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What do to do when a guy is competing for a girl your with? I was making out with this chick and I noticed another guy was trying to make moves on her but I knew if I got upset or fought it it wouldn’t do me any good so I kinda didn’t give a fuck and just played with her ass and kissed her.

Reddit View
August 12, 2019
131 upvotes

I just know getting jealous is a waste of energy. So I kinda just stood my ground grabbed her and I started talking to him casually.


Post Information
Title What do to do when a guy is competing for a girl your with? I was making out with this chick and I noticed another guy was trying to make moves on her but I knew if I got upset or fought it it wouldn’t do me any good so I kinda didn’t give a fuck and just played with her ass and kissed her.
Author rockyp32
Upvotes 131
Comments 96
Date 12 August 2019 09:58 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/248961
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/cpa9u5/what_do_to_do_when_a_guy_is_competing_for_a_girl/
Similar Posts
Comments

[–]mrpthrowa226 points227 points  (9 children) | Copy

Do not in anyway compete for her.

When I'm talking to girls, guys often come up and try to grab their attention. I just straight up introduce them to each other, "Megan, this is Phil, Phil this is Megan", and let them chit chat for a bit if they wanted to. This will also usually insert some anxiety in the girl "so, does he really not care about me? I've gotta get his attention back". Usually their discussion will just fizzle out and she'll come back for my attention which is a huge IOI. In the process I've asserted my of leadership over the group (by introducing people to each other), got some social proof by introducing people to each other, and got some social capital by breaking the ice between people.

[–]alittletoosmooth147 points148 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yup. That's how you do it. Was out and met two girls recently. We made our way over to the dance floor. Two guys were like creepily inching closer and it seemed like they were trying to "box me out" from the girls. Instead of grabbing the girls to try to "protect them", I forced the issue. I turned to the guys and said it loud enough so the girls can hear too.. "hey guys, you don't have to be scared, just go talk to them. They don't bite" and then I smiled at the girls. The guys lingered for a second or two and then disappeared. I guess they pussied out. The girls and I got a nice chuckle out of it too. Win/Win.

[–]uptimex29 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow, saved.

[–]PandaLitter16 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy

Couldn't this backfire if the dude is beyond your level?

[–]mrpthrowa39 points40 points  (1 child) | Copy

Well yes that’s how biology works. Alternative is to face off up to a fight but we don’t live in jungles anymore and girls are more abundant. Anything else will have you looking like a fool.

[–]throwawaytrpguy11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

agreed

I fight for fun and even I know that fighting for women is definitely the dumbest shit you could ever do

[–]Suryawong13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

If the dude was beyond your level, he wouldn’t be inching toward the girl and trying to box the guy out.

[–]rockyp32[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

That’s kinda what happened I just shook his hand and chatted him up but i wasn’t threatening or defensive I was just chilling with the girl with my arms around her waist

[–]mishasam892 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

"so, does he really not care about me?

please explain this..

I thought they wanted you to care, thats why they say "my boyfriend who beat the shit out of me did it because he cares about me - and i love him... ??

[–]mrpthrowa14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hmm you’ve got a lot of sidebar reading to do

[–]Irtotallynotrobot21 points22 points  (11 children) | Copy

You don't compete with people lower on the social ladder than you, you trip them up. Don't react immediately, wait to facilitate an opportunity for them to screw up

[–]rockyp32[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I don’t think it’s that complicated

[–]Irtotallynotrobot5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

It's not complicated. Just let them fuck up.

[–]rockyp32[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I guess I kinda did? How do you let them fuck up?? I walked up calmly joined the convo after my friend dragged me over cause he wanted me to take her from the dude lol. I was telling him it’s fine she can do what he wants but my friend was insisting so I decided to do it but in my own way. We just started chatting I put my arm around the girl casually and started talking to everyone and the dude that was hitting on her and I made steady eye contact but it wasn’t threatening or defensive just a very calm gaze which might’ve thrown him off I guess. I feel like that’s what matters there if I was aggressive and took her away that’d be me caring too much and being jealous but just letting her go without doing nothing after I came there to hookup with her would be dumb too. I think me being so calm is why it went well I wasn’t chilling there all tense or worried about him taking her I was jsut grabbin the girl cause I wanted too and having some conversation

[–]Irtotallynotrobot2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah that works, anything is better than getting aggressive. Most guys are going to a shitty job hitting on your girl. When they're in the middle of that you can always change the venue or grab her ass, signaling that you don't view them as an authority works great.

