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Wife Sending Selfies to Orbiter / Chad

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August 19, 2019
30 upvotes

Been RP aware for 4 years. Throwaway account. Successfully moved from boring no blowjob no orgasm often DB sex life to handling my wife in a dominating way in bed. I get the blowjobs I want, really even better than I wanted because I can now face fuck her and she gags a bit and looks up smiling saying I gagged and then right back at it hard. Can now fuck her and look at her deeping in the eyes and tell her to come like the hot little bitch she is and she rolls her eyes back in her head and lets go. I could not do that Pre MRP and had a double chin so badly that people look at my ID today which is still current but pics are from 5 years ago and are surprised (at how much of a pussy I was).

Me - 43 years old 5'10" 185 lbs. Wife 40, in good shape, attractive. Children - 3 under the age 10 and under. SL 5x5 all in pounds Squat 280, BP 180, Row 190, OHP 150, DL 300 (DL is 1x5). I am currently making significant gains in SL 5x5. BF between 13-15%.

I have owned my shit - recently decided I needed to begin a year long endeavour in investing in myself to get a complimentary set of learning that will propel me in my career - ideally creating startup, less ideally working as a consultant in my field, worst fallback would be working for private enterprise. FO completely did not support, despite my efforts for her to understand the value of my mission. Investment will be significant, payback is not guaranteed, and hey my apporoach is fuck it I'm going all in on myself. This is not a knee jerk reaction, rather a calculated long thought out decision. It became and is my mission, FO did not support. I've also been busy during the past two family vacations, which I believe is a mistake, but required for me to continue forward with this plan. During these times my FO brings me food and keeps me going while at work.

But... she got bored.

Chronological order doesn't really matter. Bottom is wife, beginning late spring began sending selfies to an older man ~54, just about to retire. I know for a fact they were kitten eyes pictures of her in a Bikini, in dresses, and for sure at least one set of tit shots. This went on all summer, even when we went on family vacation she'd be up to.

A week ago today when I found out about this let her know I was in a bad place and needed to talk. I sat her down, and let her know that I knew. I made it clear to her that I think that at her very core, she is a good person. I made it clear too, that I am not going to tell anyone about this. I made it clear her story is not new, and that I am not here to judge. I needed her to know that she is not a bad person in my eyes, couldn't say it of course I'd be talking about fight club, but AWALT. I knew saying all of this that this happened on my watch. I also said this knowing full well there is a very strong possibility I've only scratched the surface of her infidelity.

After setting the stage where I was at with respect to her, and how I thought about her in a positive way (because I do), I then let her know that regardless of whether she is a good person or not, her behaviour is now affecting my quality of life in a negative way, and that I can do none other than act in my best interest. I repeated I'm not here to judge, and left the house for a few hours.

Later that evening I then told her I wanted the wedding ring a gave her (almost 20 years ago). She gave it to me, I put it in my pocket, and the next morning she had taken it out of my pocket and put in her jewelry case. That same morning I said where is it, and then locked it away in my gun case. She came to me before I left for work asking about "how this will look to other people". I told her that wasn't my problem. I also set her phone number to "blocked". It still is.

Looking at the guys's online profile - he is soft. No lifting, no sports, his main picture of himself is him with a gay white curly haired dog. Doesn't mean he didn't find a way to get her going. He did. The selfies she was sending him are not turtleneck type pictures.

I still have kids with her. This is still my ship. I've made not commitments to leave or to stay. Sexual energy towards me has been predictably very high this past week, and before I figured out what (at the very least) what was up through the summer, it has been the most satisfying of my life between the two of us.

She also offered idea of me sleeping woman, but "just once". I believe her offer to sleep with other women was to help fix the guilt of her own indiscretion. It could also be the "I'll share a high value man if given no other choice." I like the second but the first is more likelly.

What I'm trying to cut through here, is what kind of a pussy am I? I'm struggling with this quesiton, but when I finally answer it I think I have my way foreward.

Am I a cuck, or a little faggot who cant' handle my good looking wife's orbitors? If the answer is cuck... I can't live with her anymore. I need to act in my own self interest. If I allowed her to become so bored, that is on me. In this case I am thinking to push the hell out of her boundaries to get the absolute best sex life I can acheive with her, and where needed, to activate plates (yes I have options) and then decide.

I'm not making any rash decisions and she knows this. This is an otherwise high value woman whom I am forever linked to, and who is very eager to please me at the moment. She also has since changed her tune about my learning endeavour, and wants to understand how she can support me on it.

I must say this has been a monumental test of my frame, which without the learnings from the sidebar and this community, I would never have been able to hold.

I've not shed a tear, nor will I. AWALT.


Post Information
Title Wife Sending Selfies to Orbiter / Chad
Author Veleo256
Upvotes 30
Comments 120
Date 19 August 2019 05:39 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/249677
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/cskgdx/wife_sending_selfies_to_orbiter_chad/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
AWALTChadcuckframeorbiterplatelift
Comments

[–]RStonePT[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (3 children) | Copy

I thought guys lied about being to for 2 years before describing 0 understanding of anything?

[–]DeepReindeer48 points49 points  (8 children) | Copy

You sat your wife down and told her that she's not a bad person, you aren't going to judge, and you think of her in a positive way? After learning what you learned about her actions? That's foreign to me and probably sounded weird AF to her. What does she need to do to get you angry?

You're a bit of a cuck. If she is banging other dudes, and it seems to me like she is, then you are 100% a cuck. The definition isn't up for interpretation.

You took her wedding ring away? What's the point in that?

Look, she probably just likes to have sex with other guys. You're cool with that, right?

[–]Veleo256[S] 7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy

You took her wedding ring away? What's the point in that?

I wanted it back. I didn't want it to be on her finger. I actually dont' care what the point is, I can't stand it being on her finger with the relationship as it is.

Every woman would like to have sex with other guys. If she does need to be able to do that I am not cool with that.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"64 points65 points 2 (5 children) | Copy

So (1) your old wife fucks around on you, (2) you catch her, (3) you tell her how good she is, (4) you tell her twice, and her response is to (5) express concern over how splitting would look while (6) telling you to fuck another woman, at the same time she (7) displays clear and evident disregard for (a) your sexuality, (b) your masculinity, and most of all, (c) your integrity... (8) all for an even older, pasty, no-lifting, 54-year-old-dude.

