What are the major red flags to notice on a girl?

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July 31, 2019

Point out whatever you want


  • tattos
  • piercings
  • drugs/alcohol
  • feminism
  • daddy issues (?)
  • bissexual
  • bipolar/borderline (undeniable the worst IMO)

I'm speaking in terms of a LTR or a simple casual/plate. Just want to know your opinion or takes on this subject

Post Information
Title What are the major red flags to notice on a girl?
Author LiquidRevenant
Upvotes 187
Comments 278
Date 31 July 2019 05:55 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/247582
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ckbxtv/what_are_the_major_red_flags_to_notice_on_a_girl/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
long term relationshipplatefeminism

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY2002236 points237 points  (57 children) | Copy

Drug/Drink misuse is the big one.

Been there, done that. A woman that likes cocaine? Nothing but trouble.

A woman that likes to drink 3-5 times a week, gets smashed every weekend? Nightmare.

Poor money management is also a huge red flag. I've seen this wreck homes.

Social media presence/use.

"Living for likes" as some say, causes major problems.

[–]Wobblewobblegobble27 points28 points  (17 children) | Copy

What was the girl like the one that uses cocaine?

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY200225 points26 points  (2 children) | Copy

Unstable, impulsive, made poor money decisions, was in constant denial.

[–]imtheoneimmortal6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

It’s same for men

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20020 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. Evil drug, man.

[–]eagerlearner73234 points35 points  (1 child) | Copy

“Wobble wobble gobble”

[–]Wobblewobblegobble32 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy

Clever name isn’t it

[–]rnsbrum9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

I think they are fun. You need a girl like that to party

[–]GiraffeOnWheels12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

Fun for the weekends

[–]ihateyouguys2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

When else are you trying to spend time with girls?

[–]rnsbrum0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly, thats what I need.

[–]asorals0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fun to bang every now and then, thats it

[–]IndiansSmellLikePoo11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy

I know some girls that like cocaine and let me tell you whatever guy who marries her will want to kill himself within 6 months of doing so. They're a basket cases brother.

[–]CasaDeFranco0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Casually seeing a girl who's friend in investment banking uses cocaine. What are those who use cocaine recreationally like?

[–]IndiansSmellLikePoo0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Pretty rude and disrespectful

[–]CasaDeFranco0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Haha, yeah I can see that. I've met some obnoxious coke users but wasn't sure if it was uniform across most users.

[–]IndiansSmellLikePoo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Most of the time they are like that. It fries their brain.

[–]Rick_White1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Buddy of mine dated some cokesluts back in the day (was a bouncer & hung out with drug dealers) he told me the cokesluts would literally fuck/suck anyone for blow; and do it behind their BF's back.

[–]m3g4s33d0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]whostonedtx13 points14 points  (4 children) | Copy

This describes quite a few of my friends. They’ve tried to rope me into that lifestyle but I don’t give in

[–]red__Man31 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy

you better find new friends

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY200219 points20 points  (2 children) | Copy

Ditch them. Trust me, it's the only way to prosper.

"Show me your friends and I'll show you your future"

Next time you see them, recite this to yourself.

[–]whostonedtx1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

They don’t do coke etc around me they know I don’t mess with that .

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20020 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Still, get rid of them.

[–]Twenty_league_boots18 points19 points  (13 children) | Copy

Totally agree with this. Tattoos and piercings, surprisingly enough, have not been correlated with slutty behavior in my experience, which was very surprising to me.

[–]cdh100325 points26 points  (12 children) | Copy

I used to see tattoos as a big red flag. Perhaps I was correct to do so in my earlier days (late teens, 20s...) But they're now so common that it's not just the 'bad girls' that have them, so I'm rethinking this one.

[–]send_it_for_the_boys16 points17 points  (10 children) | Copy

It depends where they are located and what they are and what they mean. Like a little cross or flower on a wrist or ankle or their dead grandmothers signsture isn’t a big deal but a sleeve going up to the neck might be a problem.

[–]jonsmif97975 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

I kinda disagree with the tattoos on the wrist part.

Girls with tattoos on their wrist, in my experience, are slutty or very masculine. Btw, if you look at the tattoo pain chart, tattoos on wrist are really painful. Guess what that tells us huh?

[–]Deadlybeef15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

Btw, if you look at the tattoo pain chart, tattoos on wrist are really painful. Guess what that tells us huh?

She likes anal?

[–]m3g4s33d1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]PandaLitter0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

What about the ones covering the thigh or the upper back near the shoulder

[–]send_it_for_the_boys1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I meet so many attractive girls that have thigh tatoos imo it ruins their legs

[–]PandaLitter0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Why do they get them? It blows my mind why someone would do it in that particular spot

[–]send_it_for_the_boys1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Idk lol. In the area I live, some girls they have this trend going on where they’re “gypsy souls and hippies” wear strange clothes, get weird tattoos and piercings and some wear these big hats.

[–]PandaLitter2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You mean the Coachella look?

[–]send_it_for_the_boys0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah! Something like that lol

[–]BatsNightmares8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

"Living for likes" as some say, causes major problems.

Yes. Spending too much time in Social Media is also a big red flag..God knows who she's talking with while you're away.

[–]deathhandmachiavelli5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Social media presence/use.

Even some social media stars give it up when they meet the right man. I know TWO examples of girls that I know who had thousands of followers and several hundred guys would like anything they did.

Both girls are local models where I'm from, and both closed their accounts once they met the right man.

This goes back to a point that I sometimes make.

Ultimately it is weak men who are responsible for a woman's bad behavior.

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20024 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy


You can't turn a ho into a housewife, period.

You can be the most ruthless guy going, but if she's got it in her to cheat then that's what she WILL do.

[–]oVerde4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

These are solid red flag for any person. Never have anyone close to you that has any life built on any of these treats.

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20020 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]bootyjuice1232 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I second the cocaine use.

[–]trpadvice12 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Social media presence/use.

"Living for likes" as some say, causes major problems.

Isnt this like all attractive women though? I think girls who don't have a social media are few and far between, eapecially hot ones.

How old are you out of curiosity?

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20022 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy


I know some stunning women who rarely post at all.

Mid 30's, why?

[–]trpadvice12 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I misunderstood. I thought you meant if they have a social media account at all it is a red flag.

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20020 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That kind of thing would make me instantly propose! Haha.

[–]Bob_Surunk2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Right on the money! Don’t learn this the hard way. It sucks once you have feelings.

[–]watchguy451 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Weed use a problem?

Just got out of an LTR. She would drink 2-3 drinks every night and get drunk on weekends (at dinner with me) while i stuck to 1-2.

She used coke in the past and weed every week.

Lessons learned

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20020 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not unless her smoking buddies are men and the smoking is done after work.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

"Living for likes" as some say, causes major problems.

You have NO idea.

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20020 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy


[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

A girl from my past played games for years (and still continues) because her beta orbiters are obsessed over her being a virgin, and might kill themselves because she'd rather fuck the ugly dude (me) than the leading contender for World's Greatest Air Conditioning Repairman. She was so focused on the validation she gets from beta orbiters it ruined her chances forever of getting the guy she actually wanted for a LTR. Sad.