[–]rockyp32[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah like u gotta show u don’t see them as a threat or yeah authority there just there along with you that shouldn’t stop you from doing what you want

[–]Radkin009 1 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy

Fuck him to establish dominance

[–]Enlightened_Chimp 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Just be completely sure to say no homo after. I tried this strat once and forgot to say it and now me and him are both married with 3 beautiful children and a house in the suburbs.

[–]ignoremeghostboo8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

I laughed way too much at this

[–]MEATboiiii2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

What did it say?

[–]ignoremeghostboo27 points28 points  (2 children) | Copy

Fuck him to establish dominance

[–]shadowq84 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol

[–]Deathrow220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ahahahaha

[–]suqadiq42055 points56 points  (15 children) | Copy

Litteraly do nothing out of the ordinary. You’ll only sabotage what you have with that girl by reacting. Grabbing her ass in front of him is already an indication that you feel threatened. If he takes your girl he takes your girl, if he doesn’t he doesn’t there’s really nothing you can do about these things

[–]rockyp32[S] 13 points14 points  (6 children) | Copy

I get what your saying I agree me taking her away from him would be a sign of jealously or threatening but I felt just turning and walking away was just as bad. So i just had a middle ground. He was trying to make moves she was pushing away and so I kinda walked up again when I saw the opportunity and just put my arm around her casually and then I talked to the guy and I guess I kinda stared him down a bit but I wasn’t trying to scare him away I was just in a state of contentness with whatever happened so it was just like calm observing eye contact and he eventually went away. But yeah if he takes her he takes her but.. isn’t that a little billy beta ?

[–]1puck6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy

No, it's not beta to have a girl leave you because there will always be someone out their with a higher SMV in the context of the situation so anything is possible, remember it's just your turn. The beta thing would be if you reacted poorly like if someone took your girl and you tried chasing her or confronting him, or if the reason she left was because you were acting beta to begin with. But forget the whole alpha/beta shit. Just ask yourself this everytime you have a decision to make - how is this bringing value to my life . The answer is usually pretty obvious

Edit: however, if there's a guy pressing your woman and she clearly doesn't want to talk/is uncomfortable but is just kind of stuck and you still just sit there and don't take control of the situation and let him know to fuck off someway somehow, then that's definitely something that will make you look weak.

[–]Qba19941 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

If there is always someone with higher SMV then how do I keep the girl around? I can work on my body, mind, and game but the model looking guy always steals the girl?

[–]marcon12591 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. AWALT. Enjoy your turn while it lasts, and keep improving your SMV so it happens less

[–]rockyp32[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah my friends were pushing me to do exactly that they were like GO GET HER BRO GO GO GO and I’m like bruh it’s not that big of a deal she’s talking to a dude I’m not gonna be jealous and needy and steal her away. But I noticed he was making moves and she wasn’t very into it maybe cause I was there who knows I was kinda far away so idk. She’s not my girl just some chick. I am constantly reminding myself it’s just my turn. My initial emotional reaction I can feel but I always am aware of that and tell myself hey man yeah it would kinda suck if the girls hooking up with someone else but first off she’s not your girl and she’s her own person and I’m not dependent on her being mine to be happy. I felt I reacted good if I swooped in and stole her it wouldn’t of been a good move but also he might’ve gotten her if I just didn’t do nuffin. I’m probably putting too much energy into this but I’m new to this and trying my best to learn. Also I guess I kinda did what you said in your EDITED reply she was reciprocating and I wanted her so I just walked over calmly introduced myself and grabbed her. And chatted him up till he walked away. But also you know I wasn’t just staying with her id make out with her then go meet other people then come back again

[–]1puck0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

e but also he might’ve gotten her if I just didn’t do nuffin

If all it takes is 5 minutes without your presence for her to shack up with another guy then it sounds like a pretty terrible situation to get emotionally invested in.

Nothing wrong with putting energy into wanting to get the most out of life, but try to avoid letting your own hamster run wild. Put that energy into questions about yourself and what you could be doing to better your life regardless of anyone else. Being new to this it's probably going to happen anyway, just try your best to STFU internally and absorb. Someone trying to unplug and expecting to make sense of it all at the same time is like realizing your driver is drunk and going the wrong way so you just give them new directions that they cant read anyways.

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It wasn’t an LTR she’s leaving in a lot so o accepted that she wasn’t mine. I just noticed she was the least sluttiest and seemed to shoot everyone down except for me my friends just thought she might hookup with someone else but I have no idea. But yes I guess I am invested even it’s for the right reasons I probably let my hamster spin too much but I was just tryin to learn from it by sharing my field report. But yes I’m new to actually applying this this was talked the first girl I ever got from a club and it was on my first time at a club ever and she is sexxxy🙃. I see what ur saying are you saying don’t overthink shit? I don’t do any of this u til afterwards and I post it on here.