You're not a cuck.

You are a weak, spineless coward.

Imagine this scenario instead:

  1. Dumbass old wife fucks around with even dumber-ass old dick.
  2. Notice and download all her (gag) evidence of indiscretion.
  3. Sit her down and say "I'm divorcing your ass, old woman, enjoy this dumbass old dude and his dumbass dog because fucking-around on me is a hard no-no and a real-live boundary that I will maintain so as to continue looking in the mirror and respecting that dude looking back."
  4. Share all this handed-to-you-like-a-gift-from-god-himself evidence of fucking around with the kickass legal team you already had in place.
  5. Ride off into the sunset like a man, not like a groveling little girl, knowing full-well that your future will be even more fun, and your integrity and self-respect will continue, strong, and unabated.

Of course you can't do that, because she's so special. And she's a good person, too. Like really good.

You're whipped and weak and afraid of life without her - little boy - and you didn't need to poll a bunch of retards to know that's the hard truth.

[–]Veleo256[S] 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

You may be right.

[–]hack3geRed Beret6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

I love the guys that come here and do this - hey look guys I’m learning I can fog you.

The issue with it is that you still have your ego protecting you from the truth and nothing will change until you can drop it.

[–]Veleo256[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're whipped and weak and afraid of life without her

This is an assersion I am truely contemplating. Is that better? I didn't post here for validation or to prove anything to anyone.

[–]peaceandlug0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The Sun may be hot.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I like this option.

[–]go-RED-go16 points17 points  (12 children) | Copy

If she fucked him, then you are a cuck, yes. Answer for that is divorce.

If she just sent him pictures, for emotional/sexual thrills and attention, he is an orbiter and you are a guy who didn't call her out on that, didn't set boundaries and punishment.

I dont know why the fuck you did the "not a bad person speech". She probably interpreted that as "I can cheat on him (again) in the future and he wont do shit about it".

Either way, you are in a bad spot.

Can you be 100% sure if they fucked or not? Probably no.

The question is , if not divorce, what boundaries are you going to set to her? What is your next move?

[–]Veleo256[S] 2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy

My next move which I moved on last evening was to share my plan with her on for divorce WRT financials which included how to avoid losing half of what we currently own and then splitting up what was left into a quarter for each of us. Accomplish this by medeation instead of lawyer. Child separation details - 50/50. Need to be amacable because we are inextricably linked - no shit talking to anyone about anything. We can still fuck if she wants. She can have the ring that was a complete pussy move on my part. Location for where we live should be in close proximity to where we are now so that kids don't have upheaval. I then sat there looking at her and let it sink in in silence. After a moment I asked what she thought of it. She said she did not want that at all. I let it sink in for a bit more.

Then I turned the page over. And I laid out a plan as to how we can move forward. We are going with that currently.

She may well have fucked this guy. I don't know for sure, but reality is for me its neither here nor there. What went on is a show stopper for me. I realize I failed on providing emotion. I realize I have a paper frame I need to turn into iron.

I'm going to continue working on me and my mission, which is my physical, learning endeavour, family, real esate, and work. It may be larping, but I'll say it anyway. She can join it all if she wants.

[–]hack3geRed Beret7 points8 points  (8 children) | Copy

Oh she fucked him for sure - funny thing is if you put in the work in two years you are going to wonder why you wasted your time.

[–]Veleo256[S] -1 points0 points  (7 children) | Copy

I'm wasting my time because of kids. I realize that if it means my self respect I'll have to cut and run.

[–]hack3geRed Beret3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

It’s already cost you your self respect - you just don’t know it yet.

[–]Veleo256[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

You sound like you are speaking from experience. Care to elaborate?

[–]hack3geRed Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

A high value RP man would have walked away immediately plain and simple.

My wife wants to get off on some geriatrics wrinkly balls there’s only one RP response - next. You haven’t swallowed shit except likely some old dudes cum after you kissed your wife. The vase is broken and even if you put it together it will always be cracked.

My point is that if you do the work then 2 years from now you will realize how low value your women is and how little self respect you had for yourself so much so that every part of you will need to walk away.

[–]Veleo256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Appreciate the feedback. I am keenly awared of this as a strong likelihood (no fog).

Reality is right now I need t re-calibrate, and do what is best for me.

Right now that means staying.

I’ve made my decision and I’m moving forward.

[–]umizumiz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, you've already taught her to hide the evidence better AND you won't do shit if she gets caught again.

[–]MakeTheToughChoice1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Kids grow up fine in 2 separate, stable and happy household than a fucked up one. Also, no kinds wants to look up to a dad who has no self respect for himself.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Only you can decide what's best for you...I just don't see how you can lay divorce on the table, then turn the page and offer her "a way to move forward." There's nothing wrong with YOUR decision to work with her, but you clearly have no frame to see this through. At best you've bought yourself time to get your shit together, at worst, you've given her notice that she should lawyer up and divorce rape you.

[–]Veleo256[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m not in a position to be divorce raped - I appreciate the word of caution though.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (6 children) | Copy

“This is the second my wife cheated and I want to hamster staying but I’m totally 100% RP” posts this week.

You do whatever you want but for me (and most guys in here) cheating is an instant divorce. It’s unforgivable and if you stay, what boundaries exactly could you ever enforce? Don’t sleep with... too many men? Don’t get an STD?

You don’t have to go scorched Earth but you need to burn down the marriage. It’s over.

[–]Veleo256[S] 5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

I am not saying I'm anything. The last guy who posted told about how awesome he was. I'm telling you where I am in my journey, and finding it tough to wage a way forward.

I'm not here to protect my ego.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

I can't answer what YOU want to do. What do YOU want? I can tell you what I would do.

I know 100% what the course would be if she was cheating / even sending pics is cheating in my book. I'd be seeing a lawyer, gathering evidence, drawing up papers, and when all the legal shit was in place - drop the papers on her.

