[Open Discussion] What is the role of a red pill father in today's world?

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August 21, 2019

Putting aside the complexities of marriage or starting a family outside of marriage (which is IMO preferable to marriage), what should be the role of fathers to their children in today's world?

What important roles do fathers fill that mothers cannot?

What important concessions should a father avoid making to maintain his position as father?

And finally, does today's cultural climate allow for this father to exist?


Post Information
Title [Open Discussion] What is the role of a red pill father in today's world?
Author redpillschool
Upvotes 159
Comments 114
Date 21 August 2019 02:51 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/249835
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/cthxry/open_discussion_what_is_the_role_of_a_red_pill/
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[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (18 children) | Copy

Chris Rock has a bit about a father's #1 role for his daughter is keeping her off the stripper pole. <-- this isn't far from the truth as girls raised without a dad at home are way more promiscuous and start having sex years earlier than they otherwise would if raised in a traditional nuclear family.

IMO the #1 role for dads of boys is to ensure their sons are not feminized into some limp wristed sissy soy boy.

Being the captain of the ship and leading by example is and has always been the best way of teaching kids how to be well adjusted adults. The rise of leftism and weak men falls directly at the feet of single mothers, and the evidence is all around us (albeit not openly talked about in the media so it goes under the radar). Case in point...

The overwhelming majority of those in prison for a plethora of different types of crime... drug dealing, assault, rape, murder, you name it... all raised by single mothers.

[–]oldboldpoet88 points89 points  (37 children) | Copy

Generally, as a father and a teacher, I think that we, as men, should model right behavior. I think children should see a man being faithful to his responsibilities. I too would not advocate marriage in this cultural climate, but a married man should maintain his status as head of the household. He should do what he says he will do and be where he says he will be. He should also expect these things of his friends, colleagues, women, and children. Though I am very new here, I see the implementation of the notion of frame as being an imperative. I expect that only a father can instill the sense of self worth in a female that will make her more appealing to the right kind of man, and I am completely convinced that ONLY a father can guide a boy by his example to become that man.

A father should never let his children see him compromise his principles. I watched as a man I know forgave his wife for her very-public affair. As expected, she soon strayed again, leaving his son with a terrible example and eventually with a step-father who had cucked his biological father.

And finally, with a concerted effort and movement, we might very well create men who will usher in a new climate.

[–]EffigyDijjih15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy

A father should never let his children see him compromise his principles.

I wouldn't go as far as to say that, but I understand the sentiment. Principles should be stood for and defended when challenged, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't change. I guess it boils down to what's more important to you; Defending something you've stood by, indefinitely or being able to criticize it, amend it or drop it when it no longer serves you.

[–]LateralThinker130 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I guess it boils down to what's more important to you; Defending something you've stood by, indefinitely or being able to criticize it, amend it or drop it when it no longer serves you.

These aren't incompatible. You can change your values when they need to adapt. What you don't want to do is to compromise them, to betray them for convenience. That suggests a lack of integrity.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My father thought it was acceptable to commit felonies and gross violations of my civil liberties and constitutional rights all because a crazy girl from my past refused to ghost her beta orbiters. Now THAT'S some bedrock "principles."

[–]throwing8smokes0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

why don't you recommend marriage? jc

[–]oldboldpoet2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

I've been married 31 years, but modern women are so tainted by the feminist worldview that it would be very difficult to find one worth that level of commitment now.

[–]natiriswenson0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

You're right. Being with a woman that wants equality in the relationship would just ruin the whole thing. How can you commit to someone who can... think?! Absolutely not.

[–]oldboldpoet0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Except feminism is about the subjugation of man and his nature not equality, and thoughtful women, like my wife, reject it.

[–]natiriswenson0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Oh, as a self proclaimed feminist myself, I thought it was about equality 🤷‍♀️🙄

[–]oldboldpoet0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

In a comment on another post you bragged that your man treated you "almost like a queen." Monarchs, like a queen, have subjects. As your subject, he is subjugated. That is modern feminism in a nutshell.

[–]natiriswenson0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's a figure of speech meaning he treats me very well. The equality part means I (to use the same analogy) treat him like a king. It's a two way relationship where there is mutual effort, compromise, and respect. Submission from either of us isn't wanted. I don't have to submit to support him, and in NO way is be a "subject." That's pretty messed up. It's 2019, so please doesn't mistake my meaning and take those terms literally lol. Edit: typo

[–]Senior Contributoradam-l54 points55 points  (11 children) | Copy

Putting aside the complexities of marriage...

You might as well have asked "Putting aside the lack of O2, how would you imagine life on Mars?"

But I get the idea. Let's suppose that you have a wife (or your child's mother) that is submissive, supports you, does not give you shit, and you are certain she won't someday kidnap your child or limit your interaction with it in any way.

What important roles do fathers fill that mothers cannot?

The father's role can be summarized in this: Showing the child how to interact with the world with a sense of security and adequacy.

Top priority for infants and small kids is to install into them a basic trust: "without risk there is no reward (pleasure)", as opposed to a basic mistrust of the world: "without risk there is no danger". This is accomplished by setting secure limits, within which the child can be free to explore. Women, by their opportunistic nature, cannot do that: they are prone to changing the "limits" based on their current emotional state, thus disorienting their children.

I will just note here that physical punishment, by its nature, breaks trust to the parent, and is the thing to do if you want to have scared kids, awed by the display of power. If a man finds a need to resort to physical punishment, it's a very clear indication that he has failed as a father anyway.

Setting limits also means pushing them. It's the father that has to have a sound judgement of where is enough. Mother has no clue, she's a child herself. Limit-setting, of course, has nothing to do with the caricature of the unyielding and unavailable traditional father. On the contrary, emotional availability is also a critical point for fathers.

Here's my controversial (so, valuable!) input: It's the father's, not the mother's role to acknowledge his child's feelings.

  • There is this notion that boys should be taught to ignore their feelings in order to accomplish things (i.e. their fear). This is probably the biggest bullshit traditionalism has offered the world. Every brave act you can remember doing and feel proud about, you were scared shitless, but decided that you had to do it anyway - and that's why you feel proud about it. If this feeling gets identified (and parental acknowledgement is the way to do it), you have a brave child. If not, you have either a crazy one, or a fool.

  • Mothers, being women, suffer from the incapacity to discern between what's objective, outside them, and subjective. Therefore, their "empathy" with the kid carries their own projections, expectations, fears. Motherly mirroring is a tool to sculpt their kids in ways that serve the mother's interests. It is the analog of a fat mother putting her thin daughter on diet, thereby instilling bulimia in her, as a way to externalize her (the mother's) problem, observe it, and try to solve it on someone else's expense.

So, empathic training, i.e. emotional training, is not disconnected from the external world, and is something that fathers have to do.

/u/Archwinger once wrote that what mothers are good at doing unattended is: taking care of the children for a limited period of time. I agree. That's it. All that's important, all growing and balance in the child's life comes from the father. A good mother is one that is keen on following the father's frame.

And finally, does today's cultural climate allow for this father to exist?

Supposing you find a mother that is dependable, I do believe there is ample opportunity for effecting fathering. Parents do play decisive role in where their children end up. TV, social media etc are big influences, but you do have about 12 years to instill the core of a sound psychology in your children.