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20021 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Classic case of not seeing the woods for the trees.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In her defense (ugh), one of her beta orbiters DID kill himself because she was interested in me over him. But rather than learn from that experience and decide to just not lead on other guys, she kept up the behavior for YEARS. It's literally still going on, believe it or not. To the point that all her female friends ghosted her over the way she was acting.

[–]Ivabighairy1195 points196 points  (32 children) | Copy

A huge one that is often overlooked is a lot of male friends and very few female ones.

[–]4thAndLong135 points136 points  (2 children) | Copy

"GuYs hAve LeSs DrAma" I laugh hearing that line.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas48 points49 points  (1 child) | Copy

tHeY lIkE mE fOr My pErSoNaLiTy

[–]m3g4s33d1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

my personality happens to be in the back of my throat

[–]mrrooftops38 points39 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah. Those girls like the thirsty, and other girls steer clear because of the histrionic narcissistic unhealthiness

[–]David-Trace38 points39 points  (12 children) | Copy

This one’s huge. Never trust a female who has a lot of male friends.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas29 points30 points  (4 children) | Copy

It signals that her life revolves around male validation.

[–]nicyhasreddit5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Isn't that true for all females

[–]Looking_4_Stacys_mom5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

The ones with lots of female friends is also, but to a lesser extent. You'll take that over Hannah Hanscock

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

For some it's a much more dominant concern than others.

[–]m3g4s33d0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Some women have not indulged in MA quite so heavily as others. These women are usually easier to deal with.

[–]prettyawsm4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

Why tho? I've met some and didnt notice anything special.

[–]David-Trace10 points11 points  (5 children) | Copy

A female who tends to have a lot of male friends indicates, as others said, that they require a lot of validation. This often demonstrates immaturity and a shallow persona revolving around the female.

Not only does she require a lot of validation, but she most likely has a thing with at least one of the male friends, or in other words, she’s more likely than not to be fucking one of her “male friends.”

The more male friends she has, the higher the possibility that one of them isn’t just a “friend.”

[–]ProFriendZoner6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

To sum up: Daddy Issues!

[–]Looking_4_Stacys_mom5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Also females with lots of girlfriends generally has very high SMV, hot girls hangout with hot girls.

[–]m3g4s33d1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. The hottest and most positive babes usually have a possy.

[–]prettyawsm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the tip.

[–]nicyhasreddit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

awalt brother

[–]ZeppKfw18 points19 points  (4 children) | Copy

Can anyone explain this to me? I've dated one and she's fucking bonkers but I've never really understood.

[–]4thAndLong50 points51 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lots of guy friends = orbiters

[–]jonsmif979728 points29 points  (1 child) | Copy

Either she is masculine (doesn't like submitting to your frame) or she loves attention from orbiters (string them along).

For the former, if you are RP and you want to maintain frame, unless she see you as leader and more superior than her in all aspects, she will disparage you and your self-esteem seem to drop slowly and subtly.

For the latter, good luck competing for her attention if you are in LTR.

[–]ZeppKfw14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

You've just accurately described her. When she was done with me she instantly got a bf and one of her orbiters got passive aggressive with me.

[–]ProFriendZoner5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Severe Daddy Issues. They are usually so loose they will lay odds.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

This and "family in law enforcement" are the two biggest signs to stay the fuck away.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hehe my ex-wife ^^ Girls like this can never stick to a partner for long... eventually it always leads to their mid thirties with the sentiment 'Where have all the good men gone".

[–]SmurfSC2TW21 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

What about the opposite ie guys with lots of female "friends" and few male friends? Isnt that trp right there?

Also, girls w lots of female friends and a few male friends are more likely to friendzone in my expetience.

[–]downvotesanimals21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

Having lots of female friends that you don't fuck is the polar opposite of TRP.

[–]jonsmif97975 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Those guys are the "gay" men (often seen hanging out in a group of females in a social setting). Trust me, you don't want to be like them. You will be seen as someone without sexual potential.

"girls w lots of female friends and a few male friends are more likely to friendzone" <- perhaps this is true for the guy who is not accepted by her female friends.

[–]m3g4s33d0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you gotta game the friends a bit, too

you're not friends with her friends, but you do need to use them.

I kiss/kino/flirt/neg/AMOG friends of target female with impunity.

[–]m3g4s33d0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

girls w lots of female friends and a few male friends are more likely to friendzone in my expetience.

yeah, because they are higher value and ain't passing their pussy around like a cheap pizza

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20021 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What's the reasoning behind that?

[–]Project_Zero_Betas2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lots of beta orbiters.

[–]m3g4s33d0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


1.) she's fucked many of her friends

2.) she is addicted to male attention

or both

[–]Ohboohoolittlegirl42 points43 points  (3 children) | Copy

If all her exes are 'assholes'

[–]send_it_for_the_boys10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

Been one of those “assholes” a few times

[–]systemshock8695 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Between myself, my dad, and his friends whose divorces I witnessed, I don't believe women at all when they shit talk their exes. In fact, the more they go on about it the less I believe them.

[–]send_it_for_the_boys2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah the last one I had with an asshole list. I ended up meeting a few of these assholes after I dumped her and needless to say they’re part of my friend group now lol

[–]Rick_White101 points102 points  (23 children) | Copy

Bad relationship with her family. Not friends/friendly with any Ex BFs. Brags about being "Crazy". Can't hold a job. Too much makeup. Never offers to pay for anything. ALWAYS on her phone.

[–]Modbsutansalt[M] 36 points37 points  (2 children) | Copy

Bad relationship with her family.

This includes no father at home.

[–]NeedRealityShock2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

At what age treshold does this become a problem?

Like imagine the dad got run over by a bus. What age does the daughter need to have in order to be "safe"

[–]Modbsutansalt4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'd say once she's started fucking. If he is out of the picture before that benchmark in life then there could be problems. Obviously the younger she is when the dad is gone the more daddy issues and mental problems you're likely to encounter.

[–]thetotalpackage718 points19 points  (10 children) | Copy

Always on the phone is a big one.

[–]IceBear---69 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

I literally tell any date, plate, LTR to turn it off & leave it by the front door with their things. It's magic & makes interactions much better.

[–]red__Man9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

don't you make her walk through a gun detector too

[–]IceBear---6914 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy

Ladies who conceal carry are definitely a Green Flag.

[–]umizumiz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]red__Man0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]user123456786549 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

Aren't all women mostly doing this?

[–]duck_tales33 points34 points  (0 children) | Copy

most women are poor options for ltr.

[–]boolDozer5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Only if she's bored with you.

[–]m3g4s33d0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

or addicted to her smartphone

[–]m3g4s33d0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Tragically, this is the main reason I've dumped a lot of girls <20.

It makes time together so fucking dull and I can't respect them.

[–]youcancallmedada49 points50 points  (4 children) | Copy

You’d like her to be buds with an ex?

[–]AnonUser100518 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

i think what he meant was "if she has no friends OR is friends with her ex"

[–]deejayapster17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

they all made sense except this one, i didn't understand it either.. why would you want your lady to be able to be friends with her ex boyfriends? lmfao

[–]Rick_White0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She doesn't have to be friends with her ex. But if she's not friendly with at least one or two of them, that's a massive flag. Think of it like this: If the breakup was such clusterfuck that they hate each other, that's NOT a good sign, no matter what happened. I'm friendly with most of my ex's and still best friends with one of them. It's healthy to have friendships with the opposite sex & shows emotional maturity to handle a breakup with grace; tantrums, screaming matches, stalking are all very unacceptable.