You'll be fine, kids will be fine. You may go for awhile without pussy, or not if your SMV is high - but it doesn't fucking matter. It should be (in my opinion) an unforgivable offense.

Make sure you make copies of the pictures you found.

Where is your line? Did she cross it? If she did, what are YOU going to do about it?

[–]Veleo256[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Lawyers don't give a shit in this jusisdiction about what happened. She could have had the train run her by an entire sports team while they all took turns laughing about what i pussy cuk I am, and posted to PornHub. It wouldn't mean shit here bud.

[–]jacksarmy3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Did you check pornhub to see if she's there? They have a cuckold section

[–]Veleo256[S] -2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

No jack but let me know if you see her bud. Thanks for the harsh post.

[–]MakeTheToughChoice2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I saw her man. She said your little willy is never going to be enough for her and then the current guy ducking her came inside of her.

She then said she wasn't on birth control but if she got pregnant, she will just blame it on you.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret26 points27 points  (9 children) | Copy

If I allowed her to become so bored, that is on me.

This does not excuse your wife's emotional affair, but ...

Yes, life and sex with you is BORING, because Good sex requires Emotion, and you suck at it. You're a typical imbalanced lover as discussed in SGM with lots of D but little E, which is likely the most important.

You're a tough-talking, insecure faggot who masks and represses his emotions behind an inauthentic "alpha frame" but who comes across to others as an emotionally stunted robot incapable of making an emotional connection or of Expressing your Emotions Like A Man, leaving your wife so starved for emotion in both your relationship and sex that even a fat old faggot is more attractive than you.

You're so disconnected from your own emotions that you have to ask anonymous faggots on the internet what you (should) feel. We can't answer that for you.

You have taken the path of LARPing "alpha" while masking your insecurities, ego, and emotions behind a false frame. To progress, you need to kill your ego and begin the really hard work of fixing these things. It's time to become a true alpha, not just a poor imitation of one.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Strong reply. Best concise synopsis of things I've read in a while. Nice work.

[–]IRunYourRiver0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is an amazing reply. I'm still in awe of the vets who can reach back and synthesize old posts like this.

[–]Veleo256[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's time to become a true alpha, not just a poor imitation of one.

You are likely right here.

I am doing my best to live life on my terms. I am making sure I grow as a person physcically, carreer wise, and finnacially. I've all those going for me fine.

One thing I've noticed here, is I've posted here knowing I'd get torn into, seeking to get holes punched in my frame. I realize there is LARPING going on.

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Many times I sense a little J10 in your posts - they aren’t quite as verbose but they hit at the heart of the matter and are able to deconstruct things to their rawest form.

You and I don’t always see eye to eye as I tend to the more hardcore red spectrum but I always take something of value from your comments.

Your time is much appreciated here and many posters don’t recognize the gift you give them.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Many times I sense a little J10 in your posts - they aren’t quite as verbose but they hit at the heart of the matter and are able to deconstruct things to their rawest form.

That's high praise - Thank you!

You and I don’t always see eye to eye as I tend to the more hardcore red spectrum

Having never had a utopian BP worldview, or a dead-bedroom/affair-discovery or other come-to-Jesus moment of crisis as have so many "hardcore reds", sometimes I wonder whether only those who have experienced rock-bottom can truly be hardcore red.

And sometimes I wonder whether the "hardcore" types are still so wounded or traumatized that they're stuck partway in an incomplete BP to RP transition or have masked a still-blue core with an overcompensating hard-red shell.

Then often I think we're all just overgeneralizing from our own unique, necessarily anecdotal experience.

but I always take something of value from your comments.

In any event, I think that a different perspective can sometimes be helpful, to the thoughtful and ready.

[–]hack3geRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck you for getting right to the heart of the matter again.

All we have at the end of the day is our own experiences as a lens to view the red pill in the context of our world.

I’d like to think that I’m not just masquerading a hard red shell over a soft squishy blue core but it’s entirely possible it’s purely a self-constructed protection mechanism.

[–]depressedfuckboi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good shit bro

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red20 points21 points  (14 children) | Copy

Am I a cuck, or a little faggot who cant' handle my good looking wife's orbitors?

Mandy did this early on in our relationship when we were fresh. I shut it down immediately. She responded positively, and it never happened again. It was about setting firm boundaries.

You didnt set shit however. You talked to her like a faggot.

Women do this kind of shit because they are not getting the proper attention from their man, likely cause he is a faggot. In my case it was un-training bad behaviors from her previous men.

I never really bothered me because I knew she was a short tem woman I just wanted to anal train and pee on. I have since dumped her.

Had Mandy pulled this later in the relationship, she would have been dropped immediately. I have a zero tolerance policy for that kinda stuff.

But you are not me, and I am not you. I can load Bumble on Monday and be balls deep in a new chick by Friday if I want.

Bottom line, while on vacation with you, she is texting other men seeking validation. If you caught her with one, there is at least a possibility of others.

We also do not know if your wife is a Social Media whore, which if she is, tells me a bigger problem exists.

You are fucking small and weak. You are the same size as me and I have 50# on you. I could OHP you easily.

Taking her ring is a faggot move. Everything in this post was done from a position of weakness.

You do not have the anal dexterity to get fucked in the ass in divorce court like I did.

My advice? Rub her feet, buy her flowers and fuck off.

[–]RPeed1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

bumble

What did you do for photos this time around?

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Eat your heart out.

https://imgur.com/a/ibFoQF3

[–]IncitingDramah4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

First date is a coffee date.

Love it.

[–]Veleo256[S] -1 points0 points  (10 children) | Copy

We also do not know if your wife is a Social Media whore,

she is not.

Thank you for your feedback on being small and weak - working on it.

Can you elaborate on the ring a little more. I need to understand why it is faggot move. I did not want the bitch to wear it, it's as simple as that. She has fucked with me at my very core.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill12 points13 points  (3 children) | Copy

Can you elaborate on the ring a little more. I need to understand why it is faggot move.

There's a couple of things going on here. One, you played your hand. You were emotional and you responded emotionally. Your intent, whether you realize it or not, was to call your wife out and hurt her for what she did. You wanted to make her suffer. "See I took my ring away!!!"

