I fucked up last night had a fight with the wife.

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August 12, 2019

Usually when we’re anywhere that there is alcohol the wife drinks and I drive. Yesterday I drank and the wife drove. Basically we fought (with kids in the back) because I was concerned with her shitty driving. As she got angrier with me I got angrier with her (no A&A, no fogging, no AM, just straight up sparring with one another). When she hauled off and smacked me (didn’t hurt but offended the shit out of me) I said stop the car and got out. Dark road, pretty much middle of nowhere she calls my cell and says the kids are scared get back in the car. I say not if she gonna keep being a cunt, I’ll just take an Uber. She says you’re on speakerphone we’ll talk about it later, get back in the car. I get back in the car. We make it 100ft and we’re screaming at each other. I’m screaming like the flaming faggot moron that I am. She says “you’re right, take an Uber” and she pulls over. I get out and slam the door. Call an Uber. Get home wife is trying to put kids to bed but they won’t sleep because they’re worried about me because I got out of the car in the middle of nowhere like a fucking retard. They’re happy to see me, wife goes to bed in one kids room the other sleeps with me in master bedroom. Not like wife and I wanted to sleep together anyway.

So - long story short, I know I fucked up, dropped frame, acted like a BP fag and screamed at my wife in front of my kids. Question is, now that I got up and went to work while everyone was still asleep, how do I handle this going forward? Reset and act like nothing happened? Demand an apology for wife hitting me?

39, wife 39, 2 kids. RP since Feb 2019. 5’9”, 235. Bf about 35%. Lifts bench 175x10, DL 215x7, squat 140x10, OHP 100x10, Row 115x10.

Read: MMSLP, WISNIFG, Pook, NMMNG, Rational Male year 1, MAP.

Edit/Update: Thank you to everyone who commented, no doubt I needed tough love. Despite knowing better, I texted my wife an apology. Basically said I didn’t like the way I acted and I will stop drinking. I also said neither her or our kids will never see that side of me again. Her response was “okay thanks, we’ll discuss later sorry I hit you”. I said “Forgiven, no need to discuss further unless you need to”. We’ll see what happens when I get home.

I don’t care if it was the wrong move, I realized what a shit bag I was and I had to apologize. I will also apologize to my kids tonight in person. I will stop drinking, as I mentioned to a commenter below this is not my first Wake Up Call about drinking, not by far...I have to take responsibility for this or nothing else I work on in MRP will mean a goddamn thing. I thought I was making progress, but this set me back. I will not fucking quit. I won’t look at this like I failed. Worst case scenario I’m back at Day 1 of RP having already read many of the books and having started lifting 6 months ago. Maybe I can skip the Rambo phase this time and without alcohol I can actually make progress.

Cannot thank you assholes enough for slapping the shit out of me this morning. Best day of my life.

Post Information
Title I fucked up last night had a fight with the wife.
Author savageinthebox
Upvotes 19
Comments 89
Date 12 August 2019 12:41 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/247779
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/cpbunq/i_fucked_up_last_night_had_a_fight_with_the_wife/
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Red Pill terms found in post:

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (6 children) | Copy

Texting is for logistics. I say again texting is for logistics. Text an apology again and I'll ban you.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (1 child) | Copy

I would be more than willing to bet you didn't "drop" frame, you simply have a weak paper bag for a frame that is easily broken.

If you fuck with a dog and it bites you would you ask it for an apology? I bet you would just kick the dog some more and yell at it because you are a big strong man who intimidates with his loud voice and fat gut.

I know how you are feeling, I have been in this spot before. I bet you are a little hung over and feeling very depressed. You feel weak and self conscious about your decisions from last night. You want to be angry with your wife but you should be angry with yourself. What kind of a man behaves like that in front of his subordinates? What kind of a man gets hit by his wife in front of his children?

