Dropped an LTR for „not telling“ the truth. Have I overreacted?

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September 3, 2019

For context: I’d never say at this point that I have fully swallowed the red pill completely. I’d said, I am RP-aware and try to apply it to my everyday life:

  • Lifting
  • Martial arts (and competing)
  • studying to improve job opportunities (about to switch jobs in a few weeks into a higher position and 40% pay raise)
  • meditation
  • reading RP material
  • healthy diet and so on

Ok so this just happened a few hours ago.

Was seeing this girl for several months now. Before that: months of Intensive vetting, „a lot of green flags“ , mentally stable, good and ambitious in her job, high EQ yada yada yada.

About a few days ago she went to her home country to visit her parents and to attend a wedding (about 500 km from where we live). Shortly before she left I noticed a first smaller „not telling“ the truth phenomena (read: lie). When the wedding came up for the very first time, she tells me that a friend of hers is getting married, but that suddenly changed to her being the „plus 1“. Called her out on it immediately. She first tries to spin the story, but I cut that sh*t down immediately (pretty bad experience with gaslighting during my BP-years, so I react pretty allergic to such things) Short shit show - she was apologetic and I made clear that this is the first and last time this shit happens. (Maybe I should have dropped her here already?)

A few hours ago we were on the phone. Suddenly she tells me that she is sleeping at a friends place (this is news!) after the wedding. I ask who the friend is. She’s reluctant to answer. Tries to switch to another topic and makes proposals on what we should do once she’s back. I repeat my question. She tells me that it’s „just a guy-friend“ from university back then and that she is his „plus 1“. (In my head: I f*cking knew it). I hang up and go to work.

The following hours she blew up my phone with calls and messages. I don’t answer/reply (ffs, I am at work!). After work I go through the messages. A lot of BS like „I know I should have told you before, but I didn’t want to have a scene after last time etc.“/ looks to stay at one of her gf-places/hotels & makes again proposals that we should go out for dinner once she’s back and so on.

I text her that she should have known that it wouldn’t have made difference if she intended to sleep at that guy’s place in the first place and that it’s over. Blocked her from my contacts.

The reason why I am writing this is, that I had pretty bad time with abundance mentality and trusting people after I got cheated on in the worst possible way during my BP-years. And I am obviously not eager to go through that shit again and to let history repeat itself.

But I am wondering if I have overreacted on this? Or if I misunderstand abundance mentality at this point?

Thanks a lot in advance!

Post Information
Title Dropped an LTR for „not telling“ the truth. Have I overreacted?
Author throwaway_over_9K
Upvotes 261
Comments 149
Date 03 September 2019 05:47 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/251546
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/cz87gb/dropped_an_ltr_for_not_telling_the_truth_have_i/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
abundancecheatinglong term relationshipliftthe red pillgaslighting

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev278 points279 points  (7 children) | Copy

„I know I should have told you before, but I didn’t want to have a scene after last time etc.

Translation: "I lied because I didn't want to have to face the consequence of my own actions."

[–]hedden9365 points66 points  (3 children) | Copy

Women love this one. Such a disintegritious move.

[–]11poster9255 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

because she cares.


[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy


[–]red2hilt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

not exactly, disingenuous means lacking in candor, he means they have a lack of integritiousity.

[–]sebastianconcept30 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy

Actually in my dictionary it translates to:

“I lied because I was strategizing you, betting that I wouldn’t get caught or if caught you would accept my imposed beta-cuckness on you”

[–]IndiansSmellLikePoo37 points38 points  (1 child) | Copy

I picked up on women doing this before my red pill days. After learning the material this made a lot mkre sense. Women for the most part do this because they are guided by emotions and not principles/morals.

[–]AshyBoneVR48 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women for the most part do this because they are guided by emotions and not principles/morals.

Or Logic.

[–]boy_named_su164 points165 points  (8 children) | Copy

ya man. you did good. you didn't fuck up

the fact that she didn't invite you to the wedding was the first warning...

[–]baoschunny93 points94 points  (1 child) | Copy

the fact that she didn't invite you to the wedding was the first warning...


[–]babybopp43 points44 points  (0 children) | Copy

The fact that she had planned this shit for weeks prior is the first warning... what else do u think OP has been oblivious to?

[–]imtheoneimmortal9 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy

Because she doesn’t want him around? He seem high smv guy that’s weird

[–]caius10029 points30 points  (1 child) | Copy

The guy over there probably was too

[–]imtheoneimmortal11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

This guy is lifting, martial art competitive and good salary job wtf Is she a model 8?

[–]Bedtimeshine27 points28 points  (2 children) | Copy

She didn’t invite him to the wedding because was some other guys date.