And I'm not insecure, nor have I ever been jealous of any woman I'm seeing's ExBf. They gave the relationship a shot; it didn't work. I'm NOT ok with a woman I'm seeing keeping in touch with a guy she had a one night stand with, or a short fling, or had FWB with; That's unfinished business and also a massive flag.

[–]buttgoogler0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Who are you talking about? Big no for an LTR, zero fucks given if it's FWB/ONS.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not friends/friendly with any Ex BFs


[–]David-Trace1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Haha describes my ex perfectly

[–]hedden931 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

100% agree with brags about being crazy. They embrace being shitty and have zero introspection. Run

[–]nicyhasreddit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why should she be friendly with an ex bf though? If she has contact with one she can easily go back to him if you lose frame.

[–]reasonableman1131 points132 points  (18 children) | Copy

My main ones:

  • loves male attention.
  • no female friends. She should have a 5-10x ratio of male to female friends.
  • does not reciprocate or help you in a general "good person" way. There are many women that do not even think about offering to help you when you're doing something.
  • thinks "money is for spending" and considers saving a personality flaw.
  • high conflict personality - lots of arguments and fights with people
  • never offers to pay
  • has signs that she thinks she is better than you. She will treat you like shit eventually.
  • history of bad boy boyfriends/flings

Possible red flags:

  • very extraverted (this often can be a sign of needing attention)
  • poor diet. She might be thin now, but this will catch up to her. This can still be a good woman, but it's a red flag for your relationship because your desire will subside.
  • low IQ . This will bite you in the ass in one of the other ways below.

Signs I do not believe are red flags on their own, unless combined with above items:

  • feminism, if viewed mainly as egalitarianism
  • fun colored hair
  • some tattoos

Signs I consider green flags:

  • kind. I don't mean in that generic "I'm a nice person" way, but actually actively and truly kind. Imagine aspects of Mr. Rogers showing up in your woman. That's good stuff.
  • a traditional view of relationships. Submissive, but not a doormat. The kind of submissiveness that makes you want to step up to defend and support her.
  • low need for male validation
  • interested in sex and giving pleasure
  • she actively prefers hanging out with you. Some guys would think this is clingy, but I find it a positive when it comes to LTR.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (2 children) | Copy

Those green flags are what guys would fall head over heels for. Its just a shame that its not common today.

[–]reasonableman126 points27 points  (1 child) | Copy

Geez. These aren’t things like “she’s a millionaire“ or “model good looks”. It’s a shame that the bar is so low.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

One thing for sure imo, you wont find that girl or anywhere near it on tinder or on a night out.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

This list is spot on.

[–]thrwy754795 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wouldn't be so sure about the green flags. I've known girls that were absolute, verified sluts who changed their name, and moved to a different country.

Once there, they did a 180 in terms of their behaviours. They became submissive, nice, traditional/religious, and learned homemaker skills such as cooking, cleaning, etc. They knew exactly what to do to lure in their bait by becoming "perfect" wives. Single travelling, and/or relocation is a huge red.

With girls (and perhaps people, in general), everything's an act to attract or please. We all do it at work by pleasing our boss, or coworkers to keep our jobs. There's also a different mask that's put on for family than the one for friends.

Point is, nothing is 100%. You can trust, but you should always verify.

"Success breeds complacency. Complacency breeds failure. Only the paranoid survive." - Andrew Grove

[–]Krebota1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

My LTR is all of the mentioned green flags, yet it still keeps crossing my mind that it's boring and I'd rather bang a few others, but that will probably backfire. I feel like an idiot for feeling bored but as they say, men want what they cannot have. I take it from your comment that no matter what, I should stick with her?

[–]GiraffeOnWheels4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

If you want an LTR. I've had a lot of fun but looking to settle down. Also found a girl with those green flags so I'm keeping her. If you're not interested in it though you'll probably end up fucking it up

[–]Krebota1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Been in this LTR for almost 10 months now. I did want an LTR because I was inexperienced in everything and wanted someone 'permanent' to just, I guess, learn. Happened to be a great decision considering the person, it's only now that I'm thinking 'oh what if I just could bang her' since I'm a student and still young. My vision on it keeps shifting to the point I'm now talking about it in an askTRP comment section lol.

[–]GiraffeOnWheels6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah you'll always be thinking of the different girls you could bang. Sounds like you have a good set up to me but if you don't want to actually build something with her you'll probably just end up building resentment and things will fall to shit.

A lot of guys on here like to talk about how fun it is to go around banging random girls, but not all guys are like that. I mean, i had fun doing it but never really kept them around because i was looking for the next one that I'd like to stay with. Sounds to me like you gotta do some introspection.

[–]jonsmif97971 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's what I initially thought as well. But after taking the RP I feel like if your girl makes you feel bored, you are having a boring life.

My belief right now shifts to an LTR is supposed to reflect your life because an LTR submissive to you adopts your lifestyle.

[–]ZR19870 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly right! If a woman had posted what Krebota said above, we would be quoting it here on this sub as a red pill proof. No other person has the ability to make you bored. That is the red pill truth.

Edit for typo.

[–]umizumiz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

low IQ . This will bite you in the ass in one of the other ways below.

Literally believed I could educate one girl. It got to the point where I started thinking stupidly when around her, like I caught Dumbass. General intelligence is huge

[–]m3g4s33d0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

high conflict personality

This is among my top red flags. Unnecessary turmoil is obnoxious and, ultimately, women you select will be representing you in social situations and taking up psychic space in your life. Dump the drama queens.

[–]Flapfapaway0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Just a comment on the male to female friend ration. Did you mean she should have 5-10× more female friends to male friends? Or 5:10 male to female friends, which is essentially just 2 friends for every guy friend

[–]reasonableman10 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

She should have 10x more female friends.

[–]Flapfapaway-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

That's ridiculous. I doubt anyone has 10x more friends in a gender, whether male or female.

[–]reasonableman1-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your aspergers is showing. The fact that you couldn't tell what I meant and are taking it so literally shows it.

[–]Flapfapaway0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nah I was kidding at first, but clearly you're an asshole so now I just wanted to point it out.

[–]YouNeverKnowAnyone56 points57 points  (5 children) | Copy

She won’t pee on you

[–]ZeppKfw31 points32 points  (1 child) | Copy

A man of culture I see

[–]YouNeverKnowAnyone21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

tips white, pissed stained fedora

[–]HumbleTrees4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]send_it_for_the_boys3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

rookie....she doesn’t want you to shit on her chest

[–]wolfbarkpoop1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

An aristocrat

[–]EqualFaithlessness19 points20 points  (7 children) | Copy

Can confirm bi sexual & on a ton of psych meds

[–]LiquidRevenant[S] 6 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy

Do you considerer bissexual girls as way more promiscuous or have some other particular issue with bissexualism? Please explain

[–]bumbuff14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

Lots of bi girls think sleeping with a girl isn't cheating

[–]EqualFaithlessness10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

They are very sexual beings, which is nice. But let’s be honest you’re competing with two genders.

