Why is it a red flag if girl has bad relationship with her dad.

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July 5, 2019

Post Information
Title Why is it a red flag if girl has bad relationship with her dad.
Author Iwannaeatrp
Upvotes 115
Comments 61
Date 05 July 2019 12:31 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/249797
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/c9ff9v/why_is_it_a_red_flag_if_girl_has_bad_relationship/
Similar Posts

[–]denchbench666205 points206 points  (14 children) | Copy

Because they have no example of how a man is meant to treat his family, or has an incorrect example of how a man is meant to treat his family (her included). She doesn't get to see traits that you would expect to see in a man such as accountibility, maturity, strength, authority and she never truly values herself like she should if she had both parents. Women that lack the father figure usually have less self respect and more likely to work against you than for you

[–]GirTheRobot 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

Why is it that if they have less self respect they'd try to work against you?

[–]_Legendairy_47 points48 points  (3 children) | Copy

It’s not that because they had less self respect they’d work against you, it’s that they have less self respect AND will try to work against you.

They have a twisted view of masculinity and probably will express it in hating men.

[–]sebbegerbert20 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy

Is this one of the reason feminism is on the rise?

[–]tacocat4316 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

It hasn't helped for sure, but I don't have facts so I can't say if it's the sole factor.

[–]cdh10034 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Its interrelated but definitely not the only reason (reasons include the Pill, effect of World wars, changing work patterns, urbanisation, feninisation of teaching and much more). NMMNG describes how absent fathers have led men to look more to mothers and other women for approval and, as a a consequence, imbibe more feminist thinking.

[–]Jugurthajones870 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They’re more likely sluts

[–]geo_gan23 points24 points  (4 children) | Copy

Well... My ex had a lovely father, but she was still a cunt 😄

[–]Dickwad 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

A dad who spoils his daughter too much can result in a bratty woman too.

[–]sea_light_house0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lovely, you saw it probably. You can't imagine what is a narcissist until you meet one.

[–]Eminencemiddle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's the relationship that matters. The quality of Dad is secondary.

[–]AwakenedSovereign2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Works the same way for men with let's say bad mothers. Or bad relationships with their mothers.

It's somewhere between Fear, Ignorance, Ego, lack of good examples and lack of proper training.

[–]250kcal3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Single parent (single father too) households/families are set to fail from the very start, the parenting style is just flawed all the way from the foundation.

When you have a nuclear family, it becomes a sort of 3 way relationship where the 3 people keep each other in check, most of this work falls on the parents of course but the child keeps the parents in check by forcing them to adapt a long-term mindset, take less risks, make future plans and actually put them into action instead of dreaming about them on their commute home etc. etc.

Modern Social Degeneracy is what I like to call it, thats why each parent keeps each other in check. I don't know if there is an actual word for it already but the concept is this: As we became more and more technologically advanced we stopped worrying about survival. Survival took a back seat in our minds because technology made us feel safe and free, but this freedom turns into boredom. Without the necessity to go out and ensure the survival of you and your family we became "bored" and to fill this gap in our life we engage in Modern Social Degeneracy.

Man and women express this degeneracy differently, for example I think that the drop in overall fitness in males and the rise of promiscuous behavior and divorce with women is directly related to this. A Husband doesn't need to be fit and strong to fully take care of his family, he can get a cushy office job and earn a shit load of money. Likewise a woman does not need to spend her time being a stay at home wife/mom to ensure survival of her family she can go out and do her thing now, she notices all this attention other men are giving her and she loves it.

The nuclear family model has been able to keep the degeneracy in check somewhat, but it all CRUMBLES down when you encounter a single parent household. Now there is no 3 way to keep each other in check, now as the child grows older it becomes a leader/follower relationship. The parent is of course the leader and will raise the child 100% how they see fit, there is nobody to control degeneracy of the single parent and they will pass on these behaviors to the child without realizing the issue.

One of the best examples I have seen is conflict resolution, just think of how different men and women deal with conflict. Imagine a guy who was taught conflict resolution only by his mom, thats how we got so many soyboys, betas and trannies strutting around. It's a new form of degeneracy that is being accepted by the rest of society.