[–]DasHylen 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy

don't listen to this guy OP, Don't let it get as far as him taking her away.

You can shut him down WHILE he is making advances, saying shit like, dude fuck off.

or you can try and stare him down i guess, i know this is kinda iamverybadass but it can work.

never listen to dumbasses like this, "if he takes your girl he takes your girl" literally the most peakwest cuck behavior ever.

OP, Man the fuck up, if he isn't taking you seriously enough to fuck off, You need to change either how you look or behave. Never, EVER, back down.

[–]trele_morele20 points21 points  (4 children) | Copy

"Man up" :D

If a woman is attracted and loyal to you, she will tell the other guy off herself. If she doesn't, there's a reason, and fighting over her is stupid. At that point you start evaluating your other options.

[–]Despacit04 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

What kind of stupid advice is "Never, EVER, back down" and "Man the fuck up"? What're you gonna do if your staring down doesnt work? You gonna hit the guy for not fking off and start a violence? Bruh dont be an insecure little bitch, let the guy hit on your girl and leave them for a moment and she will realize that youre a better man than the new guy.

EDIT: Let the girl decide and think for herself. You dont own anyone dude. Just relax and don't display aggressive & insecure behaviors.

[–]zav255 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

You did good. Exactly as someone else said here, don't compete for girls. Just don't give a fuck, she'll notice this and wonder why you're not "fighting" for her. Most likely she'll assume you're high value, because you are, as long as you completely not care that someone else is hitting on her.

[–]rockyp32[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Thanks I felt like I did mostly the right thing.. unfortunately tho we got kicked out but we came back later cause they said they were partying all night. But when we got back my buddies told me they saw the girl I was with walking with some other guy they said it was 50-50 on what was going on. I’m glad I was i the bathroom cause it would’ve been weird to run into her after wasting my time to come back. It’d be embarrassing but you know I didn’t know what else to do and we left was that the right move????? I truly don’t know some people were saying hey bro she found another guy since u left and others were like bro just go for it! The thing is tho we had no idea what she was doing she might’ve been hooking up she might’ve just been talking to them like she was earlier

[–]zav25-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Simply forget about her man... Just a random girl, she's not worth so much of your time and mental energy thinking about her. You don't fight for girls, period, especially girls you've known for a short period of time.

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

True honestly I’m not upset if she did hookup all I care about is hooking up myself and having fun and we’re going to another party on Friday so we’ll see not worryin about

[–]failberry 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Is this a question a field report a brag wtf is this?

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sorry didn’t mean to make it seem like that maybe my subconscious did. I just wrote it too fast read the context for the real info

[–]EdvardMunch 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Im so confused. You were making out and another guy was tryna make moves on her?

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Sorry I wrote this kinda fast. I’ve been making out with her a bit,m and dancing , but at one point I walk away and when I come back some dude is really trying to make some moves. She’s not really into it idk if she knew I could see her or not.. anyways I just kinda walked up with my friend it felt a bit weird like I was being jealous by disrupting them but we did it very casually like we just joined the convo and I grabbed the gal chatted the guy up the he left

[–]EdvardMunch 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah that shit can be weird. I think the thing to remember is you are the prize, she will always have guys around interested but you want her fixed on you. So best thing to do is not care, act like you normally would.

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I felt I did pretty well we’d makeout then I’d jsut randomly walk away to meet the other cool people there then come back

[–]latinasonly3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

if you were already making out with a girl and some other dude walks up to hit on ur girl it shows extreme neediness and lack of social intellegence on his part. tell that idiot your sharing a private moment and it is very rude on his part to interrupt and that he should kindly fuck off

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

No it was well I was away cause I wasn’t super invested in the girl I’d makeout then go talk to and meet other people not sure if that’s bad or good on my part

[–]latinasonly0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

haha i think your move was cool , you should have told the dude ill show you how its done bro as you interrupted his attempt at talking to your girl.

nothing wrong with cutting the other dude off and showing dominance as long as the girl is readily accepting your redirection of her attention .

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I feel it I’m just not very cynical like that and honestly that seems more “beta” to me IMO just cause it’s like oh man I gotta exert my dominance in front of him and I’ll look soo cool!! That might’ve worked but it’s just unnecessary IMO I wasn’t gonna like just take her from him well he’s making a move I just walked up with a buddy chatted him up grabbed her close and kept it friendly I feel that works cause I wasn’t even treating him like s threat. With ur strategy I think it would seem like u are treating them like a threat

[–]latinasonly0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

whether the other dude is threat or not is in your mind, and demonstrated not so much by what it is you say or do but HOW you say it ( tone of voice etc. )

nothing wrong with exerting dominace when it aligns with your goals (making out with cute girls) thats what dominance is for. whats bad is asserting dominance to prove yourself.

