If you are here you are looking for something as you are not happy in where you are at. That is okay. If you are starting out and haven't finished reading the texts do that first. Save this and come back later when you have a relation to what I am talking about.
For those that have embarked on their journey and have seen a shift in their paradigm and perspective you know the darkness that awaits. Your ideal life and what you want to become are turning out to be something you don't want. The mirror you are looking at has a big crack in it and you are questioning the journey before you even finish the first chapter. You will find the deeper places of yourself when you start looking inward vs outward. You will question how people view and what their perspective of your journey to evolve into something better, new, and true. You will go into places of yourself that you never want to go to figure who you are and in the long run it is truly what you think of yourself and not what other thinks of yourself. There will always be that balance of you vs. them but in the end it is always you vs. you, and you will need to be prepared for it.
When you open your eyes to the selfishness of those around you will realize that they don't fucking matter in the end. You CANNOT control their reaction to your action and you have no obligation in ensuring their happiness. This is what drives the treat others how you want to be treated and they MIGHT treat you that way. You do everything for your wife and she doesn't respond; that is on you. You control your actions and that is it. There is more in the texts on Action over Words and you will always need to remember that.
The darkest place you will ever be able to go is within yourself and you will need to go there. You will find your drive and your motivation to become something you know is greater than where you are. The main goal is to be better than the previous day in where you can grow and that happens everyday. There will be stumbles in the dark as always but you will find that light regardless of how dim and move towards it. You know you want to be better and therefore you need to be comfortable in the darkness and embrace it. Many that come here run back towards comfort of the BP and fail to evolve and will just delay the inevitable. The question you have to ask are you willing to go through the darkness to go the light? That is a question only you can answer.
TLDR: It fucking sucks, keep doing it.