I now see why spinning plates is the most desirable outcome but shit it feels lonely

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August 6, 2019
150 upvotes

Just got out of a 2 year ltr that I cheated on with 5 women. Despite her not suspecting a thing, she still tried to branch swing on me, and I just saw her on bumble today looking miserable. I feel like a piece of shit, but she didn't fulfill me. I slept with a dozen women once or twice since then. Still sucks and feels empty. I miss her making me dinner and falling asleep with her every night, but I don't miss the insecurities I had when I was with her, nor how bitchy she got towards the end.

I get why plates are a happy middle ground, but being an island is god damn lonely. I get that women can't fulfill you now. But what actually can? I'm 24 with an n count over 50, good job, good body, some hobbies, but no fulfillment.


Post Information
Title I now see why spinning plates is the most desirable outcome but shit it feels lonely
Author ThatOneDrunkUncle
Upvotes 150
Comments 148
Date 06 August 2019 03:31 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/249078
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/cmldjs/i_now_see_why_spinning_plates_is_the_most/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
branch swingingcheatinglong term relationshipplaten count
Comments

[–]SilenceIsGolden321 1 points [recovered]  (21 children) | Copy

The way I see it, either you screwed her over first by cheating or she screwed you You feel like a piece of shit because you have a conscience and you know you fucked up. Stop fueling the beast with more misery. If you want to mess around with women don't get into an LTR.

I don't know man, The Red Pill to me isn't about being amoral and fucking people over. Each person decides what to do with the information that's given to them. Your morality decides what you do with the RP.

[–]the13thmonk25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy

“I don't know man, The Red Pill to me isn't about being amoral and fucking people over. Each person decides what to do with the information that's given to them. Your morality decides what you do with the RP.”

Well said mate.

[–]KamikazeKokoro29 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy

This^

[–]ZealousFeet7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

You've cleared it up perfectly, in my opinion. I've been known to abuse the knowledge I've gained here. A line was blurred, but you've help me put into perspective that power is more about self-control than using it for malicious intent.

Thanks for this.

[–]BusterVadge13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

You're right, the Red Pill is not about being immoral. A measure of a man is how he wields his power.

[–]jvn05101 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

He who keeps his sword sheathed, will inherit the earth

[–]i-am-the-prize0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

JBP FTW

[–]Rimefang10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

RP doesn't mean be an asshole. You may be a man, but you still have a heart.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

You feel like a piece of shit because you have a conscience and you know you fucked up. Stop fueling the beast with more misery. If you want to mess around with women don't get into an LTR.

Blooper alert

[–]HumbleTrees-1 points0 points  (12 children) | Copy

Perfectly said. Enjoy the gold. Too many people here think it's about amoral shit. Chose the life you want, using objective truths as your basis rather than the bullshit you're fed. That's all the red pill is meant to be. Seeing shit for what it is. How you then act upon objective truths is your choice.

[–]SilenceIsGolden3210 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy

Thanks for the gold. All the best for you.

[–]HumbleTrees0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy

Why did u delete? Or did mods delete?

[–]SilenceIsGolden3211 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Probably the mods. Fuck their rules. Let's speak our mind.

[–]HumbleTrees-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Check the reply by fereallyred. Such a troubled sub if that's the mindset. I saw it worthy of gold for how good it was and they delete it. Wtf is this place devolving into. Silence the opposers....sounds a lot like a dictatorial state. Welcome to fucking North Korea. Hail your supreme leaders. Fucking hell.

[–]SilenceIsGolden3210 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's ok, man. The upvotes speak for themselves. They can't shut everyone up.

I read the "blooper alert" comment too. It was related to the first paragraph. When a hint of moral advice triggers you, you know shit is bad.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

If it says "removed", then it was the automod or a breathing mod.

If it says "deleted, then the user deleted.

His shit got removed. Follow the rules. Stay on target.

[–]HumbleTrees-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

He was exactly on point. You can't just delete opinions that are solid but slightly off of your opinions. That's one way to create a circlejerk. There was nothing in his comment that was against the rules. Probably just pissed off some overly sensitive mod.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

This isn't a debate sub. This isn't a moralizing sub. This isn't a soapbox.

Go check out the endless dying circlejerk that is purple pill to see soft mods and civility and moralizing and how it devolves into opposing op ed pieces.

