659,329 posts

Can you demote a wife to plate status?

by anxiously_synonymous | August 18, 2019 | askMRP

16 upvotes

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Wife went to visit sick family member out of town for about a month. Found evidence on a USB that she was at a guys house overnight.

Not sure what to do next.

I am a fucking catch if I do say so.

Her and I get along great. She respects me and takes my lead, we laugh, have fun and have great sex and are good friends.

She had been talking lately about getting older and losing some of her great looks etc. Our 10 year anniversary is coming up.

I've been busy for work, and haven't had time or inclination to "cash in" on my new late bloomer, handsome man-in-demand status.

Never once cheated or really even thought about it honestly.

Mentally and emotionally I'm just fine.

I know I could do pretty damn well. We have great kids. Home life is great, kids are great.

Not sure what next move is.

She shows no real need to branch swing, and I'm sure she couldn't land anyone long-term as great as me. So it would be painful to see that whole process play out with her understanding the reality of her diminished prospects for anything longer than ONS.

Psychologically I'm just thinking, well ok you had fun, (hopefully the one time only)... so I suppose I will start to as well... and just see how it all plays out.

Any thoughts? Suggestions?

Kind of at a loss here, not sure how to proceed and accept the new reality.


Post Information
Title Can you demote a wife to plate status?
Author anxiously_synonymous
Upvotes 16
Comments 117
Date 18 August 2019 05:32 AM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/247971
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/crxdld/can_you_demote_a_wife_to_plate_status/
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Comments

[–]Cody_Silver42 points43 points  (8 children) | Copy

Source: 50ish grandfather here with a divorce when kids were young. I was a traveling consultant which has a 99% divorce rate. I have seen a lot of divorces with coworkers and friends.

You are not OK. You are in a world of shit. You seem like you are in denial. You are in a one sided war right now. The enemy has already acquired allies and is encroaching on your position.

Your open marriage idea is shit and will be used to turn your kids, family, friends, workers, dating leads, and the legal system against you. You are much better off being a man of integrity and say “it ends here, no further”.

You could have a full length video of her running a train on whole bar and it ain’t gonna matter in today’s society. There is no slut shaming. She will deny everything. She might even say that photoshopped the whole thing. Everyone knows she is an innocent lamb who would never do anything like that.

My advice to you is to leave as soon as possible. Everybody will be OK. My kids told me that they just wished I had divorced my wife earlier.

Your wife is going to divorce rape you. She is going to change into a beast you do not recognize. It’s like an animal going into survival mode. It is going to suck and you are going to be devastated. It’s OK, you will get better.

I would keep the pictures you have and whatever the PI finds quite. When she refuses to settle to what your lawyer says is a fair offer, talk to her and give her one last chance to be reasonable. If not, let the lawyer drop the evidence on the other lawyer. Legally, it might not matter, but emotionally, she might accept your final offer. By this point in time, she will probably have lied to everyone you know and made you look like the bad guy. Resist the urge to tell the truth to anyone, until you get to this point of no return, not even your mother.

After the divorce is final, you can always mail the same evidence packet to everyone if that is what you want to do.

My first wife is basically homeless in her 50s now. I feel no guilt because I had the talk with her during the divorce about how the lawyers would use our assets for new cars instead of her being able to live off them. Our divorce ended with a 5 day jury trial.

You are going to become disillusioned about our society. Right now you think the legal system is fair because that’s what you were taught in middle school. The truth is, the parasites (lawyers and judge) meet and decide how much they can steal from you. You will get divorced only after they have stolen close to their target amount from you. If you don’t have any assets, the divorce will be quick. If you do, it’s going to take a couple of years for the parasites to extract the divorce tax from you.

If you have to go to court, request a jury trial. They will be more focused on what is fair. A judge is just going to be concerned about his % of the kick back from the trial lawyers. If you need a humor break, google judges that got sex from women for judgments against their husbands.