You should be ashamed of yourself, but the apology isn't important (from you or her). What is important is that you stop being a faggot before you ruin your family. What are YOU going to do to prevent this from ever happening again? Concrete real actionable steps are required. What is your plan?

Acta non verba. You have a long way to go =====>

[–]savageinthebox[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well as everyone else in the World seems to be able to see except for me, I guess step one I need to stop drinking. Thanks.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret18 points19 points  (8 children) | Copy

The hardest part is keeping your mouth shut

Sober from alcohol 5 years now for this very reason. Booze just makes men fat and stupid.

Choose better drugs. Be proactive.

Reset, try again.

You set yourself back a bit. It's not a failure, its only feedback. The feedback is, you cant handle booze.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Choose better drugs.

This should be a solo post. LOL

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

You are just an amazon and rian shill

(DM me so I can get in on this too, I like $)

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Hahaha. I have a genuine desire for rians YouTube channel to be successful, so I shill for him.

Fuck Amazon.

[–]RStonePT2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I wish it made enough money to hire full time shills

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You can pay me in hugs princess.


[–]RStonePT3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've heard hugging you is the equivalent of a tren patch

[–]savageinthebox[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy


[–]seedster55 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're probably q white middle aged American guy so I'm going to let you in a secret that red pilled middle westerners have known for centuries. Alcohol is bad.

[–]longbowsandchurches39 points40 points  (1 child) | Copy

Grow up and communicate with the mother of your children like a respectful adult

[–]savageinthebox[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks, I needed that.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Best advise I've got is to start saving for your kid's therapy sessions.

[–]lololasaurus12 points13 points  (10 children) | Copy

Good grief. You have no business drinking or arguing with your wife right now. Disgraceful.

Lift. STFU. Sidebar.

Stop drinking. You have a problem.

[–]savageinthebox[S] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

Thank you for calling me disgraceful. I don’t know what I expected to hear but I needed to hear that. I will stop drinking.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy

Are you really?

[–]savageinthebox[S] 9 points10 points  (7 children) | Copy

Am I really disgraceful? Yes. Am I really going to stop drinking? Yes. Am I in danger of becoming known as The Sunday Retard? Yes.

This is not the first “I need to stop drinking” wake up call. This is my 2nd Rock Bottom moment this summer. I just never told anyone about the first so I was able to pretend it didn’t happen. Now I’ve just basically had a mirror held up to me by all you Chads and I am utterly disgusted and disgraced. My next OYS will be tomorrow and will include “24 hours sober” or some bullshit. Yes I will stop drinking.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy

Acta non verba, lets see it. I am currently kicking around the idea myself. I plan to do a 10 day juice fast at the end of the month and I want to see how I feel after. If I am significantly different after, I might continue with the trend.

/u/Rpeed suggested this book and said it helped him quit. https://www.amazon.com/This-Naked-Mind-Discover-Happiness/dp/0996715002

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Quit drinking a couple years ago. Don't miss it. Don't miss shitty sleep, hangovers, anxiety, the weight I lost by cutting the pointless calories. Do love the money I've saved, the focus I've gained.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I sleep great, never get hangovers and trying to gain weight.

However, the money being saved would be pretty awesome and its one of the big motivators to quit.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh, and the time you get back from not just fucking around being drunk, don't forget that.

[–]Iammrp22 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I decided to be a teetotaler. Not even with the guys. Alcohol has taken a lot more than it's given so I broke it off. Not worth it.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Being a couple years down the road I can see that now, too.

[–]savageinthebox[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks. I will take a look.

[–]itiswr1ttenRed Beret12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

So you got drunk, started a fight with your wife for no reason, escalated to screaming like a trailer park teenager, then wasted money tripling down on your mistake. Once sober, you ran away from the problem and want to outsource your ownership of this colossal fuck up to internet strangers. One of your decisions is to try to make HER apologize.