Frankly, you should have disguised your intentions and never let her know what you planned to do. An integrated male shows his intentions through his actions. You sat her down and had the talk instead.

If I were in the same situation my wife would never see it coming, because ultimately everything can be used as leverage. It's a major boundary violation engaging in the kind of flirting your wife did. It's one thing if you start dating an Instagram whore and she does this, and quite different if your wife and mother to your kids does it out of the blue.

The damage is done. You either live with it or you don't. It's a simple decision. You may have been a poor captain up to the point she did it, but she was the one who proceeded beyond the brink. There's no such thing as accidental-dick. This is a water-level mistake that could eventually lead to the sinking of the ship. This is not a minor issue.

"Yeah, that was unacceptable and I don't think I can proceed with you being my wife"

or

"What you did was unacceptable and here are the consequences and how you need to rebuild the lost trust"

There is no, "You're a good person who fucked up, I failed in leading" here.

I suspect you're conflicted because you know what the right answer but are angry she's forcing your hand on it.

What do you ultimately want? She stays, she goes, that's up to you. It can all be turned around and made to work either way. But ask yourself, why does it make you angry to the point you want to hurt her when if you were just dating it would be an easy next?

[–]Veleo256[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

"Yeah, that was unacceptable and I don't think I can proceed with you being my wife"

or

"What you did was unacceptable and here are the consequences and how you need to rebuild the lost trust"

There is no, "You're a good person who fucked up, I failed in leading" here.

I suspect you're conflicted because you know what the right answer but are angry she's forcing your hand on it.

What do you ultimately want? She stays, she goes, that's up to you. It can all be turned around and made to work either way. But ask yourself, why does it make you angry to the point you want to hurt her when if you were just dating it would be an easy next?

I ultimately want a woman I can push boundaries with, who looks to me for direction, who feels safe and secure in my care, and who supports my life goals.

I'm not convinced my taking the ring was to hurt her. At least when I think about it it doesn't seem to be my intension. I've got to think about that.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I wanted to take a little time and get back to this.

I ultimately want a woman I can push boundaries with, who looks to me for direction, who feels safe and secure in my care, and who supports my life goals.

There are 7 billion people in the world. That woman is out there. Why do you think it could be your wife? More importantly, why is your wife the best option and investment. Why is your wife not a sunk cost fallacy?

I'm not convinced my taking the ring was to hurt her. At least when I think about it it doesn't seem to be my intension. I've got to think about that.

Whether it was to hurt her or send a message, it was definitely intended to send some message.

There's a great scene in Mad Men where one man tells Don Draper he feels sorry for Don. Don's answer is "I don't even think about you"

If you didn't have any feelings on it you would be indifferent. So if you're not indifferent, what are you? If you really wanted to punish her you could have given her divorce papers and told her, "It's up to you stop this. Here are the actions you need to achieve." Seems to me taking your ring back screams, "I'm taking my toys and going somewhere else!" My daughter does that when she wants you to chase her and tell her, "No please honey, I want to play with you and your toys!" You were being petty and emotional. The question is why?

In the end, this is your thing. You get to live it not me. There are good decisions with bad information and bad decisions with good information and then there are good decisions with good information. You need to find the final situation.

[–]Veleo256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think it could be my wife because she has shown me improvements over the past 4 years. Investment / option wise, she conistantly shows (otherwise to the obvious) value to me as FO. In all aspects I have asked for. Even the funding of my school she pulled from personal investments a large sum of money.

My wife may well be the ultimate sunk cost fallacy for me. I am well aware of this and it is front and center on my mind.

I did not give her divorse papers. I sat her down and painted how divorce will happen. It is a written out plan which details financial, familial, and sexual terms. 50/50 with arbitrations instead of lawyers, 50/50 regarding child custody, and sexually I'd be willing to keep fucking her. I let it sink in for a bit. Then I flipped the page over and laid out a plan to go forward. Expectations from me, expecations from her. Then I flipped back over to the separation plan. Told I want either of these. What does she want.

Why was I petty and emotional? Lack of abundance. If I was where I would need to be I could have communciated all of this without a word. I have ALOT of work to do on this.

I won't find a final solution any time soon. I'm taking it day to day. Lifting is helping alot.

[–]Rogue684868 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

It was a controlling beta move. Remove your own ring. You dont own the ring. You gave it to her. Indian giver.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

How dare you assume I wore a ring to begin with!

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

Because that ring doesnt mean anything in reality. All it does is tell guys like me, how a big of a pussy a womans man is. Bigger the ring? Bigger the faggot in most cases.

I seriously cant make this shit up....

Fuck, I know you wont believe me, but IDGAF.

I went to Starbucks this morning and had coffee with my guy group. I watch a very good looking woman walk in. We make heavy eye contact. I have not fucked since June 23 after all...

She had a ring on, I literally saw it, because I look for that shit.

She sat down one chair over from me to my left at the elevated two-sided bar. I was in gym clothes fixing to head to the gym.

The next time I looked at her, the ring was off....

100% gone. Why do you think?

Every single time I fucked Shelly, she wore her wedding ring.

Why do you think?

Women wear rings because they believe it helps with male pre-selection.

It doesn't.

Look. When I dropped the bomb on my wife, I did the same fucking thing. I took that ring away from her. That was a symbol of my love, sacrifice and our marriage. I was pissed.

I was also a faggot.

I am the realest motherfucker you will met on here.

Dont make the same mistakes I did.

[–]Veleo256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well I may already have, but I appreciate the insite.

[–]ArborioRice1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You took a toy away from a child as punishment; meanwhile the child is still sitting next to a full toybox reaching in for the next toy to play with.

You're so confused and retarded with the whole situation you punished yourself more so than her with locking up the ring. For all of your wailing and gnashing of teeth over the symbolism of the ring(restricted to your own head, mind you) she's over there worried about her image to her social circle.

She sends here tits to some old fart, so you tell her she's a good person and take away a piece of jewelry she treats as a signal for her status. You can't see the complete incongruity between it all?

[–]Veleo256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You can't see the complete incongruity between it all?