I don't know what was deleted, but if a tagged member responds "blooper alert" then I can assume it wasn't red pill perspective, which is incontrovertibly against the rules.

There's a "message the moderators" on the sidebar if you think there's been an error.

This is not a democracy.

[–]HumbleTrees-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'm not sure if your current perspective will allow you to see this, but I hope to god you can see the problems in what you just wrote. If not, I hope with time you do.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm here because I've done the work, tested the curriculum from both the front end and the alternatives. I know there is validity. I know there are truisms here. I'm not here because I'm a waffling cunt looking for answers. I found them.

Real World results.

Isn't that what matters when you drill down?

I've played the game you're referencing. For years.

Don't disparage the solution unless you've put in the time.

You "fact checked" the tenets here in your very own lab?

Try step up a level or two.

You're surfactant.

[–]HumbleTrees-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm not sure you know what surfactant means. Don't use the big words unless you know how to mate, it waters down your point.

I'd offer a round of applause for your egotistic little monologue there, but in fresh out and I don't think we have the audience to back it.

I can see why this sub got banned. It's not a forum, it used to be an amazing resource but shit like this is troubling.

[–]Nikho9114 points115 points  (11 children) | Copy

You need to love yourself mate, trying to fill that gap with external achievements won’t solve the problem.

[–]I-am-ed26 points27 points  (9 children) | Copy

hey man, can you go in depth in the loving yourself part? how the fuck should i start

[–]SmartTimber15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

Do small things that make you loveable in your own opinion. If there is more reason for love its easier. Not talking about your insecureitys, you can love yourself with them too because really they are not a part of who you "really are" .

[–]the13thmonk6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Small and big things.

Make promises to yourself and keep them

Do things you’re proud of

Push towards being that person you’d respect

[–]VigilantSmartbomb7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Treat yourself like how you treat your most valued ideation of a person.

[–]m4t3110 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think helping others gives you a sense of fulfillment.

[–]MelodyMyst1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It can but you cannot make that your only identity.

[–]lugrulo4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Treat yourself like a best friend

[–]Nikho92 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Start by reading this book: The Power is Within You, by Louis L. Hay

(You can find it on Amazon)

It will help you understand yourself and gain so much self love.

[–]gsp95110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Behave like the people you love and admire.

[–]Looking_4_Stacys_mom2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I feel this too. I fuck for external validation all the time

[–]OrzhovPalatine55 points56 points  (4 children) | Copy

You need to find your purpose. One of the RPs tenants has always been the focus on self. You shouldnt rely on a woman for fulfillment. Find your own.

[–]uptimex12 points13 points  (3 children) | Copy

I agree with this one. Blue pill mentality includes using women to fill some empty hole in yourself. But RP is all about not having holes. OP can also have LTR again but another type of LTR, where he is Alfa.

[–]deathhandmachiavelli10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

REAL knowledge includes the inconvenient fact and realization that men naturally yearn for women.

[–]uptimex2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, surprisingly it is not clinginess or neediness. It is more about the desire. You yearn for women generally, not a specific one. If it doesn't happen you just pass to another one. It is the natural mindset of men I guess.

[–]PM_ME_SPONGEBOBMEMES3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

“Blue pill mentality includes using women to fill some empty hole in yourself. But RP is all about not having holes.”

very well put

[–]DirectChemical28 points29 points  (3 children) | Copy

Do you have platonic male friends? Bonds with other men is a must because they outlive romantic relationships. Being an island is an unnatural state for us, and friends help us hold frame over long periods of time.
Others have already passed judgement on the cheating; I would feel bad if I let down a partner in a contract as well.

Finally, women are easy. They indicate success. But you're not drinking with and fucking your own opinion of yourself. It's natural for healthy people to be lonely, but feeling unfulfilled means you're not living up to your own standards.

Recommendation: stay away from LTR for a year. Mushy romantic relationships are crutches that rearrange our priorities if we are not strong minded. A state of unfulfillment is like pain and likewise will push you towards fulfillment if you do not patch the wound with focus on a beautiful woman.

[–]proplfax4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

this has been my problem i think. not enough male bonds due to moving so goddamn much. but when i was in a bad spot, being with a friend always helped so much. i'm not sure it's a replacement for intimacy with a woman though. i don't buy the argument that you don't need that at all. probably depends on your upbringing.