[–]savageinthebox[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everything you said is true except that I ran away from the problem this morning. I’m not even that smart. I was hoping the wife woke up before I left so I could tell her how unacceptable her actions were and start round 3. I didn’t realize what a faggot I was, thank God I made this post so you guys could slap me back to reality.

[–]Rifleshoot5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m less concerned about your wife and more about your kids. What were you thinking hashing it out with your wife in front of them like that? Your kids look to you as an example of how to behave. You just gave them a hell of a pattern to follow....

[–]mrpthrowa8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

In front of the kids. Scum.

[–]Smuggler-Tuek3 points4 points  (19 children) | Copy

Idk man, probably should have just laughed it off when she slapped you. Engaging her is always going to be a lose lose scenario. Also, as someone who has dealt with a lot of pent up aggression and anger, until you deal with some of it I would be careful drinking too much. That’s when I have had my breakdowns before. Now that I’ve worked through more it’s not really an issue, but for awhile I had to quit altogether.

[–]savageinthebox[S] 0 points1 point  (18 children) | Copy

Yes, I need to stop drinking. Immediately. I stopped. Thank you.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret5 points6 points  (9 children) | Copy

Do you really want to stop though? I mean, really really? Because if you don't change your relationship to alcohol you'll just relapse.

You should start with why you drink in the first place. Not, "oh because it's fun." Why is it fun? Imagine you are about to start drinking right now: how do you feel? What do you envision the next few hours would look like if you started right now and really tied one on? These are questions for you to ponder. Hint: if drinking is a crutch for other issues, then it's time to put on the big boy pants and deal with the other issues directly. You're a grown man, FFS -- act like one.

[–]savageinthebox[S] -1 points0 points  (8 children) | Copy

Yes I really want to stop. The other issues are that I’m weak and unsure of myself, deep down. So far RP hasn’t fixed that (like I thought it did) but only helped me to push that feeling further down. I lifted to hide my weakness. I held frame to hide my weakness. I need to lift until I am not weak and I need to internalize my frame more. And don’t know if I can do this but goddamn it I am not going to stop trying.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy

Really want to stop, and or want to keep doing it but not reap the consequences? Answer that for yourself, honestly.

You feel "weak"? Physically or mentally?

[–]savageinthebox[S] 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

I want to keep doing it and not reap the consequences but that’s not possible. My only choices are to stop or keep reaping the consequences and faced with that reality I want to stop. Is that not enough? This is uncharted territory for me, I have friends in AA and I might join them, although I feel like I have it in me to stop on my own.

I feel weak physically and mentally.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Now we're getting somewhere. Keep asking yourself "but why?" for every additional answer until you get to the ugly truth. You want to keep drinking and avoid the consequences? But why?

[–]savageinthebox[S] 5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

I know the ugly truth. I was a weak BP fag who couldn’t get over childhood dorkiness/bullying unless I was drinking. I married the wrong person and made the mistake of getting her pregnant twice and now I feel trapped in a bad marriage and while we’re at it unfulfilled potential professionally and personally. It’s why I’m here working my MAP. I knew I was pretending in the beginning, I thought I was taking it seriously since June. Today I am setback almost to square one.

[–]ellifino1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Sometimes there is a real concept of “marrying the wrong person”. You vetted poorly and that sucks. Now take a moment to visualize your perfect marriage to the perfect person. Then imagine that perfect person slowly starting to act more and more like your wrong wife. She’s a bitch, she hits you, etc.

Chances are, any “perfect marriage” will turn into this for you because you suck at leading and she has no respect for you. This period of trial is your punishment for sucking as a husband. Learn how to do it right, and give your wife a chance to respond to a real husband and leader.

It’s said over and over that women take the shape of their container, and her container is a shitty husband. Fix that, stop fucking up, and see if eventually your wife improves. If she doesn’t, you’re the man you’ve always wanted to be, and someone else sure as hell will appreciate you. Don’t do it for her though, do it for you.

