im spinning (vinyl, not plates) and she doesn't want to leave me because of something like that.

This is her problem - if she's going to leave over this, do you really want to be married to her? It's only been a few months since marriage.. wtf are you doing letting her dictate where you work?

She said I can choose to go but that I can't choose the consequences and that she won't go no matter what.

She can make her choices, you make yours. If she leaves over this, so fucking what?

I'm at a loss about how I should approach this in-person conversation and I'm open to feedback and suggestions for my situation. I kind of feel like this whole thing is just one big giant shit test and she's going to stand her ground no matter how unreasonable she realizes she is because I "never listen to her"

Let her bring it up. Just state what you will be doing. Broken record a few times, then literally STFU. She's going to get PISSED. She will be pissed for days especially once you actually go to the gig. So what? She going to beat you up? Kick your ass? What's this little woman going to do to you? Stop being scared of your wife. Stop thinking you need permission - you don't. Start talking that way too. Instead of "would it be alright if I..." it's "I'm going to..."

It's not sexy model pole dancing, but I used to get shit from my wife for going to work dinners. I used to go on with "oh I have to, I don't want to, would it be alright if I came home late Wednesday because I have a dinner, it's really expected of me". This would go into a big discussion of who would be there, any women, then I get back and it's "who did you sit next to?", "what did you talk about".

Last week: "I'll be home late Wednesday, I have a dinner'. That's it... that's all it took and her response was "ok". No 20 questions when I came home either.

my lifestyle and work schedule allows very little free time to read the sidebar books although I'm committed to finishing them

What the hell does this mean? Make time. You are (hopefully) making time to lift. Make time to read. In the car? Audiobook. Read before bed. Taking a shit - read. In between sets - read. For you, I recommend to start with WISNIFG and NMMNG. Then MMSLP.

Fuck... you're going to be in for a rough marriage if you don't get this shit taken care of. You don't want to be 14 years down the road and still have your wife carrying around your balls like I was. Fix this shit now.

[–]MentalMonkey16[S] -5 points-4 points  (4 children) | Copy

How do you know how long I've been married?

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

Unlike you I am capable of reading. You posted this two days ago.

“Married going on two months and the sex is a m a z I n g but the only thing is she won't blow me :(”

[–]mrpthrowa8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

this dude is only 2 months in and his "wife" won't "allow" him to do stuff.

Damn this language is so weird I feel like a faggot just writing the terms he uses.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Going SBIII on yo ass bitch.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nah, I just wanted to see if anything pointed to if he was married or in an LTR since OP didn't mention it. I put way too much effort into this one.

[–]helaughsinhidden6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Act like you don't care what the consequences are and that you make up your mind like a big boy. Like "why would I worry about the consequences?" Shrug, smile, wink, slap on the ass. As if you can't possibly understand why anyone would have confused this in the first place.

The shit test she gave about the booty shorts is from dread and good. Then came a sort of comfort test about cheating. If that comes up, just ask her her "why would I want to cheat?". You aren't directly saying you will or won't, but putting the satisfaction in your relationship into question instead of your integrity.

This is all about confidence, abundance, and FRAME.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wife always gets first crack at my dick. If she doesn't drain my balls she is thinking that someone else might. "I don't like when you go out late and hang out with hoochies. How would you like it if I did that?" My response is "Go ahead, suck all the dicks. Have fun." Because she knows she won't and if she did that would nuke the deal she has.

When you have value and frame, you can literally do whatever you want. Betas get rules and "you can't do this" statements but alphas get exceptions. We make the rules.

[–]weakandsensitive5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy

I can't choose the consequences and that she won't go no matter what.

Hahhahahahahaha. Oh man.

Apologize and beg for her forgiveness. If you don't, you're going to get fucked in divorce court. And no woman wants to fucked a broke, divorced loser.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I remember those days. It’s also the day I stopped using miracle whip instead of mayo although miracle whip is cheaper and the marketing is more persuasive.

[–]QueenSlapFight1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

He's only been married two months. He can annul pretty easily if he gets his head out of his ass.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Him getting an annulment won't change the fact that he's still a bitch.