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20021 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Excellent post!

[–]Distractingyou10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think next time have a girlfriend without the exclusivity part of it

[–]Wjourney2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Easier said than done!

[–]ScabbyAnkles22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

.

[–]MurkyArtichoke9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

The fact that OP seems to be fine about cheating on his LTR with five women, because he believes "trp is amoral", is everything wrong with some people's interpretation of this sub.

Sure, you can ignore the moral responsibility of being faithful to a partner, but it will make you a piece of shit in people's eyes, and it will most likely make you feel like a piece of shit, like you do now. If you are not able to handle the backlash of the consequence of cheating, then you obviously shouldn't have done it. Fuck all the women you want, but don't be in an LTR if that's what you desire. How is that so hard to understand?

[–]ThatOneDrunkUncle[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's a lot more to it than that. I don't really want or need to get into why I cheated, or why I didn't just break up with her. But the first time I broke up with her, she broke half the things in my apartment, tried to get a job in the country I moved to trying to get away from her, so while I loved her, I wanted out of the relationship and had to be very careful with how I did it.

I'm more just saying that slaying pussy isn't fulfilling, the LTR (which was pretty good other than her being codependent and smothering) wasn't

[–]Lyxeka81 points82 points  (11 children) | Copy

Cheating is a sign of a low value male that doesnt respect his own commitment to being exclusive. Work on yourself mate

[–]ThatOneDrunkUncle[S] 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're right I guess. I was exclusive for the first year, but since it was my first LTR, I just wanted to try it all. Legitimately, I'm pretty high value, but once I shed the BP, I just sought life experience. I depend on external value - which is what this post is about.

[–]the13thmonk7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

“I depend on external value”

Well there’s your issue with respecting yourself

It’s going to be very difficult (not possible) to take the right calculated risks if you don’t trust yourself, and if you’re deriving value externally.

[–]AntiSharp 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy

Care to explain how cheating is a sign of being low value?

[–]umizumiz8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Inability to keep one's word, lack of abundance leading to lies to "secure" an LTR(banging 10 chicks does not guarantee mental abundance), too weak to be able to turn down the LTR offer, etc.

To each his own. I've never cheated, but I've had relatively few LTR's.

[–]i-am-the-prize2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

because you

1) need the validation (I still gots it! she likes me!) not just a guy thing - when i was young (in my 20's) i fucked several older married women over the course of the decade. Common factor among all of them in retrospec, I validated them as still being hot in their own minds.

2) you feel like it couldn't happen often/when you want it, so you take up the ho' on her offer for a lay as the bar is closing, etc, breaking your commitment to your LTR

...easy for me to say, since i've never cheated. Plenty of opportunity, without being a douche, let's just say I get plenty of attention. So I'm internally proud of the fact that I've never cheated. My only mistake was telling my current LTR (wife) that fact. it's none of her business in a way, and hurts subtle dread creation.

So like the sheathed sword comment above (it's not a dick allegory) it's a translation of "the meek shall inherit the earth" where the meek aren't the weak, rather the strong who do NOT use their strength/weapon unnecessarily. And one of your strengths, if you're an RP man, is knowing you can get laid (without paying for it a la mgtow) with just a little bit of effort and initiative. Doesn't mean you go around slaying randomly when you're in an LTR.

[–]Wjourney4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

You are being dishonest and unfaithful. It leads to a bad reputation and you have to live with yourself which is the hardest part.

[–]MelodyMyst1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are your own harshest critic.

[–]Lyxeka1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Why dont you read my comment again

[–]AntiSharp 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

“Doesn’t respect his own commitment to being exclusive”

You wrote this as a separate idea. Being an asshole doesn’t make you low value. It’s a moral issue.

[–]Lyxeka0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Are you here to debate syntax?

It's a masculinity issue, not a moral one. Disrespecting his own commitment to exclusivity is a sign that a male is low value, end of story.

If you dont like your girlfriend anymore, dump her. Don't be a fucking pussy. Nobody made you commit to her, you chose to.

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20020 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe so.

But some people live by "an eye for an eye". So there's that, too.

[–]Theorymeltfool133 points34 points  (14 children) | Copy

I feel like a piece of shit

You are a piece of shit. You shouldn't be cheating on girls. If you want to spin plates, then don't be in a long-term relationship.