[–]SolidLiquidGasPlasma1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So true, you think the girl being treated like a total slut in bed is hot till she has emotional blockers on you and would never go out of her way for you because she can’t reciprocate affection she never had

[–]OrzhovPalatine54 points55 points  (6 children) | Copy

Means she usually dislikes/uses men or shes very codependent/clingy and looking for a father.

My own GF falls in the latter.

Like any other woman, understand the terrain and plan accordingly and be always diligent.

[–]ihopngocarryout13 points14 points  (5 children) | Copy

I'm curious how you feel about your relationship knowing that your girlfriend is "codependent/clingy and looking for a father." Like, do you see a long-term future with her? Kids? Family? My girlfriend falls into the former category. We've dated for 3-4 months, been exclusive for another 3-4 months. She's a somewhat delusional feminist, and at a very basic level I think she hates the fact that she wants/needs a man in her life. Her relationship with her dad is pretty much non-existent. I'm keeping frame and all, but is there any chance of changing this kind of women? Turning her into a LTR?

[–]OrzhovPalatine20 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy

I chose to stick around so I do see potential. Shes only had one other boyfriend so low mileage and while she has daddy issues I've been able to shape her up to this point.

Also she was an ugly duckling so lacks the arrogance and entitlement of a hot girl. Shes only started to realize shes considered hot now but still has the ugly girl mentality. Between that and the low mileage is what made me go into LTR.

You can "train up" any woman but you need to make the call based off your interactions with her, some hoes cant be turned into housewives. A feminist can trained up but it requires extra steps.

When I messed with feminist women i to had to periodically check her because deep down she hated that she was being feminine around me and would try to assert herself. I'd get a break for like a month before shed try again.

Most women I've found are coffee shop feminists, they say they're feminists but will drop it around you if your frame is good. But periodically her friends will get her to push against you.

[–]Atheist_Utopia10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

deep down she hated that she was being feminine around me

Nah it's the other way around. Deep down she's feminine, but on the surface she hates being feminine around you.

[–]Standgrounding3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Knowing you have to "pump and dump" or treat such girls as a plate but choosing to fix them like a mechanic fixes his car. That's the true red pill.

[–]TheRealBrotherLouie6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, dude, be a strong men. Like, have a frame so strong not even an atomic bomb could break it

Feminists just want a powerful dick to lead them, like any other woman. But the othet women usually shut up about politics

[–]Angelrun0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Better of soft nexting

[–]Foolishoe31 points32 points  (7 children) | Copy

Great question but if you are asking this question I have to assume you are pretty young. The bond between parents and children is extremely important.

Both parents matter as a woman teaches her children compassion and communication [ok maybe just compassion] tolerance and expression.

A father teaches how to follow through, keep your word, and maintain law within yourself and enforce your will upon the external world.

A female that fights the core of the one man that has the most stake in her future is either a piece of shit or too busy for his children. Either way the female and probably the male children will be at a major disadvantage throughout life unless there was another strong responsible male nearby to care for them.

I know this because my wife hates her father. Her older brother however was just old enough to fill those boots.

Her other 2 sibling are showing all the signs of a failed parenthood. It's been an incredibly potent life reminder for me for over 2 decades now.

The older sister is a drunk feminist and the younger has several meth babies. Most of her part of the family is missing teeth, the teeth they have are rotting out.

The mother is a giant whale and the stepfather is basically toothless as well.

They live in a dark bare trailer while the two functional children own homes of high value, have perfect teeth, careers etc. This is clearly from strong male influence that did not come from his father, the brother was excellent, is excellent, despite the failing of 80% of his direct family relationships.

[–]sebbegerbert2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

You got any insight to why the brother succeeded?

[–]TheRealBrotherLouie11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

I bet it's about need. In today's society, most people don't have to work for anything to survive, and that's why we have socialists. But if life is actually hard for you , you have to be strong and do what is right . I guess the brother saw, learned and swore to never be like the parents

[–]Foolishoe1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I can ask him.

