The Correct Way to Ask a Girl Out

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August 15, 2019

When asking a girl on a date--either via text, call, or in person--always pose it as a statement, not a question.


"I'm gonna go see a show at the jazz club Wednesday night at 7. You should1 join me."

Simple, straightforward, unassuming. It lays out the time and place in one sentence. You aren’t asking her if she’s free or where she wants to go or what she wants to do. Posing it as a question just gives her an opportunity to decline. Remove that opportunity. YOU are going to do something awesome that night regardless if she’s available or not, but it sure would be cool if she joined. Girls hate having to plan stuff, especially dates. It's too stressful and onerous for them. Take the initiative; be the man. She's less likely to decline or flake if you have things already planned out.

Keep your life interesting and she'll follow.

1 Side note: Using the word "should" in this case is so simple yet so powerful. It makes her feel like she would be missing out on a golden opportunity to do something fun with you. It's almost like you are incepting the thought into her mind. You "should" use this word it as often as you can.

Post Information
Title The Correct Way to Ask a Girl Out
Author darchetype
Upvotes 829
Comments 169
Date 15 August 2019 08:16 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
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[–]spider_1337192 points193 points  (93 children) | Copy

How would you respond to a wishy washy response such as "maybe"?

Edit: The feedback i got is much appreciated. FYI there is no girl in question currently doing this to me atm. I just asked for curiosities sake but the responses are real good thank you all.

[–]AllTay314 points315 points  (33 children) | Copy

The message is in the medium there. She’s not that interested if she hits you with a “maybe” with no offer to reschedule or an alternate plan.

[–]Bhiggsb84 points85 points  (16 children) | Copy

This makes so much sense. I Lways knew this but still had doubts. Thanks.

[–]B_ILL175 points176 points  (12 children) | Copy

"maybe" in girl speak is "if nothing else better comes up then maybe"

[–]caoboi02587 points88 points  (8 children) | Copy

A "maybe" means she doesn't want to reject you directly and at the same time if she's bored she might consider.

So I'd take that as a "No"

[–]xsealand215 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Should I ask her again before going or just ignore

[–]WalterEArmstrong62 points63 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ignore, she'll have to make the next move.

[–]Psyyko-2 points-1 points  (5 children) | Copy

A "maybe" can mean 10 different things depending on the girl. The absolute biggest mistake TRP makes is to rely so much on the "one rule fits all" mentality. It doesn't.

[–]McVaghunter11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy

"FUCK YES! or No" by Mark Manson.

I did not work this hard on improving my SMV to end up with "maybes". If I ask a girl out and she replay with a maybe I just delete her phone number and move on to a solid "YES".

[–]Psyyko2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

That's up to you. It's your life, do what works best for you. I go for a more strategic approach. Less emotional, less attached to ideologies. I simply stick to what i want as long as i think it's worth my time. If i really wanna bang a girl, i have no problem going for second and third rounds. Around 60% of my plates came from multiple attempts. Plus, there isn't that many girls where i live. It's a 60k population city. If i just discard everyone who rejects me at first and always go for a new girl i will go through every girl i can have access to in 2 or 3 years. Not a smart move.

Let me just tell you something: i've met a girl on instagram that is a solid 10. And i mean the type of 10 that makes Angelina Jolie look average. She is THAT GOOD LOOKING. Insanely gorgeous. Doesn't even seem real. I've honestly never met one single woman that comes even close to this chick. The best looking chick you can think of is like 2 steps below her. She looks like a drawing. She is also a small IG celebrity, with around 8k followers.

Now, normally i would never even expect to have any chance with a girl like this. Not just because she is insanely gorgeous, but also because she is very popular. But she is SO FUCKING BRUTALLY HOT on every single level, both face and body, that i just couldn't stay away. I started DM'ing her. She didn't even respond the first two times. I kept insisting. Couldn't stop looking at her. By the third time she told me to fuck off. By the fourth attempt we were talking. She is a bit of a ninfo and i uncovered that side of her by hitting the right buttons and saying the right things to get her turned on. 3 days later we were fucking. She is actually a nice girl. Not nearly as dumb as she looks in her photos. And certainly not nearly as popular. She barely has any friends.

This is why your approach is garbage TO ME. I know for a fact that i can still get a percentage of the girls who reject me at first if i insist a couple more times. It's just a fact. Plus, how much time do i waste giving it a second try? 2 minutes? 2 minutes is the price to pay for a new chance to get lucky. Every approach is a chance. Too many red pilled guys just don't put in the effort because they expect girls to look at them and say "yes" right away, because you're so fucking wonderful. You're not. That's why you're here. Real Don Juans don't waste time here.

[–]McVaghunter4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's sad to see that you completely missed the point of TRP which is to cut the amount of time and effort wasted pursuing pussy in order invest it pursuing your mission or enjoying your activities. You're clearly average looking and still lack abundance. Insisting a couple more times and double texting girls is fine as long as it is a temporary fix while working on improving your SMV so you won't have to ask twice. But if you have no interest in improving your SMV then you simply don't belong to this subreddit.

i can still get a percentage of the girls who reject me at first if i insist a couple more times

Of course you can get some pity sex if you keep insisting, no one said you can't, but pity sex is something high SMV men have no interest in.