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 13 points14 points  (8 children) | Copy

I will just note here that physical punishment, by its nature, breaks trust to the parent, and is the thing to do if you want to have scared kids, awed by the display of power.

I think only if you're setting out to actually hurt the child.

Discipline will always have a component of fear to it- fear of disappointing dad, or fear of any punishment phyiscal or otherwise.

Physical punishments, such as spankings, when done correctly, can be more about the elaborate showing of disappointment then about the physical spank itself. I think to do that correctly, you can't spank out of retaliation. Instead, you set the limit and the rule, and if he disobeys, you set the punishment event for later that night. You make him dread the embarrassment.

Respect- positive respect- is a great motivator. But eventually dad is going to have to say no to something that makes him very unpopular for saying so. Your kid will need to know that you're able to hold your ground, if pushed. Instill this into him well enough and you won't need much in the way of live demonstration. But expect over 18 years for him to test it once or twice.

As he ages, some of the punishments are natural consequences to his actions absent mom and dad shielding him from the world. Deciding he doesn't want to eat what's for dinner is followed by hunger. Deciding to break the law may end in community service.

[–]Senior Contributoradam-l10 points11 points  (5 children) | Copy

I've been doing some more reflection on it.

Children have, by their developmental phase, a self-centered thinking. "It's about me." So spanking them is not, in their minds, about their action, it's about them.

Now, physical violence may work for (some) women, because it is connected to their sex drive - and their craving for authority. Children, on the other hand, are just human beings. You are not connecting to children through their sex drive. Physical violence is terrible to them, because they are deprived from all their sense of control: they are at your mercy, and suffering at that.

A child's thinking, then, is not "I've done some bad deed, so I need to be punished so that I don't do it again." If it was capable of doing this thought, they wouldn't do the deed in the first place. Their internal process goes something like this: "I am being punished by my dad. This is a bad thing. But my dad is good. So I must be a bad kid, and that's why I do bad things. My dad is right to punish me. It's a terrible thing, but I depend on my dad, so he is good, so he's only doing this because I am a bad person. Oh, I guess I must keep doing these kind of things, otherwise my dad will have punished me for no reason, so he would be bad. I cannot have a bad daddy, this is too scary. Let me justify his actions. I'll keep doing thinks like these."

Physical, and actually all harsh punishment, only serves to severe ties. Now, how about its educational value? What exactly are you teaching your kid by spanking him? That there is a system out there that has a right to take away his autonomy, and he must fear it. Instead of teaching him that authority has to justify itself each and every time it is applied, you are teaching him that he must justify himself to authority. Sure, the world might work that way, but you are not teaching him how to think independently - and behave differently. You are teaching him to think and behave within the confines of authority. You are beating the Alpha out of him, and justifying the Beta in him.

Another perspective has to do with expectations. It's like approaching a girl. Expect rejection, and 9 times out of 10 that's what you are going to get. Don't even have the notion of rejection in your mind, and you can be in, in 40-90% of the cases. It's the same with your children, except much-much more consistent. Expect him to misbehave, to the point where physical punishment will be necessary, and 9 out of 10 times you'll find yourself doing it. Don't even have the need of harsh punishment in your mind, and in 99.5% of the cases you won't need to do it. And a kid that behaves by 99.5% of the time, must have something real bothering him to misbehave that 0.5% of the cases. Try to find out what that is, instead of assuming... what? dissent? evilness? what? and punish him.

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

Physical, and actually all harsh punishment, only serves to severe ties.

I disagree entirely. Further, your description:

I am being punished by my dad. This is a bad thing. But my dad is good. So I must be a bad kid, and that's why I do bad things. My dad is right to punish me. It's a terrible thing, but I depend on my dad, so he is good, so he's only doing this because I am a bad person. Oh, I guess I must keep doing these kind of things, otherwise my dad will have punished me for no reason, so he would be bad. I cannot have a bad daddy, this is too scary. Let me justify his actions.

Only works if the punishment does not fit the crime, is inconsistent, sporadic, or worse- unjustified and random.

Your "aversion to authority" rationale doesn't stack up when you consider that aside from the physical portion of it, it's no different than any other discipline.

Do something bad = dad punishes you. Whether it's sitting in a corner, being sent to your room, losing toys, or getting a spanking, all of these punishments establish you as an authority and establish guidelines and boundaries in which the child must operate or be punished. This is all an appeal to authority until he learns how the world works. (That comes much later in life).

When he gets older, I agree, fatherly disappointment may be all it requires to teach the child a lesson. But before that, he must know real consequences if he talks back to mom, throws things at the table, steals a cookie, etc.

You haven't divorced spanking from other punishment in your counterpoint, except to say it's scary.

If there isn't at least some fear, the child won't take the punishment seriously. What happens if he decides to test your theory? He won't stay in the corner because he doesn't believe your punishment?

An easy answer is this: I'm bigger than you and you will do what I say. You can pick him up and put him right back in the corner. Would you not do this to avoid your child being afraid? What little respect he will have for you then.

I suspect you have a caricature of an angry, abusive dad in your mind. One who lashes out in anger and tries to strike fear in the hearts of all around him.

But there is obviously subtlety to this. You cannot lash out, and you cannot be angry. As I described above, the punishment should be a show of embarrassment and disappointment. The spank itself does not need to hurt much more than a small slap on the bottom. But you do so with sadness in your eyes for his indiscretion. "Sorry son, but this is necessary because you broke the rules. I wish it were not so!"

The truth is that ALL authority flows from force and resources. Whether you get from A to B quickly or not is irrelevant. The fact is, as the head of the household, you keep this position by being strong, providing resources and protection for those inside the family. The unspoken understanding is that what's out there is dangerous and DAD is the one big enough to protect us from whatever it is. While it comes from a place of nurture and love, it doesn't change the implicit understanding that without dad = danger or starvation. Piss off dad enough to leave, and you're subject to violence whether or not dad would spank you.

It may not be an explicit thought in anybody's head, but the natural aversion to biting the hand that feeds you is clearly borne out of a desire to eat.

You're trying to divorce the two but I do not see a way logically in which it is divorced without giving a special ethereal quality to spanking that I don't think you've demonstrated.

[–]Senior Contributoradam-l4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

We are reaching the philosophical foundations. Great.

Do something bad = dad punishes you. Whether it's sitting in a corner, being sent to your room, losing toys, or getting a spanking, all of these punishments establish you as an authority and establish guidelines and boundaries in which the child must operate or be punished. This is all an appeal to authority until he learns how the world works. (That comes much later in life).

Limit-testing itself shouldn't be punished. That's how we people explore the world. It is what makes us humans. The burden is on the limit to prove its usefulness. As a caretaker, you establish limits because breaking them has a consequence. In most cases, letting the kid experience the consequence is enough. Throw the food -> stay hungry. Etc. I think you are focusing too much on the authority aspect. Consequences are naturally, logically tied with the limits. Spanking is not - it is tied to the rights of an authority.

The truth is that ALL authority flows from force and resources.

OK, this I do not accept from you. :) There is natural leadership, and imposed leadership. Once you prove, time and time again, that you are dependable and your leading is for the best, people will follow you enthusiastically without the fear of punishment. Kids too.