The average time to recover for a man is 1 month for each year you were married. The suicide rate is astronomical for men going through a divorce. I know you are just fine, but don’t let the bastards grind you down.

On the positive side, you will get free drinks and dinners from every divorced man you meet for a couple of years, even strangers.

You will also be a lot happier on the other side of the divorce. Being married to a whore eats your soul.

[–]JudgeDoom693 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are not OK. You are in a world of shit. You seem like you are in denial.

u/anxiously_synonymous read that again, slowly. Your marriage was over the moment she hooked up with her side-Chad. It's time to go the the mattresses. NEXT her and keep working you yourself.

When you're in shape and have a younger, hotter babe on your arm, she'll realize her mistake.

But be clear, you don't have a choice in this matter. She's long gone and it's your fault.

[–]umizumiz6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

They really do have a sliding scale on cost that depends on how much on you could reasonably pay.

My divorce was cheap because I make $50-$60k and the wife made $30-$40k.

Even with the same exact asset breakdown, if I made $100k and she made $75k then I believe it would have cost more.

My lawyer doesn't have a "standard" price, he literally assessed me on the spot with the info he had and said "$1500, I'll start for $1500".

Now come on, you can't possibly tell me he would have said that to someone who could have written a $3,000 check that day... It's like he could see into my bank accounts soul, and knew precisely how much I would comfortably, and with a smile, write a check for on the spot...

Killer attorney tho

Spez: my divorce was "cheap"

[–]FlyingSexistPig2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This post is absolute gold.

[–]catchpull3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Damn, thank you. I think a book should be written by you.

[–]Luck-671 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

As a fellow 50sish old nasty divorced dude myself.....I almost choked when I read “FIVE day jury trial”. I hope peace has long come .....

[–]Cody_Silver3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

It has, but it took time. Jury gave me 95% of what I asked. I just wished I had done it sooner. So, much wasted time.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What state do they have jury trials? I’ve never heard of that in family law.

[–]Cody_Silver0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Georgia in 2005

[–]KoolAidMan798023 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your marriage is over. Whether its because you were a drunk captain or your wife cheated for no reason, it doesnt matter. Youll probably never know the why. People do things all the time that destroy their lives. You cant help her anymore. All the talk of her being a good wife and being respectful just makes you look weak, like you want to excuse her actions.

Like many others advised, speak to a lawyer immediately. No one on here can predict how divorce will pan out in the courts. Maybe you catch a break and walk away with a good settlement. Maybe she tries to rake you over the coals. Too many variables to predict that outcome. But if youre truly been sticking to the reading, lifting, and have been growing your career and wealth then you have a good base to rebuild.

For your children the road for them is going to be hard. They are going to be hurt and theres nothing you can do to shelter them from the pain that their mother’s actions are going to cause them. They are collateral damage in all this. But in this case doing whats best for you and divorcing is going to be whats best for them in the long run. They will see and eventually figure out what happened to your marriage and who played the part in the downfall.

I could throw out a bunch of cliches and quotes that get tossed around here like STFU and own your shit but it all boils down to the fact that being a man with self respect and living your life by a code is hard. Its hard to show strength when youve just been betrayed by the one you are married to. But what is it they say about the hardest steel being forged in the hottest fires? Good luck.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret21 points22 points  (7 children) | Copy

Explain the usb evidence

[–]anxiously_synonymous[S] 3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

Photos

[–]InChargeManRed Beret16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Photos of...

If you can't bring yourself to get to the fucking point don't expect others to waste their time on you.

[–]steelmelt3311 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do they prove your wife had an affair? If not, you might want to hire a PI and see what's up.

[–]markpf7315 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

A while back in our town, one of the wallish spin instructors was fucking some young trainer in the gym. Her husband found photos on her phone. He promptly posted them to all of her social media accounts with the #imawhore, #cheatingonmyhusband.