If the majority of girls reject you at first then your SMV is not high enough. I discard girls who give me a "maybe" because they're a minority and I already have more girls who are very interested, who not only will give me a solid "yes" but some of them will be the ones asking first to go out.

you expect girls to say "yes" right away because you're so fucking wonderful. You're not.

Make no fucking mistake, my SMV is way too fucking high compared to the average fucks in my city, my lifestyle too. A lot guys in this sub are actually hot, with great aesthetics, excellent style and a cool lifestyle, or at least working on improving them, not just sitting their asses doing noting about it. That's the point of TRP; not being average and not being treated like one.

[–]Psyyko5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

But if you have no interest in improving your SMV then you simply don't belong to this subreddit.

I don't think you're even intelligent enough to discuss this subject. In no way shape or form insisting 2 or 3 times with a girl i really want to bang stops me from improving myself in any way.

improving your SMV so you won't have to ask twice.

Improving your SMV doesn't equal to improving your SMV to the point where every girl will just wanna have sex with you right away. Dumb, delusional and uneducated, if this is really how you think. If you're incredibly desirable you might be able to get away with just fucking random hot girls every time you want . But if you're not that person, there will be girls that will not wanna go out with you right away. Period. The vast majority of men will never reach the point where they can just ask out whoever they want and the person will simply say yes. That's not reality. You're living a fantasy. Like a kid.

Another important thing you seem to be missing is the fact that we don't all have the same purpose. Maybe i want a specific girl. Maybe the next girl won't be as desirable as the girl who just told she wants to chat online a little more. I get what i want. Your purpose must be to just get random pussy for the sake of getting random pussy, but my goal is to get the pussy that i want. And i don't accomplish that by just saying "yeah, bye then".

Of course you can get some pity sex if you keep insisting, no one said you can't, but pity sex is something high SMV men have no interest in.

You're a man full of preconceived notions about men, women and life. You just think you have the answers for everything which, once again, tells me you're not very smart. You don't know me, and i certainly don't get pity sex. Just the fact that you think girls will fuck a guy out of pity just because he sent them a couple of text messages shows how little you really know about women. You're what i would call a "keyboard alpha".

If the majority of girls reject you at first then your SMV is not high enough. I discard girls who give me a "maybe" because they're a minority and I already have more girls who are very interested, who not only will give me a solid "yes" but some of them will be the ones asking first to go out.

High enough for what? For that particular girl? You don't know that girl. You don't know how desirable a man needs to be in order for her to say "yes" right away. Again, more generalizations coming from someone who knows exactly nothing. What SMV do i need to fuck a girl that's hotter than Megan Fox? Should i first become Brad Pitt and then try my luck? Get some sense, kid.

Make no fucking mistake, my SMV is way too fucking high compared to the average fucks in my city, my lifestyle too.


lot guys in this sub are actually hot, with great aesthetics, excellent style and a cool lifestyle, or at least working on improving them, not just sitting their asses doing noting about it. That's the point of TRP; not being average and not being treated like one.

A lot of guys are indeed super hot. Most of them aren't here though. And a lot of guys can indeed become super hot if they work a little bit on themselves. But you also have guys that no amount of work on themselves would make them instantly desirable to a hot woman. Those guys would need the ability to develop strategies that might not be the same strategies someone completely different would use. But again, you seem to have a very simplistic vision of how the world works, so this might be too much for you to understand

[–]thechopps69 points70 points  (0 children) | Copy

But sometimes doing nothing is better than doing something with you...

[–]Bielzabutt2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

So many times.. THIS! Early in my dating era I would usually offer this up the day of the show. It's always better to be the option that comes up than be opted out for something else.

[–]TheStumblingWolf29 points30 points  (2 children) | Copy

If you were really hungry, would you say "maybe" when offered food?

[–]uptimex23 points24 points  (1 child) | Copy

It is for sure. It is like if a model asked you out, your reaction even if you were an introverted type. You'd say "Yes" or "Fuck, I am busy that time, but let's do it tomorrow".

[–]nicyhasreddit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Talking about models, being a photographer also allows me to be able to decide her outfit.

I tell her, 'come in a dressy style' or 'come in a street style'. It absolutely works each and every time.

Girls aren't like men. Girls have 500 pieces of clothes in their wardrobe and they do not know what to wear. Deciding what they wear actually eliminates that thought process that makes them take that long.

[–]spider_13371 point2 points  (13 children) | Copy

If interest is low isn't it worth trying to raise it?

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire287 points88 points  (3 children) | Copy

How would you go about doing that? By telling her how great you are? By trying to bribe her with incentives like a free meal? By adopting some sort of pose?

The best thing you can do is just accept it, walk away, and try asking someone else out. This demonstrates abundance and actually raises your value by showing her that you never needed her, or didn't have some sort of fixation on her. She merely piqued your interest, and now you're on to someone else to see if THEY are interested in YOU.