[–]QueenSlapFight1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

No but it's a step. If you're so fucking swag why do you have to spend time peacocking? Shouldn't you be out slaying pussy instead of wasting time looking for guys to call bitch?

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What?

And no, it actually isn't a step.

[–]QueenSlapFight0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

K then go tell him whatever it is you feel the need to get off your chest. I was hoping to just point out the annulment opportunity to someone talking about divorce.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

And no woman wants to fucked a broke, divorced loser.

Dont call me out man...

[–]CarelessBowler53 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You mentioned the side bar? Pick up "When I Say No I Feel Guilty" and down it ASAP. Lots of useful bits in there. Fogging, negative assertion, and negative inquiry have been hugely useful for me.

If nothing else, as she tries to rope you into her anxiety (read: emotional hurricane), you can keep your cool.

As I tell my 2yo son when his 10mo sister is crying: "Just because she's crying doesn't mean you have to be sad, too."

Do the gig. Definitely do the gig.

You'll have "won" if in the in-person conversation, she admits to herself why she really doesn't want you to go. That might come with a comfort test. Pass it. Go play your gig.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Didn’t read a damn thing. Just the title. I am willing to bet I don’t need to.

Let me ask you this:

Do you ask permission to pee? If not why are you asking permission for this?

[–]FoxShitNasty832 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Awww mummy said no (ruffles hair)... Sidebar -->

[–]lololasaurus2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"She" count: 17

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not much to add... top comments are spot on... other than this...

I said I want to make my own choices without her prohibiting how or where I play.

This is where you set the tone by DEERING. She sensed your weakness (women instinctively know DEERing is a sign of weakness), and she upped the ante with the “consequences “ comment. It was all downhill from there.

Quit getting mommy’s approval for shit... you are a grown ass man (I’m assuming)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tell her your going,BUT you will allow her to wear you out in the bedroom before you go so your to tired for the other women.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You need your wife’s permission? Yea, you need to finish the sidebar dude.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Is this a test? Seriously, this one is so easy, someone has to be testing us.

How about this champ: stop giving a fuck if mommy shows up to your gigs. Have a gin 'n juice and see what washes up in the booth. Make her fears real.

[–]umizumiz1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You didn't notice the booty shorts?

[–]RP_PO0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hahahaha! I was wondering that too. If there is a nice ass within a mile of me, I’ve known about it for weeks. Get your T checked if you dont notice shit like this. And lock some situational awareness in your frail body.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

DEERing to us, good luck with a living breathing wife.

[–]TEXSQUIRE1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I didn't make it past your headline

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Welcome.

I would think you are the guy at Target pushing the shopping cart following his wife playing video games on your phone while she scolds you.

Soon she will have 2 children to scold and you will be at Deadbedrooms taking about how many times you had the “talk”

Good luck bro.

Remember that when you give your word in business it must happen. Even if mommy says no

[–]Thor-Loki-11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

tl;dr Outside of the first "prohibiting me"

You sound like a little, whiny faggot.

Are you a little, whiny faggot?

[–]NordJitsu0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Your wife can’t prohibit you from anything.

[–]Grimsterr0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well, there's a couple things she can prohibit him from, well, 3 things, I guess. Otherwise, yeah, not so much.

[–]MentalMonkey16[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I appreciate all the comments! Even those calling me a faggot means that someone had to take the time out of their day to make that comment, and even that has some amount of value that I actually appreciate. No I'm not a whiny faggot, I'm just such a newbie it's cringeworthy. I'm more amped than before to go do what I want when I want. And I've also discovered how much I have to improve on quick. From what it seems from the comments, my frame is lacking the most. Just today as I was browsing the comments while running errands, I started to see almost immediately results from the wife just by not giving a shit, turning my back to her,

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Should have told her to STFU and dance on a pole while you DJ.

Work it as a team.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Close your eyes and think about what you want to do. Next, open your eyes and then do what you wanted to do.

Just stop living in your wife’s frame. It’s embarrassing.

[–]Bits2Bits0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You have free dread opportunities. Just do it.



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