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Thanks TRP. Held frame with someone and kept my dignity.

Reddit View
August 1, 2019
123 upvotes

I have been seeing my coworker for a little over a month. Lots of red flags but fuck it, not looking for LTR. All of a sudden two days ago she started ignoring me, like basically acting like I don't exist. I briefly misstepped and asked her what was up, but didn't look upset. I've been being myself and ignoring her back since then. She won't even look me in the eyes and looks past me when we pass each other in the hallway.

It's 100% on her end, and she's too chicken to say anything about it. I suspect her ex came back into her life or something which is honestly fine with me, but she's too much of a pussy to tell me why she is pulling childish bullshit games like ignoring a dude who was inside you a bunch the past few weeks.

Either way, thanks TRP. I kept my dignity and didn't cry to her about whatever bullshit game she's playing. My feelings of being disrespected by her have completely overwritten any feeling I might have had for her. I can see this getting easier in the future.

(PS she was a temporary hire and is leaving next week so no shit where you eat lectures, please)


Post Information
Title Thanks TRP. Held frame with someone and kept my dignity.
Author OHHHHHHHHHH_HES_HURT
Upvotes 123
Comments 32
Date 01 August 2019 10:47 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/247698
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ckvlrm/thanks_trp_held_frame_with_someone_and_kept_my/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
framelong term relationshipgamethe red pill
Comments

[–]1TyroneTheDriver83 points84 points  (6 children) | Copy

Good for you man.

She definitely has another man holding her attention and she felt guilty for her interaction with you.

It’s ok. Move on

[–]OHHHHHHHHHH_HES_HURT25 points26 points  (4 children) | Copy

100%. It's pretty clear what is happening - Too nervous to tell me the bad news most likely because of bad reactions from other guys in the past. I get it, but respect lost. Next!

[–]1TyroneTheDriver19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck her friends lol

[–]Carboneraser0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Why did you remove the post? There was nothing wrong with it. Everybody fucks their coworkers, it's not like you'd be identified or linked to the account. Was there a reason for removing it? I just feel the context for the replies is valuable to people trying to learn.

[–]OHHHHHHHHHH_HES_HURT0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It got removed? I didn't touch it

[–]2SirKolbath0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Probably because it wasn’t a question.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

[–]thebadguy8927 points28 points  (5 children) | Copy

I don't see how asking her what's up is a misstep? Overall good job and honestly the don't shit where you eat is great advice for like 95% of situations, but I think there are plenty of situations that don't apply.

[–]javascript_dev22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed, how is it a weak frame to ask someone why they're being wierd? If anything mirroring their wierd behavior is a reaction to their frame.

I'd walk straight up to her:

"Something going on in your life? You've been acting kinda strange lately"

Bet the first word out of her mouth is "Sorry, I've..."

[–]TheStumblingWolf6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think it depends on the frame. If you act like she's committed a great injustice to you, it shows that she has the power to influence your well being. On the other hand - if you just ask her like an anthropologist pondering the behavior of this weird creature in front of you I would say it's fine.

[–]InsidiousCurve-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're not losing frame by asking what's going on, though you already know the answer. You lose frame freaking out when she tells you that she's with someone else.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not, as long as you don't try to fix her feelings. If she wants to play games, and play the "It's nothing, it's fine" you have a couple of choices. In more serious relationships it ok to say "What's up?"

It then becomes boundary management. If it's an LTR are you going to deal with this shit every time it comes up? I had this fight early in my relationship with my wife. I told her to put her big girl pants on and knock it the fuck off. If she's feeling somethings wrong how can I acknowledge it if she won't vocalize it?

It all comes down to the level of relationship. Do plates warrant this? No, let them spin, let them fall. Do LTR's? Depends on your style.

[–]LifeTopic13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Had this happen to me. I dumped her before she dumped me, hypergamy want a bit haywire. She then claimed she ignored me because she wanted to see if I'd chase and care for her, and tried getting back together with me. The truth is she most likely saw another man and got attracted, but my actions put her in doubt. As I ghosted her.

Truthfully women who do this are scummy af, it always puts a seed of doubt in your head Did I really just screw up my chances?

[–]InsidiousCurve1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Funny, since if you chase then she will lose respect for you anyway. She just wants to have power and control over you since she's psycho and is attacking you're ego(frame).

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

BPD flag, ruuuun

[–]OHHHHHHHHHH_HES_HURT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. Dated one for 1.5 yrs in my youth and it feels similar

[–]3chazthundergut1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're right on with your thinking. Good job

[–]Flesh_Pillow51 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Perfect execution. Similar thing happened to me. After initial attempt at contact was not reciprocated I ignored her during the entire time we worked together. She'd come close to my personal space pretending to talk to others but I never bothered after that. No matter what. It feels good to not give your attention for free. To an extent I feel there's an energy or spiritual exchange. When you hold your attention as a precious commodity not to be given away for free. You increase in self worth and self esteem. I'd say keep your attention guarded. You executed this perfectly. Like the spawn of Tom leykis would

[–]mysteryfist1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Right on OP! Im almost right in the same boat. Girl ive been seeing for awhile, really liked this one. Then shes kind of just cut me off even though weve been fucking like rabbits for months. Dont know what or why, but trp helps just say "fuck it". Feels good.

[–]millioneuroextreme1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good job.

But please don’t shit where you eat.

[–]Snowaey3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

What about "don't shit where you eat"? Hello?

[–]Warren_Bateman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nice to hear man, keep it up!

[–]goathunter050 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Aye bro, good shit. Keep killing it

[–]ZR19870 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good job! When she comes back (and she likely will), you will probably get the "swallow your pride" line. Remember that this translates into "take any disrespect I give you like a little bitch." Your pride/dignity is vitally important, and contrary to what that line implies, women do NOT want a man with no pride.

[–]Redditgoodaccount0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Celebrate your success, this is a little one but the tragically most part of men would have fallen.

Celebrate with a brand new fuck

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

When you internally don't care about such crap, you've won. Stress-free life + situtations like that a less likely to happen.

[–]omega_dawg93-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

oneitis?

if she's not an LTR, you shouldn't have time to type this shit bc you're spinning MULTIPLE plates.

this is your mindset, right? why are you giving any fucks about her behavior?

for women like this, hold frame and let her stew in her own emotions... so you did good. but after that, ignore the broad... you've received her ace card (pussy) and she was likely expecting you to turn into a beta bitch boy bc you got to experience her mystical, magical, special vagina.

but since you didn't, she's probably confused... trying to recalibrate her emotions to figure out why you're different.

[–]OHHHHHHHHHH_HES_HURT2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I told you, I'm not a pro at this yet. You don't go from 0 to perfect. Progress.

[–]omega_dawg930 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

no one makes it to perfect. we all slip up and back into beta behavior temporarily... we're human.

the thing is to notice and correct the behavior asap.

but regardless of where you are, you should have an abundance mindset... too worried about other pussy to be so focused on one girl.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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