[–]saladon 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

I would love to hear what he has to say and I know it would greatly benefit this community.

Thank you.

[–]Foolishoe3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

He said hes never thought about it. Work ethic I guess.

Lol I was like ok man.

[–]sebbegerbert1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pretty good answer I think. He doesn’t dwell on why he is doing good he is just doing what he feels like he should.

[–]redpilllogin16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

I absolutely love women with daddy issues 😍

They are the best in bed.

[–]QawL14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

She is incapable of loving properly. Redpill says no girl has that capability right? Well in my experience when girls came into my life that has a loving relationship with her father I was the one that fucking up the relationship so...

In other sense they are green flag for sex red flag for LTR.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev32 points33 points  (1 child) | Copy

It means that she has no model for positive masculinity. She will likely rebel against the masculine authority of her future husband, which is exactly what she should lovingly submit to.

On the positive side, girls with daddy issues tend to be wild cats in the sack.

[–]volvostupidshit6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can actually manipulate and use them for a while if you know how their personality work. But the fallout is not worth it. They will smear your name and maybe end your carreer.

[–]oooKenshiooo11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Its a little. More complicated.

M current LTR was beaten senseless by her dad on a regular basis but has zero mental health issues. Her parents are still together though.

The girl I dated before that had a successful business man dad who was extremely well adjusted and reflected, and they have good relationship. However.. She was chock full of daddy issues with all the ensuing behavior.

[–]sea_light_house35 points36 points  (6 children) | Copy

Unstable personality, 90% chance of being a cluster-B patient,(Borderline, Narcissism, Hysteria). You'll be psychologically slayed after in a relationship with them.

[–]send_it_for_the_boys13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Listen to this guy, can’t stress it enough

[–]SuperDuperShibe3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I cannot agree with you more. If you don’t believe us, have a run with a girl with these traits. You will regret every moment of it.

[–]opinden0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This 100%

[–]Battletoad1010 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Someone elaborate, was it because you invested too much from your side? (not saying she invested less)

[–]sea_light_house0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When you're showered with reward for nothing, for a period of time, and then you're thrown away like shtt like you don't deserve anything. Borderline is an identity disorder and the patients do not have boundaries, which means you'll get reward for nothing, and then you won't receive what you actually deserve. If a BPD chick can walk all over you, remember she was a Marilyn Monroe in bed with you like you were her world, she'll cheat on you sooner than a rabbit gets fucked.

[–]BurnoutRS9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

The first man a woman encounters in her life, and the relationship she has with him, will set the stage for every subsequent relationship she has, what her expectations are etc.

[–]JJ9OO8KK5II9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's a little bit of romantic psychology behind this (romantic as in romanticizing) if you look at it from the Jungian perspective. For a man, emotional intimacy first develops and takes root with his mother. For a woman, it is her father. For building a standard and process for how they deal with emotions and more importantly the emotions of others, a woman's relationship to her father is extremely important.

A father who is loyal, confident, stable, unabusive, kind, loving, caring, present, supportive, etc. Are all qualities that she will end up seeking in a man for herself. Do you remember the saying "men love women, women love children, children love dogs"? Men were once children who seek love from grown women as they perceive their mother to have loved them. That's why men aren't loved the way they want to be loved and people get depressed over swallowing the red pill.

For women, ever since they are little girls, their father's attention is a slice of the "men loving women" portion, minus the sexual factor. Daughters will shit-test their fathers as much as their mothers do, they will have similar conditions to their appreciation for their fathers, etc.

Basically, a woman who did not have a healthy relationship with a strong father-figure is already damaged. She has "dated" her dad before any boyfriend, and it sets her behavior towards men on a certain trajectory. Because it happens from such a young age on, what she gets from her dad at a malleable age just becomes a part of who she is (and is very difficult to adjust by the time she becomes sexually interested in boys).

[–]1DullIntroduction17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

No father figure. It also applies to the rest of her family. Growing in a stable household is key.

[–]FollowerTRP16 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy

We could elaborate hours on this subject.