IF you don't find someone else, OR even if you do, you could always try to ask her out again in the future. Maybe make it even more casual and low-pressure than your first attempt.

[–]tiagomunder0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

But doesn't this have a flaw not you can't really invite anyone else or otherwise she could happear and just join you and the girl you are already with?

[–]lobstergenocide2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

that's on her then, if anything you succeed in getting another girl and THEN girl 1 shows up, you just make her jealous and raise your SMV in her eyes. you tell her you invited someone else and have a great night with girl 2. you lose nothing and you could end up making girl 1 more receptive to a date in the future

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire23 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

If someone says "Maybe" to an invitation, it's a "soft" "No."

You can always just say that you assumed they weren't interested, so you asked someone else, or you told someone else and they were excited and invited themselves along, etc.

You've got your own life to live. You can't go around waiting on other people.

Many of us are taught conflicting things: that we are the center of the universe, but that we also need to be people pleasers, oh, and also, there is our "soul-mate," that one special someone.

These three "sub-routines" combine to create scarcity mentality and one-itis.

Since we are the center of the universe, we assume that when we discover our "soul-mate," who is really just a girl we are really attracted to, that they will be equally attracted to us because of how we feel for them, but that it's all in how we present ourselves, what we say, how we appear, our style, etc., and that if it's not working, it's all in what we did, and not say, the fact that we either don't have high enough innate SMV to generate the mutual interest, or there simply is no chemistry on her end.

Also, you have to remember this IRON LAW: men experience their sexual peak at 16, when they are ill equipped to handle it, and when they have low SMV. Women experience theirs at 35, when they are better equipped to handle it, in theory, but their SMV is on the decline. This probably has to do with natural selection, where the men who were sexually aggressive and horny at a young age, passed on their genes before they were sent off to die in a war or into a salt-mine to be worked to death, and the women who compensated for their declining looks with increased horniness passed on more children as well.

So this is working AGAINST YOU. That's right, evolutionary biology is NOT your friend. When you are in high school, mooning over some girl who just sprouted a fresh pair of knockers, she's either not capable of feeling your intensity of feeling yet, or she feels it at a way lower intensity. She may be horny occasionally, and she may enjoy sex, but not nearly at the level that you do. Plus, everyone is still constantly approaching her in a number of ways for sex, so now she has gone from adolescent abruptly to full-grown woman with endless offers and solicitations that's she's biologically ambivalent about.

[–]Ivabighairy125 points26 points  (1 child) | Copy

No, you’d look needy. Abundance! Ask out others.

[–]omega_dawg9319 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

ask others out anyway... and take the offer from the best looking one and flake on the rest.

that's how girls do it and weirdly enough, they kinda respect that bs.

[–]WalterEArmstrong6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're playing into her hand.

[–]JayViceroy5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

you’re probably not going to raise that over text. and depending on how far out the event is u might raise it temporarily but night of it might change.

[–]Taki32-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

contrary to the other advice I would say you should raise her interest, the question is how? Any direct attempts will result in failure. A better strategy would be to show value indirectly, flirt with beautiful women, go on dates, have adventures and create good stories; word will get around.

[–]Nicolas063113 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

So basically, you don't do it actively to her, you go on with life, increase your value. It is finally the same response as others just expressed differently.

[–]Taki320 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Isn't that expression key though? I mean I get it, all the advice not to chase, but it's not helpful to say "don't do x." In my opinion it's better to have a plan and be working the plan, especially when the benefits of doing so bestow agency

[–]Greaterbird113 points114 points  (18 children) | Copy

Mabye is a soft no. It's the Brad Pitt rule. How would she act if her celebrity crush asked her out? Would she say maybe to him? A girl who is actually interested will move mountains to be with you or will try to find a different date to meet if she has a real obligation.

The response is indifference. How would a man respond that has 5 other women eager to spend time with him? He'd have a tough time caring because she's not his only option. The responses can be "okay", "ok, see you next time" "ok dude, have fun at your x" or just not responding at all, then following through with being uninvested.

The worst response to give would be things that are trying to be butt-hurt, manipulative like trying to make her jealous, trying to talk her into it, etc. You play the long game by having a trend of not giving a shit. You're best off when you get things to the point where she's trying to convince you that she's worth your time.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas31 points32 points  (14 children) | Copy

A girl who is actually interested will move mountains to be with you

Herculean strength, yet still unwilling to ghost beta orbiters.

[–]Greaterbird30 points31 points  (2 children) | Copy

Women are nothing if not full of contradictons

[–]Project_Zero_Betas10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's why beta bux exists.

[–]1trueliberal10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hypocrisy is not contradictions. Women's behavior is very consistent with red pill theory, but not with what they say they value.

[–]Persaeus13 points14 points  (5 children) | Copy

Not so much unwilling as not designed to: her upside is you’re available to move furniture and her downside is you kill her.

Orbiters orbit because they’re weaker and smaller than what they’re orbiting.

