Didn't want to post this in OYS because it happened half a year ago at the beginning of my MRP journey when I was still high on anger.
As I wrote in OYS 1, my reason for finding this sub was that wife stopped swallowing/taking facials/on her body because the only proper way for a married catholic to climax was inside the vagina, all the while she did all these things when we were dating.
Anyway one time during sex shortly after unplugging, without informing her, I took my dick out and finished on her ass and back. She was furious, yelled at me, run to the shower and left the house without talking to me. I was in total nuclear rambo mode and completely didn't give a fuck, continued my day as if nothing happened, was joking etc once she came back. I did this a couple more times over the next few days, she left a few more times. One time as I come in the bathroom after sex I see she is crying/shaking in the shower. This obviously made me feel bad, besides I kept reading warnings about not going rambo, so I decided to chill the fuck out and focus on raising my SMV first. Next time we had sex I already knew I would finish inside her this time, but I didn't tell her. We were doing it doggystyle and she asks without looking at me: "are you going to finish inside me this time?" I say "no" just to fuck around with her. The very same moment I feel the unmistakable wave of wetness around my dick. After I finish I see she had been crying during sex. I can already hear you joking that these are tears of joy, that her beta finally became a man who takes what he wants, bu they were the same tears as the previous time in the shower.
Ever since that time I can't help but wonder if this was it, this was the moment, I should have just pushed through a few more times and she would have become my submissive slut again. Either way I don't care about taking shortcuts and just fixing the sex. I want to fix myself because I'm not happy with who I am regardless of women/sex. But I just wonder.