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Anyone here with low success online but do decent cold approaching?

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Legitimate_Fruit
July 31, 2019
66 upvotes
askTRP

In other words: Is it over if you're ugly?


Post Information
Title Anyone here with low success online but do decent cold approaching?
Author Legitimate_Fruit
Upvotes 66
Comments 66
Date 31 July 2019 09:13 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/247557
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ck5zkv/anyone_here_with_low_success_online_but_do_decent/
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Comments

[–]McVaghunter73 points74 points  (28 children) | Copy

Is it over if you're ugly?

I believe that's what the black pill is, and although TBP is correct, blackpillers choose to give up instead of improving their looks.

For women (not 12 yo girls who love cute pop singers), the beauty of a man is not in his cute face, it's in his muscle, height, his jaw line (or a cool beard if your jawline sucks), his hair (shaved looks hot too)... All of these, except for the height, can be improved. Look at Jon Bernthal, he's not "cute" but he's hot, no homo. For a man you need to have a deformed face in order to be ugly, and even then, surgery can help.

[–]proplfax22 points23 points  (2 children) | Copy

all of my girlfriends have come from meeting through friends, but i'd have 0 shot matching any of my ex's on tinder. i haven't started cold approaching yet, but i know it'll work from that alone.

[–]flipdoggers2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's the funny thing. One of my ex's was below my standards (physically; I obviously was with her cause she was a chill person) but I wouldn't have even matched with her on tinder. We compared tinders and she'd get close to 100% match rate, and I'd get like 1% lol.

[–]proplfax0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

tinder is a weird place bro, its like the ultimate example of hypergamy with no behavioral aspect. now we know how that ends

[–]yungplayz15 points16 points  (3 children) | Copy

The man with the most success with women I ever knew is only 5'7''. His monthly income is also below the city average. He, however, hits the gym a lot and is quite good at singing.

Shared this cause I thought some of the shorter than average guys here might be happy to read it. I swear it's a real situation, not a made up story (how would I benefit from lying, anyways?).

[–]LukeVTruth7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Ya there was a dude in my frat who was 5’7 but an absolute chad and fucked 104 girls over his 3 years living in the house. He was ripped and was the type of guy who was very social and the life of the party whenever he walked in a room. Despite his height everything else about him just drew chicks to him.

[–]TibetanWisdom-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

what was his face like?

[–]LukeVTruth4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

He had a decent face. Nothing model worthy but probably still above average. He was ripped as hell though.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Incels issues is their mind. Most of them aren't deformed ugly or whatever shit they say.

But even so, I do think most of them are just socially retarded, autists or whatever. That's the only reason they can't get women. I can't blame them for being born that way or made that way. I've suffered like them before I've got on TRT (all tho even then I had girls), but it is definitely something that destroys a person. That is, when you're anxious and depressed, people tend to smell that and they always mess with you. Girls, girlfriends as well. It's horrible.

[–]ZeppKfw6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

What's worse is they then proceed to subscribe to a philosophy that incentivizes further brainwashing. The cognitive dissonance when you talk to these people is infinite. They're fucked (not literally)

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I just hope their sites and subs gets deleted. There are lots of teens and young people in general that maybe still have some chance in life and such content will just fuck them up completely.

[–]Redditgoodaccount6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Jon Bernthal

Hair loss takes a toll, difficult to manage on a psycho level. But again loads of bald men fucking beauties like Moroccans at war so...

You only have one way, the way of men, Virtues and the best aesthetics you can.

It's not about the pussy it's about you.

[–]amwfhunter21 points22 points  (7 children) | Copy

I'm 5'11. One of my plates is a woman from Montenegro who is a model. She is 6'0 but like 6'3 with heels. She refuses to wear heels with me (her issue not mine) because she thinks it looks ridiculous. She admitted to me one time when she was drunk. Yet she is the first to go down on my dick and fucks me like 5 to 6 times a day when I go see her. She legit cries everytime and the night before I leave to go back home to USA.