I’ve gotta admire the lack of hesitation with which he chose his path and sprinted down it.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

What the hell does that mean? Be clear if you want real help. Was she fucking some other dude? Do you know the guy? Details. You’re being annoying

[–]InChargeManRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

If I were the decider I would temporarily ban him for being an asshat.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes

[–]SoloQueueXL28 points29 points  (18 children) | Copy

Leave her. Your whole posts screams “someone convince me to stay”

You want bullshit advice go to relationship advice

[–]RoccoPinkman18 points19 points  (6 children) | Copy

Your not going to leave her, it sounds like you just came for sympathy.

If your such an Alpha Chad catch with all the cards why did she fuck another dude and take photos of it? Doesn’t sound like it’s something she wants to forget.

Maybe you should be honest with your self.

[–]SailorAground21 points22 points  (6 children) | Copy

So what you're saying is that you want to slow roll the divorce, because that's where this is heading. You don't just demote your second-in-command. You either work with them or part ways. This is obviously going to end with you parting ways but I can understand why you would want to delay that for your sake and the kids'. So, here's the plan:

  1. Go find a lawyer. In that process pay for consultations with all of the top lawyers in your area so that they can't represent her. Choose the one whose practice and philosophy best aligns with yours.
  2. Set up separate accounts and start moving money into them without her knowing. Ask the lawyer what the bare minimum is that you need to provide to her. It'll probably be around 50%. Put your paycheck into your new personal accounts and transfer to your joint accounts from there.
  3. Give all of the evidence of your wife cheating to your lawyer. It'll come in handy.
  4. Tell your lawyer that you plan on cheating on your wife in response to your wife's infidelity. Laugh in his face when he tells you it's a stupid idea.
  5. Continue being a man of value.
  6. Prepare yourself for the shitshow you are about to cause when your wife finds out that you're cheating on her and blames you for the destruction of your marriage instead of ever admitting to her infidelity.
  7. Be proud that you blew up your marriage like a total faggot instead of just walking away like an intelligent person.

[–]RStonePT8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Go find a lawyer. In that process pay for consultations with all of the top lawyers in your area so that they can't represent her. Choose the one whose practice and philosophy best aligns with yours.

If a judge finds you doing this he'll tear you a new asshole.

Give all of the evidence of your wife cheating to your lawyer. It'll come in handy.

unless it's an at fault juristidction, no one cares, the purpose is division of assets and childcare, not your wounded ego.

I get this is sarcasm... people do believe these though

[–]umizumiz0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Many places adultery has been rewritten to be taken into consideration "at judges discretion".

Which means, "barely ever considered". Lol

Spez: in the States

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Reminds me of the one clause in every military law where the CO and coxn could disregard laws for operational efficiency

[–]umizumiz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I asked around for the best lawyer, met with him and liked him. Asked him if there were any other attorneys around he didn't want to go up against and I'd pay them for a consultation lol

[–]catchpull0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

NUMBER 6. OP’s sweet little wife will come at him hard. Unfortunately, I know.

[–]umizumiz4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sure, after you divorce her.

Spez: also...

Oh, so nowwww you wanna do the program. Too late, buddy. Divorce her and keep fucking her if you want to, but definitely divorce her ass before you end up on he receiving end of a monkey branch/kids taken/divorce rape/suicide.

[–]Perfectinmyeyes10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think it depends on what you want and what you can accept.

I knew a guy once where his ltr cheated and he simple stated that - this isn't acceptable and it can never happen again in their relationship., and he will forgive it this once.

And as far as I know things worked out for the couple.

You decide what you want and what you can accept.

Take emotion out of the situation (sure easier said then done) and go from there.

I personally wouldn't/couldnt be ie hurtful back ie demote her to a plate and treat her poorly. But I'm not you.

If my wife cheated. I'd already know what her response would be if I caught her and confronted... She'd blame me and take no responsibility. And I'd plan my life accordingly given this info.