[–]ThatOneDrunkUncle[S] 7 points8 points  (11 children) | Copy

I thought trp was amoral

[–]ChefCremeFraiche 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

The strategy is a moral but when you cheat, it goes against you. I think you’re trying to find an avenue to justify cheating. When you have an LTR, you are giving your word that it is exclusive. Right now you are not a man of your word. That is not very “redpill” or alpha. Going behind someone’s back is a very non-alpha thing to do.

[–]carb0ncl1mber16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think the idea is sexual strategy is amoral. The strategies exist whether you believe them to be ethical or not. People here are still going to have opinions on what is right or wrong according to their own personal values.

[–]umizumiz4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

lol trp is words on a screen.

that's why it's Amoral, and not moral or IMmoral.

Is cheating immoral? That's for every man to decide for himself.

[–]sebbegerbert12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

Trp is amoral. But that doesn’t make any less of a peice of shit. You can do what you want.

[–]Big_Red_suppository8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

People use the amoral thing as an excuse a lot around here. "Well the internetz says its ok." Which is a strange way to operate.

The truth is probably that he needed exclusivity to lock down one girl and the rest were way below his normal batting average. I had a blast spinning plates and it took one of them a year to lock me down. You think I'm gonna cheat on that bitch? Not in a million years and it isnt like I dont get tempted.

[–]giggity23-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

What makes you say that?

[–]Elvis_Death-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

Judgement

[–]Lyxeka15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Rightfully so. The goal is to be up front with what you want, not mislead and then cheat when you're not getting it.

[–]Musicgoon16 points17 points  (7 children) | Copy

I'm going to recommend some weird shit here. As an older guy, once married, now deep into the Red Pill. I feel your disappointment. Spinning plates is fantastic, except for some of the domestic shit.

I recommend getting more into the BDSM lifestyle. Get a ourself one or two really good submissives. They can do domestic shit and submit to you and you just need to be a decisive figure in those Dynamics. It's a form of commitment that doesn't make you revert to a monogamous little bitch. It's not for everyone, but having a few babygirl's and subs is a fufilling thing. It's worth a shot.

[–]ScabbyAnkles10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

.

[–]J_Milton_Jr4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Now, you think you're going to find a 18-25 y.o. hot sub? Think again. Most are fat pigs who'll do anything for attention. Don't believe me? Join Fetlife and start perusing. The hot ones are primo and fought over endlessly, until they hit the wall, or get tired of playacting like they're submissive, get tired of being on call to some egomaniac Dom and forced to kneel for hours or eat out of dog dish or some bullshit.

i've always wondered how the people who are active in bdsm online communties look like.

I could never imagine that many attractive people are involved in such things (some, yes, but not many)

I always thought it's the same as with lesbians, the lesbians you find online in porn or on various sites almost never look like the lesbians i see in real life.

Very interesting comment, thanks :)

[–]screenmagnet0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The 24/7 master/slave types tend to be the least attractive.

There are some hot nurse subs active in the scene. They tend to be more into masochism as opposed to subservience, though.

Hot kinky people tend to steer clear of the hardcore BDSM scene.

[–]J_Milton_Jr0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

interesting

[–]Musicgoon-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Let me see if I can give further iteration on this idea. First off don't be a sperg. You will run into this all the time. Some jackass thinks he's a dom. The thought is all you do is find some damaged basket case with daddy issues and beat the shit out of her for fun right? Wrong.

Lets not act like daddy issues, mental illness, drug addled cock carousel whores are synonymous with BDSM. They are Everywhere. Now, you'll see a bunch or replies from every jackass around thats tried the lifestyle but doesnt understand it. You pick up shitty women? Thats because your vetting process blows goat! Thats a mans own fault that his followup is shit.

Women love a dominant man. AWALT. BDSM is a great setting to make a contract and set up rules for a new woman. Some guys will engage in some high level adult disneyesque faggotry. they will watch Fifty Shades and want to be like that. A good D/S relationship should be about you leading and the woman following. I BUILD my sub up. I push her boundaries, destroy her insecurity, and make her better, i let her explore her sexual urges and she pleases me. I steer the ship.

FetLife?? Are you fucking kidding me? How about I go to a NA meeting to vet a wife? No one puts a gun to your head and says ,"get involved with this tore up basket case of a woman". Fucking vet man...