When I first met her at my friend's party we fucked that night. I was confident and it helped my host friend was talking me up and I knew many of the people at the party. I've been with her on and off for the past year and a half. I agree however if you are shorter u need to ensure you got everything else in check.

Face and looks. Fit body. Status and clout helps. Dress well. Act well. Brains. Finances etc. Esp as u get older as a man, these things matter a whole lot more than being a 6'4 loser.

[–]yungplayz11 points12 points  (6 children) | Copy

Finally someone talking some damn sense. Past the college age, being the winner is like the absolutely most important thing. If you're past your early 20s but still live with your parents, have no income, no car because you can't afford one, not because you chose not to have one, let other people dictate you things, work a low wage bullshit job and have nothing interesting about you and live a boring life in general, aren't at least locally popular, suck at speaking too, in other words if you're a loser... Then even the Men's Health front cover tier appearance won't get you any farther than getting Tinder matches.

Looks mean everything in high school, throughout the college years they start losing the weight, and after college they are just complimentary to success at life.

[–]AdeHMar3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thing is, people with looks benefit from it all their life, not just for sexual success.

[–]yungplayz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That may have been the case millennia ago, when people would only live 25-30 years on average. Nowadays, looks fade when the life isn't even halfway over for most people.

[–]fromdario2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Ehhhh slightly disagree. For the most part I’m with you then I see a friend of mine who is a +40s struggling actor but very good looking and built. He hardly speaks English, which I suppose adds to his charm. Every time we go out chicks of all ages gravitate to him. He says the dumbest shit (primarily due to language barrier) but that doesn’t matter. They aren’t only interested in one night stands either, most of the women he hooks up with try to lock him down. I dunno.

[–]yungplayz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Must be the charm then, which looks are but a part of. You see, in your 40s, in terms of looks alone you will lose to twenty-somethings no matter what. I insist that past college looks aren't detrimental to your SMV. Looks + charm though -- a whole different story.

By the way. You say they're not only after the one night stands with him, they're after the LTR. IMHO, this proves even further that the looks is not the main thing about him. Because hey, looks play their biggest role in the one night stand scenario. That's why they are detrimental for Tinder, but not for offline dating. If it was all about looks, all they'd want would be one night stands. Now his charm is probably what makes them wanna lock him down.

[–]amwfhunter0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Until they meet a guy who is just as good looking and rich

[–]amwfhunter4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly and thank you. If u are simply all looks and nothing else, you may attract a few women but I assure you they will not stay (which in rp that is fine) or u will attract shallow low quality women who aren't good company.

Having more positive qualities will attract simply better people around u who will motivate you to improve as well and I'm not only talking about women but positive successful male and female friends too. Such will better one's quality of life.

Looks fade. Character does not. And not everyone is born gorgeous but you can definitely develop your character.

[–]ovrload9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

the beauty of a man is not his cute face, it’s in his muscle

Muscle means jack all if you’re ugly and short. If you’re average looking and have decent height fair enough it may attract some women.

[–]RP_Br323 points24 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'd rather be muscly and short than skinny and short. Height helps but there are multiple factors at play and gaining in the areas you can, be they muscle, charisma or style, all help bring out the best you forward.

Tom Cruise is short, Jason Statham is bald and average height. Sylvester Stallone was homeless and had to sell his dog due to not having money to feed it. Hollywood actors are not everyday people, but they have some factor that helps them reach that celebrity status, they didn't get a multimillion actor contract in their mail one day while thinking their lives are stuck.

[–]ovrload4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Tom cruise isn’t muscular. Just a normal sized manlet with a good face, plus he has fame and status which boosts him up ten fold. Yes, being short and skinny isn’t good but adding too much muscle on a tiny frame is gonna make you look unproportional.