[–]bf5yes4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

That is exactly how my wife responded. All women are like that! Yes sir it is true.

[–]umizumiz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's true that a woman's entire world is created by us... We literally created a world for her where cheating was inevitable...

[–]askmeanything211 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

Can you demote a husband to cuck status?

[–]TopOccasion29-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

LMAO

[–]TopOccasion29-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

LMAO

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

I read your post and your comments before responding. With that having been said, your hamster is running on overdrive trying to come up with some type of reasoning to not start preparing for divorce immediately. You're essentially in denial that you need to have some self-respect here instead of being a cuck.

This this whiny bullshit about having kids making it hard to divorce. Your kids are not better off with having a cheating whore for a mother and a pussified cuck for a father who tries to stay together because he doesn't have the balls to leave her.

If you think that this is the only time she's cheated, then you're an idiot.

Not sure what next move is.

  1. Get an STD panel.
  2. Contact a divorce lawyer without her knowing to start getting your ducks in a row financially, custody, etc.
  3. Divorce her.

Also, you'll get this type of advice from a few people who don't know any better:

In that process pay for consultations with all of the top lawyers in your area so that they can't represent her.

Don't do this. It was a plot device on the Sopranos, but this is real life, and it doesn't work that way.

[–]lololasaurus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Regarding the last... You'll not be able to get them all - more than likely you'll find that a couple won't talk to you because she was already there anyway, and even if you don't, she'll just motion for the judge to require you to pay attorney fees for an attorney to come in from Father away, complete with travel fees. But I surely would consider it for the ones that are extra litigious and may be most likely to waste resources.

This has been done to me.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret10 points11 points  (18 children) | Copy

You can't sell me on how 'normal' this shit show is and how 'calm' you are about it, here's why...

1) overnight at Chad's

2) sex with Chad

3) ok Chad, sure, take photos, that will be fun Chad

4) ok Chad, keep the photos Chad

5) oh Chad, can I keep the photos too of your cock please Chad

6) here is a USB for me to keep them chad

7) USB can just lay around house, don't worry Chad my husband is limp as fuck chaddy, chaddy boy. He won't do anything.

..........

You know what 8 is you retard? 8 is the next session with Chad, maybe with some vids to submit to pornhub.

[–]anxiously_synonymous[S] -5 points-4 points  (16 children) | Copy

If someone steals my taurus in the driveway, but I've got a ferrari in the garage, what the fuck do I care?

[–]umizumiz19 points20 points  (2 children) | Copy

People fucking DESTROY stolen cars.

People do NASTY, DIRTY SHIT to stolen cars.

People do things to stolen cars that the original owners wouldn't DARE do, for fear that the car would break down.

That's your wife's pussy, asshole, and mouth.

[–]anxiously_synonymous[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Goddammit. Did not like reading this one bit. Harsh but thanks.

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fucking. Savage. But. True.

His wife will never be the same ...

[–]simbarlionRed Beret9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Because the reality is you don't yet have a Ferrari, and someone else is driving the taurus.

As long as you are fasttracking the Ferrari, sure, car share the taurus.

Personally I don't think I could look at the taurus again.

[–]ZestfulPoint1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why would you buy a Taurus in the first place?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Idk man, I drove a Taurus station wagon for a while in high school and fucked girls in the back sometimes. Other than the power steering going out about twice a year and the Boy Scout Mom sticker on the back, it wasn't bad for $1500.

[–]SelectAirline3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you had a Ferrari or even the means to acquire one, you wouldn't have written this post. And you do care, to an unhealthy degree:

it would be painful to see that whole process play out with her understanding the reality of her diminished prospects for anything longer than ONS

You know that your Taurus is a shitbox, but it's the shitbox that you've been driving for decades, and you're so attached to it that the thought of selling it so that someone else can drive it through the mud a few times and then scrap it for parts is just unthinkable for you.