Besides that they’re bat shit crazy. Social media they live and die by and it’s just not someone I can make a future with

[–]Foolishoe4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

These people don't seem to have many well put together associations with bisexuals. It can be a serious red flag, the last woman I dated that said she was bi was totally fucking lying. I was interested in her partially because I wanted to fuck women with her which never happened.

I wouldn't say they are always crazy or into lots of sex. I know plenty of them that stick to single partners or only have sex with a few people over the course of years.

[–]machinavelli0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Why did she lie about being bisexual?

[–]Paroxismm3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Probably to be cool

[–]Autistic_Reeeeeeeeee18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy

Being a female is a big red flag for me.

You just can't trust them.

[–]NeverLace16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

Going gay is the real red pill

[–]Autistic_Reeeeeeeeee9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gay but no homo though.

[–]jsphere25646 points47 points  (11 children) | Copy

If she brings up her dad or her ex on the first date, run.

[–]HumbleTrees53 points54 points  (9 children) | Copy

Date two weekends ago. She asks how old I've dated. Like 2 years older. Ask her the same. She's dated 23 years her senior. Red flag. I jokingly ask "are there any daddy issues I need to be aware of?"

Her: "yes. My father killed himself when I was 6. That lead to alcohol problems in my teens and never competing school"

It was like redflag pinball. Ding ding fucking ding.

[–]Alphabetron117 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly, props to her for understanding she has those issues unlike most dumb girls out there but I definitely would've left.

[–]NeedRealityShock7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy

How did that one end?

[–]send_it_for_the_boys15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy

10$ said he proposed

[–]hemodialysisfx10000 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

My girls told me about one of her one night stand on the second date is that a red flag ?

[–]send_it_for_the_boys0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why would you want to be with a chick other then plating her that talks about her past sexual encounters?

[–]HumbleTrees0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Rather shortly after that. Could have probably taken her home but I don't put my dick in crazy.

[–]umizumiz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Knew it, you left her just like her daddy! lol good on ya to get away, she would've been fun tho i'm sure

[–]IndiansSmellLikePoo4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Did you marry her?

[–]HumbleTrees0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol. I snapped that unicorn up in a heartbeat

[–]MegladonBass[🍰] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Niamke_Mode128 points29 points  (5 children) | Copy

  • Refuses to get rid of orbiters
  • Stays in contact with ex-boyfriend(s)
  • Initiates sex more than you (sign of possible abuse/insecurity, definite sign that she is low value)
  • Extremely feminine but not submissive (I had an ex-gf while blue pill like this. LSS she slept around)
  • Doesn't encourage and adapt to your lifestyle (she's not invested and will likely cheat on you)
  • No job/ambition (you don't want a working woman, but she needs to have her own life)
  • Lives with/takes care of parents
  • Childish
  • Wants lots of kids (most likely doesn't want them by the same man or has some she hasn't told you about)
  • Prudish (shows she's unlikely to change or accept your ambitions)

[–]Foolishoe2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I really like your answers.

Lots of kids one made me laugh thank you.

[–]Niamke_Mode11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you. I'm here to help.

[–]opinden0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Good list man, would like to expand a bit on your final point. If sex is terrible at the start of the relationship (she's insecure, sex with clothes on, lights off, covers her tummy ect...) it's highly unlikely this will change regardless of how comfortable you are with her. Prudish girls most likely have an abuse history (physical, mental or sexual). Things will NOT get better.

[–]Niamke_Mode12 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Correct, but let's clarify. A woman can also be prudish because she truly adheres to parental, societal, or religious norms. On the flip side, an abused woman isn't automatically a prude. An abused woman normally has 3 paths: become a prude, develop rape/submission fetishes, or remain a 'normal' (for lack of a better term) woman. The normal ones normally have emotional/validational issues though, which is a red flag. Your thoughts?

[–]jonsmif97972 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

All three paths have one thing in common - emotional baggage.

Trust me, unless you are professionally trained, you don't want to deal with that emotional shit. Those shit wears your frame down (you can't pass those tests because they are not tests, they are the shit ingrained in those abused women).

That said, most if not all women nowadays have some sort of emotional baggage. It's up to you to draw the line.

[–]1TyroneTheDriver12 points13 points  (5 children) | Copy

Large amounts of debt.

Constant relationships, because she never learned to be alone.

Tells you to not use a condom.

Sleeps with you immediately (if you’re not looking to plate.)

Tattoos that are visible if she dresses professionally, on the hands, neck, especially face.

Children under the age of 25 with no real story as to why the relationship didn’t work.

N count over 20 before 30.

No education, no attempt to become educated.

Easily angered or physically violent.

Never reads.

Uses sex as a weapon.

Can’t cook, because she orders out for every meal.

No fitness routine whatsoever and no plans to change that.

No girl friends.

[–]pingutuxy1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

If someone sleeps with you easily and doesnt want you to use condom, what estimated N count do you think she has?

[–]1TyroneTheDriver5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Too high

[–]ZR19870 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. You can never really know the N count, but you can make an educated guess.

[–]m3g4s33d0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Tells you to not use a condom.

I think this one might even be in the sidebar somewhere.

[–]1TyroneTheDriver1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If it isnt, it should be.

Educate your sons

[–]IceBear---6964 points65 points  (37 children) | Copy

Plates & LTRs are incredibly different in terms of red flags. Plates should be hot & fun to be around. LTRs need to go through rigorous vetting for 6 months - 1 year before even considering exclusivity.

Here are some of my LTR Flags / requirements: LTR Means Looking For The Mother of Your Children

  • Plates that aren't fucking anyone else are the only ones I'll consider for LTR
  • N-count: You'll never truly know. This is why the 6 months - 1 year is important. It allows you to get a good read on her behavioral patterns, friends & past history. If she volunteers it at some point, that paired with the above will help give you a very rough approximation (if you're set on being a detective).
  • Drinking alcohol: If she's into the club / bar scene, no commitment. An ideal LTR will only drink when you're with her..... preferably does not drink at all.
  • Drugs: Just don't
  • No tattoos: Even the smallest, most innocuous ones are a hard no for me these days. Usually, but not always indicative of bad/slutty behavior. Bigger question is.... "why put bumper stickers on a Ferrari?"
  • Has EVER been into: cosplay, dying hair unnatural colors, piercings other than ears, wigs (this one seems silly, but I opened a can of worms when she had ordered a wig & said she wants to wear it out in public so no one will notice her and she can feel like someone else. Haha this was near the end of that LTR).
  • Doesn't cook or help tidy up when she's over. Not all the time, but she should want to make her alpha happy by being feminine.
  • Going on trips without you.
  • Travels for work.
  • Has males friends or gay friends (Don't ignore this one).
  • No female friends (BIG ONE!)
  • Super active on social media.
  • Won't turn her phone off when she comes around. (I tell them to leave it by the door).
  • Bad relationship with her father / absent father.
  • Love bombing early on / reveals intimate details about her past too soon
  • Puts out in the first 2 dates (not getting commitment). If you're fucking awesome, the legit quality ones will still give it up by date 3-5 in my experience because you're making her feel tingles.
  • Doesn't ask about protection before fucking for the first time. Let's you go raw right off the bat.
  • Cuts her hair short without asking you (Next)

There are too many to list, but this was just me spitballin'

It's important to remember that this extreme vetting is only the beginning. You want to have quality marble before starting to sculpt a masterpiece.