The unspoken understanding is that what's out there is dangerous

Another issue I disagree with. For the first 6 or even 10 years of your child's life you should be teaching your child that what's out there is fantastic! True, you are living in the US, and it's pretty fucked up, but still, while the kid is still small and largely tied to the house you have your only opportunity to let it experience the passion for life in a sheltered environment. No need to dampen it with fear. Plenty of time to teach it to be careful once it grows and can experience the world with reason too. Actually, as the kid matures and explores, it will be capable of discerning danger itself, in most cases.

[–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy


Children have, by their developmental phase, a self-centered thinking. "It's about me." So spanking them is not, in their minds, about their action, it's about them.

That is true. I've experienced this on myself, I've seen it in other children, in other children when I grew older, I see it in women almost all time, I see it in some grown men too, I could even stretch this into politics and conspiracy theories: "the other side does it b/c they want to do something bad to me".

Rest of your explanation how a child perceives physical punishment is a bit sketchy b/c it doesn't follow your initial simple explanation: if it's "about the kid and not his actions" then it's logical that he will follow that "rule", namely, he will start resenting the parent without understanding the reasons. I personally followed that path as a child, seen it in my peers.


Only works if the punishment does not fit the crime, is inconsistent, sporadic, or worse- unjustified and random.

Punishment that only prevents the deed, not the internal "need or want to do it" is not optimal solution, tho I agree a 5yo won't get it either. "I want to but I won't do it b/c there's the beltbuckle" is less preferable to something like "I won't do it b/c parent's managed to subvert my need with another priority like - it will hurt them and they will cry". Something along these lines. Sure, beltbuckle does work to stop the deed, but it seems to do the opposite of allowing the child to grow b/c it cultivates the "I want to do it" rather than showing why the kid shouldn't.


A comment I made in a thread about physical violence, but it's not far from the punishing of the child by the father:

Submitting to the threat of violence (not the violence) is admitting inferiority. You back down b/c you deem yourself weaker than the opponent (whatever weaker means - size, skill, voice power, demeanor etc.). That's a bigger, more valuable "win" than making, forcing someone to submit physically, but not mentally. Thus, the person who initiates violence settles for lesser "win", possibly for lack of submission even despite winning the fight (in which case the aggressor is made look incompetent).

[–]Chaddeus_Rex2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Punishment that only prevents the deed, not the internal "need or want to do it" is not optimal solution

Young children are incapable of thinking much beyond the self or their wants - at least that's my impression.

Their wants can lead them to do deeds that are viewed as 'crossing the line' by their parents. They will not understand that a particular want is 'bad' without the use of some form of punishment. A series of punishments and rewards teaches them with time and sets boundaries for behavior making them not wanting to do it in the future.

it will hurt them and they will cry".

In my experience children can't give two flying fucks. If anything, seeing their parents - particularly dad will scare the shit out of them as they will not see their parents as able to protect them.

As I said in another reply, spanking a child is not about violence and never should be. Spanking the child should be done lightly, with no force behind it. The point is to make the child fear potential force rather than actual force and the disappointment of dad.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Now, physical violence

Spanking is not about physical violence. It never has been. It is not about instilling a fear of physical retribution for misdeeds. Rather it is about expressing immense disappointment and instilling a fear of your potential for violence. Traditionally, spankings have always been done with an open palm, and never with any force behind it. Furthermore, if a belt is used, do not treat it as a whipping but rather lay it on lightly. Finally, spankings should not be used liberally, but for significant misdeeds. Give it a little sting - this makes the child fear to disappoint the father more than anything.

[–]Senior Contributoradam-l10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you have a good connection, respect your kid, have high expectations, and he respects himself and has expectations from himself - which you can discern in todlers as small as two-year-olds, a scolding should be enough.

I think we would agree that with proper parenting actual physical punishment is unnecessary. Since the lack of actual punishment would render the threat of physical punishment idle, it is only a logical conclusion that even the threat of it is unnecessary - again, when parenting is done right.

[–]NormalAndy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Physical punishment is usually frustration on the part of the parent. Don’t do it otherwise the most responsible teenager will follow your lead.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

There is this notion that boys should be taught to ignore their feelings in order to accomplish things (i.e. their fear).

That's precisely how you teach boys to succeed - "ignore your feeling of fear and do it anyway".

Cross the Rubicon and seize the reward.

but you do have about 12 years to instill the core of a sound psychology in your children

All of which will be undone in their teens and 20's by the media. Especially in girls.

[–]natiriswenson0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You could just say, "supports you" in the intro... support can be better than submission. A woman kneeling isn't doing as much as a women who has your back.

[–]SeasonedRP29 points30 points  (6 children) | Copy

Society expects fathers to be like the ones portrayed on tv and in movies, i.e., amiable, clueless buffoons who defer to women at all times. It is semi-acceptable not to be a buffoon as long as you are slight of build, have a high-pitched voice, and are meek and deferential around women (kind of like JP is). You're in for a battle if you are a muscular, athletic man with a deep authoritative voice and traditionally masculine values. You may have a wife who, at least initially, understands the importance of a strong father, but she will be influenced by friends and the school system and eventually try to undermine you. Needless to say, schools despise traditional masculinity and men with those values. If you live in a nice area, your neighbors and wife's friends will also despise such men.

As a result, most fathers I see end up conceding. They let their wives be in charge of the kids and don't dare rock the boat with schools or other institutions kids come in contact with. Boys are raised to be pussies and girls are raised to be self-centered aggressive harpies.

In my view, this is probably the most important concession fathers should not make: don't cave in to your wife, family members, or institutions when it comes to imparting traditionally masculine values to your kids. Kick your wife out of the house if you have to and cut off contact with any family members who are bad influences. Today's cultural climate makes this very difficult to accomplish. I did so with two sons. It was not easy and sure isn't anything I'd want to do over again.

It is unfortunate that this cultural climate exists because in my view, once the kids aren't toddlers and get older, dads are more important than moms and should have the primary role in parenting. 13 year old boys don't need their mommies. They need their dads to teach them that things won't always go their way and that they need to learn to deal with things like men and do things they don't want to do. Teen girls tend not to get along with their moms. If their dads are milquetoast pushovers, their base instincts won't be reined in and they'll make poor choices in terms of dating and promiscuity.

[–]5Imperator_Red6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Kick your wife out of the house if you have to

Bahaha. How do you kick your wife out of the house?

“Get out of my house.”


*Physically makes her leave

*cops roll up 5 minutes later, throw you in cuffs and take you to jail. You go to prison, get divorce raped, lose your kids, and are branded a domestic abuser (hope you don’t own any firearms).

Great plan bro

Great plan.

[–]SeasonedRP10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hardly a plan since I did just that. I suppose one follow your approach and whine, shrug your shoulders, play by the rules, and let the kids continue to be exposed to a harmful influence, but I chose a different way. Since you're being an autist with things meant figuratively, I'll be more specific. Buy out her equity in the house and stay; sell it and divide the proceeds and buy a new house; or have her buy you out and get a new house. The key point is to have alone time with the kids, away from any harmful influence of their mother, and in some cases that means you don't live under the same roof as her.

