Been married for 17 years with three children. A few years ago my wife found some texts that she took out of context and thought I was cheating on her, when I was being sarcastic in the texts instead of what she thought was in the texts. I even had her call the women and she confirmed that nothing was going on. After that day she never brought it up again and things I thought were great for the next 5 years.
We didn't have a dead bedroom we had a great sex life, great parenting, she and I shared the cooking duties and all house duties we both contributed. I took care of the finances and we flourished in both our professions. I didn't know about PUA before we were married, and I did just fine with women. Even after we got married I had women constantly talking to me and making her jealous. I don't think I ever had a problem with game, I think I had enough naturally to get by.
I was admittedly for 17 years an angry guy, where I would let little things get to me and make me blow up. I never laid a hand on her, but I think it just wore her down.
Five weeks ago she asked me to go with her to the gym, and when we got there she laid all her feelings out. How she couldn't trust me ever since that day, and how she loves me, and because of my anger and getting fat and this trust issue she is confused on how she feels. She loves me, but not romantically. When her friends and family tell her to end it she says what a good dad I am, and how I am a good husband besides these things I mentioned above. She tells them she's not ready to make the decision to leave me, but because she equates love with sex we have only had sex twice which she initiated, had an orgasm followed by crying due to her feeling confused. Since the second time she won't go past kissing.
Since this all went down I have been lifting 6 days a week and in the five weeks lost 30#. I've cut my anger completely out, and I am working on not reacting to these things with anything but a calm response when she talks about the chance of us separating.
I found MRP a few days ago and learned I had already started 1&2 of dread and was already looking for hobbies etc to get into, so I was working on dread three before I even came to the subreddit on my own. Read the side bar and I'm working my way down the list of reading material starting with NMMNG.
What I read was a lot of people posting about married where their partners have not said they don't love them romantically before and I guess I just don't know what to do or what path to go down to work on building attraction again because she has said it herself if it came back she wouldn't be feeling like this at all and thinking about separating.
I'm wandering in the dark and wondering if it's even possible to get it back and how the hell to do it. I'm looking for some guidance from anyone who could pass some along. Thank you