[–]lobstergenocide8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wow this is actually great. Betas are moons, women are planets. You wanna be the sun

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Agreed, but when beta orbiters are literally killing their chance at getting Chads kid, you'd think something would go off in their mental wiring, no?

[–]Persaeus0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Gotta say I don’t understand what you just said at all

[–]Project_Zero_Betas2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm saying in cases where girls were so focused on their beta orbiters, they blew their chances at getting a kid from Chad, one would assume that something in their brain would go off that says "You're doing this wrong."

[–]MilkMoney1112 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Who else is going to give her attention and validation when Chad leaves her?

[–]Nicolas06311 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I know a girl from childhood and she always try to reach me and try to discuss her life. It is impressive how she can't let it go. Even men she explain are trash that she doesn't want to see again, she will continue to at least chat with them.

She can't let go.

[–]THEimporter0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah what’s the thing with these sorts of girls?

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Going through that exact same problem right now. Girl developed oneitis for me because I was only one to treat her like a normal human being while she was young, and she took her oneitis for me as carte blache to do straight up horrible things to me, and she can't fathom now why I've moved on. She's literally incapable of letting go.

[–]jrr6415sun4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

a girl can still be interested and just like you less than brad pitt though

[–]Greaterbird27 points28 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sure. Taken less literally you're looking for a "hell yes." People that are excited to spend time with you will make a point of doing so.

A maybe means you're plan B at most, and no self respecting man wants to be some girl's backup plan.

[–]Nicolas06310 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. Also maybe if you follow it is the worst. So what you can't invite and have your stuff with another girl in case she might come ?

Consider it a no and go on with life.

[–]Andgelyo34 points35 points  (0 children) | Copy


If a girl wants to see you, she will see you. I was just telling my brother who was butt hurt about getting a beautiful Egyptian girl’s number, but when he called she gave him lots of “maybes”to hanging out. You’ll know if a girl wants to see you just by what they say. Even though they’re busy, if she’s highly interested, she will make time for you. Other than that, keep it moving and next the bitch.

[–]Butter_Man25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy

cant go wrong with indifference. you're on your journey with or without her.

[–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

You had plans either way right? Her maybe doesn’t change that.

You are the prize.

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire218 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy

Maybe = Probably no, but I don't want to alienate you just in case I have nothing else going on, or you somehow become useful to me in the future.

If she flat out told you "no," you would think, "Well, I guess she is of no further use to me," and then you would stop paying attention to her.

This has already happened to her, that is why she has learned to hedge her bets with a "Maybe." If you think about it, you have probably done this at some point. It just means you were lukewarm about the activity in question. She is lukewarm towards you.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Ooooh she's afraid of commitment."

[–]Bear-With-Bit5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

maybe is a non-bitchy way of saying no.

[–]Cornelius_Rex17 points18 points  (9 children) | Copy

Just be direct. My response tends to be.

Maybe doesn't work for me.

Aaaand ghost. I guess this is a MGTOW standpoint where I legitimately don't care to waste my time on a woman who isn't overtly interested. I met a girl Sunday, we went out Wenesday, she wasn't what she implied she would be or what Im interested in, and so I took her home early. She messaged me today and I didn't reply. Other than offering to be a wet hole for my momentary pleasure, she has nothing to offer, anymore.

[–]xjx54512 points13 points  (5 children) | Copy

Maybe doesn't work for me.

This is such a butthurt response, and terrible advice.

Do you think that people who are successful with women waste their time with shit like this? If she says maybe, don't respond, or reply "Cool, next time". The subcommunication you're putting off here is "I'm really upset you rejected me, and I'm either a psycho, or I care way too much about this conversation". It's the exact opposite of MGTOW.

[–]Cornelius_Rex-4 points-3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Whatever you say, bro. Make your own future, but get out of mine. Rope yourself for all I care. Thanks!

[–]_DeezNuts714_7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Lol, that was unnecessary. So toxic...

[–]Cornelius_Rex1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

So is commenting to tell someone their perfectly valid and successful method is "a butthurt response." Fucking gatekeeping.

Not all keys open all locks. Not all tools csn be used in all situations. Not everyone achieves the same goals through uniform methods. Get bent, shallow-minded, party-line spouting sheep.

[–]Laykeside11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

+100. This is almost always the answer. Ghost them. OP's post is yet another way to someone manipulate her into going out with you, and why do you give enough of a fuck that you need to have her to go out with you? What is so special about this one that you can't afford to give her a way out? The minute you start giving preferential treatment, the minute you try to coerce her with words to go out with you, you're already pedestalizing her. Enter budding phase of oneitis. No, one woman is necessarily better than the other. Some have a nice face, some have great tits, some have a pretty pussy and some have it all, but remember, all they're here to do is a serve a purpose for you, if they're not willing to, they are of no use to you and they can leave.

[–]GrapeCulture694 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just curious, was she not what you wanted, physically, or more than that? I got fatfished recently and I'm still bitter about it. It's genuinely dishonest. She used outdated and edited pictures (that I noticed in retrospect). Wondering if this is the new standard now.