Long story short - if girl had bad relationship with her father, she will tend to look at every guy with more scepticism and less respect. I am not saying these things are beyond correction. But the childhood conditioning is something that has big influence on your adult life.

This can also go other way - craving male attention in father-way as she has not had it before.

It is up to you if you want to put up with this shit. There is long list of disadvantages and flaws that such girl has. And usually if you try to confront her regarding some views she has, you will face anger and outburst from her side.

You will be the bad one for ever mentioning this or bad/absent father will be used as justification for lack of respect etc.

Definitely not good thing when vetting for partner

[–]ihopngocarryout2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

> she will tend to look at every guy with more scepticism and less respect.

This describes my current girlfriend to a tee. We still have so much fun together and the sex is so good that I'm hesitant to drop her prematurely. I'm still getting so much out of the relationship.

> I am not saying these things are beyond correction

Any more thoughts here? Like can you really correct a base level of disrespect for men that sits at the core of who she is. I'd love to think so but I pretty much know the answer.

[–]FightForYourWay4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

The fact that you even LTRd a girl with daddy issues shows that it doesn’t bother you. I would never. It’s all personal preference and how much bullshit you want to put up with. If you’re dealing with daddy issues (which to me is dumb but to each their own) game will have to be tight.

[–]FollowerTRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I dont know. I would assume that damage is not possible to correct as I had a girl like this before. At certain point I decided I will not put up with this shit any further and dropped her.

Dont want to generalize tho. You need to decide for yourself if you deserve better.

[–]HurricaneHugues5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

The dad is the first and most influential man in her life. If he disappoints her early in some way, no other man will ever be able to be up to par in her mind. Therefore all men are trash.

[–]xoxuv5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

They get extra drama, extra hostility, surprise stab in the back, do never trust, flirting with all men, cheaters, always try to control you, low tolerance to your mistakes, extra passive aggressiveness, continuous shit testing. They need to be treated as bad as their dad, or they see you as a weak beta.

[–]zboo1h4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

In college I played in the orchestra and ended up sleeping with a lot of girls that played in the group with us. I'll pick two examples: a violinist and a harpist. The violinist was a hyperslut who told me she cried herself to sleep every night and her father was a weak purse-carrier. The harpist was a gentle and feminine woman who probably hadn't been with more than one or two other guys before me and her father was about as venerable as they come, an absolute statesman with his presence.

Just an anecdote for ya.

[–]mrpoopistan4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

People spend their entire lives reliving their childhoods, either trying to prove their parents right, prove their parents wrong or fix their parents. They do this through a proxy, who invariably ends up being their romantic partner.

There's no version of that you want that involves a broken paternal relationship.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It means she has no real concept of what men really are. Everything she knows comes from peers and Hollywood, so she’s all kinds of confused

[–]Ravenscar71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In my experience they are over clingy and want to live inside your pocket. Much more likely to initiate sex though.

[–]XT3M31 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

girls with out their fathers or with a bad life with one, are way more clingy than normal. they look to you to be daddy by giving them the attention they didnt get. the girls with daddy in their lives as a positive, were way more stable to me.

one thing that i notice with some girls tho, those who hate their father or grew up with a mom who trashed men grow up thinking its okay to trash men as well. then have the shocked pikachu face when hes not down with that

[–]TheGoldenLeprechaun0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It is a good indicator that she lacks discipline. As with males.

[–]lt0502860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

More than anything will have a bad understanding of how you’re supposed to be treated.

[–]BluBlac590 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She will base all of her ideas of relationships with men on the relationship she has with her father. If it's not a good one. You can't fix it.

[–]mcl1160 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Would a rich girl whose father cheated on her mother around the time she was entering HS count? Father and mother have stayed together but have what seems like a loveless relationship with much tension

[–]lossescollector 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I don't know why people constantly bash these type of women on here. These are typically the women that settle into nice long term plates and require the least amount of maintenance if appropriately managed by you.

[–]SupremeBBC2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pretty sure OP is referring to a LTR with women like this. I agree that plating them is more than okay, but I'd stay away from committing long term to a woman that has deeply rooted daddy issues.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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