Your best bet is to find a decent plate (not on fet life dumbasses) involve her in some power exchange. practice your dominance, fuck her good, lead every encounter. When shes ready you can collar her. Its like a marriage but without fucking yourself by the government.

Or you can go full retard and think that BDSM is all about floggers and nipple clamps. And become an abusive hollow piece if shit like the clueless dominant chumps out there.

Dont forget to lift Bro.

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20021 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Never looked at it that way, but it's definitely good advice! ;-)

[–]BusterVadge-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can vouch for this advice. Same situation here. Older guy, once married. I don't do monogamy anymore, and am into the BDSM lifestyle. I will usually have one sub at any given time, and it's great as they are more than happy to fulfill your needs. If not, then there is a neverending supply of them.

[–]ganz_allein12 points13 points  (10 children) | Copy

Wonder what u/FereallyRed thinks about it. He is as red as they come..

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed76 points77 points  (9 children) | Copy

Thanks for the lamp rub.

The fundamental problem here is that OP is looking to the external world to try repair a hole in his internal self.

You NEED to be comfortable in your own skin.

That's an absolute.

All the daily posts here about oneitus, hanging around in shitty relationships, agreeing to ridiculous demands from women, sad fucks being suicidal about not being able to get women, angst about getting shot down when approaching, fear about being not good enough/sexy enough/tall enough/pretty/enough, and general anxiety about life....

All secondary symptoms that stem from you not being comfortable in your own skin.

AKA an internal locus of control, being your own mental point of origin, and the essential concept of frame.

You get to determine your own frame, and indispensable to that concept is the associated idea of Amused Mastery".

Everything within your frame you need to have mastery over. Everything outside your frame is irrelevant and therefore is amusing at best.

You are a fucking island. Everybody is.

Everybody is alone.

So, again, you need to get ok with being alone. It's not "lonely", that word is a construct created by society so we'd "huddle up" and make more babies/ attach more/ pump oxytocin/create families that come to church and give more money/ because independent confident lone wolf alpha males are hard to subjudicate and integrate into the village.

So flip your viewpoint. Dig into why you feel the need to have a soft warm body next to yours as you fall asleep. Why do you need a girl to cook you food? You're attaching value to presence and transmuting that into something far greater. Why?

Get a cat if you need to cuddle something warm. Maybe she'll even bring you a dead bird every once in a while.

Fuck. Got me monologging.

Become all you need. Your own self sufficient little package, an independent slowly rotting meatsack hurtling through space.

Enjoy the gravy, but realize it's not necessary nor omnipresent.

You are enough.

Go watch the legendary Dick Proenneke for a master class in independence. Alone in the wilderness of Alaska by choice for years.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K1817 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. So much this

Most guys will just stare and think 'oh, but but HOW do you do that'?

I'm not sure every guy has the mental and emotional resiliency to go this route. So I grained is the illusionary need for approval, acceptance, attachment.

Somewhere inside is a voice that says 'I'm with someone, so I must be ok'. When you're not, you no longer feel ok.

Think about how sad and limiting that is. You're emotional state depends on the acceptance of another human. A human just as flawed and messed up as you.

Discipline, self belief, determination. To walk your own path is hard. It takes a lot of learning, struggle and dedication.

On the other side, is the greatest feeling a man can ever have. True independence. True self reliance. Takes challenging a lot of internal beliefs. Truth is you are, and always were ok. Never needed approval.

[–]Psycholephant11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP could benefit from this advice, but I doubt he or others reading this will truly understand what it means to be connected with oneself and how powerful it is. Reading about this shit is one thing, but actually internalizing it is another. This shit takes TIME. And it's frustrating because there's no really clear way to know how well you're doing. This advice is gold but it's important to know, its a lifelong task. I would even say it's the most important test in a man's life.

[–]sebbegerbert3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

The first book is a really good read also.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

FR just gave you some really good food for thought. Read that a few times.

[–]GandMeChattri3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I agree with what you said, but I don't think every man can be this way.

Some people want an ltr and want children as well.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

The vast majority of "men" are sheep. Pareto. The lower 80%.

It's SO easy to just allow society/culture to guide and determine your morals and ethics and values and opinions and well, everything about your life.

Otherwise you'd have to think for yourself and examine WHY you do shit that's frankly insane.

Got a car loan? Why? Think about that for a minute.

I don't write for them, as their minds are closed.