I do.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret16 points17 points  (26 children) | Copy

A cuck is a man who knows his wife cheated or has and does nothing about it.

What you do is up to you. If you keep her recognize exactly what she thinks of you and your "marriage". In other words she's a plate that raises your kids.

Second you talk too much. The only red pill awareness you had was seeing it there on the table. You seem to have a grasp of things but it took this to jolt get it in you. Yes if she made that offer this isn't the first time she's cheated and it has been physical.

You probably realize where you fucked up. The only other thing I want to point out is things seemed like she was all on right? All the signs were there at least all that you told us.

Which is why looking for flags. Good or bad aren't really important. It's about your boundaries. Your self respect.

So go ahead and make your choice and stay with her for "the kids". Just one question....

What's the price of your self respect?

[–]Veleo256[S] 0 points1 point  (25 children) | Copy

Red I can't fucking tell you that man. It's what I'm struggling with. I can't figure out if I'm a cuck or an insecure man who can't handel a wife getting bored and seeking vailidation.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret13 points14 points  (12 children) | Copy

I can't figure out if I'm a cuck

Our survey said...

Cuck

You say you are RP “aware for 4 years. That doesn’t mean shit if you don’t do the work to build abundance and frame. You are a cuck because of your scarcity mentality.

You told her you don’t think she’s a bad person? What in the holy fuck are you trying to accomplish. She fucked some crusty old dude for starters. This would be the easiest hard next of my life... instant next.

Heres the problem : You Don’t know how to feel about it because you are hiding from your thoughts about it. Put a pen to paper and figure out why you would even consider staying with this whore

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"4 points5 points  (11 children) | Copy

Today's a banner day for many an "RP-aware" faggot.

As far as I can tell, RP-aware seems to be worse than RP-unaware, practically speaking.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret5 points6 points  (9 children) | Copy

It's a way of softening the blow. Like saying I've been red pilled for x years or months. They think it'll make it easier and we will bro hug them

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy

Good insight.

I find it revolting.

Such proclamations seem to equate to "I've been RP-aware and you can thus expect me to lie a lot, especially to myself."

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy

I've been RP-aware and you can thus expect me to lie a lot, especially to myself."

Especially about being RP aware- whatever the fuck that means. From what I can gather, I’m pretty sure it means I heard about TRP 4 yrs ago and have done absolutely no work

[–]Veleo256[S] -4 points-3 points  (5 children) | Copy

I heard about TRP 4 yrs ago and have done absolutely no work

Shut the fuck up Bobby. You have no idea what work I've put in. May have been ineffective, I may have been larping, but it's been work none the less.

We were all little bitches at one point or another, and many of us may still be. That's why we are here.

[–]hack3geRed Beret6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Faggot you still are a little bitch - if you have been larping you literally haven’t done shit. Read the post on dancing monkey attraction - it’s exactly what you have been doing.

Sure you may have been lifting and aren’t a fat dough boy but your lifts straight up are trash for 4 years worth of work. Also I had a 6 pack and my wife wouldn’t fuck me and was looking to branch swing - frame is 90% of attraction and you clearly have none.

You still give far too many fucks about your little cheating, cock sucking princess who clearly loves old wrinkly balls more than yours.

You know deep down you haven’t done shit and your ego is protecting you from making over the hump and making real progress. Drop your ego or in 4 years you will be in the same spot your are now.

[–]Veleo256[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just re read this it’s a powerful message.

[–]Veleo256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Got it. I want over the hump.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Easy there Scrooge McCuck. You came here and posted, now take your licks.

[–]Veleo256[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That is a great name. Scrooge McCuck. Fuck.

[–]Veleo256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"I've been RP-aware and you can thus expect me to lie a lot, especially to myself."

I'm listening to this.

[–]Veleo256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As far as I can tell, RP-aware seems to be worse than RP-unaware, practically speaking.

I dissagree but not here for a pissing match.

[–]tspitsatgp8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s about what you will and won’t accept. Boundaries.

The problem you have now is that your wife has disrespected you. You know she did it, she knows she did it.

You can say to her “THIS IS A HARD BOUNDARY, DON’T DO IT AGAIN” but the reality is that it was already a hard boundary (unless you have an open marriage) and she did it anyway.

So what you are really saying is “I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DO THIS AGAIN THEN I AM KICKING YOU OUT”.

But will you? Or will you make up another excuse? And will she believe you or will she think she did it once and got away with it... why not again. After all, last time she did it she got a better an improved beta.

Speaking from personal experience FYI. Making the exit 18 months later as I actually can’t live with this knowledge. It is not congruent.

[–]FoxShitNasty837 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Honestly if I was you, she would be out on her arse right now. Even I would get angry... you should have seen this coming. At bare minimum show controlled anger.

[–]Veleo256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have shown controlled anger once. I have not fallen appart in front of her with tears or "how could you" bullshit.

[–]RStonePT2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Keep focusing on your identity and you'll forget to improve your lot in life or salvage your dignity.

This is textbook unhealthy narcissism and you're going to continue to fuck up till you get rid of it

[–]Veleo256[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Keep focusing on your identity and you'll forget to improve your lot in life or salvage your dignity.

This is textbook unhealthy narcissism and you're going to continue to fuck up till you get rid of it

Can you elaborate on what you mean by "your lot in life or salvage your dignity"? I think focusing on my identity is core getting what I want out of life.

[–]RStonePT2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

You're wasting your time figuring out if you're a cuck or a chad. You didn't put any thought into what you're looking to accomplish.

this is a standard narcissistic fantasy. build an archetype and then fight to keep it. It's your ego fuckign with you

[–]Veleo256[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

How do I move past this.

[–]RStonePT2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

same way everyone does.

observe, orient, decide, act.

OWS weekly, field reports, sidebar reading, get a coach if you want more discretion, scour through the stuff here for content that speaks to your problems.

Honestly, what exactly do you think everyone does here?

[–]Veleo256[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It’s what I’ve been up to. I’ll continue. Despite the feedback saying I’m still a pussy, and how little I’ve absorbed, the help this sub has lent me in my personal development as a man has been huge.