[–]LiquidRevenant[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Geez, that's a nice touch on the subject. Maybe i did not foreseen this LTR=/=plate criterias because i never had an LTR. Thanks

[–]AdeHMar16 points17 points  (9 children) | Copy

dying hair unnatural colors

I prefer a girl with dark blue hair than that disgusting blonde dye that's common nowadays.

[–]IceBear---6910 points11 points  (8 children) | Copy

All of these will be subjective depending on your criteria. However, the more common red flags like piercings, dyed hair & tattoos exist for a good reason.

[–]AdeHMar2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

Of course, but a lot of girls just dye their hair because they like it.

The girls that dye their hair with that disgusting blonde are automatically whores to me.

[–]kellykebab5 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy

Of course, but a lot of girls just dye their hair because they like it.

No one just does anything because they like it. People communicate their psychology, character, and emotions with everything they do, whether they intend to or not. With enough life experience, you pick up on those communications quicker and more reliably.

[–]AdeHMar-5 points-4 points  (5 children) | Copy

Or, hear me out, they dye their hair because they like it.

I know right? Crazy, almost incredible!

[–]kellykebab4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

What you said isn't an explanation of anything. Why do they like it? If you don't care to know, that's fine for you, but don't pretend that your content-free statement explains anything at all.

[–]AdeHMar1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

You really need a philosophical, profound, well thought and researched explanation as to why someone might like something?

Jesus. I like wine, therefore, I drink fucking wine. Wow!

[–]kellykebab2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Okay bud, I get it. You're a third grader.

Again, saying "I like wine" tells me nothing. I don't care if you want to live in a world that simple, but why in god's name are you arguing with other people to convince them to shut down their brains on a Red Pill sub of all places?

The entire point of being here is to understand human behavior, particularly female human behavior. That's literally the reason this sub exists.

Why do you like wine? You like wine because ethanol (or alcohol) causes inhibition to be lowered in the human brain, it increases a sensation of topical warmth, it numbs physical pain, and it reduces short term memory (which can blot out recent unpleasant encounters or life situations).

You probably also like it because wine as seen as a sophisticated and adult way to become intoxicated with ethanol. There is a romantic European aura around wine and its long historical production in the Old World. Wine is seen as classy and is, to some degree, healthier than beer or spirits.

You probably also like wine because of the taste. Different grapes are fermented in different ways to suggest a wide variety of subtle flavor notes and textures. Different individuals will have different palettes that react to wine in different ways, both in the terms of the type of flavor and the intensity. People with a poor sense of smell, for example, also cannot taste very much subtlety in foods are drink. These people are only going to enjoy the most full-bodied, intense wines, if they even life wine at all.

And finally, maybe you like certain wines because you like the label and you like the price. I'm not going to elaborate on that one, because I think I've made my main point: as I said before, no one just likes anything. People like things for observable reasons.

Do you really just not think about or care about anything? You just go through life not trying to figure out why people or reality is the way it is? You just accept things as they are? That doesn't sound very red pilled, to be honest. That's virtually the definition of being blue pilled.

Now, how does this relate to women who dye their hair? Again, I don't give a fuck if you don't want to understand the world, but your suggestion that your lack of understanding is a greater explanation than someone else's actual explanation is aggressively retarded. It's important to understand why women like what they like because then you actually understand their character, their psychology, and their emotions. And once you understand that, you can then predict their likely behavior in many more situations than if you have no idea why they are the way they are and you just guess wildly when trying to figure out how they're going to act. Have predictive knowledge of other people allows you to deal with them more successfully and how to accept their failings more reasonably. ...which is the entire point of the Red Pill.

[–]AdeHMar0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy


[–]rejjiesnortssnow3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You just described my type

[–]nogucewek4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy

What is with having no male friends? What is the reason?

[–]IceBear---6932 points33 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're a guy. You should know the answer. Ever hang around a girl because you want to just pal around? Unlikely. These dudes are trying to fuck her. Not doing a good job at it, but still trying to fuck her at the end of the day.

A female who keeps orbiters strung along usually does it for the validation high or possibly as an option for a one off thing when you mess up. An actual lady knows that this is unacceptable behavior. Would she be happy if you kept a ton of female friends around?

More & more generations of young women are not being taught correctly what is acceptable & unacceptable behavior due to a lack of strong male leaders in their life.

[–]mrrooftops7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

This, they will be actively or passively try to undermine you to her. Not worth the trouble in LTR.

[–]NabroleonBonaparte9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

You want a feminine girl or a masculine girl?

A feminine girl has nothing in common with men, so why would she hangout with men?

Most likely means she’s dated these guys or wants to worst case scenario. Best case (still shitty) scenario, she’s more likely to be masculine.

Do you really want to date a girl who brings competition to your relationship?

[–]Foolishoe5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

He's wrong about this. Healthy socially connected people have male and female friends.

There are strong red flags for friends she would drop everything for, even something important with you, but that seriously depends on your level of involvement and the amount of time that you have known her.

Few people are well rounded and most women will have severely less male friends and they will be held at a comfortable distance [because they know the closer they get the more they get the wrong impression]

I'm saying this from personal experience. I have dozens of female friends I am not trying to have sex with. Most of them are childhood or early adulthood friends. I know the parents, siblings, and many many of the people they know.

It's normal if the circumstances under which they are having the friendship is normal, which can vary from situation to situation.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

He's wrong about this. Healthy socially connected people have male and female friends.

Agreed, but she should DEFINITELY have more girl friends than male friends.

[–]Foolishoe0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Gender isn't the issue. Mental problems all over the board mean that you can't assume a marker like gay or male or tattoo or hair or profession really gives you the full understanding of these 'friends' so you go out and you spend some time around them.

The cunts that need to be iced tell her to fight with you over shit, nitpick over shit, they stir shit up and they make her feel brave and strong and right for sticking up for herself.

Usually sticking up for herself against wrongs you aren't really committing, or that aren't wrongs to you and shouldn't be wrongs to any sane person.

My friend recently went through this, he was gaslighted by his girlfriend's new 'friend' who did a great job of splitting them up. He deserves better. A good woman doesn't have shit friends like that unless they were homies way the fuck back, and they have the smarts and the balls to keep the drama out of your life or they don't really care about you.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Terrible friends are universal across the gender spectrum. I think the best route is to just weed out those who obviously have ulterior motives beyond your actual friendship.

[–]nogucewek1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. Couldn't agree more! I do have a lot of female friends I am not trying have sex with as well, and they do help me with getting laid sometimes. Having male friends is completely normal! If you really have any issues with your LTR having male friends, then you're still a freaking beta.

[–]DipperEgg1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

What's the issue with short hair? Are you talking about a masculine haircut rather than just down to the neck?