Regardless of how it may work for others, that's why you can never demote your wife to plate status.

[–]anxiously_synonymous[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

and you're so attached to it that the thought of selling it so that someone else can drive it through the mud a few times and then scrap it for parts is just unthinkable for you.

This is exactly right. Thanks for putting it into words.

[–]madali06 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

That's a strange analogy. If I have a million in the bank, I would still be upset if someone stole a 1000 from me.

[–]umizumiz4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

And that 1000 is your fucking wife lmao

[–]anxiously_synonymous[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are not outcome independent. I'd be thankful for the lesson that only cost me a grand.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’d still fucking care. It’s still my car regardless.

You’re rationalizing a lot of shit. You do you. For me, cheating is an insta-divorce. There’s no recovery, no staying for the kids, no staying to make her feel better (wtf is this btw?).

I don’t understand how any self respecting man can tolerate a woman who cheats.

[–]umizumiz7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can totally dig it, but not staying married.....

If you wanna keep a close relationship with her and shit, I'm all for that. Co-parenting is important. I maintain the exact relationship with my ex-wife as I did when we were married, minus all commitment. So I still treat her the same, fuck her, etc. It really messes with her head, but I don't care.

But come on, OP. Divorce her cheating ass and YOU CAN STILL FUCK HER.

Which I think is his hangup, he's caught up with "never getting an LTR like her again" I think.

If you do this right, she isn't going anywhere. Her cheating ass will be the world's problem now. You'll be free to find a non cheating woman, and still fuck your ex wife when her boyfriend is at work and you're picking up your kids. Or in my scenario, when she comes to me to see our kids hahahaha

Do it, OP.

BURN THIS SHIT DOWN

GET FULL CUSTODY

ACT QUICKLY, QUIETLY, AND COLDLY.

[–]vileoat3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Except.. it's fictional Ferrari... You are trying to hard. You lack frame. Stfu and go to gym or something

[–]anxiously_synonymous[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I did. Yesterday. Today. And will again tomorrow. But thanks

[–]vileoat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, it's good. I meant even if you have top notch shape and appearance it's just like 49% of what you need. The biggest thing is frame. You should always be in control of your life to feel good. Not your family's, not your wife's. YOURS. And unfortunately you don't (yet?). If I were you I'd make my self bussy for a week or so. Wake up early and come home late. Do work and fun stuff like fencing or martial arts, watch a movie, meet new people. After that you can decide do you really need your wife in your life, what she brings to the table, what she's done and not done (we, redditors, still don't know did she cheated or not) and follow your gut. Eather way, you stay or go, make your papers ready for divorce. And remember, your kids will be your kids even if you break up with your wife.
Best of luck, man. And remember CHILL.

[–]mindplaybyneo6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get a copy of the USB, and then Lawyer up. Have respect to yourself. Thats all. Just don’t forget your responsibilities with the kids. It sucks. But its life.

[–]Rogue684866 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are rationalizing a bad situation

How do you feel about your wife choosing to bang Chad?

Guess what. There's more going on than what's on film.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy

I would be happy, there is no social cost to leave her, she cheated. You were wrong about her.

Your free, go live your life.

I wouldn't even bring up the USB or cheating at all. I would just ask for a divorce with "it's me not, you" blab blah whatever you have to say to make it easyer. "You will find someone else" etc.

You still have to coparent, shes not leaving your life.

Getting mad at a woman for being a woman is pointless.

[–]anxiously_synonymous[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Damn fine advice. Thank you!

[–]Chump_No_More2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is one of thoes juicy life experiences that dont come by that often. This one just sucks.

Yup. This education is priceless. It's going to cost you half your shit, but it's still worth it because, if you're the man of value that you say you are, you will make it back and never make this mistake again.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hang in there man. This is a shit sandwich. Hold your breath, get a glass of something acidic like organe juice and stuff it all down in one go. Get all the little bits of shit in there that fall out on the table.Stuff it all in and gag it down its over fast

Dont drink or try and dull it. Drink it all in. This is one of thoes juicy life experiences that dont come by that often. This one just sucks.