[–]savageinthebox[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I get this concept intellectually and agree my shitty marriage is my fault not hers, but we’re talking about deep seeded resentment and regret and insecurity and guilt bubbling out in the form of drinking, and it’s still that BP frame of “marrying the wrong woman” that is part of that. The reason I’m not divorced right now is because I figured out through MRP that she married the wrong man, not the other way around. But that shit still bubbles up from time to time. Because I’m still a faggot.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

It probably feels like I'm badgering you, because I am. You do roll over well though, so let's move on. What you're saying is that you have self-esteem issues. That shit is root and will spill onto everything else.

If you want to feel worthy, act worthy. Do worthy. Think Forrest Gump here: worthy is as worthy does. Set a standard for yourself and meet it. Not the standard that everyone else has that you think you want to live up to, but one that you actually believe in. Then, start doing it. Start small and build. As you start to actually live your own standard, you'll feel better about yourself; cognitive dissonance will fade. Then you'll be able to sort out bigger ticket items.

Some might tell you to just take the "L" and get the divorce; that may still be the answer, but not right now. Dry up, do some soul-searching, and STFU for a while. If the wife tries to pick a fight with you, simply say something along the lines of "I'm not going to fight with you. I regret my behavior last night and I have some things I need to think about." STFU for now.

When you think you have a direction for your life, get back on OYS and get to work. Good luck.

[–]seedster51 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

Ok let's explore this a bit more. Things are going well and your buddies invite you to the bar. What will you do? You feel the need to drink, what will you do? I'm not trying to give you a hard time. This is a real question that you will face.

[–]savageinthebox[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Honestly, the last time I had a wake up call was in June, for a month I used the excuse (which is 100% true) that I wasn’t drinking because it made my gout flare up. I will go back to this response. In a month or 2 I’ll say I stopped drinking for gout but now I’m doing it for other benefits too. I had this all planned out in June, but like I said elsewhere I didn’t tell anyone about my last wake up call, no one held me accountable, I didn’t hold myself accountable and eventually I pretended it didn’t happen and went back to drinking. This time i posted about my wake up call, got called out, and will never forget the way I’m feeling right now.

[–]SuperCrazy073 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

My brother drove drunk, crashed his car, got arrested, etc. he hasn’t had a drink in years.

When we go out to a bar and someone suggests he get a beer, he just says “I don’t drink.” Not that he has gout or looking for benefits or an explanation of why.

You don’t have to DEER to drunk people.

[–]seedster51 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

You can keep posting here to hold yourself accountable. I understand that life is hard. We're here to help so you don't have to go through it alone.

[–]savageinthebox[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Thanks dude. I needed the tough love and the comfort, fuck I’m like a little beta wife. Damn it.

[–]seedster51 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

My reply to you is " GOOD" Watch the video. https://youtu.be/IdTMDpizis8

[–]savageinthebox[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Watched it. Thanks. Taking a deep breath and getting back to work. Been thinking about this bullshit instead of doing my job most of the morning.

[–]coinbaserep0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Or you can stop lying and tell people

“I don’t drink anymore. I don’t like who I become under the influence”

Why make up lies own give life and your decisions

If it means going out with the guys and drinking a club soda and lime then do that

I went out Friday and drank way to much way to fast and left the bar at 1am and a buddy drove me home and had to pull over so I could get out and vomit all over my shoes

Wtf poor decisions I made, I had single vodka and then a double vodka then told the bar tender to go back to singles but she didn’t hear me. I ended up drinking 3 more doubles before I realized how out of it I was. That was all in a span of 2 hours. By that time it was too late.

Nights like that make me evaluate my life decisions and I ask my self why I felt the need to drink so much.

Own your decisions and course correct

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yesterday I drank

I'm not going to say never drink as a hard fast rule for everyone, but for YOU I highly recommend cutting out drinking.

Hey - so you fucked up. Now analyze why. I certainly hope you're posting in OYS.