[–]IceBear---694 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's not that it's short, it's that she mutilated part of what initially made her attractive to you without consulting you first. Every single LTR I've had has tried to shit test me with "What if I cut my hair super short"? I'd just say something like "Nah, you look way sexier with long hair. Besides, I need something to pull from behind".

[–]prince0verit3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

"What if I cut my hair super short?"

Then I'd break up with you.

[–]mcl1162 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

What is it about piercings and tattoos that are a red flag? Especially in a more progressive time where these things are becoming much more acceptable? What about on a more artsy/creative type girl?

Are we talking any piercings that aren’t the ears? Nose ring? Belly button ring? What about just a bunch of ear piercings?

What if the tattoo has to do with their beliefs and views on life?

What about a girl that has had previous lesbian experiences but prefers guys?

Does a father that cheated on their mother but they stayed together count? Relationship between mother and father feels rather loveless. Definitely strained father daughter relationship in HS/college.

[–]ZeppKfw13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Piercings and tattoos are BIG NO since it usually indicates unstable personality and vying for attention. I've seen girls with small tattoos that's hidden and they don't go apeshit with rabies like other ones with eye catching tattoos.

[–]deejayapster1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with most of this, but curious about why no gay friends?

[–]Foolishoe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It depends, red flags are not deal breakers, they are things to watch out for.

[–]kellykebab0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Dude, it's not about some incredibly formalized checklist of what is and is not acceptable. If you don't mind tattoos, that's your prerogative. The point is that red flags are symptoms of character and emotional issues that will eventually manifest in a relationship, no matter how much the individual tries to hide their nature early on.

People can change, but most people don't. Most people operate roughly according to a consistent (if complex) psychology that, over time, is revealed through predictable patterns in behavior and self-expression. And red flags are very superficial ways to pick up on likely character issues before you've had the time and experience to actually observe the person's behavior.

A red flag is just a clue. For example, imagine you're walking through a dangerous neighborhood late at night in the winter and you see a large man walking towards you with a baseball bat. That's a red flag. Is it "wrong" to walk around with a baseball bat? No. But is there some reasonable probability that this could represent a dangerous situation and you should discreetly cross the street or at least keep your wits about you? Yes, of course.

Tattoos aren't "bad" by themselves. A high N-count isn't "bad" by itself (I mean, it kind of is, the reality is more complicated). These things are "red flags" because over time people have realized that as a matter of probability, the people who behave or express themselves this way tend to have low self-esteem, a poor regard for men, a lower ability to emotionally bond, higher degrees of narcissism and self-absorption, greater likelihood to cheat, and on and on.

Now, of course plenty of people with few or no obvious red flags can turn out to be a bad prospect in this way as well, but they're not doing you the courtesy of telling you upfront, so you'll have to investigate. The girls with the red flags however, are by definition, telling you what they are likely to be like. They may not be. The red flag may not actually be a warning of anything at all. Just like the guy with the bat may not have any kind of ill intent. But why take the risk if you have better options?

[–]jonsmif97970 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I love your analogy.

I want to mention that those irreversible things like tattooing and high N-count are not just something correlation. There's psychological causation behind those actions – and those are the red flags we want to avoid.

[–]kellykebab0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


Yeah, the causation was my point. Both the red flags and even the more objectionable behavior itself (e.g. cheating) are both caused by similar root psychological problems, such as self-esteem issues, histrionic tendencies, inability to commit, etc. Of course, there are causes for the brain psychology as well. Those causes are either biological or environmental, the degree to which scientists still debate.

Ultimately, we shouldn't be expected to do an in depth research project into someone's genetics or family environment before we date them. Instead, we use red flags because they offer a more efficient heuristic. And as you gain more experience, your heuristics (hopefully) become subtler and more accurate.

[–]samuelcollin 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Who cares if she has a gay friend?

[–]IceBear---69 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Gay guys tend to be more promiscuous in general & often take part in unbridled debauchery.

Homosexuality is a mental disorder just like bipolar or schizophrenia....do you really want the mother of your child hanging around crazy people?

[–]wkndatbernardus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Haha, truth right here.

[–]Foolishoe2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

None of the homosexuals I know fit his description. It seriously depends on the level of influence of this kind of friend.

[–]GiraffeOnWheels0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great list but I'd give a lot of leeway for the phone one. My LTR is very tight with her family so occasionally family threads get active. If it was just social media and what not, that's a different story.

[–]escapethesolarsystem52 points53 points  (5 children) | Copy

  • american or British
  • social justice language: "people of color", "privilege", calling people "fascists", etc
  • disrespectful to parents and older people
  • "I don't like kids"
  • LGBT pride / involvement, rainbow flags, etc

Not a full list, just to name a few...

[–]ZeppKfw10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

Bro fr these british girls are the sluttiest I've ever seen.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao living in england, that is the case unfortunately. They do it for attention. It stems from weak father figures that seem to be prevelant in abundance here imo.

[–]DasHylen0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Then you need to see the other Europeans, Like the french or german or dutch.

[–]ZeppKfw0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah western european girls are really slutty nowadays. But so far? British chicks are the sluttiest.

[–]DasHylen1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

ugh! how dare you call them sluts?! don't you know it's empowering to have sex with 100 different people every year?! /s

[–]Svencomputer825 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

One of the absolute main ones is their relationship with their mom and dad. Obviously it's important to have a strong father figure present, but also if they can't treat their parents right, how will they treat anyone else right.

[–]DatingTank9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

If she had a bad relationship with her father, or simply got abandoned by him when growing up, look out for signs of borderline or histrionic personality disorder. Daddy issues are fun with a plate but absolute hell in a LTR. You. Cannot. Fix. Her. But she WILL drag you down with her. Very risky. And even if you only plan on sleeping with her for a few times, be very careful, they have a way of making you fall in love with them. After having tried this just ONE time, I avoid them altogether tbh.

If her mom and dad or her other primary caretakers had a bad relationship, then she never saw as a kid what a healthy relationship looks like. Check for her neediness and her ability to deal with conflicts and talk to her about what she thinks constitutes a good relationship. If you get the feeling that she thinks relationships are like in the movies, or that two people who loves each other never argue, disappoint or hurt each other, then be very careful.

[–]opinden1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mate, you summed it up perfectly. OP and all you other Gents on this page read this over and over.

[–]i-am-the-prize16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

#1 a Penis - tis not a girl.

Edit, ok ok.

" I'm speaking in terms of a LTR or a simple casual/plate "

I would say different things for the plate/casual vs. someone I want for an LTR/wife if I want kids and to go down that path.