[–]IRunYourRiver1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

We really have to stop this kind of complaining. We know that the current climate disfavors traditional masculinity. But at some point it becomes victim puking rather than discussing how to move forward. Besides, no one, not ever, is going to willingly cede control to you, no matter how many Y chromosomes you have. View the current climate as a grand shit test that you must pass rather than an inescapable swamp.

[–]SeasonedRP7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

No, we really have to stop the commenting by people who lack reading comprehension skills and who have no experience in this area. I answered the questions posed, gave sound advice, and stated reality as it is. I didn't complain. Your comment is especially off base and infelicitous given that I've raised sons properly who are now well-adjusted young men. I am thus speaking from experience in that I overcame society's disdain for fathers and am sharing based on that experience. If my ding of JP is what triggered you, well, I have more experience as a father than he does, and I did a better job.

[–]IRunYourRiver3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Okay, I re-read your comment and realized I jumped to conclusions the first time around. My apologies. For what it's worth, I'm in the midst of raising two sons right now. It's a scary time for them.

[–]SeasonedRP3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

One thing I've noticed is kids in their teens now tend to reject a lot of the nonsense being taught by schools and society. That generation seems different from millennials. If you guide them properly and are firm against bad outside influences, they'll probably turn out great.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor20 points21 points  (3 children) | Copy

I could ramble on this topic for hours, but let me add one thing that I haven't seen from anyone else yet. From my personal experience and multitudes of observations, the father's and the mother's position in relationship to a child will change multiple times over life. Without artificial influences, pathology or other distortions, a child will see his mother as the primary parent in their early years and then teens. They will see their father as primary parent in pre-teen years and early adulthood. It will eventually all balance out after that, particularly if they start having kids too.

When you are not seen as the primary parent, it will be very natural to experience conflict with the child. This culminates in early adulthood where mothers will drive their children away by ramping up all the more nasty female behaviors--bitchiness, shaming, etc. This is not only natural, it's neccessary. Distorting this dynamic will cause harm, leaving your basement littered with worthless proto-adults.

So with this all in mind, there will be times when you are not the one leading the children. However you should ALWAYS be leading the mother and the household. Do not subvert the relationship between a mother and a child just because you think you need to be mister big man. If you are doing this correctly, children will recognize your ultimate authority THROUGH their mother.

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

In fact, maybe you should ramble on this topic for hours...

This is an interesting perspective. I would like to hear more about this.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Like I said, it'll be a bit of a ramble, but I'll continue.

Most bad things I did as a parent was the direct result of listening to other people instead of doing what I thought was right. I was a parent young and there was no shortage of pompous boomer shitheads with advice and then judgement and finally shame. It should be no surprise that the millennials are such a mess. They had a generation of parents that swerved left and right like a bunch of drunks behind the wheel only to defer parenting decisions to the school system and popular media. The schools were more than happy to pick up the slack, but the didn't actually give a shit about the kids--they were just little piggy banks that came and went. So instead of trying to make better parents, the entire culture was about getting the kids away from their parents. The little piggy banks go on to rack up five digits in school debt with no real destination in life.

As we know here, the only real way to deal with shaming is to tell it to fuck off. There was an episode with my eldest (apex millennial) that was a huge eye opener to Legal Cohabiting Female and myself. You know it had to be a big deal when a female can shake off external shaming, but I will admit it was also probably because I was just fundamentally done. From that point on no one influenced our parenting decisions again, including our parents. You want to share information? Great. Advice? Piss off. Politely, of course.

This was part of my Red Pill awakening. Advice is corruption. It belongs to another body. You can learn from it, but you can't take it in or it will just rot you from the inside. That said, don't be afraid to take help from other people and accept that they may do things differently. That's ok. Kids understand that. What they can't have is parents that won't make decisions and stick to them.

So, back to shaming. The other benefit of telling it to fuck off is other parents will actually open up to you about their shitshow problems (all families have them) if they know you don't do shame. And then you can work together against your common enemy--your kids. As long as I don't think you are a clear and present danger to the physical well being of your child, I don't give a fuck about how anyone parents. Yes, you'll fuck some shit up. So did I.

I've gotten a kid's ass paddled by a parent once (nothing severe) because I ratted him out. Do I personally approve of it? Generally, no. Did I still rat the kid out? Yup. Common enemy. It's far more important that parent to kid and parent to parent relationships stay intact than any series of individual parenting decisions.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil44 points45 points  (9 children) | Copy

There are two forms of power. Soft power is the cultural power of the education and media complex. Hard power is the enforcement apparatus such as Police and Military.

Traditionally men tend toward hard power both in society and in the family. However as history has shown Soft Power is all that matters. It doesn't matter who enforces the rules, just who creates the norms and culture.

In most Western homes the television/internet shits GloboHomo into the family home. The mother repeats that shit unironicaly because she's a permanent teenager who stopped mentally developing at 18. The father doesn't contest her retardation because "he's not into politics" or some gay shit. Instead he focuses on enforcing her rules and subsidizing the tranny/slut/cuck indoctrination center that is his family home.

The solution is to be the soft power and set the culture of your family home either with religion, philosphy, ideology or culture.

[–]novalentineforyou11 points12 points  (5 children) | Copy

How can you practically do that? Limit TV and internet access? Send your kids to private schools?

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Be a great storyteller and understand rhetoric. You can not hide from the enemy you must take him head on. Don't go to a place of defence but to a place of attack

[–]Vikingcel2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm surprised they got away with making that movie in Germany.

I loved the lack of external narrative pushing. It really was just Hitler waking up in 2014.

[–]5Imperator_Red3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

That is the million dollar question isn’t it.

[–]Hjalmbere1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You answered your own question.

[–]RatMan290 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Those, and homeschool. And choose entertainment sources that don't teach immorality. I recommend BlazeTV, for instance.

[–]mrssmithhh4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m beginning to be more and more convinced that I am the one who truly has all the power in my home, because I am the hand that rocks the cradle. I tell my sons what is right and wrong, I show them what is fun, what is expected, they come with me everywhere socially, I control all the conversations, traditions, games, and friends they could have. I make the table, the food that could either nourish them or hurt them, I’m the one who brings all of us together for all family events and family time. I am responsible for showing them how to act in public, how to dress for different occasions, and I know without doubt my sons will do whatever necessary to keep Momma happy. I have extraordinary power. I am their first experience of life itself. I know my role will take a secondary position when they get older, but I get their first years nearly exclusively. Women have so much power as a homemaker/mother that it’s almost obscene. I think that’s a large part of what mothering is - the transmission of cultural values. I think women are designed to imprint culture and then pass it on. The problem is that most women now have imprinted a culture that has been passed down from daycare and state-run indoctrination camps, and I’m sure a lightly-disguised Marxist government is thrilled to push agendas that break off the father and make room for the government. It’s brilliant, honestly. Men have been culled off from pratrollimg the boarders of their own families, allowing the state to invade and create an excellent cash crop of numbed workers.