[–]Cornelius_Rex4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Both but her personality went from being a pleasant 8 to a bitchy 2 and that just isn't worth it to me even if she was an HB8.

[–]MatSapientia3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

[–]majani11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

A maybe is a 90% chance she'll flake due to low interest. Best thing is to say something like "sounds like you're busy, maybe next time" and hit her back up after a couple weeks of exploring other options. Hopefully in those two weeks her circumstances have changed somehow and she's more open to seeing you, but it's a long shot nonetheless with a low interest woman

[–]_do_not_read_this_14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

In addition, some give a "maybe" thinking they're being coy because they have so many Billy Betas constantly hitting them up over and over - "why not?" or "Come on please?" or "It'll be fun, we can do something else that you like" - and they have learned that this is how to be asked out, or they just like the constant attention.

I think giving *them* a soft blow off - "Okay maybe we'll do something cool some other time" - could be so new to them, IDGAF and all that, that they're not used to being the center of attention.

[–]juggernaut86 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

sounds like you're busy, maybe next time

Over text? Too many words, just say aight or ok and disappear.

Assume it's a no for now and then hit her back in a couple weeks (if you still want to) like you say.

[–]TheDumbAsk1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

At that point you already got the no, so you can say you need a more concrete answer as you have other people to ask if not.

[–]1Sir_Distic1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"I'll see you there." Or no response. You're going one way or another. With or without her.

[–]Psyyko1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It depends on how interested you are and how valuable your time is. Being rejected one times doesn't mean being rejected every single time. Around 70% of the girls i've dated until this day weren't interested the first time i tried something with them. Don't beg for it, but you can keep talking to her and trying to captivate her. It's possible that in the future she will wanna go out with you. If you never experience second or third chances it is because you're probably not trying.

[–]ntvirtue0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do the exact same thing with at least four other women.

[–]Graciey480 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sometimes maybe is a recognition of the game you’re playing and that theyre also trying to appear aloof.

She’s most likely going to go, just don’t reply at all.

[–]Balderdash790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ask as many cuties as you know. When multiple women show up at the venue, hilarity ensues.

Bring a bag of white cheddar popcorn.

[–]KekistanRefugee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That’s when you say “Alright, let me know soon though” and end the convo. If they’re truly interested and still can’t make it, they’ll at least try to plan something else with you.

[–]uwey-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

“oooook then I will find someone else.”

And walk away. Don’t even bother.

Your value to freely walk in and out anyone’s life will speak for itself.

The fear of loss is actually the double damaging here you cause. By offering her something, and immediately take it away.

That will make her mind change really quickly.

Use fear of loss by given something that simply a lip service, by offer and demonstrate your words have weight, she will see how your time is something she may have, but you flex it and take it away will make her want more your time. By then, offer NONE will drive a drug addict crazy.

You should control the supply and demand of your time and words. Simple like that, also with unparalleled intensity, people notice your level of audacity and will challenge it. Show it, and manage it.

[–]Nicolas06315 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It would only work if she still interrested, and also you'll appear a looser if she see you didn't go at all.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (3 children) | Copy

"You sound like you are busy, I'd love to meet so let me know when you figure out your schedule." Send this, then don't initiate again. She will either reach out to you or she won't.

A maybe is a no. If you agree to maybe plans that will 90% lead to a no, you are telling her that your time is so invaluable and that you have nothing going on in your life, that you will agree to a "maybe". Sending this message let's her know you don't do maybe plans and leaves the door open for her to change her mind and come back.

A maybe is a no anyways so this message at least leaves the door open to a yes in the future.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy

Saying “I’d love to meet” to a girl that’s, at best, ambivalent seems like it communicates way too much investment

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Then leave that part out if you want. This sub makes some people too cold, which will make you use a lot of women, trust me, I've been there. My response isn't cold and even slightly warm but it retracts your invitation which will get her hamster spinning. I've tried the whole, "ok" response or even "k" that this sub often suggests and that doesn't work at all with a girl who's interest is 50/50.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well obviously ok or k seems super bitter and butt hurt. I think there’s a middle ground.

[–]Don_Himself-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Flake on them before they flake on you.

Her: 'maybe'

you: "Nvm, we'll have to postpone this for another day love" and then ghost her for a week

[–]_do_not_read_this_ 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

The first time I read about this template I used it four times in a row with four "yes" responses in a row.

There's a reason it's a classic.

[–]MeansToABenz74 points75 points  (4 children) | Copy

Women want a man who can lead! They want a man who has his shit together; someone with their shit together does not concern themselves with the opinions of sheep. You’re a man, not some little wishy-washy bitch. That is why I make sure to always have a next checkpoint set up for dates and plates! Stay prepared lads.

[–]Uesugi198916 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy

Tywin Lannister is that you ?

[–]reversec8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

That's the line he used when he was speaking with Arya Stark

[–]Uesugi198911 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

No that's the line he used when speaking to jaime, while skinning a dead deer or something

"You care so much for what other people think of you. The lion does not concern himself with the opinions of a sheep "

[–]reversec1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

yeah, i remember now i think that was before the coming war

[–]zero0x22 points23 points  (7 children) | Copy

@ u/darchetype

Isn't a show at club/theatre too much of investment for first date?