Things that my wife has/does that were must-haves for me when considering her as my LTR, and which I actually thought about in my later 20's:

  • Can cook like a champ, not just box stuff, real cooking. I like coming home to a real meal. I like that she cares and puts effort into providing comfort and attention via nourishment.
  • That she wanted kids. I was on the fence, as my mentor was childless by choice but married, so I had a strong male role model espousing staying childless for many years in my 20's, but I wanted someone who wanted to be a nurturer and wanted kids as I thought that as a "normal thing" for a woman to want.
  • She has/had an Above average IQ, I wanted my kids to benefit from both sides of the family.
  • She has/had an Strong EQ, not a book smart but obtuse arrogant nasty woman
  • A Single digit N count. Back then, I didn't know about the studies, that show N count vs divorce rate, but I did feel that women are emotionally connected more than men to sexual partners and felt the pair bonding side of things were important to not have been banged by 50 guys before me.
  • No kids in tow.
  • That she would support traditional household roles and willing to take my surname, didn't have to be libertarian and RKBA too, but not so opposed to my basic views on priorities and rights and responsibilities that we'd be at odds our whole lives together.
  • Could read a book. Seriously, I find women who can't do more than read magazines (or now social media) to be emotional and intellectual equivalents of stunted children. If someone isn't a lifelong learner, what will they have once their looks fade?
  • Active, fit, worked out, active hobbies. Not effing lazy.
  • Was self confident enough to not begrudge my guy time and guy trips.
  • Able to handle their own life and shit, ie: I wasn't saving her, we were simply stronger together.

Things that I prioritized and even "Didn't Mind" in FWB/FB's what I would now call plates:

  • neurotic was ok, slightly crazy was fun and what a ride, literally (this would annoy me with an LTR/wife tho)
  • body, looks and vanity obsessed - I mean constantly shaved beaver was fun - who cares if she's looking in the windows not to window shop, but to check out her own reflection, she wasn't my wife nor a spouse, it was just sex and if XX was fun, and into me when it mattered, let her be self conscious and vain (this would annoy me with an LTR/wife tho)

Obviously some thing are in the 'common to both' group:

  • physically attractive
  • willing to please sexually
  • not too annoying, everyone has peculiarities, but c'mon, there are limits.
  • enjoyed public spaces, dancing, parties, not a tragic introvert

[–]unnaturalcontrol4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

"The criteria for everyone is subjective"

[–]_Benny_Lava5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bad-mouthing ex boyfriends. Shows immaturity and a lack of self confidence.

[–]hedden933 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Victim mentality/no personal accountability is a huge one for me

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20021 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Jesus, this one is so bad.

When you sit there and try to wrap your head around the logic that someone use's when they play the victim is pretty fucking scary.

[–]Thrawy1259 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

Here's a big red flag :

I was on a date with a first girl, walking up a hill.

Taking a rest cause she was extremely unfit. She asked me a question, I kept taking in the views silently, she then grabbed my dick and started trying to give me hand while saying "Tell me".

[–]mrrooftops3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Depends what the question was buddy.

[–]Thrawy1257 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

"Tell me what your friend said about me"

[–]mrrooftops6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well... what did he say about her that got her knuckledusting you?

[–]wkndatbernardus3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Haha, this happened to me as well. We were on a hike (granted it was up a 3'k mountain, but still) and this trick had to take a break every 15 minutes. I was like, "is your blood type Ragu? Because your cardio is shiittaki mushrooms, girl."

[–]alucard1uk8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

daddy issues, family problems, feminism, talk about ex's and blame them a lot. Always on their phone, friendly with ex's... Avoid Instagram girls, pump them and dump them.

[–]SirAttackHelicopter2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Those aren't really red flags as they can be taken out of context. These are red flags:

  • has only or mostly male friends

  • is not involved in any social circles at all

  • has a poor/negative/bad relationship with father

  • can only be happy or comfortable when under alcohol/drugs/other influences and is otherwise boring and dead inside

  • addicted to social media and it's instant gratification/validation seeking gimmicks

  • is 'comfortable' with their own body and therefore openly flirtatious and immodest to social norms

  • can't manage time or money (always saying they have no time and no money)

  • can lie to you with a straight face.

[–]TheGrandTrinket2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Entitlement mentality, far too controlling and dominant

[–]Costafarian4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

It depends on the individual and their preferences.

I personally am pretty lenient. But for LTR its usually being a single mom thats a big red flag.

Scars on the arms are honestly worse than tattoos IMHO. Always look for those.

Excessive body odor is another. Met a girl once that wreaked of BO. Just a sign she cares little about how she smells.

Thats about it though.

[–]omega_dawg936 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

ime, it all starts with her relationship with her father... it HAS to be one of respect and admiration-even if he wasn't present in her life (divorce, early death, etc).

if she didn't respect her father, she will likely never respect you. if she gets past that criteria, she's 75% in with me.

now if her dad was a loser/idiot, or if she didn't know him bc her mom was slutting it up, I'll give her some time.

[–]jonsmif9797-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

"if her dad was a loser/idiot, or if she didn't know him bc her mom was slutting it up"

No. Just no. Please. She will have daddy issue (but I don't know if that is your fetish).

[–]omega_dawg930 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

i know several that had no contact with their father besides an intro when she was an adult.

they turned out ok. AWALT but some manage to get over their daddy issues to be good women.

btw i don't have any fetishes... and mine (or anyone else's) shouldn't be of your concern. live and let live.

[–]BIitheFooI2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol....I’ve been FWB with a girl with all the red flags one could imagine for a year or so, on and off. BPD, bad family, tattoos, used to have piercings, likes drugs and alcohol (so do I), mostly male friends, bisexual, goes on slut walks - everything. Haven’t had much drama. Sometimes we smash a couple times a week and sometimes we go a month or two. Don’t LTR and you should be fine...

[–]Thinkingard2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

active social media, meaning, they are into it, post a lot, comment a lot, have a lot of followers, have tags or made up names for themselves to look like they are a somebody


bored all the time

always stays over/ quickly jumps from living space to living space

complains about her job

gets offended easily

car/place is a disaster

[–]umizumiz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Trickle truth during initial conversations.

Initial conversations not adding up to subsequent conversations.


Money with seemingly no source

Cosmetic surgery(highly variable, many different kinds of surgeries for many different reasons)

[–]NeedRealityShock3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

What's it with tatoos?

[–]LiquidRevenant[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Denotes impulsive behavior and attention seeking

[–]andyturbo2000 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Smoking - Any girls that smoke are a hard next for me. Smoking, like tattoos but worse, show a certain degree of recklessness. Reckless with your health? Perhaps then you’ll be reckless with me and our relationship.

Tattoos - Again, only reckless, careless and carefree people get tattoos. I have one, it was a mistake when young and I don’t show anyone or tell anyone about it. I was an asshole when young, everyone else who has a tattoo was probably or still is an asshole.

Only sensible people don’t get tattoos or smoke and sensible is good. Girls/people with loads of tattoos are damaged goods. They’re sacrificing their looks for instant gratification and sacrificing the future. Think - I was into Hot Wheels when young...you think I am now? The impulsiveness is red flag. The carelessness is a red flag. The future sacrifice is a red flag. I could go on. Not to mention marking the skin - who he fuck is impressed with that? Unhinged teenagers are tattoo obsessed. You wanna date one of them?

[–]cdh10030 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Smoking for me is a major red flag for LTR for the reasons you give, but can be a green flag for ONS as it says to me "I care about a few minutes of pleasure more than the long-term consequences, and am not too fussed about what I let into my body". Mind you, the taste of second-hand tobacco is disgusting.

[–]CompassionatelyFree 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

What about smoking weed ? Does it make it better if she vapes ?

[–]FaP_caesar1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Social Media Attention Pursuit.