As she got angrier with me I got angrier with her

Why does this happen to you? Anger comes from three areas - fear, hurt, or frustration. What was it here?

When she hauled off and smacked me (didn’t hurt but offended the shit out of me)

I've been slapped twice that I can remember from my wife - they were both in the last 6 months. The first time was because she was mad so I told her I was going to fuck her later. That slap I laughed off. It was pretty funny. And I DID fuck her later that day so... actions over words.

The second time I got pissed and reacted. This was bad - and she still brings this up if she gets bitchy. So lesson learned - if it's a slap (versus REAL physical violence) laugh it off in my opinion.

Dark road, pretty much middle of nowhere she calls my cell and says the kids are scared get back in the car. I say not if she gonna keep being a cunt, I’ll just take an Uber.

Oh my... that's a pretty severe reaction. You have to remember you can't control your wife through threats and anger. That's just going to make her entrench.

Not like wife and I wanted to sleep together anyway.

This is actually a key problem for you. Here's the deal with me - no matter what my wife does, what arguments we have (when I regress to become a faggot), I always will want to sleep next to my wife. 90% of the time the problem was caused by me anyhow. The other 10% - I still caused the problem by reacting negatively when she's being insane. She's a woman, she's emotional. When you start seeing this it's like seeing the code in the matrix. You can see those green lines of text spilling down in front of your eyes.

how do I handle this going forward? Reset and act like nothing happened? Demand an apology for wife hitting me?

STFU and if it comes up from her, thank your wife for actually trying to take care of you in your drunken state and then apologize for acting like a faggot.

RP since Feb 2019. 5’9”, 235. Bf about 35%. Lifts bench 175x10, DL 215x7, squat 140x10, OHP 100x10, Row 115x10.

Read: MMSLP, WISNIFG, Pook, NMMNG, Rational Male year 1, MAP.

Read more, Feb was 6 months ago, you should be a lot further along in your readings. You need to stop drinking for your BF alone.

[–]QEPIB0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Disagree about the reading. He needs to start over again and focus on actually understanding what he reads. It's clear that he hasn't applied what he's read so far.

[–]tom-anonymous3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

I had a similar situation on Saturday after drinking. However it wasn't in front of the kids. Despite how far we've come, I still allow certain situations trigger emotions in me.

The "paper bag" frame that someone else said is right on. That's what you and I have right now. We're all big and bad and won't be pushed around. So we yell and scream whenever we feel the slightest friction.

In my case I took 30 minutes to cool off. She came down to the basement and something really weird happened. I told myself I was going to just reset everything in that very moment. I went over to the couch she was sitting on and told her in a half joking way that she was a pain in the ass, and that she needed to submit to me now as I was laying on top of her. She tried to put up a fight in a teasing way (she was giggling as I was trying to hold her down and kiss her), and when I pulled her arms up and kissed her it was as if she couldn't resist.

That was my a-ha moment. I learned on Saturday that even after fucking up majorly, I can instantly reset the situation and bring her into my reset frame almost immediately. She wants to please me and be happy and be submissive. So much power if we know how to use it.

I ended up pulling her pants down and having the hottest sex we had in a long time.

I'm still a weak faggot for letting that even happen, but I'm getting better everyday. You need to think this way too.

[–]savageinthebox[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I thought I was passed all this. I was a deeper BP fag than I thought. I am going to start over and go back to the basics and hit the sidebar. And as I said before I will stop drinking. Thank you for your comments.

[–]tom-anonymous0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Trust me I get it. It's tough to change years of bad habits. The difference now is you're aware and acknowledge them. I'm also cutting my drinking, but because I want to get my BF% down to 12% (it's at 15% now). I'm drinking Michelob Ultras whenever I do drink lol. Good luck. BTW don't apologize or make her apologize. What seems to work for me is when I say I don't like the way I acted the other night, and then leave it at that. I'm not sure if that's a faggot thing to say, but for me it helps reset things and we're both back on track.