How can I ask for simpler things like coffee?

[–]majani33 points34 points  (2 children) | Copy

Indeed, this sort of thing works better as a 2nd date onwards. First dates for me are strictly $10 and below. Coffee, a walk in the forest, a rooftop etc. Some might say it's not adventurous enough, but I like to start slow and ramp it up after screening on the first date.

[–]ZeppKfw20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't think girls even care what you do anyways. It's how you carry yourself.

[–]phenethyljammin5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

True, but you don't want to waste too much time and money on a mediocre date with a girl you don't find attractive.

[–]Looking_4_Stacys_mom4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Same thing but just say coffee? E.g.

"Hey, I'm gonna be going to the mall to have brunch and coffee, you should come along"


"Hey, you seem interesting, let's grab a coffee."

If she finds you interesting/attractive, she's probably gonna say yes no matter what you say. It's like for tinder how it literally doesn't matter what you say if you follow rules 1 & 2

[–]bryoneill114 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well if you want to know if the girl is worthy of your time and money and you will enjoy your time around her just ask her if she wants to go out to get some covfefe.

Depending on her reaction you will know everything you'll need to know about her, and your time with her.

[–]2CasaDeFranco0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do what you usually do, your life is an adventure, will she join?

Visit the gallery, have a picnic, hiking, walking by the beach, going surfing, learning salsa, painting at my place, cooking a new French dish I'm perfecting.

All of these are cheap and cost next to nothing.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (0 children) | Copy

I used to do this to ask a girl out and it worked, but I've refined my method to be a little more sincere.

If it's a first date and we've had a few banter/rapport messages, "listen, you seem like an interesting girl and I'd like to see if it's the same in person." or if she's showing super high interest I am just honest. "Listen, you seem like a cool girl and I'd like to get to know you more in person." Then, if and when they respond enthusiastically (almost every time), I say when and where.

OP's method has been a redpill staple for years and absolutely works, but I thought I'd share my method that works great for me.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor40 points41 points  (14 children) | Copy

This beauty of this sort of wording is you aren't actually asking her out on a date. You aren't playing an archaic mating ritual that was meant to culminate in marriage (or not). The older hens love talking about "date this" and "date that" when talking about this stuff.

But I don't date. I never did. Women asked me out and I have agreed--free dinner sounds nice. I make plans and invite others to join me. The end game of that arraignment isn't marriage. It isn't anything. Something happens. Something doesn't happen. It's all good.

This provides two key advantages and one key disadvantage for women. Advantage one is that invariably whatever I invited them to do was more exciting than dinner, a movie and a hand job in the parking lot. Advantage two is that they can enjoy themselves (read: get railed properly) outside of their in-group without suffering the reaction of their in-group. Their friends will have expectations about with whim they have sex. This was there are zero expectations and zero consequences--a powerful aphrodisiac. The downside is that they are not going to lock me down. Our 'relationship' is entirely on my terms. But hey, if they are just looking for a good fuck buddy, it worked great for them.

[–]Greaterbird6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

The downside is that they are not going to lock me down.

Unless they're already high interest, in which case they'll see it as a chance to try to lock you down.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ok, yes, that is correct. They may still try to convert it down the road. The hamster has super powers.

[–]Protocol_Apollo6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

What kind of plans do you make with women?

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Dunno. What do YOU like to do?

[–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp24 points25 points  (1 child) | Copy

What do YOU like to do?

"Hey I'm gonna fuck you on Wednesday at 7pm, you should come too."

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's throwing for the end zone but plenty of games have been won that way.

It was a long time ago so the wording is fuzzy, but I had one go something like this.

ME: I'm going to go work on some body art you should come along.

HER: What would I do?

ME: I need a body.

[–]jrr6415sun3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

This beauty of this sort of wording is you aren't actually asking her out on a date.

but how does the girl know if it's a date or just a friend's thing if you're not asking it like a date? Wouldn’t that just put you in the friends zone?

[–]redpill_journey8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why does it matter what the girl tells herself what it is? Isn't it even more exciting for her to not know?

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

I sexualize these situations out of the gate so there is no ambiguity. Don't be an autistic creep or anything, but it's not that hard to make your intentions clear.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

"Don't be an autistic creep"

Thanks, but where do you draw the line?

I have a hard time calibrating sometimes.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is the tough part, but I think it all comes down to not trying too hard. For instance, it's ok to check her out, but don't leer at her. Eye contact is good, but she isn't a cat--don't try to win a staring contest. It's ok that she's your prime focus of attention, but don't pretend she's the only person in the world. It's ok to look around. Be playful. Make innuendo, but don't outright tell her how much jazz you plan on painting her tits with.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, I see sense in this.

Thanks for the advice, man

[–]PhyllisWheatenhousen5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she likes you then she doesn't want it to just be a friend thing. You should know if she likes you and make it clear enough that you're interested in her before inviting her.