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ignore tone and focus on content

[–]Eminencemiddle0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Try "both".

[–]Veleo256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck. Me.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's not really my thing to shit on people just for the sake of shitting on them. I say that to say this:

Am I a cuck

Your wife cheated, and you responded by telling her repeatedly how you don't think she's a bad person and that you aren't there to judge her. That kind of narrows it down.

She also offered idea of me sleeping woman

I believe her offer to sleep with other women was to help fix the guilt of her own indiscretion. It could also be the "I'll share a high value man if given no other choice."

It was neither. It was "my pussy husband won't do this anyway, but I'll make the offer he'll be sure to decline to make it look like I actually feel bad about what I've done."

She's still talking to the guy. She's still sending him nudes. She's probably fucking him. I'd bet a significant amount of money that she told him about your little talk you gave her (you're not a bad person, blah blah) and laughed about it.

You need to wake up and stop with the false narrative (ie: hamstering) about her giving a shit about you for anything other than you financing her life.

She also has since changed her tune about my learning endeavour, and wants to understand how she can support me on it.

I can't imagine why she would start in on this now. See above.

I need to act in my own self interest.

In this case I am thinking to push the hell out of her boundaries to get the absolute best sex life I can acheive with her

This is not in your self-interest, but I'm not sure if you understand that.

Look man, bottom line, it sucks to find out that your wife was cheating, and I get that. However, your hamster is running wild trying to craft a narrative where you decide it's okay to stay with her, and that's not acceptable.

[–]Veleo256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you.

[–]6TimesDown7TimesUp7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

You’re asking the wrong questions.

Instead of asking US “am I a cuck/can’t handle orbiters” you need to ask YOURSELF; “am I a man who is okay with my wife having sex with other men while we are married” or “am I not”.

Pick one and commit. Fully and totally 100%.

Whichever you prefer is “you do you”, but pick one and commit.

[–]helaughsinhidden6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly, you should have read the sidebar books and posted in OYS a long time ago.
My 21 year old son and my brother are "red pill aware" too, but don't believe the gospel or follow the teachings of the prophets. Huge difference man. You created this problem, probably killed her attraction for you by the "death by 1000 cuts" variety because of your half-assed approach.

You should NOT tell her how you know what you know.
You know less now than before. Her actions only create more questions and your actions are plain obvious. You are butt hurt, still have her on a pedestal, want her to beg for the ring back, are willing to forgive and forget, and the worst part is that SHE KNOWS IT AND WILL TIGHTEN UP OPSEC. From now on, you keep your sources of info hidden and your evidence for a court of law. For all she knows, Harry Potter's owl flew in the window and told you this stuff, any attempt to gauge the damage, control the story, and spin. Stay or go, this is the way to go.

I'm not a fan of divorce, but not a fan at all of infidelity.
Again, you blew it by letting her know what you know. Sorry to bang this drum again, but do you ever wonder why cops pull you over and say "Do you know why I pulled you over today?". It's to get you to confess other crap that they don't already know, you've lost that card. I'd want to find out her plans if I were you. Is she going to file on you, but you caught her first? Are they gonna run off together? Just a hook-up with a 53 year old wealthy beta (not a "Chad" ffs)? How long, how many, and how involved? A lot of guys in here are willing to burn the relationship to the ground, but as I indicated above, we all know you aren't outcome independent yet. Bad news, women have flings with Chad ****OR**** monkey branch to richer Beta providers. You caught her reaching for a higher branch. Divorce in the western culture is a no-fault thing pretty much. She can be the laziest bitch, biggest whore, and fuck up your whole life AND THEN divorce YOU and take half your stuff. Start to protect assets immediately.

She also offered idea of me sleeping woman, but "just once"

She's not in any place to be making "offers" if you are going to overlook her transgression because she's such a "good person". If you stray, that's not her say. HOWEVER, this never "fixes" the relationship, it just makes you both feel a bit better momentarily. Just this week, I heard of another acquaintance IRL that went from the wife texting a married friend, to them hooking up, then getting caught, flipping it into a "let's all swing" thing for a couple of months, then they announced Friday both are getting divorced any way. Well, I guess at least he got to screw her best friend a couple times as the consolation prize for getting 4th place in the Sexual Special Olympics. Don't fall for it. You know what's better for creating dread than fucking some rando? A post-nuptual agreement.

You know what's a better consolation prize that a one-off with a rando?
How about an post-nuptial agreement where you get A LOT more than a judge would dare give you. Her reaction is all you need to see to know what happened. If she gets extremely pissed and indignant, she was just buying time, marriage is and was over, she might already have a lawyer, could be collecting dirt on you. Will it work? No probably not, but neither will a her plan. If she agrees to it AND signs it, well now you got at least a better bargaining chip when the divorce monster finally comes for your assets. Allen Iverson signed one of these by the way, agreed to give up all of his remaining $32M if caught cheating again. Oh, he still did it, then immediately lost EVERYTHING in the divorce court. Out of pity, she gave him a portion back anyway, but I NEVER saw her cross up Michael Jordan to earn it.

[–]hibloodstevia7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'd say find a new GF and move her in.

[–]creating_my_life11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

So much wrong with this.

You're using sexual success as your measure of success--continuing to place you deeply in her frame. You've missed one important MRP lesson: Success with women IS A RESULT of success with yourself. You're still ticking external boxes (career! fit! blowjobs!)

You've likely also failed at comfort. Your wife is alone, without an oak. Without someone she can trust. You've been so busy being alpha, you forgot that MRP is about the blend of alpha and beta. It's passing both shit-tests AND comfort tests.

You likely met your wife when you were a fat beta chump. That's the deal she thought she got. Now that game has changed for her, and she doesn't like it. She'd rather simply leech of a dutiful beta. It's good work if you can get it.

Your wife also knows you won't leave her. The rest are just words trying to convince yourself you're alpha. But, ultimately, the one, single, only fundamental tool in the man's arsenal is the ability to leave. Your wife is just testing boundaries to see how true this is. She knows this more than you. She's not even conscious about it.