[–]UnbreakableFrame3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

"Hey Doc, so I just drank 12oz of bleach, what should I do?"

First of all, you need to get it through your head that this kind of shit can literally never happen again. This is not a "so I did X, how do we get back to Y?" scenario. You basically acted like an enormous, drunk toddler. Worse yet, you did it in front of your children. A truly self-respecting woman would divorce a man for acting like that.

Your role in both your marriage and as a father is that of a suspension bridge cable. A bridge cable can't stop being what it is for even a second. If it does, the entire bridge collapses. And if a bridge collapses even once, there are commuters who will never trust it with their lives again, no matter what repair is done.

I've said it once, but I'll say it again. Stop drinking. For the love of fuck, if you are a beta male while sober, how do expect to be alpha while drunk?

Honestly man, you need to assess whether you even want to be here or not. This is not a boys club where you just come and vomit when you do dumb shit, get smacked on the ass, and get told to go back out there and "go get 'em tiger". What's your MAP?

[–]savageinthebox[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Of course I want to be here. I didn’t start this because I had everything under control, I started this because I was a fuck up. And last night I did what all fuck ups do, I fucked up. Thank God I have you assholes to set me straight because I woke up thinking this mess was my wife’s fault. Fuck yeah I want to be here. I’d rather be the biggest retard here than King of the BP idiots. My MAP was to lift and eat Keto until I could see Abs, make as much money as possible and steer my ship. I just threw that one out. Right now my MAP is to quit drinking and keep lifting. I’m too retarded right now for anything else.

[–]UnbreakableFrame2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Quitting drinking should be concidered the most basic tenet of MRP. I know that I tore you a new one, but that's what we're here for. Tough love and the rawest truth to set us straight. Lifting and not drinking is a great starting point. Try out some STFU while you are at it, it works wonders.

[–]Iammrp22 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

35% body fat. Stop eating. Seriously. And STFU.

Put this on your mouth. It will solve both problems.


[–]FoxShitNasty831 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I didn't realise uber did dumptrucks

[–]2ndalRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Everyone's covered everything, but just want to chime in and say you need to lose weight and gain strength. You are fat and weak, both mentally and physically. Most dudes here will out lift you across all movements while weighing 20-30% less.

[–]savageinthebox[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m working on it, thank you.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You own your shit. You apologize to your wife in front of your kids and to them as well. There is no justification, no way to spin this positively, and it’s a shitty example for your children.

Once you own it, then you drop it and never bring it up again. One apology is enough provided you learn how to be an adult from this.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

As someone who has had CPS called on them for no reason.

because I was concerned with her shitty driving

Fuck you and your wife for endangering your kids. I fucking hate your faggot ass guts faggot.

[–]savageinthebox[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

My kids were never in any danger, wife was sober (had 0 drinks) I was telling her how to back out of a driveway properly when the argument began. And she pulled over onto grass on a deserted road to let me out. In fact me taking an Uber so she could drive without me distracting her was the safest solution. You can still hate me for being a faggot though.

[–]tspitsatgp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do you often tell people - your wife, children, colleagues - how to do things properly?

If so STFU.

Instead, let people come to you and ask for advice because you have demonstrated skill in an area.

You might be waiting a while, but OYS for long enough and it might happen.

[–]pinkiepie_notabrony1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Whooooa why is everyone not pointing out how not okay it is for the wife to hit him? Can someone explain to me how that's not a problem. That's literally physical abuse!

[–]savageinthebox[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

A few have commented. She smacked me in my chest, not my face, if that means anything. It didn’t hurt but it was done out of anger and it was a big deal to me. I updated the post that I apologized to the wife and she immediately apologized for hitting me. Moving on.

[–]pinkiepie_notabrony0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I hope you understand that regardless of an apology, physical abuse is physical. Even if you got angry at her, you never laid a hand on her... The fact that she didn't respect you enough to treat you like that... I hope you know that you deserve better. I wish you peace and hope that you find yourself in a relationship with mutual respect and communication, whether with this same woman or with another.