[–]ArdAtak 1 points [recovered]  (12 children) | Copy

Absolutely. I used to just tell girls to meet me at the beach where I was playing ball. They'd come, have a beer, watch me glisten and run around. No cost to me. They were wet by the time I was done. EZPZ.

[–]BadDad0123481 points82 points  (1 child) | Copy

Was it beach volleyball? If yes, was it performed in slow motion top gun style?

[–]Briggy198636 points37 points  (6 children) | Copy

Sounds tough to bounce around the beach glistening in the sun Chad.

[–]1SeemedGood52 points53 points  (3 children) | Copy

The tough part was the work he did to get attractive enough for it to be EZPZ.

Rather than being jealously snide about it, you’d be better served getting to work yourself so that it can be easy for you too.

[–]BlindStark26 points27 points  (2 children) | Copy

I’d rather hop on Chad’s back and form some type of symbiosis where I text the females to come and then suckle on their teet while Chad rams their corn-hole

[–]1SeemedGood7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seems like a lot of work for harvesting toe cheese.

[–]Briggy19862 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a better answer.. thanks!

[–]_DeezNuts714_1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Seems like a LARP. Has many posts in Halo and gaming stuff. Doubt a Chad would be posting stuff like that, let alone be on Reddit at all.

[–]Blackwater_75 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

how many girlfriends did you had in your entire life?

[–]phisch1311 points12 points  (5 children) | Copy

How do you do this when asking to dinner or a walk? I went on a date with a girl today and she seemed interested in going for a walk at this one specific place near us she mentioned.

I guess I could say that I’m going to the park, she should come?

But asking for dinner? I don’t think I can say “I’m going to xyz, you should meet me there.”

Or is this tip mostly for first dates?

[–]1XtoDoubt31 points32 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't do dinner dates. Awkward, boring, and expensive. Maybe when she earns it a few months down the line. Use the format described above until she's bumped up to ltr(if she ever gets there)

[–]phisch1314 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

I like dinner dates for me, it’s a solid excuse to go to a new place to eat and I like food. Especially since I started cutting months ago, I’m always looking for excuses to go to nice restaurants and cheat for a meal.

And I’m done with LTRs for the foreseeable future. Expensive, time consuming, bullshit. Decided I didn’t want another one a while back. So if I don’t take randoms on dinner dates, no dinner dates for me.

I’ll stick to the walk in a park for now though, using the above format.

[–]gimmesumfriedchicken6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would probably say something along the lines of "I've been craving _____ food recently, you should join me. Thoughts?

[–]juggernaut81 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wanna try out this new place, let's go.

[–]That_Othr_Guy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"you remember that place you talked about going to, let's go tomorrow"

And while on that walk date or before (if you wish) say, "let's grab a bite after"

[–]escapethesolarsystem7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

This. In my entire life, even before red pill, I've never asked a girl on a date. I just say "I want to do this at this time, are you coming?"

Years ago, when I was just starting to see a girl that is now my ex-wife, I called her one day and left a message on her phone "I'm going to the beach, want me to come get you?" - she didn't call back in 20 minutes, so I called her back and said "Sorry, if you wanted to go to the beach, it's too late, I'm on my way, see you another day." She found this so amusing she actually kept the message for years on her phone, it was one of her favorite things - and she always got back to me right away on future invites (well, I guess she was interested :D ).

The marriage didn't turn out so well (beta by 1000 cuts) but that's a story for another time. I've lived and learned.

[–]linkinway0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

What do you mean by - beta by 1000 cuts

[–]escapethesolarsystem0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Basically, entering a relationship with an alpha / self-confident mentality, then getting that beaten down slowly by the never-ending demands from the women and society's "happy wife, happy life" propaganda. The truth is, a happy wife is one that you say "no" to on a regular basis, but nobody in beta-cuck blue-pill America ever tells you that in your 20's. You don't realize that the reason she liked you at first is because of your "i'm the leader, you follow me or leave" mentality, and you let that slip to "make her happy" (i.e., become a slave to her every demand), and the attraction fades away.

Eventually she cheats, and the marriage is over (unless you're really a cuck and stick with her even after that, then you're in for a world of suffering).

(I say 'you' in the general sense, of course.)

[–]PineappleInThePizza6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think that if she likes you then no matter how you ask for go out, probably she agree.

But is a good point to make a statement instead to ask.

[–]1XtoDoubt26 points27 points  (3 children) | Copy

One caveat: ask what her schedule is like that week first. Prevents an unnecessary awkward rejection based off of you picking a date and time when she's busy. "she'll make time for you if she's into you" not before the first date knucklehead.

[–]EliteAlmondMilk13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Only thing there is if you ask about schedule before you tell her what you're doing, for all she knows she'll say she's free and you'll come back with some lame thing that she now has to reject. Also most people don't like to seem like they have nothing but free time. This is a tricky one though because a specific time does give them an easy out.

[–]1XtoDoubt-4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I mean if she's not interested she's not interested. At least you're not pointlessly blowing it because you picked a date and time when she's at work or something.