[–]RP_Br310 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, that was my point. Height is not the end-all-be-all, there are other parts you actually can improve not determined by genetics. Cruise is short and not muscular, but he still reached Hollywood status. You can improve something, so quit the napoleon complex and choose a different location to fight at than Waterloo, meaning a different aspect than height. You won't win that fight, you can't change it.

If you're so stuck on that proportions are a must and you're fucked due to being short: Jeff Nippard is 5'5 and a bodybuilder. Is he better looking now than compared to when he was skinnier? Demetrius Johnson is 5'3, do you think he'd be more attractive by losing 10-15lbs of muscle? He is married to Destiny Johnson who he met before competing in UFC, so fame isn't a factor there. Your height isn't the thing holding you back, it's the resentment and napoleon complex preventing you from focusing on improving the areas in your life you actually can change

[–]thrwy754794 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

adding too much muscle on a tiny frame is gonna make you look unproportional

Why don't you worry about that, and any other bullshit excuses you're crying about, after you've put on some mass?

You're giving yourself too much credit if you think you'll transform into the Hulk in 10 seconds.

[–]Alliaenor1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Women look for good genetics above everything else, which is showed by a good face. Muscles are not transmitted to the offspring afaik. I don't say "it's over" for average or ugly men, but it's incredibly more easy for men with top tier faces.

[–]Homelessguy606-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Jon isn't hot because he improved his hair lol. He's hit because he's hot. You can't alter your bone structure, and you don't need to be deformed to be unattractive. Most women found most men unattractive in a OK cupid study.

[–]juicy-asssss-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I didn’t even know what black pill was but thats literally the most gayest shit I’ve ever heard in my life lmfao how much of a faggot can one person be amazes me

[–]rnsbrum12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Online? Yes. I got 20 matches on Tinder in 24h with good pics, my friend got 0. But in the real world its different, looks can give you an opener, but they won't do all the work. If you do not have model looks you can 100% compensate that with muscles and a fat wallet. Hell, you can even compensate that with only game.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen45 points46 points  (5 children) | Copy

success on tinder, etc., can be heavily influenced by two factors: age and looks.

I am 43 and although I can score on tinder, I can get much younger and better looking women IRL.

I look about ten years younger than I am, but many women will never see me due to filter settings.

Bitches on tinder are spoiled by false confidence. Firstly they often match with good looking guys because of swiping behaviour of many men, who will just swipe right about everything which looks somehow fuckable and sort out later. Also many higher quality guys will just fuck lower quality bitches, because it's as easy as ordering pizza online.

On other dating sites women will also get bombarded with messages.

When I meet girls in real life, it's a whole other thing. also I am more on the side ugly lookswise, I am fortunatge enough to be 6'1 and have a very wide frame. Combined with my muscles, this makes for a nice intimidating appearance.

But even that would be rather useless without game. I am not a master in gaming, but I am also not completely autistic. If you've read the sidebar material you are set pretty well for that matter.

The good thing about being a man is that looks are not that important. Looks open the door for you and the better you look, the more the door opens up.

Thankfully enough, we have the lockpick called game. So if the door isn't open, we unlock it for us and then we use our muscles from lifting to push it open. If we are muscular enough, we can also just run it in. If we have a high status, the bitch will open it up on her own and if we are wealthy enough, we just pay the bitch to hold it open.

Lift, read the sidebar and the rest will come.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

if you read the sidebar

tbf the majority of posts on here would not be necessary if users did this in the first place.

Unfortunately a lot of posters here see trp as a quick easy method of attaining commitment from their personal oneitis.

[–]SerbianChadnik-4 points-3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Never understood what 30+ year olds are doing on Reddit

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Probably not the only thing

[–]CANN0N_990 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Reddit by far the best social media, why wouldnt u go on it

[–]Project_Zero_Betas-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Intentionally upsetting their entire town because no one understands that felonous behavior shouldn't be tolerated.