[–]helaughsinhidden1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy


Immediate triage.

Enough people have kicked you in the balls about getting drunk and you are making a "vow" of sorts to us to quit. Don't fuck up and make this promise to HER now or BLAME your faggotry on being drunk. The drunkenness just exposed what was already there. Making the promise to quit will place her frame over yours, so own up to being a faggot without using the ALCOHOL AS AN EXCUSE.

I am not one who is against apologies, but do not use the words "YOU" "BUT" "BECAUSE OF" or bring up any excuse, explanation, rationalization, give stories, say it in a defensive tone, or seek anything to pass the buck. Those things are all evidence of a weak frame who doesn't own his actions and is very easily manipulated by things outside his own head. Then, after you've said what you've done wrong and ask for the forgiveness.

"Listen, I have something to say, I was quite disrespectful last night and that behavior isn't acceptable, I hope you can forgive me".

Remember, this isn't the time to make promises like putting a "cherry on top" of a shit sandwich, so don't say "I'll never" or "I am going to" to anything. Just an acknowledgement of transgression and desire to be restored, then STFU. Don't even expect an answer. Then get to work on your actions on your own.

Oh, she doesn't owe you an apology either. If you get one in return, take it as a bonus because you are the only adult in the household. Your feelings, mood, emotions, frame, happiness, etc is not formed from someone's external opinion. You are the man and you should be the tree in the wind, the eye in the storm. She doesn't make you who you are and talk is cheap anyway.

As a christian, I have to concede that alcohol is in the bible in many places, but warning to avoid getting drunk is too. It's hard to get drunk off of 5% beer. If having a mixed drink or wine, I find it easy to count to 3 in a night, but 4 quickly turns into 6 or 8. Even 6 to 8 beers in 4 hours on an empty stomach will get me buzzing.

[–]savageinthebox[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the advice. I might have already fucked up some of your advice, I texted the wife an apology before I read your comment and I told her I would quit drinking. I didn’t necessarily blame the drinking but I guess it was inferred. I am going to take action and I am going to do it for myself. I did try to put a cherry on the shit sandwich tho I guess. Still learning.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I didn't look at your post history. Yet you clearly haven't been doing this a year.

First. Stop drinking. I stopped getting drunk at 22. I stopped having any alcohol 3 years ago. It is an obstacle. People use it as a crutch or some inflated sense of having fun.

It leads to shit like this these days.

Your wife hit you. I don't care if it was nothing to you. If you'd done the same you'd be in jail. Consider that your wife's reaction was to hit you.

Yes you were a little bitch for starting an argument. There is almost no way in this you can recover and resetting is your only option. You're not attractive enough to demand shit. My guess is she'll want to talk about it.

She'll want to talk about how you shouldn't have bitched to her. Probably true but I don't know how you come back from your wife having such little control she decided that hitting you was the only option.

Me? There would be no apology. She'd be out the door until she got her shit fixed.

Meanwhile get your fucking faggot ass to work. You fucked the pooch buddy. Big time. This is Omega level behavior here.

[–]seedster50 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not gonna bother reading after the first paragraph. I hope you know that you're the problem. Like big ol glaring problem.

STFU. Fix yourself. I swear to go if I see a post of you saying "I just had a discussion with the wife" I will pay someone 100 dollars to kick you semi hard in the nuts. STFU. Fix yourself. read how to be a man. I don't want you to say a word to anyone about it. From this point it it better be all action. If you utter the words "I'm going to" I want you to slap yourself really really hard. ALL action no words. Now you may proceed.

[–]DeplorableRay0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Women don’t slap guys under 20% bf. I know this sounds like a stretch, but you’re not attractive. Women love assholes that call them out on bad behavior, but you aren’t anywhere close to earning that right yet.