[–]ganz_allein1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for sharing your perspective u/FereallyRed. I probably need to read this a 100 times. I have known and experienced all of these words to be true at some point in my life. I was living the lifestyle at one point and felt complete by myself. But watching into the wild kinda fucked with my mindset where in the ending the protagonist perishes in the wilderness and writes - happiness is only real when shared. Past few months I have been in a silly relationship and that has totally fucked with my DGAF mindset and brought back my blue pill tendencies. Needless to say being a loser in this aspect bleeds into life’s other aspects as well. I visit the sub for inspiration everyday so as to fight the urge to swallow the blue pill. End rant.

[–]redpill_journey1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't you just sometimes feel like a girl you're seeing is fun to be around? She's improving your life because time with her is time well spent? Why wouldn't you want to commit to such a girl as long as it stays this way? Why wouldn't you want to wake up next to her as long as you enjoy doing it?

[–]I-am-ed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

just do you man

[–]sebbegerbert2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I feel you bro. Aldo think a lot of guys come to TRP to try and find the missing peice in life thinking ”if only a could slay some pussy”. Every man has to realise in his own time that you need to find peace within yourself.

[–]Hardwire62 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

good job, good body, some hobbies, but no fulfillment.

yeah seems like everything else is okay except for the fact that you are an asshole who cheats.

[–]ThatOneDrunkUncle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Cheated* I honestly think she knew but turned a blind eye to it. She alluded to it a few times. We were LDR and she told me to "have fun".

I now know it's an enormous rush sexually, but I agree it's scummy. I'm young and want to experience it all. Now I know better. I'm honestly glad I did. Nobody was hurt and I realize it's empty and nowhere near as worth a strong connection.

[–]Houston2NYC2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You sound like a d bag

[–]ThatOneDrunkUncle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Heard that once or twice before. I never was until I went RP. Probably just me trying too hard to be RP. I've definitely grown from it

[–]realAustinWitherow4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You have been and always will be ALONE.

Alone =/= lonliness.

Aloneness == being ALL ONE.

[–]yungplayz4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You didn't understand shit, mate. There is no general "most desirable outcome" that would apply to us all. You should be the one to define your life. There are no expectations you should live up to besides your own. You should choose the course of action and a life strategy that makes you happy.

That includes, if you don't want to spin plates, you don't have to. Here at TRP, we're telling you're not obliged to live up to general society's expectation. We're absolutely not telling you you should instead live up to ours. The only wishes, dreams, and expectations you should live up to are your own, that's the whole idea. That's what will bring you the fulfillment you're in such a dire need for.

[–]TrimHer3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

You’re citing your n-count as an indicator of happiness? What you’re doing is running around damaging people (women), which is part of why you feel like shit. Cheating on your woman also feels like shit, because it is a shitty thing to do.

N-counting is for (N)arcissists.

What would feel good is adding value to the world, your family, and friends, Stop chasing pussy. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

[–]ScabbyAnkles1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

.

[–]Blaze-Bless1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This was really insightful, cheers brother

[–]ThatOneDrunkUncle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I wouldn't say I'm a narcissist, but I definitely explored that route. My first relationship was with a full on narcissist and I used plays from her book in my subsequent relationships. I'm far more of an empath naturally, but I felt trampled on by women my whole life. TRP's glorification of dark triad didn't help. I'd say I've come full circle now and see the importance of self-love and giving to others

[–]overl9rd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If OP is actually a Narcissist then they are a broken human, that got broken during childhood. Jealousy, intense anger, exploitation of others, constant need for admiration and attention, to fill the void in them left by their primary caregiver. Therapy would be good for them

[–]Totsean1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Honestly, everyone is different. I had my girl living in with me for nearly 3 years and I still get to bang other chicks as I please, provided I don't brag about it. But then I decided it wasn't a great idea in general.

So, now I helped her move out and sort her stuff and she sleeps in her place and goes to work and stuff. I feel more connected with her now than before. And even though I can walk out anytime and have a good time, I prefer just doing stuff that matters, mostly work.

I am happy overall and I get to have the best of both worlds, a girl that can wait and is okay with my lifestyle and the freedom to live alone and invite company when I need it.

As others have said, you won't find validation in other people. Also, her attitude changed towards me. Now she is on her tippy toes :D

[–]ScabbyAnkles-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

.