[–]frontiermarine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If her friends are party animals

[–]BatsNightmares1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

1.Tattoos(most important)




[–]Yashugan001 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

and above all

"watch what they do not what they say"

[–]redbananaboard2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy


Daddy issues + mommy issues = HUGE reg flag for me


Text me during work hours to hangout cuz she has nothing going on in life (Like Monday 8 am)

Shitty mindset and negative narrative/ victim role


[–]wkndatbernardus2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can't believe no one mentioned "struggles with her weight." This just means that, if she isn't fat right now, she will blow up at some point in the future if she A) ever gets pregnant and/or B) you aren't on top of coaching that ho's workouts like you're fucking Billy Blanks.

[–]failingtheturingtest3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

I've gotta say, feminism isn't the red flag people think it is. It's the attitude around feminism.

I've had a couple of plates that would describe themselves as feminists, even to the point of having half their bookshelf dedicated to feminist reading.

Three of the best plates I've had were feminist. And here's the deal. They know society is a shit deal. They know they're not getting what they want. They know they need to do sokmethinh about it. But they have been sold a lie about the problem.

They weren't belligerent about talking about feminism. Every time the topic came up, I respectfully showed that I'm not on board with modern feminism. And they listened. We would happily disagree on a few topics, but the core topic of what we expect for ourselves was the same. A lot of feminists want a traditional relationship in their romantic life, but want to be treated as a man in their professional life. That's fine with me..

The Red flag is a sheila who can't listen to anyone else's point of view. One who thinks that disagreeing with a woman is being sexist. That isn't a feminist, it's an idiot who also latched knto feminism.

[–]Foolishoe1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

They fucked the meaning of the word, we as males who want women are hard-core feminist supporters.

We want women to be women. We want them to feel free and powerful and secure and loved and supported. We want all that. They fought to vote, they fought to get employed, they fought to get abuse and rape to stop being these things people ignored and all of that shit, except the getting employed has been a great idea.

I don't think a woman's place is in the home at all, I just don't understand how a whole gender could fuck up the chill deal of staying home and being in charge of a man's every fucking thing without having to work.

God what I wouldn't give to be a stay at home father that just goes out with his bros and tries to have a good time and raise my kids. Bad move, maybe it opens the door for men to totally stop working and stay home full time tho?

Send the kids to school, go get food for the house, play some games with the other house dads for a few hours, come home, clean up, make food for the fam, welcome the hard working wife home, eat and clear dinner then be good to her and the kids for a few hours?

Beats my day job. I don't have to waste the time with make up or shaving all over and a ton of other crazy crap women used to do... Maybe that's the future though, centuries from now the roles are reversed and dudes are getting nails and hair did.

I'll be long dead.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Although I’d like to think men could one day be stay-at-home dads, the whole point of introducing women into the workplace was to increase economic productivity. Warren Buffett said it himself — the workforce basically doubled, and that’s how we got ahead.

[–]Foolishoe2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wages haven't gone up for a long time because that doubled workforce also bloated the demand for jobs, this crushed the supply half of supply and demand.

There is no end to the supply of cheap labor thus, there is no ability for that supply to make any demands.

It fucked us the workers with the cocks of employers. Become a business owner and marvel at how many open mouths there are.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

A lot of feminists want a traditional relationship in their romantic life, but want to be treated as a man in their professional life. That's fine with me..

Lots of guys here don't get this.

[–]failingtheturingtest1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Well, let's be honest. A lot of guys here don't get a lot of things. That's why they're here.

Best we can do is share what we DO get.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed, it's just so obvious that guys speak in terms that strictly apply to the easiest sexual encounter they can muster, and not, say, how they'd want their daughters to be treated. Like, really, you bitch about feminism, but would you want your kid to not be treated like an equal in her office? It's just a lot of hamstering on the guys part here: whatever requires the least amount of effort for a hole.

[–]agjrpsl2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

All this except for tattoos and piercings. Everyone is getting tattoes these days and they look great. Piercings are sexy. We all got to realize that alot of men and women grew up in dysfunctional families. Nparents, abuse and neglect.

[–]Hamlet_Prime1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I saw once on trp, a girl who doesn’t respect her body and keep it clean is likely very promiscuous and hard to trust.

For me red flags go like this:


Drinking, smoking weed, or snorts coke regularly

Uses Dating apps frequently

Few female friends

Friends have bad hobbies or no hobbies

And then the typical ultra feminist crap

[–]WolfofAllStreetz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Had a FWB who was:

Bisexual Smoker Tattoos all over Hated her Dad Used hard drugs and weed Waitress no goals Car trashed Lives at home now used to have apartment Piercings Has abusive ex who beat her she went back to several times Liar Now 26 nearing the wall

Yet my dumbass still let her put my hooks in me. There was nothing off the table sexually with this girl. Freaky as shit. I still talk to her from time to time but the girl is BROKEN. I feel awful for who she marries. Poor dude.


[–]whuttupfoo2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Here's one I don't see anyone talking about, but any girl making more than $80k a year is a red flag. She will most likely prioritize her career over dating. She will most likely have issues with dating and bonding, multiple sex partners, and probably treats men with more disposability than the average girl. She will be unhappy most of the time. If she's making $150k+/year, good luck with that. Most of the girls I know making that kind of money are still single well into their 30's.

If she's got a mirror selfie on her instagram and her clothes are anywhere on the floor or in any kind of pile, RED flag. Likewise, if you go to her room and it's not tidy, red flag.

If her phone is cracked, red flag. If the screen looks like glass cobwebs, HUGE red flag.

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20021 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


Good luck having a baby with a career-minded woman.

Tip: Her career is her baby (thank me later).

Spot on with being house proud, too. Can't be with a slob. Us men are bad enough (though in some cases, you realise how tidy you are when with a slob).

[–]LiquidRevenant[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ir she breaths, red flag

[–]craneonacrane0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Doing "stuff" for the fuck of it, not because she is invested in it.

[–]Cods_gift_to_reddit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

An unwillingness to submit

[–]deathhandmachiavelli0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great list. I'm happy to say my LTR doesn't have any of those.

[–]Whiskey19920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

All women are insecure, however some more than others and its these ones that will become trouble down the road. They will suck your time up without a second thought and when you pull away they will become needy and paronoid.

[–]JedYorks0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Having a vagina.

[–]Protocol_Apollo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Look up red flags on the main sub- this question has been asked a lot recently and unfortunately every time it gets answered, some red flags go amiss, some principles about red flags also go amiss as well

[–]SICFJC0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Tattoos and piercings are not in and of themselves red flags.

I agree with the others. Also adult women that are obsessed with Disney. Good god.

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20020 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Had this happen to me (Re: Disney).

She was a VERY smart woman, but she genuinely thought she was like a princess.

Women like that have never experienced love or been in a relationship for long (from my experience).

[–]VengefullyY0urs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She lives alone...

[–]red_matrix0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lots of tattoos, blue/pink hair, obsessive social media presence/talks about her fans, etc, vapid, chronic money problems, parties hard (ie coke), has no girl friends but has lots of guy friends

[–]goathunter05-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

If tattoos and piercings are an issue why would you even approach in the first place? Red flags should be shit that they say and do that pushes boundaries and disrespects you

[–]ZZ771WMM-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

What do you mean by tattoos? And why is this a red flag?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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