[–]Nicolas0631-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

+1 The big problem about propositions like that is the girl is busy, so she will say no (not maybe actually) and that's to be expected.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Remember this when men chase women it is considered “creepy” and your the Troll. But when rolls are reversed and women are chasing men. It is welcomed and considered sexy and normal. Jack goes into Jills bedroom window at night and they curl toes it is rape. But Jill goes into Jacks window at night and it is a score. Bada bing bada boom.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

based and Redpilled, thanks for the tip. I always forget

[–]Sweetdreams182 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This implies you should have a social circle to go with

[–]BuzzLightGear321 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I would like to say that being unassuming is important here. Once I was too direct and stated a time/place for her to meet me, we were already talking about things to do together. She took it as a order and caused some second thoughts. Best to tell her she should do something, instead of completely assuming the sale, at least on the first date.

[–]ZeppKfw5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's a difference between being a weirdo and assertive/ a leader.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

that's a rookie basics of pua.

[–]xjx5451 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is OK but I think this is weak. It focuses too much on the content of the conversation and not the context.

The best date is not one that you plan, it's an instant date. Ask her out to coffee when you're together in person. During the interaction ask if she's ever done anything spontaneous. Mention the club or area, then ask if she's interested in hanging out again. Tell her in person that you're going to text her later. When you do text, don't chit chat. Tell her you'll be at the club at 7 or 8 for something fun. Don't be a specific. She doesn't need to know there's a show. Make sure the club is next to your house or apartment.

The whole "asking out" thing is such a train-wreck. Use a compliance ladder. Demonstrate discretion. She will naturally throw out shit tests, asking you about other women, dates, if you do this to other girls, etc, etc. You'll know when you're passing because she will be all over you, getting physical and it will be fucking obvious since most women have no tact when they're attracted to someone.

Finally, once you close the deal and get her in bed you need to shut up about it and be cool. That's all there is to it.

[–]RivenHalf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I love your explanation on "Should." I usually like to be as direct as possible, like straight up hey come with me to this but I will be trying the "should," the next few go around

[–]BigWeenus421 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wonder if replacing the "you should join me" with "Join me" would make it better.

Pretty sure it will

[–]Balea20191 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lets say you meet a girl and get her number, I will usually tell her: "hey lets meet for a coffee next week, when are you free". If she is interested she will suggest a few days and times. Never pay for anything, see if you like her and after few hours you should leave and say "I am meeting some friends after here" or just come up with something interesting. Say it was nice to meet you and leave.

If you like her for the second date can be more interesting, if she comes up for a second date she is interested in you and proceed.

[–]Odd_String0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good post. One caveat is if they make logistics difficult or impossible - move on. Ambiguity is the message.

[–]Shykiwi3120 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How would you respond if she is busy that day but free the next?

[–]AirworthyPotos0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is literally a report.

[–]ChouDai0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In my experience, the simple phrase “tryna chill?” is all you need.

[–]Psyyko0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is mostly useless for the simple fact that if a girl doesn't wanna go out with you, she won't go out with you. She will decline, whether you present the invitation as a question or as a statement. It's also a trap to convince yourself that you know what she will feel. You don't. If she doesn't give a fuck about you or your opportunity. What you consider interesting and exciting might be boring for someone else. Posing as a statement does sound cooler than asking, but it won't convince anyone that doesn't wanna be with you in the first place.

[–]Bensea10 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

If you say you’re doing something at a certain day & time, is she assuming that you’ll be with others? Or is it just fine to show up alone after she agrees to come with you?

How would you answer her questions on why none of your friends are with you? Or if she questioned if the invite was just for her only. Wouldn’t you look low value?

[–]darchetype[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Doesn't matter if you're with friends or by yourself (would be best if you're solo for a first date situation).

The point is that you're doing something YOU want to do regardless if someone else comes along for the ride. You're going to have fun no matter what. You're doing this for yourself, not for her. In fact, don't even phrase it as a date in your head, cuz then you'll just be let down if she does decline.

You shouldn't even be worried if she questions why none of your friends are with you. The easy answer is that you felt like checking out this new brewery/concert/rock-climbing gym/park/whatever, and you are confident enough to go there on your own. Which leads to a bigger problem I see everywhere...

People are too reliant on others to have a good time. Picture this: You ask around to see if anyone wants to go to a concert with you, and no one bites. So what do you do? You decide not to go to the concert, for a band that you're dying to see, just because you're afraid you'll feel awkward being there alone. Makes no god dang sense. Just go to the fucking concert. You'll have a great time. Quick giving a fuck about what others around you think. I doubt they even know you're there alone. You know what's also great about going somewhere alone? It pushes you out of your comfort zone and forces you to converse and meet new people.

I see these same posts like once a week in the sports and music subreddits I'm subscribed to. "Should I go to this game alone?" "Would I have a good time at this concert by myself?" You know what these people are? They're weak and insecure. Stop being weak and insecure and just have fun god damnit.

Lead an interesting life and she'll follow.

[–]Blackwater_70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How many girlfriends did you had until today?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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