[–]Totsean1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Err, are you trying to white-knight my girlfriend for 3 years? You sure you're in the right sub-reddit.

It's funny you assume my girl is a dumb fuck who doesn't know what she is into or she is an insecure girl that can't live without my validation... HAHAHAHA

I don't date weak girls, she is strong and smart and is perfectly capable of making her own decisions and she knows what she signed up for and we keep things open and honest.

Avoid assuming shit without actually asking for more information. I red pilled her from the start of the relationship. She knows the tactics and knows how women act and behave.

When I said tippy toes, I meant she is more reserved and actually makes more of effort to spent time versus just going with the flow.

I don't hold people by chains nor I use any dark triads etc. I am not a degenerate, but I am not a retard who is unaware of how women are.

So please no need to white knight my gf, she is perfectly capable of defending herself and walking out.

And she is not weak.

[–]ScabbyAnkles-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

.

[–]javascript_dev0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think you're interpreting his posts in the worst possible way. Is this being done intentionally?

[–]Totsean0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Now you're just trolling at this point. Are you seriously this daft? We're in trp where we spin plates.

I strongly suggest you read the guides since it seems you're blue pilled still. Their is no point in arguing with you since you come across as a whiteknight who got his panty twisted.

And if you're that man enough say that shit to my face and let's see if you can keep talking.

[–]black-cattle1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My kids are very fulfilling to me.

[–]umizumiz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Time to move on from chasing tail.

I did at around your age, spent 5 years or so just casually fucking women but ferociously doing my thang.

Now, I'm bored of that and back to chasing tail. It's a balance.

[–]asorals2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You can't change what you did, just focus on being a better man for the future.

I'd be working on myself and finding out what drives me. Find your purpose and women don't mean shit, they are just a by product of success.

[–]ThatOneDrunkUncle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you

[–]NoFaithInThisSub 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

That's why many (not all) take the God Pill. There is fulfillment outside yourself in a higher being.

[–]1942eugenicist-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well everyone loves fantasies because it's better. It's just not real and ignorance.

[–]1942eugenicist-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yikes, reading your post history you might have schizophrenia

[–]freemale1011 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Giving anyone 'advice' is usually fanciful; especially males. People will act according to their whims. Lets face it; having frame and maintaining it in a moment of surprise is hard. Males imo are at the mercy of the 'elements'--i.e sex power, their own stupidities, conscience, guilt, lust and impatience etc..

As they say 'shit happens' which means the damage is done before there's time to properly react. Just gotta hope you're not killed; seriously wonded, sick, or you've ended up in gaol. The ONLY dependable thing you can do now is realise the next package of pain is just around the corner--and they keep coming at you like slow rolling waves. So you've got to SHORE up your reserves (i.e plenty of money for a rainy day; escape routes; insurance; witnesses etc)...and let the good times roll.

[–]Dilduo2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

They are forever branch swinging my friend

[–]its-mystery1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The only thing keeping you from happiness is the belief that you are lonely.

[–]Fuktiga_mejmejs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Get your ass to the gym and suffer, push yourself past your pre perceived limits, nothing will fulfill you more trust me, it helps me a lot with inner peace.

[–]Fuktiga_mejmejs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You could try to get a FWB.

[–]iamdexter120 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

yes

[–]addwater0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hmm,

It's fine if you have self esteem imo,

But if you're chasing them for validation you're fucked

[–]lord_ah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I want to be you...

[–]Stupyyy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are lonely cause you live your life seeking outside validation. You need to grow as a person cause you are too small minded. No offence.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This may seem like a simplistic, single line thrown out there, but it may be all the advice you need for now: Get a dog.

[–]cluelessguitarist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Looks like your hobbies are not that appealing, try new things, dont look for fullfilmint in women but in things you really love to do.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You act like your only options are "safe" women who are bitchy and unfulfilling and plates you don't feel attached to, and then complain you are lonely.

[–]lbrownlbandit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Now use all the hobbies and talents to talk to people. Use the conversations (about anything at all, the more random the better) to build yourself and your thought process. While you do that try and find ways to use what you've learned to build something. Something that a single person cant do on his own. A business, charity, a house... anything. As long as it involves more people than just yourself.

[–]ReddJive0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You're learning that sex is easy.

Next consider why you are seeking that level of validation that you want a woman to do all those tasks for you.