I wonder if that’s why a traditional patriarchy pushed so much deference to men - because, when all is said and done, men are helpless to protect a family when the woman decides she no longer wants to be part of it, for whatever reason. A submissive woman is necessary because a man can only provide and protect to the extent that she allows him to, because the ultimate burden of reproduction is on the woman. She can walk away with the fetus inside of her at any time (unless he literally keeps her locked up), and if he at all desires to see his genetic gene pool have future success, he needs to be able to protect the fetus too. He is more or less at her mercy and deference, just as she is at the mercy of his willingness to share his hard-earned resources. Men serve women. That is why women were told to give them freedom and respect and appreciation. Everything a man did was to serve the woman and her children, and it was necessary for children to survive and thrive, but since women sold out and decided that the tremendous power we had in the home wasn’t glamorous enough, we gave our kids over to the state to mold and instill culture however it saw useful, and the women of today hold up the values they have been taught.

I also think that it’s a sin to birth a child and then hand that child over to a daycare or nanny to be raised. I intend on homeschooling and have no intention of allowing they state to be responsible for the development of my very precious sons.

TV and media is a double-edged sword. I think the herbal rule is that as long as they can discuss the contents with me and have analytical conversations about what all is being said and pushed in the shows/music, then it’s ok to watch (age appropriate stuff, of course). Otherwise, pretty much everything would be out. Nearly all tv shows push a Marxist/feminist/anti white agenda. I think the key is to foster critical/indecent thinking and immunize them via exposure and knowledge in proportion to their age.

[–]Hjalmbere2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think you’re behind the times. Kids today don’t watch TV. They play computer games and watch independent content on Youtube. Restrict mobile phone access and you’ve won half the battle.

[–]ARUKET0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The media they fill their brains with is far worse than TV ever was. Look at the garbage they read on the internet, the drivel that Snapchat posts on the media page, the absolute cancer that is Instagram, and the normie hell that is the Youtube trending page. Limiting access to this as much as possible is so important.

[–]hearse2238 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Red pill father has to be a ROLE MODEL, actions speak louder than words and much louder than arbitrary rules.

My father was a womanizer who had kids with multiple women, I suppose id consider him "red pill" in the sense that he never married. But he wasnt much of a role model for me anyway so it didnt help me much.

[–]six-acorn7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

There's good and bad and no father will be perfect.

My parents were divorced, and I was raised by a single mother. Did it make me softer? Undoubtedly yes, though my dad was never a mighty physical specimen either.

I would say that growing up I was raised in a house of emotional turmoil and lack of emotional control. That was a negative influence. Though, if they stayed together, there would have been even MORE shit thrown against walls probably.

Things that Dad taught me:

  • finances
  • a lot of math early on
  • sports like baseball, golf, basketball, football, though not an actual competitive level
  • marriage sucks don't get married
  • poker

Not/ never taught:

  • Alpha and that anyone can be alpha.
  • Women and how to get them/ interact with them.
  • Decent social skills, esp. in the modern era. Fashion/ style

It's crazy what happens when you live in a scarcity mindset, both with money and/or women. Especially the "supplicating" mindset which some guys NEVER grow out of. "Oh, keep your head down, grovel, beg, plead, and they might give you a raise/ some pussy."

That, and with divorced parents who never really dated until I was older (at least not that I know of). The house was completely asexual. Not sure if that's normal. I didn't have any sisters either so women were pretty much an alien fucking species.

As a dad, I think you need to teach your kid how to be a Modern Man. Aka an Alpha 2.0 who is strong, unapologetic but socially adept, not hot-tempered or jealous, and can "get away" with more and dodge SJW landmines. Not just a brash Alpha 1.0 thug bully of the 1990s (think Gaston parody) who gets eaten alive by feminist groups these days and has a short-leash socially.

[–]Flintblood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

and dodge SJW landmines.

What does socially adept look like today and how does one "dodge SJW landmines"?

[–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

what should be the role of fathers to their children in today's world?

Be the real life version of TRP and perhaps even more importantly askTRP. You have a problem, you ask and there's a reasonably good answer. You want someone to hear you out, someone who understands what you're going through, that should be your father, even when you're past your teens or older.

What important roles do fathers fill that mothers cannot?

Discipline, and I mean it as laying out the boundaries. Your dog barks all time, that's your fault (not the dog's) b/c you didn't train him properly. Same with children. Mothers cannot do it on the same level fathers can b/c they lack the innate, visceral threat of violence that a man has.

What important concessions should a father avoid making to maintain his position as father?

Ask MRP guys.

And finally, does today's cultural climate allow for this father to exist?

Not really a "father" issue, but generally a "man" issue. You can be a father, the problem is, what kind of a father are you going to be if you subscribe, willingly or not, into the mainstream toxic masculinity male bashing and emasculation?

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

And finally, does today's cultural climate allow for this father to exist?

Not really a "father" issue, but generally a "man" issue.

The reason I pose the question is that there are a lot of forces at play here, some worse than others. In-laws and relatives may have their own feelings on family structure, constantly trying to undermine you. But also, the legal system. Preventing you from physical discipline of your child- or even women using the legal system against you if they decide they don't like the decisions you make as head of the family.

The reason there's a head of the family is because hard decisions need to get made. If they were easy, nobody would disagree on them. But since they're hard and there's disagreement, women remember threatpoint and can use it against you the minute they think they know better.

It's years of TV and family whispering into her ear. You don't see it coming because for the first few years of parenthood, you didn't have that hard decision to make. Suddenly, when push comes to shove, they remember all the stuff they were poisoned with. Your power is now neutered.

[–]miserablesisyphus6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Let me first start with what my experience was/is like as a first time father:

A child is born into this world dependent on its mother for feeding and comfort. This initial dependency between a woman and her baby creates the "motherly" bond. Granted, today you can feed your child formula, but that's another subject. Since they've been stuck inside her for 9 months, a baby can even identify their mom's voice straight out of the womb. This dependency and relationship is one of nurturing. It's as old as our existence. On the other hand, a Father's role during this is to sustain, protect, and provide. As much as the RedPill shits on beta providers, when you have a child you should be expected to provide protection and resources. This may be conflicting with TRP, but a strong "alpha" male ensures his offspring survive, therefore ensuring that his genetic legacy survives.

Anyways, this symbiotic relationship should provide a child with a solid understanding of life. For example, a comforting mother should teach a child how to be compassionate, gentle, and kind when necessary,. A Father, on the other hand, should teach his child how to be indifferent, hard, and ruthless when necessary. A father should show through action how cruel and heartless the world can be. For example, I will never forget when I saw my Father field dress and quarter a deer for the first time. It didn't need explaining or a long-winded conversation about how "this is how the world works". It was just a part of the process of getting it from one stage to the next. There was no justifying his actions or an explanation on why it was "the right thing to do"-- the deer was dead and it was done. These moments have a way of capturing the essence of life in way words do not. That is why I say a Father should teach through action.

You may ask "why are these characteristics specific to a father". The reason goes back to our initial relationships. As a protector and provider, a Father will do anything to make sure his child prospers. Even if, for example, that means killing someone trying to do his child harm. Even though this is an extreme example, what if perhaps that person trying to do harm to the child was doing it for his child? This is the breaking down of dichotomous thinking and I think this is the ultimate role of the Father. Good and bad aren't always as they seem. Logic and understanding aren't always going to solve problems. There are moments in our lives that you can't just tally up pros and cons and come to a logical conclusion on the decision you should make. A Father should face these moments in life with determination and unwavering commitment. These men will father the next generation of great men and women. Can we expect a coward to raise a strong and disciplined person?