[–]Chump_No_More2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wisdom must be hard fought because you would not value it if there was no cost.

[–]hack3geRed Beret7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sometimes they don’t need a reason and it’s as simple as going to the refrigerator for a snack.

Now since that is out of way....

Fuck your are a giant faggot - you find proof that some dude is balls deep in your wife and she was screaming as he filled all of her holes and she squirmed in ecstasy and then she swallowed and you are concerned about her future prospects.

Are we fucking serious right now?

Divorce her ass - play nice so she doesn’t bend you over and go drown yourself in some 20 year old pussy. Welcome to the rest of your life....

[–]anxiously_synonymous[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Very tough to hear... but good advice nonetheless. Thanks

[–]The_LitzRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ok James Bond, you found evidence on a USB stick....what in the fuck does that even mean?

What is your end game with this woman? If your evidence is anything real why not lawyer up and divorce her?

No matter what you are telling us, this shit is eating at you and it will bug you even more so in the future.

In a sense I would call her out on it, but only if you have spoken to your lawyer first. You won't get a straight answer but you can come and entertain us here with her half truths.

[–]slappysq1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What are your lifts and BF%?

[–]RStonePT4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

demotions aren't a revenge thing. It's a choice to keep the family together and meet your needs elsewhere.

[–]anxiously_synonymous[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yes! This is the kind of advice I thought I'd get in the RP sphere.

I might be trying to have my cake and it eat too... but this definitely not a butt-hurt revenge thing. Just practical RP planning.

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes! This is the kind of advice I thought I'd get in the RP sphere.

It's all for free on the sidebar, all you had to do was make an effort to read it.

[–]greenland963 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

She is not the person you thought she was. Just remember that.

[–]PillUpAss2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is literally the best day of your adult life and you are ruining it by being a fag on MRP. If you are as far along as you say you are, why are you asking us what to do?

There is no right answer for you because you are not your own point of origin. You lack vision and frame. I’m willing to bet there are red flags everywhere in the relationship that you are too far in denial to see.

The problem isn’t her. Remember that. The relationship is over, divorce or not, and you are the cause. Address the holes in your game and frame before you do this shit to yourself all over again.

Also, did I mention this is the best day of your fucking life?? The clarity, my god - you should be thanking her.

[–]anxiously_synonymous[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

why are you asking us what to do?

Cause it came out of left field.

A buddy of mine got me to go to the gym with him consistently about 4 years ago. It changed everything. Went from dad-bod everyman to attractive in shape guy.

Took a long while to accept this new persona. But I have. That's why... this action by her, despite the disparity, is so jarring.

She even says stuff like "when are you going to leave me" etc. That's why I felt all warm and fuzzy that despite my new appearance I had been always faithful and envisioned long term with her.

So it could be a massive comfort test on her part.

But it just sucks watching the ship get blown apart by her selfish action.

[–]RingoLaBrea2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Something is missing in your assessment. It’s natural, but ego is not allowing you to recognize the reason for the branch swing, and that’s valuable data you need to target for ‘you.2’.

One of the strongest pillars here is owning up to a ‘It’s my fault’ position. Be honest in your search for that fault.

It’s certainly possible that your self-assessment is accurate. Confidence in your value may have lulled you into a false sense of security. Perhaps she isn’t trading up, just got a tingle from whatever attention she received, it played to her insecurity getting older. Clearly that need overrode any anxiety of losing you. Was there any semblance of dread in your relationship?

Adjust to what’s next. You’re going to feel like a cuck while truth remains hidden. You’ll feel a need to reveal that you know whats going on, don’t. Don’t let that emotion derail the long game. Gather enough evidence to circumvent denials, you don’t want to waste time in her hurricane of regret. That hurricane is the birth place of acrimonious divorces. Find a buddy to vent to. Decompress with him, it’ll relieve pressure as you keep things stable at home through the discovery period.