[–]uptimex7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

As an introvert I have the opposite situation. I have leads all the time who go through the online funnel and turn into plates. But I suck at real world approach.

I assume it is an introvert / extravert issue. My friend is a good looking extravert and he just can't do anything online.

[–]thatguy3O52 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think it's probably a combination of everything, one of those your milage may vary things. I'm an extreme introvert and only do well IRL. I'm good looking enough but I'm mid 30s and a shave my head and that presumably causes a lot of left swiping.

However, I'm pretty funny and apparently charismatic... And 6'3 240. My physical presence is a lot better than what photos can do.

[–]bluepillcarl6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Online dating apps have for the most part made me feel very low in terms of SMV. I match with some decent looking chicks but then they don't really seem so interested to talk; however, I'm 6'4 and I found I have a niche. Girls that are 5'10 and higher I have a lot more luck with. Including the hotter ones. I'm about 18 or 19 % bf and I need to step up my cardio game and cut calories more..

In real life, things are much different I've found. I'm very aloof in real life. My game is not very on point, I'm kind of slow and not quick witted. I'm just happy to talk to someone and not very aggressive sexually, I'm usually just cool but will naturally let a girl know I'm attracted to her. In real life I am pulling cuter and better looking girls who are shorter. Ive also had better luck f closing with chicks I have met in real world and not on the app. So my SMV is actually much higher in real life and I've had to basically realize this factor that I have to approach because my online game will always be far inferior.

[–]ZeppKfw2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's because taller girls get less attention from guys since they're intimidated by their height.

[–]YouNeverKnowAnyone2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tinder is for bitches

[–]amwfhunter3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Probably because a lot of women are internally lonely or craving so when approached in person by the right person at right time they will get tingles granted the guy passes a few criteria. They will have a harder time saying no esp if they aren't an entitled cunt. Online, chicks feel more protected and are more likely to reject or say no because they have time to think and not feel remorse after shit happens. It is this state of mind that causes #metoo false accusations because the bitch regrets her own dumb ass decisions where as online she can talk to u one minute and ghost u the next.

[–]meikyo_shisui2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Absolutely.

Tinder is trash for 80-90% of men because it pretty much reduces attraction to facial looks and the women on it are spoiled by huge numbers of matches with guys above their SMV who will happily fuck below their own SMV because it's easy as shit. Combine these two factors and it's a shitshow. Of course you still get matches, it's just less likely and from lower SMV women so it's not efficient.

IRL however male attractiveness isn't just looks. It's physique, game, confidence, charm, status, wealth, etc. IRL the world is your oyster as ultimately you have control of all these factors.

Case in point. I'm a decent looking but no Tom Cruise guy, 5'8, decent physique, good game, but not photogenic and mostly shitty Tinder matches. Last LTR was a 5'10 HB9 model, met at a work party. We compared Tinder profiles after hooking up and she admitted she'd never have swiped right on me in a million years. Funniest thing was she had the whole 'no guys under 6ft' and a host of other bullshit requirements on her profile, none of which I fulfilled. Aaaaaand none of this mattered in the slightest when we met in person, not for the next 2 years of her fucking me relentlessly in fact.

This is the disconnect between online dating and reality. We didn't evolve to form attraction or relationships in this manner. It's broken and fucks over both men and women for different reasons.

Improve yourself as a man then go outside and reap the rewards.

[–]mountainbiker1781 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

How does Tinder fuck over women?

[–]aWorldBornDead1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Leads to them getting pumped and dumped by those "top 20%" on tinder who are just pick-up faggots and not real men

[–]meikyo_shisui0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, pretty much that. They get spoiled by too much choice and repeatedly make bad choices until oh shit, they're 30, 'sick of fuckboys' and wonder why Chad doesn't want them anymore when surely that's what they're entitled to? Not fulfilled, no kids, alpha widowed, broken pair bonding.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Online is not an accurate representation of reality. It’s actually pretty scary and laughable in regards to the amount of delusion that brews among those apps.