I'll leave you with this personal, but funny story. When my daughter started growing teeth she started to bite my wife's nipple. One time she bit down on it and wouldn't let go. My wife was screaming so I grabbed my daughter's cheek and pulled until she let go. My daughter opened up and let go, but she immediately started crying and screaming. Now, I care for my daughter so much that it is impossible to put it down in writing. But, if at this moment she could talk she would have told you how mean and abusive I was to her. But, this is the role of the Father--to do what is best for her even if she doesn't like it. To show (not tell) her what strength means. To show her how something like that, something otherwise seen as cold and mean, was for her own good, because we all know that when parents say "it's for your own good" we never listened. Not only did my daughter not bite my wife's nipple again, but it also showed my wife how much of a fucking man I am. You might think this is outrageous, but ask yourself this - why didn't my wife just take my daughter off her nipple? The fact is that she has that motherly instinct so deeply ingrained, that even though my daughter was causing her so much pain, she still didn't want to hurt my daughter. You see this motherly instinct manifest in a deeper more perverted form when grown men still live at home. Without a father to kick their deadbeat son out, these moms put up with their sons bitching and verbally abusive attacks. You can also see the opposite. Without a compassionate mother, strong dads can be overbearing and their sons turn out to be pussy pushovers no matter how hard they are on them.

[–]Andgelyo4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not a father yet (29) but I believe it men’s duty to teach traditional roles for their children. Boys need to learn how to be masculine leaders, critically think, and be strong mentally and physically. Girls need to learn to have feminine submissiveness, nurture their children, as well as provide.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

what should be the role of fathers to their children in today's world?

I don't think the role of fathers has changed. Their value has increased due to increased demand and decreased supply.

What important roles do fathers fill that mothers cannot?

Successful fathers ("successful" here defined as rearing a family that thrives emotionally) function as role models for their children: to give their sons something to aspire to, and to give their daughters a model for what to look for in a future mate. They also tend to function as the primary bread-winners - not out of obligation, but due to their in-born capacity for stoicism, abstract-thinking, and a higher tolerance for pain and stress.

Women, even for all their best efforts, cannot perform these functions. A woman cannot be or accurately describe a framework of masculinity for her children. And try as she might, she will never be able to thrive in a work environment the way that a man can, except in very rare circumstances.

And finally, does today's cultural climate allow for this father to exist?

Of course. Many of our own ECs are fathers. They are living, breathing examples.

It's not that our culture doesn't allow for it. It's that our culture does not incentivize it, hence its rarity.

[–]NormalAndy4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not much different really.

As your SO is already the 'most responsible teenager in the house'- there's not a huge amount to change.

You make mild adjustments in terms of how far you can demonstrate (holding frame, bending not breaking, resilience, calm under pressure) in the face of the lesser shit tests that you get from your kids.

My 6 year old son has to know I'm there for him but he also has to take his chances and participate in the world as I shouldn't have to always be there for him. He comes back with scratches and bruises from skating and playing football. I'm happy to patch him up and commend him for his efforts.

My teenage daughter has to understand that it's ok for her to show her emotions and I will help her if she needs me. But she also understands that I am not manipulated into making a move through shouting and screaming- so she doesn't use it so often.

Now as for how they react towards each other- that is a work in progress. It's good that they challenge each other but I often have to interven so it doesn't get too far out of hand - if only so I don't have to keep repairing damage to the house!

Just keep demonstrating in line with your principles. Keep leading from the front. Parenting and raising a family is another great challenge- I enjoy it very much.

[–]TaCTurnus3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think the role of a father is to stimulate and create the atmosphere necessary to psychologically develop your son... everyone has different personalitties, strengths and weaknesses, so identify it on your son, allow him to grow stronger on that matter, and identify the areas where he has difficults and try to support and challenge him to overcome it.

[–]Hjalmbere3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Have a teenage daughter. I’m teaching her the importance of physical activity, diet, doing her homework and which people to avoid associating with. She sometimes complains that I’m too strict, I just tell her I’m her dad, not her buddy. I’ve also made it a point of getting to know the parent’s of her closest friends. So far it’s been a fairly smooth ride, but I’m aware this can change.

[–]Kurush559 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

A large part of being a good father is just being there. Even if you're a bit of a beta, or struggle to connect with your kid, it's so much better to just be present than not. There's a huuuuge wealth of statistics that prove this. I think the first step to having a more positive culture of fatherhood is just...to have more fatherhood in the first place.

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

But the topic here isn't how to be the bare minimum father.

[–]Proto_Sigma9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

You have to start somewhere. Given that such a massive portion of the population is born into single mother households and red pill men in particular have the ability to just leave and still get tail establishing the importance of staying is a fine point.

Just like when we tell people to lift, the first axiom is just LIFT. There is a rich discussion about optimized diets, form and routines that will build the body in different ways and what is best for whom at one time. But all of that is meaningless if you can’t push yourself to go the gym in the first place. Unless you’re being a complete moron about it doing something is always preferable to doing nothing.

[–]socalskweez3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

He didn't say the ONLY thing you need to do is be there. Try it and you will see. It is difficult when you want to have a life other than child-rearing. A six yo does not understandn that you have to go to the gym or that you have hobbies and you need social interaction with your friends. You just dont have the time. You sacrifice a lot to be there and be the captain that will guide your kids.

[–]dulkemaru512 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Men compete to be top dog and women surrender to him. In one manifestation or another, that's how things always go...

Red Pill means truth, hence the role of a Red Pill father ought to have something to do with it.

There's no putting anything aside. The Red Pill is that the top dog of today is a social construct in the form of a worldwide ideological virus that will always, inevitably swallow everyone and everything else, because that is its nature. The presuppositions of this Blue Pill logically lead to a LGBQT123 techno-nihilist world where boys are ruled by their inner mommies i.e. remain boys forever and who have to learn how to attract techno-nihilist sluts from techno-nihilist hipsters and magicians who, unknowingly, operate under the same presuppositions as those that made and kept them suicidal until they learned how to lubricate a twat from other Blue Pilled retards. Not recognizing this is definitionally Blue Pilled.

If we acknowledge that, however, and only then put it aside (I guess "putting it aside" means giving up on the idea of it being possible to change the above, which is false, but whatevs), we'd have to look at what it means for a father of truth to live according to truth in a world of lies. To answer that would require absolute certainty of the absolute truth of everything, so, think about that...

But for anyone who's simple, and uninterested in big hard questions, and just wants a faithful woman and an intact family (which is likely what "Red Pill Father" means to 97% of dudes here), going by the first sentence of this comment; maximize your Alpha status and minimize all other Alphas' status (whether the poolboy or the mass media narrative), by e.g. moving to a fundamentalist rural collective where you are highly respected.

... Lastly, this is a man's world. There is no "worldwide shit test" powerful enough to crumble a resolute culture and install a new one of metooing men into cages, unless the men are made non-men, which is done by forces much greater than wymyn (remember, women have no force, they just follow, they're like negative numbers; adding a -5 doesn't "give you" a -5, it just takes 5 away). So it's quite simple; impose your perspective on others and hope it works. That's what the globalist elite did, and that's why you're here looking for a reason not to blow your head off. So it definitely works. It also worked for Jesus, Plato and Marx. Which is why self-help books won't cut it cuz theyre by the Blue Pill for the Blue Pill. THINK, UNDERSTAND, SPREAD. That's how a world is changed.