The real question for you is, how long have you been unauthentic? When did you stop giving your wife tingles? Would she say you're fun to be around and flirty? (hint: no, she finds it stressful to be around you.)

You say this is a test of your frame. I say you have no frame at all. Take a step back and evaluate yourself. Are you living your life for you? You've obviously read a lot of RP, but it seems you're missing the fundamental authenticity about being a solid man.

[–]Veleo256[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm having a tough time follwing you TBH. Also you are making assumptions about me being a fat beta chump when we met. And you are making assumtions about how she feels when she is around me which you don't actaully know about.

Don't get me wrong here man I'm here in askMRP because I need a sounding board and I appreciate your effort.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're choking on the god damn pill, either swallow the fucking thing or spit it out and go back to living in your fairytale world.

Go on... Swallow it already!!!

[–]KoolAidMan798011 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

I wrote this the other day to another guy who had a very similar problem that you have now. It seems like there have been a few posts recently with men finding out their LTRs/wives are cheating on them:

Your marriage is over. Whether its because you were a drunk captain or your wife cheated for no reason, it doesnt matter. Youll probably never know the why. People do things all the time that destroy their lives. You cant help her anymore. All the talk of her being a good wife and being respectful just makes you look weak, like you want to excuse her actions.

Like many others advised, speak to a lawyer immediately. No one on here can predict how divorce will pan out in the courts. Maybe you catch a break and walk away with a good settlement. Maybe she tries to rake you over the coals. Too many variables to predict that outcome. But if youre truly been sticking to the reading, lifting, and have been growing your career and wealth then you have a good base to rebuild.

For your children the road for them is going to be hard. They are going to be hurt and theres nothing you can do to shelter them from the pain that their mother’s actions are going to cause them. They are collateral damage in all this. But in this case doing whats best for you and divorcing is going to be whats best for them in the long run. They will see and eventually figure out what happened to your marriage and who played the part in the downfall.

I could throw out a bunch of cliches and quotes that get tossed around here like STFU and own your shit but it all boils down to the fact that being a man with self respect and living your life by a code is hard. Its hard to show strength when youve just been betrayed by the one you are married to. But what is it they say about the hardest steel being forged in the hottest fires? Good luck.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

We should just make a stickied generic "My wife/LTR/girlfriend cheated on me" thread and put in your comment.

[–]Veleo256[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is hard to read brother.

[–]Glennus6265 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Cuck alert. You played your hand about knowing too early, and now you have now exit strategy.

She was probably setting up a branch swing, because youre talking about taking an expensive educational gamble. I guarantee that soft guy with the dog is better off than you are, and thats what got her to show him her titties.

The fact that you set her down and basically gave her a pass while groveling means you no longer have the element of surprise on the divorce, and shes going to get her older, better off beta to take her in and have your kids call him daddy. But hey, youve got prospects...

[–]dilberryhoundog5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

What are you trying to “punish” her for? It won’t work. She is behaving exactly how any other women would, given the circumstances.

Men’s currency is attention. Kids, Dogs, Women, your friends, your Career, your Body, your Staff etc etc, all thrive off it. Removing attention (walk, don’t talk or STFU) is the only way to “punish” a woman. Now look what mess you’ve got yourself into. You haven’t given her any attention, you have zero moves available, you have no say in her life.

Raising your SMV (as per Red Pill) only serves to give your attention more value per unit. You have to apply your attention for you to see red pill gainz. 10 seconds of attention from a rock/movie star with SMV off the charts, will trump months of attention from an orbiting chump, as an example.

This is obviously why the shriveled up old dude, gets to fuck your woman. because the amount of attention he supplies combined with his perceived SMV is more than you give her.

Divorce or Not doesn’t really matter. You have no bullets left in your gun.

[–]Veleo256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you for this.

[–]thatboyjeff4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

She’s a good person “deep down” huh? I bet that’s what that 54 year old said to her when he was balls deep in her asshole.

WTF is your problem, cuck?

[–]Veleo256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good question man.

[–]Rogue684863 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

MMSL has a chapter I believe on this. Has to cut contact. Etc.

What's up with the you're not bad, I'm taking your wedding ring? Incongruent and passive aggressive controlling.

Be congruent. Read that chapter.

Titty pics? Hes not an orbiter. Hes a "special friend" mr fat chad

[–]theunconquored2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You don’t have boundaries, which means you don’t have frame.

If my wife pulled this shit, she wouldn’t know I knew. She wouldn’t have a chance to explain herself. Who cares if she’s a good person. She’s actively expressing interest in another man, which is past my boundaries.

She’d get a text from me that I’m going camping for a couple days with no explanation. Then I’d come home with divorce papers completed and signed by me with little sign here stickies for her autographs.

[–]MrTrizzles5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’ll cut to the chase.

Women are naturally monogamous. When she is in thrall to you other men may as well be invisible. Not all women, but pretty much all. The way they love consumes them, they can’t split it between multiple men.

Sounds like she’s lost that, yes even if she still throats you.

You gotta ask yourself, is that the kind of relationship you want, with a women who isn’t drunk on your existence?

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Please edit your post to get rid of that faggot phrase “RP aware” and substitute “faggot BetaBucks”. You are a clueless drunk captain that couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag and would be embarrassing to explain to people that you have such a low mastery even though you’ve been “aware” for 4yrs.

I can’t say you made the wrong decision by nuking your marriage, but you don’t express any command of what to do or how to find frame. So now you’ve nuked your marriage to an otherwise attractive and reasonably valuable woman that you ignored and excluded from major life decisions AND YET you are a complete rookie thats at the beginning of RP.

You’re totally on point about her offering to “let you” screw other women. My Ex has me distracted for quite a few years with regular threesomes with young single (in most cases) girls we picked up in upscale lounges. Don’t let that happen to you.

[–]Redpillbrigade170 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That sucks. But as you say, AWALT. So you should not be surprised.