With that said, cold approach is much more effective if you have basic social awareness and charisma. Quit blaming your looks and just be a cool dude. You’d be surprised because most people in real life are too scared or ‘anxious’ to approach others.

Plus it seems like the chicks on dating sites don’t leave the house and are a “full time mommy” but girls you see out running errands may have more to offer in terms of conversation due to a busy schedule and environment. Not always but you catch my drift...

But remember in the end it’s a numbers game and you won’t appeal to everyone. Don’t take it personally and reflect on your interactions in the field to sharpen your tactics. Apps can be toxic if you rely on them too much.

[–]TheStumblingWolf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The threshold for success online is quite high. Even as a very average man I have far greater success irl. It's the 80/20 rule and all that.

[–]thrwy754791 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In other words: Is it over if you're ugly?

No.

An ugly dude with social skills, and a good body, can absolutely score plenty of girls.

[–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Used to pull chicks off of IRC back in the day, but ultimately it was more work that just talking to women.

[–]dutchgguy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

fuck I was about to think it was my personality :S

[–]letmereadthatshit0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

What about penis size doesn't that give you more smv?

[–]argusF 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Irrelevant - the issue is getting the women into the bedroom in the first place.

[–]letmereadthatshit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well if you don't satisfy her im sure she will find someone who does

[–]1XXXMersenne0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

cold approach is way better in my opinion - it keeps you sharp, savvy and up to date with current social dynamics and gives you an edge no one else has because they're always filtering themselves. You learn to interact with style, grace & serious humour.

Online is useless if you have a fast-paced lifestyle as you just cannot be fucked for the flaking and bullshit chit chat. Don't get me wrong - I have nothing against it and even use it now and then to sharpen my text game when I grab numbers out and am getting frazzled over how to proceed. But the nonsensical sequence of hi-chat-joke-number-logistics is way too slow for me. I'd only be able to put up with it if I hadn't cultivated the cold approach skills; but since I have, they're hands down the best.

Having a fucking blast and inviting girls you like over to your warm end of the pool is the absolute shit after a long day and I learned how to do this progressively over 2018 going out (usually) 7 nights a week. I'm 21 and work 9to5 in accounting.

Then again I live in the UK and the dating pool here is generally referred to as a swamp - I agree, since I need almost 0 game when abroad: Barcelona, Munich etc. But I'm glad I do have it abroad, it gives you just a total level of social and seductive mastery in all situations. Priceless.

[–]JSuma0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I am the same way but I'm not ugly. All my friends say I should be killing it on tinder but I just cant get a feel for texting. Need to see em in person.

[–]Thrawy1250 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Opposite for me, I find online much easier.

[–]Blaze-Bless0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, can confirm cold approach is way fucking better, where I am/in my circumstance anyways. Online is ok, but in-person is higher success rates, easier to communicate with, you can make eye contact, read her body language, etc.

[–]Ryabemo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well... you’ll just have to work harder than most men but even then, is it really justified just for a woman?

[–]PolesWithGoals0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

At my school it is, but everywhere else it’s not the end of the world bro, I promise

[–]DonJuan_690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Grow a pair and approach them. Dont hide behind a screen. Try it for a month and i guarantee you, you will have a handful of successful stories.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Depends what sort of ugly. In all honesty, I see a few guys in my daily life which I think would be very hard to turn into success stories.

These guys are extremely thin, bad hair, skin and very effeminate.

I feel awful saying it, but I think there are lost causes.

[–]syn1us2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Nothing that testosterone injections can't take care of.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah, I didn't think of that. Would be interesting to see with these guys.

[–]syn1us5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would love to see a state-sponsored masculinization program for soyboys.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Absolutely.

And no. Ugly=80% of men. Sex happens, and a lot of it, all the time, everywhere.

[–]Vikingcel-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you are ugly it is over indeed.



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