[–]AshamedAwareness52 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I grew up without a father. It is NOT FUN at all. When I was a kid, I sought out a father figure ... I ended up getting taken advantage of by a predator and sexually assaulted. This is why kids who grow up without fathers are much more likely to get sexually assaulted, child molesters specifically target these kind of kids because they know they are vulnerable. I do think kids are hardwired to need a male and female presence. If I had a dad I don't think this would happened.

[–]1trueliberal12 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most of this thread is about red pill fathering of sons, but it's equally important for red pill fathers of daughters to prepare their daughters for reality.

Most women end up alone and miserable after riding the CC. They get pumped and dumped by bad boys. They become impoverished single mothers -- and single motherhood is the primary cause of childhood poverty today.

If you are raising the daughter, my advice would be to make sure she understands that...

  1. Being able to get dick isn't the same thing as being able to get a marriage proposal. Dick is cheap, gold bands aren't. Your SMV is indicated by the latter, not the former.

  2. The best offers you'll be able to get are between the ages of 20 and 25. Make sure to be husband shopping then, not at age 28-35.

  3. Lock in a man studying a valuable career in college while the two of you are still in college. You'll never have a better selection of age-appropriate, ambitious men. It gets a lot harder finding a good life-partner after college.

  4. Don't wait at the finish line trying to snag a man. All other women are doing the exact same thing. By the time the man has a good career, he either has plenty of offers or isn't interested. Snag the man before he has a six figure income and countless other women chasing him. The early bird gets the worm.

Basically, teach your daughter everything that makes it harder for me to bang and ghost her.

[–]bowsenira 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

1 - Don't give your child a smartphone. It's probably the worst thing you can do to a growing child. He will get stuck in the dopamine chasing at an age where he should be out climbing trees. His first smartphone should be the one he buys himself after earning his first wage.

2 - No internet, porn or online gaming for the above reasons.

3 - Take them camping in the wild often, teach them bushcraft and survival skills.

4 - No sweets or junk food, feed them wholesome foods all throughout their life.

5 - Get them learning a martial art at a young age. This will pay dividends when they're the only male in college who isn't an emasculated faggot.

6 - If he's still a virgin at 16.... take him to a hooker.

[–]EffigyDijjih19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

6 - If he's still a virgin at 16.... take him to a hooker.

"Hey son, I see you suck with girls.. here's a hooker, get used to them. You're gonna need 'em."

[–]six-acorn1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not a Dad, but age 31, whatever that counts for. My take:

1 - Don't give your child a smartphone.


2 - No internet or online gaming

I thought you said gambling at first lol. Agreed Video Games are terrible for life achievement. They're masturbation. Fun, addictive but ultimately worthless. I say this as someone who has wasted untold hours with them. Fight me, gamers.

Gambling though --- Board games and Poker are great for game-theory (not digital though) -- I would teach Poker (Hold'em I guess in the modern era).

3 - Take them camping in the wild often

Yeah or even fishing, boating out in the lake. Hiking. Anything really.

4 - No sweets or junk food, feed them wholesome

Good idea but can backfire from parents I know. Kids want the "forbidden fruit" and learn to hate shit you try to force-feed them. Research psychological manipulation to get them off sweets and into veggies. My own parents did this with a couple items. Act like only the adults can have the scrumptious broccoli or some shit. My parents acted like the cereal "crumbs" were a boon (they hated them growing up) and it worked like a charm.

5 - Get them learning a martial art

Yeah but let them pick it/ illusion of choice. Kids hate doing something they're "told" to do.

  1. Take him to a hooker

Or just teach him how to get women. If you're on this sub, hopefully you should have a decent foundation of it. Not sure if a hooker makes someone feel like a man vs. a woman who actually wants cock.

  1. Spank the shit out of him

Meh. I've been spanked in my youth and it was very odd. You really don't have much authority if you have to resort to this, it's more the idea of it. Pretty emasculating too. If you need discipline just take a page out of the military bootcamp or something.

[–]r80011 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not a father, nor I plan to, but I'd guess it's all about being a good model for our kids. Growing our sons confident and strong and growing our daughters without an entitled princess personality.

[–]its_meKnightSwolaire1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

To raise a man to be a real man

[–]RP_Reaper1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

A role of a proper red pill father is to bring guidance and wisdom to his children. A proper red pill father is responsible of raising his son to not become a beta male, and raising his daughter to not turn to a slut.

The father is the leader of the household, he makes all the major decisions that happens in that house and everything that happens goes through him. A father should be one who can remain stoic and calm in face of adversity setting a good example to his children.

A good father is fair with his judgement and will not deviate from his principles that he has set for himself. He ensures that he teaches his children these principles so that they could put it into practice and refining it even further so his children could be more successful than he is.

And yes, today's culture climate allow for this father to exist. Very much so and is equally challenging compared to a few decades ago.

[–]parks391 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Reading some of the comments here I just can’t help but think: you lads just won’t get it until you have a wife and kids. And I don’t wish that on you unless you’re up for the challenge.

A few years of watching your wife constantly flip her argument to suit her current mood, not disciplining kids because she just doesn’t feel up to it, asking 100 times what you want to do because she just can’t make a decision on her own.... and you’ll start to really understand what it’s like to be a husband.

It’s not sexist to realize women’s weaknesses. Men’s strengths compliment. Be unapologetically masculine and be the yin to her yang.

Without both masculine and feminine a child doesn’t grow up well balanced.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Without both masculine and feminine a child doesn’t grow up well balanced.

And this is why "gay marriage" has basically pulled the brick of Jenga that has resulted in the tower of society starting to collapse.

First they tore up the nuclear family. Then they tore up children's gender. Next they will isolate children from parents at birth.

[–]parks391 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gay marriage was the start?!!! Come on! Kids were growing up without fathers long before being gay was even tolerated

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Raising a Girl Raising a Boy
let her know that a confident male is just one that has nothing to lose, and doesn't care about you (many girls without fathers have sex with what they perceive as a father figure to feel acceptance) let him know that he is loved in spite of what the cruel world throws at him (many boys without fathers join violent gangs to feel acceptance)
allow her to do whatever men can do, without leaving her feeling like she has to prove anything to anybody (accept you're a woman but you can explore masculine traits) allow him to do whatever he wants to do without feeling like he's any less of a man (accept you're a man but you can explore feminine traits )
explain what makes a solid trustworthy man explain signs of a woman that might use/abuse a man

[–]Chaddeus_Rex1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

The number one role of dads is to raise their son with sports and education and the outdoors.

And to abort a girl if they can. Because regardless of what they do, she'll still be a lying ho.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is less red-pill, more can't-deal-with-being-hurt-by-a-girl.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

no. you don't get the point. the point is regardless of what you do, your daughter will be a ho. you can't raise daughters to be anything other than what society tells them is good.

[–]Russiantrollbot0070 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The words Father, Leader, and Man are one and the same.

A Father, is a man, who is a leader. To be a leader you must take your role and the outcomes of your actions seriously.

A Father must have a code (you make your own code, whats important to some, I could give a fuck less about).

A Father must be adaptable to a changing environment, and must be able to succeed in whatever environment he finds himself placed in; more importantly a Father learns to design the environment around him, or bend it to his will.