Your options:

  1. Ignore, move on, business as usual. That seems naive at best.

  2. Drop expectations of fidelity from both you guys. Start using condoms, make sure you understand who she’s fooling around with. Basically open the marriage up. That’s what it is anyway, from her part. Why should it not be from yours too? Be open about it all, talk it over- it’s exactly how she acts, so call it out. See what it does for you. Not everyone can handle that. Do it all to stay a couple for the benefits of raising the kids, but that only works if the two of you are ok with that dynamic. And you’re able to create a healthy, nurturing home for the kids together, despite your marriage being open.

  3. Say screw it and divorce. Deal with implications of two homes on the kids, protect your financial and custody interests ASAP. Get a lawyer ASAP, to at least consult on the plan.

Good luck.

[–]Veleo256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't think I can do the open thing. I think it is delaying the innevitable, which I may already be engaging in anyway.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You lack frame, mission, abundance, and a whole host of other essentials, but especially boundaries

At some point, you have to act without words when dealing with an RP lens, which you apparently are looking through about 1% of the way.

First step. STFU

I honestly cannot read your entire post due to the inconsistencies in your assessment of RP aware for 4 years then you contradict with all of your verbal diarrhea.

How in the fuck can you be in a “bad place” and you still respect her when she is sending selfies ?

Are you still wearing your ring ?

You need to stfu, lift and re-read the sidebar.

[–]Veleo256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How in the fuck can you be in a “bad place” and you still respect her when she is sending selfies ?

Are you still wearing your ring ?

I can't answer the first question.

No I am not wearing my ring.

[–]Bedtimeshine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Anything besides filing for divorce and wishing her luck with the new guy and forcing her to do major work and make major changes to earn you back is a weak waste of time. Your not a cuck because she did this, your a cuck for how you handled it. And I would have already taken her up on her offer to fuck other women and I wouldn’t hide it... although she probably wouldn’t know because she would not be in my house right now. And I would have told both our family and close friends that I filed for divorce and the reason why. Consequences before reconciliation, always.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Married women send me photos all the time. As do single women. Women aged 20 to 48. Why? Because I ask them to. And they do - all sorts of filth. I give them the instructions and they follow them. They send me photos, videos, used knickers, sometimes even presents.

Quite often I get them to come to me and fuck me. I never travel to fuck. They come to me. And I fuck them in every which way possible and do all sorts of filthy things with them. I make them mine and fuck every hole I want when I want.

Your wife is one of those women. Not one that I fucked personally - as far as I know - but she is one of them. She will do all sorts of depraved shit with someone else, but not with you.

Why is that?

Why are you OK with that?

And even more importantly, what are you going to do about it?

[–]Veleo256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm still deliberating on that bud but thank you for the perspective it is apprecieated.

[–]peaceandlug0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So eager to please you that she's sending tits shots to other men. Lucky you!

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (5 children) | Copy

She gave you a hall pass. So use it. Go fuck the one person that she would never ever ever want you to fuck. If for some crazy reason you stay with her because 'she would never do it agaoin', well then you at least will have taught her a lesson about tit for tat. Everything else seems to have been covered so I'm not going to bother.

[–]Veleo256[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I think you are right on this, except, I'm not interested in an open marriage. I think wef I engage in an open marriage it's over for sure.

Also I'm not going to fuck another woman because mommy said I should. I think that would be a mistake.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I hear ya. And no I was not suggesting an open marriage. Horrible idea w/ young kids. That's what old guys like me do. I was suggesting retaliation and one-upmanship. If she suggested you fuck another woman then she is clearly fucking another man.

She is fucking up your marriage and in turn their lives. A divorce is a horrible option with young kids. IMHO, this is war and she's firing all the bullets right now. I think you're trying to negotiate a peace treaty from the way it sounds. She needs to be the one begging for peace. Best of luck. No easy solution.

[–]Veleo256[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

If she suggested you fuck another woman then she is clearly fucking another man.

This is tough to read.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Would hope I'm wrong. It just strikes me as 100% unnatural for a woman to say this. Especially, yes especially unnatural when you have children. Even if my wife said this I would be puzzled and she is a proponent of open relationships. This is why I suggested you consider this war.

The good news is it's repairable. Most guys just cave in too fast. My ex cheated on me once and I caved in too soon and she went back to her old ways. The second time a few years later it happened I dropped her like a hot potato and went full red pill with my life overnight. Then after I was gone for a few months and there was nobody around to take care of all the odds and ends, and she realized that nearly all single guys are players first and foremost, it was then that she realized how much she needed me. We had young kids too BTW, a very very very similar situation, even the 'innocent' relationship with an older coworker, and the playful texts. Pretty eerie.

[–]kyhikingguy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That was my take on this man.

The pic sharing and texts aren’t lockdown evidence, but her green lighting you to bed another lady is the giveaway.

[–]shneakypete-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I have been in a position similar to yours. I think a lot of the dudes in here are telling you to drop her but that seems like absolute nonsense. The way you handled it was brilliant.

That being said, I started a business about five years ago which required me to give my full energy and attention to my venture. My girlfriend at the time was not happy. I basically worked 80 hour weeks and because of that I barely got to see her. She never cheated on me but she was extremely unhappy and depressed.

That being said, if you decide you're going to make a big move now, and you're going to better yourself and get a bigger career, how does she play in the equation? Is she completely neglected? Are you working and working while she's being left alone with the house and the kids?

So I guess what it comes down to is: are you putting enough in the relationship? I think you know you aren't. I think if you had your relationship bases covered you wouldn't be asking us for advice. If you were doing what you needed to to keep the relationship stable you'd be able to dump her in a heart beat. I'm not saying what she did is ok, but if your wife didn't fuck you for 5 years can you expect her to be surprised if you were to stray?

[–]Veleo256[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

how does she play in the equation? Is she completely neglected? Are you working and working while she's being left alone with the house and the kids?

She plays into the equation by being submissive and thirsty for me, and by supporting my vision and mission.

Regarding the dudes telling me to leave or stay, I don't think asking internet strangers to answer to these life decissions is a good idea. It's not why I posted.

But allowing them to help guide me to my faillings - this is truely where the value in MRP.

I have some introspection to do WRT:

Ego

Abundance

I think if I had both of these where they need to be, I'd be better off.

I'm interested in how your "position similar to mine" went down, what, if any introspection did you do, and where did you end up and why?



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