You want to get to a place where divorce isn’t on the table as punishment, but rather a logical reboot that will allow each to respectfully pursue their individual value. Be steadfast in your position: a boundary was crossed that there’s no return from. Keep it cordial for the kids. Aspire to that small % of divorces that are mediated and cordial.

Remain stoic. But heed the warning: best efforts to hold the reigns are subject to her emotional wreckage. It reminds me of that quote in ‘Lost Boys’:

“No two bloodsuckers go out the same way. Some yell and scream. Some go quietly. Some explode. Some implode. But all will try to take you with them.”

[–]An_Actual_Politician0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great quote and a phenomenal way to summarize how women will utilize the force of government to make you a wage slave to them.

[–]anxiously_synonymous[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is an amazing analysis. Thanks so much for the spot-on advice!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like your looking for a reason to go fuck younger women. If that's what you want fine, just be honest with yourself, and prepare for the fallout.

[–]Bishop_Pickerling1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can get the divorce process started immediately while you try to sort out the facts and make a final decision. But I'm still not completely clear on exactly what the photos show, so it seems like you ought to at least make an attempt to get the facts before making the final decision to break up your family.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The hamster is strong with this one....

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I like the whole Alpha play here.

Sadly you don’t have the Frame to make this work. Gawd I wish Cad were here for this one.

Any way looking forward to hearing how you slept with Mary Jane Rotten Crotch and fell in love with her.

[–]anxiously_synonymous[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, is cad still around?

u/redpillcad

[–]Tbonesupreme0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"She respects me and takes my lead"

But also, "She stayed overnight with a guy"

Which one is it, faggot? It can't be both.

[–]Praexology0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Can you... something something about your wife?"

I'm not even going to read the body of your post because you're being autistic.

Can you? Yes. Are you willing for your plate of a wife to break? If yes then do whatever you want. If no, then not. Why are people so gay.

Has anyone ever used hypergamy to prioritize Male sexuality even in a marriage? Probably.

Are you enough of a man to do it? Asking questions like that-probably not.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You sound like you don’t know what you’re doing. Having the element of surprise is fantastic. You are totally unprepared for divorce until you spend two hours with a divorce attorney and learn what you’re getting into.

My suggestion (after you talk w/ an attorney) is to spend 12mos straightening your finances, reducing debt, getting cash off the books, and getting her back to work in a real job. Might be a good time for you to get a car that you want and can have paid off quickly.

[–]BlackFire680 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you can demote her to irrelevance, and should

[–]Bedtimeshine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You confront her. You tell her that she’s needs to sign a postnup or you are filing for divorce and telling everyone, including your kids. Then you proceed to do whatever you want. Knowing full well that you never should have given the green light to this month long vacation. A married mother leaving for a month is ridiculous. And you need to know that her motivation for doing so had a lot more to do with the dick she was riding then the sick family member.

And if she busts her ass to make it right and earn back your trust and commitment before a younger, hotter woman does, then great.

[–]helaughsinhidden-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I suggest you "gamble" away your shared liquid assets at the casino. Blackjack table, large denominations. You'll probably "lose" everything.

[–]VtVet57-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Check the ego at the door fella and maybe you would not have this problem.

[–]johnn2015-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ok crazy idea but maybe talk to her and get the facts. You can gauge if she’s lying or being honest and move on from there with more facts.

[–]codehead740 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Talking is a Horrible idea. In this case talking equals rationalizing. You have facts on the USB.

I suggest you start moving money and talk to a lawyer. ASAP

Do NOT say anything.

Divorce is almost inevitable. Hell, she thinks you are already leaving her with all her insecure comments. How long before she talks to her friends and decides she needs to be free to find herself?

You have the opportunity to divorce on YOUR terms by initiating it and planning it out.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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