By designing the environment around him a Father is able to ensure certain outcomes and control unknown variables much more easily, so as to ensure success for himself. With proper thought and planning the environment is controlled by the Father, and he controls it and commands the people inside of it.

By controlling the environment, and the people inside it, the Father can now guarantees outcomes. Barring some catastrophic event.

Once a Father can guarantee outcomes, he can enforce a leadership chain and proper protocol within his sphere of control, that all members will abide by (insert your values here).

My takeaway from leading men my entire life and raising four sons is that leadership is no fucking joke, if you are a pretender all you will do is ruin those under you. Lead by example, in the trenches with those under you, so you may inspire greatness through your own actions.

Admit when you are wrong, then adapt and overcome. Listening to some fucking dipshit defend his idea that he knows is wrong is a waste of everyone's time. If you find yourself in this position it is better to publicly admit fault and guarantee a better outcome in the future. Everyday we get to become a new, better Man/Father/Leader.

[–]spider_13370 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Does the lack of a father have more of an impact on males or females?

[–]mrssmithhh1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

According to The Boy Crisis, it is worse for males. Females suffer, and have lots of negative ramifications from lack of fathers, but boys suffer MUCH more, and in more ways. Women tend to end up promiscuous due to lack of perceived value to men, but the boys end up criminal, depressed, disfunctional in nearly every way. The women at least seem to have an innnate emotional ability to find connections that gives them more purpose and resiliency, and they also usually have a ready-made blueprint for what a woman should be like, whether that is positive or not. The boys, who need more help with emotional connections and goal-setting, tend to really really suffer without a father. They only see role models of women, and have no way to learn what is a good way to channel all the demands and needs of testosterone.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think that's what people frequently misunderstand about boys - they are fragile and need love. The tough exterior gets built in the teenage years but you need an inner core of self-worth first - and that comes from the protection and love of a father in the early years.

In addition a growing man needs to understand limits and emotional stability. That, too, comes from the example of a father.

[–]CainPrice0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The primary role of the father hasn't changed. Pay the mortgage, pay for groceries, keep the lights on.

What's changed is that Dad used to be respected for that. Now everybody rolls their eyes at the very notion that any man is worthy of respect for something as baseline as having a job and supporting his family.

Modeling a normal marriage used to be partially Dad's responsibility, too. The way Mom and Dad interacted in front of the kids and their division of household responsibilities, the way Mom respected Dad, the way Dad took care of mom - this was supposed to model good relationships for the children. That's not really a thing any more.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Now large corporations are telling their men, on a weekly basis, that they are over-privileged and that women should be preferentially employed instead.

Well, feminists, that's a win for you in your youth - but once you marry and want to stay home with the kids are you proud your husband will find it extremely difficult to find another job now that men are actively being discriminated against in the workplace?

[–]iamrsj0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Simple, raise good kids who can think on their own. Kids with good morals, critical thinking skills, positive growth mindset, ability to get through tough challenges, well adjusted, happy and have the ability to pass these character lessons onto their kids if they decide to have them.

The role of the father hasn't changed imo. Red Pill Dads can do it better by being more real with their kids (real as in authentic)

[–]BurnoTaurus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Son, that cape might be cool to your nerdy little friends, but you're never gonna get any pussy doing that. See little susie over there? In a couple years you could be munching that snatch if you...."

Only the cape can be "VR Porn" or "But Daaaaaad! My Xbox!" or "Im questioning my birth gender" or "lets pay a man to hack off my penis and give me pills to make me your new daughter"

It gets deeper though. The role of the redpill father is ultimately to open his sons eyes to all the various manifestations of the bluepill, of being enslaved to the modern world, or even enslaved to some strange god or cult, some pastiche wet dream of the old world. He would teach him how best to recognize, at all times, where the true power lays in any interaction.

You give him the tools to recognize when someone is trying to take advantage of him, so that he can get the upper hand and have the best shot at living as his own man.

[–]Goddamnhologram0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The role of fathers is to A. keep their sons from becoming terrors to society and B. create men who positively influence their community. Might not be a popular idea around here, but boys raised without dads or some kind of positive male influence typically don't turn out great. Women are incapable of raising boys into men. There's a lot of hormonal shit that needs to channeled into positive energy between puberty and age 25 and if that shits not channeled you end up with criminals, perverts, and a repetitive cycle of teenage pregnancy. Things like military service, football, Boy Scouts, etc used to serve that role, but those institutions are going away. Even the Army is cucked beyond repair. Dads are more important than ever. Most of these shooters are angst ridden disenfranchised incels who were raised by single moms.

[–]TheTrueLordHumungous0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Putting aside the complexities of marriage or starting a family outside of marriage (which is IMO preferable to marriage), what should be the role of fathers to their children in today's world?

Teacher, protector and provider. Roles uniquely suited for men.

What important roles do fathers fill that mothers cannot?

Fathers are the model for men. As the man most involved in the formative years of a child’s life, a father is this single greatest influence for how a child will perceive gender roles. A weak father will produce weak sons and overbearing daughters who will then dominate their own partners (usually).

What important concessions should a father avoid making to maintain his position as father?

Don’t allow yourself to be emasculated by your spouse. This doesn’t mean be an asshole or uncompromising, but do not allow anyone to disrespect you, ESPECIALLY your wife. You children will view your disrespect as something that’s acceptable and they will then disrespect you. Sow your children that a marriage is a partnership built on a foundation of love, respect and communication.

And finally, does today's cultural climate allow for this father to exist?

Yes. While our current elite culture is completely debased and while its true this debasement it filtering down to the masses you are ultimately the captain of your own ship.

[–]realta6660 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Teaching and revealing the truth of reality by honesty not by a fantasy

Guidance to equip children with tools they will need for their lives, not for how parents want them to live

Leadership by a genuine sense of duty and obligation and not from an egotistical standpoint

Setting an example through actions, not by demands

Never setting an expectation on a child that the parent never could or will reach

[–]LateralThinker130 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What important roles do fathers fill that mothers cannot?

Male Role model. Strong, competent, capable. People don't have heroes these days. Somebody who sets the standard for behavior. Because today's women surely don't. Men KNOW you can't "have it all", whereas the Strong Independent Women still live under that delusion (and crush themselves with it). We don't have heroes these days. A father should be his kid's hero.

What important concessions should a father avoid making to maintain his position as father?

Never lose frame. It is possible, with stringent vetting and self-maintenance to get and keep a woman and have kids with her. It's more work than many want to do, but it's quite possible to be a husband/father without letting her keep your testicles in her purse.

And finally, does today's cultural climate allow for this father to exist?

Yes. But again, you have to find the right woman. There are few quality women out there in this climate. Most of them are too busy trying to be men (working overtime, acting masculine, carousel, neglecting femininity, etc.)

[–]re4d30 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

To keep a watchful eye on their daughters not to fall easy prey to local "ugh fpin plates bro" bros. To get them married virgins and young, thus maximizing their chances to snatch a valuable man on their youth, to have kids, lasting family and to avoid fate of alpha widow spinsterhood and all that feminism shit.

Ps.father of young daughters from central Europe.

[–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't know if you're being sarcastic or not, but in the event you're not - you should really read the sidebar.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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