Lastly. You aren't living in plentitude. Friends. Plates. Social life other than girls. You've focused your mission on gaming.

[–]ThatOneDrunkUncle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So true, thank you

[–]hatefulreason0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

maybe if you dreaded her she wouldn't have tried to branch swing and you wouldn't have developed those insecurities

[–]ThatOneDrunkUncle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think I overloaded the dread and she felt like she had to catch up actually. She started dreading me, which caused the insecurities. I think my behaviour rubbes off on her

[–]TheHumbleAfrican0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

To be fulfilled you have to be virtuous and do good to others. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't be red pilled. Understand women, and know how to deal with them and as a man, protect yourself. Spin plates, do what you have to do; but your purpose, your mission in life, your goals, have to come first. That is when you will start to get fulfilled.

Being redpilled isn't an end, its a means to an end.

[–]1kick60 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Where are your bros in all of this?

[–]ThatOneDrunkUncle[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I see them infrequently because I had to move back in with my parents recently and have to commute to work 2 hours a day each way... or They're in LTRs that seriously restrict their time.

[–]1kick60 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well, shit. Yea, that's fucking lonely. But don't out that on bitches. You gotta fix sort out your living situation.

[–]BatsNightmares0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Most of your time you'll be alone. You came to this world alone, you'll leave this world behind alone.

[–]frootloopzs 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Karma

[–]1942eugenicist1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It doesn't exist

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just got out of a 2 year ltr that I cheated on with 5 women. Despite her not suspecting a thing, she still tried to branch swing on me, and I just saw her on bumble today looking miserable. I feel like a piece of shit,

Don't feel bad. That situation and relationship was clearly not suitable for you and didn't work for you. You have every right to get out of bad situations, and indeed she was the one who branch swung. Sexual strategy is amoral: women don't feel any pang of guilt, responsibility or care for the men they dump, and you shouldn't either.

I get that women can't fulfill you now. But what actually can? I'm 24 with an n count over 50, good job, good body, some hobbies, but no fulfillment.

First know that the fulfillment of being in a LTR is illusory. It's a temporary thing, for as long as the woman decides it lasts. Then it's over and you're out on your ass. That's not fulfillment, that's delusion.

So you have lost the illusion of fulfillment, but you haven't actually lost anything substantial.

As regards what else fulfills you: that's for you to decide.

[–]Ravenscar70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I also remember feeling this. I had girl round at my flat who had stayed over. I left her there to go on a date with another girl who I ended up fucking. Then came home to fuck the other girl and I was expecting to feel fulfillment but I didn't really feel anything.

From then I stopped caring how many girls I've fucked and I stopped making women a high priority in my life.

They're not fucking worth it anyway.

[–]architectintx 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

You young guys need to stop posting on this forum till you reach your mid 30s. Try to calibrate where you are w.r.t other men on this forum and tailor your posts accordingly. Your write up tells me that you haven't soaked in an ounce of TRP wisdom.

[–]ThatOneDrunkUncle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Children with dynamite I suppose, but I think I had to experience everything I did. Reading is one thing, but seeing it all play out is another

[–]Senior Contributoradam-l-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

There is a one-word answer to loneliness: friends.

[–]deathhandmachiavelli-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I had 3 girlfriends at once at one point.

They weren't really just plates. They all saw me as their boyfriend.

I felt bad about it because the second two were good girls.

I like relationships with great women and usually fall into that after a couple of months of spinning plates.

That is what I do with red pill knowledge.

[–]Andgelyo-4 points-3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’m currently in a relationship myself, and man it is so fucking hard not to cheat. I haven’t been in a relationship in years, and now that I’m in one it’s almost like I don’t know how to act. Everything has been going great, she cooks me meals, she lets me come over and fuck when I want, she’s obedient. The problem? She’s black, and I just don’t find myself marrying a black girl in the future. She is more like just somebody to hang out with when I’m bored, because I was tired of chasing hoes. I will probably break things off with her, or branch swing if I find a better, more attractive, girl. I’m 29, with an n count of 19 only. The way I view it is long term relationships are like jobs, you stay with a job until you find a better more suitable one. So for now, she is only good for the time being. I definitely see where you are coming from though.

[–]J_Milton_Jr6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

The right thing to do would be leaving her and giving her the chance to find someone who truly values her



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