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe in a different context like he was trying to grab and he gave her a hug cause they’re friends. But he tried more and she pulled away I guess that would’ve been pretty savage but idk man

[–]JRSBOOM132 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she don’t come to you then just move on. Plenty of pussy out there. Don’t get jealous she’ll definitely not like that or she’s the type of girl that does and that’s just gonna make you crazy.

[–]youcancallmedada2 points3 points  (10 children) | Copy

Nothing. Why would you even acknowledge some fucking loser? They’re not on your level. Don’t even make eye contact, unless he tries too hard, if he does then stare him down. He should look down and fuck off. Don’t make it seem like you’re threatened, but be threatening.

If he doesn’t leave, only then follow the advice given here.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

Idk why this is downvoted, if some guy is trying to make moves on your girl while you're making out with her, that's the epitome of beta.

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Sorry bad context it was not while we were making out it was after the fact and I was chatting up some other people and saw it

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Do you know for a fact he saw you making out with her?

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Idfk probs id make out talk to other people then find her again for a bit. I don’t think he really cares either way she was isolated so he tried to make some moves

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I mean, if I were you, I'd do what another guy ITT said and buy him a drink with a smile on your face. Shows your girl you ain't worried about another guy stealing her, projects confidence. Let him take his shot and laugh as he fails miserably.

[–]rockyp32[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pretty much what I did I treated him not as a threat cause I told myself to not care that much so I was genuine and friendly and talked to him like everyone else at the party. I guess he did kinda fail there cause he walked away after a bit. I agree with u I feel that’s the best strategy 👍🏼

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Or not even strategy should just come naturally if u have the right mindset

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Just make sure that when a situation like that arises, your LTR doesn't read your behavior towards him as "Please don't try for my girl, I'm a nice guy see I'm buying you drinks!!!!!!!!!" but "You ain't shit, take your shot."

[–]rockyp32[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think I avoided looking like the first one but I’m not quite sure I acted like the second one.i thought acting like that second one was bad? In my mind I just wear g even thinking of him as a threat so I think I did that mostly

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bad context on my part. We’ve been making out the whole night but I would walk away to meet other people and that’s when I noticed it happening so I just walked over. I’m not an asshole and I wasn’t gonna fight over a girl that’s not my gf so I was just casual and grabbed her and talked him up a bit. It would’ve been weird if I just completely ignored his presence

[–]theredsperg 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy

i didn't give a fuck, but then i came on asktrp to get advice from other people because i clearly gave a fuck.

learn to manage your neediness

[–]rockyp32[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I asked a question because I cared to learn what the right thing to do was I’m not ashamed of that. I’m saying my mentality was that I wouldn’t care if he takes her or not and I was curious if that was wrong

[–]linkinway4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

Actually she is supposed to be the one to not giving a fuck to that chad, else just move on. If she is doing this in front of you, she is just an attention seeking slut. She will have way way more chads when you are not around. Just bail out.

[–]rockyp32[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah thing is a lot of guys were approaching her and even when I wasn’t around she wasn’t reciprocating. Atleast from what I saw but who knows what happened after we got kicked out there’s a good chance some other dude might’ve gotten her but compared to all the other girls there she seemed pretty unslutty. I think she valued me a good bit but once I’m kicked out there’s nothing more we can do and she’s already drunk with like 5 dudes tryin to go after her. She seemed to be acting loyal to me but I know that probably doesn’t mean shit

[–]linkinway0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

She was your girlfriend or a pick up?

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Pickup

[–]theredsperg 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

the guy came here to get over his neediness, girls get approached all the fucking time and they have options.

[–]linkinway0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah but if she is giving them attention, take your hint and leave.

[–]SICFJC0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You should probably learn the difference between your and you're first.

[–]rockyp32[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t care that much man

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

If a good friend-keep going out with her until he begs you otherwise, then sigh and let her go, for him, because his friendship matters more to you. He'll owe you, a lot, and you can always approach other girls.

If random stranger-Ignore. Establish boundaries if he's making you uncomfortable. If she's giving him attention, leave.

[–]theredsperg 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Oh yeah ima just let my friend stick it in a girl i've been dating.

It's never as simple as that

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your name speaks for itself

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No just some random



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