[–]Captain_pants40 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Jesus, I had to stop reading almost immediately. Your poor kids

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

“there is alcohol”

Stopped reading.

Huge difference in mindset when you’re running towards something versus running away from something.

[–]red88lobster0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't blame alcohol for your shit behavior.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Demand an apology for wife hitting me?

Good luck with that.

we fought (with kids in the back) because I was concerned with her shitty driving

What? You got drunk so you couldn't drive and then you criticize your woman's driving like a...woman. Damn good thing there is no transgender component to this story or I would have lost my place already. Anyway, criticizing the designated driver is just not done Brah.

Some guys become mean drunks. Sounds like you are a simp drunk. I would get that under control. Not the drinking, the simpiness.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Where are you in the sidebar and lifting? That’s what you need to focus on. If you feel like you have a drinking problem, quit. If you can’t do it on your own, get help. Start doing OYS weekly posts and STFU. Get to work

[–]markpf730 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The funniest shit I’ve seen.

You started by taking an Uber in your own frame. Your wife wouldn’t let you. Then she kicked you out of the car and you took an Uber in her frame because she told you too.


After looking back reflecting, learning and improving...sometimes all that is left is to laugh at your own horseshit.

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

  1. If you want to drink while she drives, either trust her driving or have another option to get home. Can't have cake and drink it too

  2. once you got out of the car, don't answer your phone. She wanted to establish you were an asshoe and this was all your fault and you obliged.

  3. Can't say much more without some idea of what you people are like IRL


[–]savageinthebox[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

We are normal IRL, not the trailer park trash I presented us as in this post.

[–]RStonePT1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Now why would you think to add that bit of reputation management?

dude, she cuffed you in front of your kids when you were wasted in the car. You don't have to be at a monster truck rally to recognize that dance. Idiots who love to take their status insecurity statements out make me laugh.

It's all pedantics, we are all the same meat bags as Jethro.

You need to stop relying on your wife to get your back. She's not on your team. every bad decision you made there stemmed from that. Her reactions were bad, but thats because chicks don't know how to manage all this

[–]savageinthebox[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Reputation management is exactly what that was. I’m feeling a bit ashamed and naked at the moment. It probably boils down to the fact that I still don’t have Frame, but I respect this community and I do give a shit what they think of me, even if I’m just a made up name to them. I’m a weak fucking savage at the moment. In a better place than yesterday, but still weak. Looking forward to hitting the weights tonight and then posting in the OYS thread. I have a lot to reflect on.

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

but I respect this community and I do give a shit what they think of me, even if I’m just a made up name to them

we are anonymous nerds on the internet. What we think means even less than what you're wife and her friends think.

And save the sinner-absolution speech, that need for validation extends to both ends of the spectrum, no one here is your priest either.

[–]FoxShitNasty830 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hahaha what the fuck happened to STFU! Nob!

Reset every day, don't pick fights am, aa,stfu. Be a high value man

[–]Redpillbrigade170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ugh. Done something similar many years ago... sucks being a drunk captain and for her to be in charge. Congrats ... that’s pure beta right there. She’s the mature adult, leader of the flock, taking care of the pack, driving, staying sane. You’re the little whiny boy.

Massive changes needed. I wouldn’t even worry about tactics and what to do / say now. Your problems are very deep and it will take lots of time and work to change.

[–]umizumiz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


I know saying "sorry" is a big no-no, but damnit if I wouldn't have to at least own up to my shit in this situation. I wouldn't care about what she has to say, but I would probably give her a hug and a quick something about "I got a little drunk and out of hand last night" and then go on about my business like nothing happened.

I DEFINITELY wouldn't entertain a discussion about this, but I can't see how I would retain my personal sense of pride and accountability if I acted like this shit was normal.

Maybe I'm a softie, I dunno.

And your wife hit you, bro. Not. Fucking. Cool. Seems so faggoty to say, but if her violence is not nipped in the bud she WILL beat the fuck out of you one day.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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