[–]thesoloronin1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’d probably say she could’ve wanted invited OP and let it become a 3some but she probably classified OP as a slightly “Nicer Guy” and wanted to Beta Bucks him. Anyway good call to OP for kicking her ass to the curb.

[–]Bedtimeshine13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

She couldn’t have invited anybody. She wasn’t invited to this wedding, she was a plus 1. She was a some guys date.

[–]Pimpcool420294 points295 points  (19 children) | Copy

Good move.

It's oddly satisfying to read this, actually. Not in an LTR and never had this type of scenario but I'd like to think I'd be as strong as you.

[–]lilgoatedboy105 points106 points  (12 children) | Copy

I was about to say the same thing, after skimming relationship advice seeing someone have a set of balls is refreshing.

[–]DerpJungler40 points41 points  (10 children) | Copy

after skimming relationship advice

Why are you doing this to yourself? That subreddit is the fucking plague.

[–]lilgoatedboy32 points33 points  (2 children) | Copy

Good question, I'm banned now anyways for my "toxic advice." Lmao.

[–]circlingdispair32 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy

you spelt "real world advice" wrong

[–]linkschode0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]mrrooftops29 points30 points  (4 children) | Copy

Sometimes it's good to remind yourself just how the fat body of the bell curve thinks

[–]Pimpcool42015 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Strictly research purposes, lol

[–]I_Dont_Type3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Better than any cringe subreddit

[–]Deathrow221 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Awardspeechedits would like to have a word with you

[–]bk_eg13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

dude, relationship advice subreddit is an amazing comedy sub! I spend hours there laughing my ass of.

[–]thesoloronin10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

I got banned on AskReddit when I pointed out in a sub-comment that “women take no responsibility for their consequences”. Mod then told me to explain how my comment violated their rules and how I’d behave moving forward. Then I realised the ban lift just wasn’t worth it.

[–]hmsthinkingmeat9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

skimming relationship advice

I love that subreddit, it gives you an amazing insight into the inner working of the vast majority of people's minds when it comes to relationships.

Most of them have some fantasy / Hollywood mentality, and believe that their / unicorn / special princess is different and would never do the dirty on them, and yet...

...their behaviour is the same as all the other hoes, the words are the same as all the other cheaters, and the updates usually reveal that they lied and trickle truthed just like all the other hoes.

You can have great fun over there by just telling people how it really is.

Surviving infidelity is another good one - "My LTR cheated on me a zillion times but I lubs her - should I go for reconciliation and try make it work?"

They're pathetic some of them.

[–]IndiansSmellLikePoo41 points42 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah respect to this guy

Doing this will make her realise that shit decisions have shit results

[–]babybopp50 points51 points  (2 children) | Copy

One of the things OP inadvertently does not seem to realize is....

OP, just for one second forget the actual day she was with this dude and think about the weeks before of planning, scheming and premeditation she had been doing behind your back. That by itself is a disqualifying mark. She planned this shit behind your back. It was not by chance.

Then ask yourself, what else do you think she has been doing without your knowledge.

[–]IndiansSmellLikePoo24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think many guys in LTR pass off stuff like this like oh well I'll trust what she says. I've done this kinda stuff myself. Women are a lot smarter than what people give credit for in a romantic sense. It hurts guys a lot.

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20020 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This! Just for that alone you should never take her back.

[–]Schhwing17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. It’s satisfying because he set a perfectly respectable boundary and stood by it.

[–]abomba246 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree. Was waiting to see some top comment saying otherwise but I believe this is spot on.

Maybe only critique is your reaction the first time was too strong? Clearly got the point across to her this is not acceptable but maybe could have come off BP caring too much? Anyhow minor point, nice work.

[–]ErectileDistention[🍰] 172 points173 points  (4 children) | Copy

Obviously you are in the wrong. She's a delicate creature and you are behaving like a chauvinistic pig. She just wants have fun and fuck her friend, and you acting all jealous. I despise you!

[–]hedden9352 points53 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol probably not far off from what her friends are saying

[–]vintageBiscuit25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't usually do this, but - lol, but so true.

OP - calm down and carry on. IMHO you did fine.

[–]circlingdispair11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

he's such an controlling loser too! she obviously should be to cc ride on his dime without consequence !!

[–]shark30k0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I just want to say this comment was Sarcasm because I'm afraid someone might take it seriously.

[–][deleted] 123 points124 points  (0 children) | Copy

You were correct in dropping her. You should go no contact, etc.

You’re also correct to ask if you’re over-correcting based on your past of being cheated on.

It’s nice to hear this situation. Usually the guy is trying to talk himself into staying with her instead of doing the right thing.

[–]BusterVadge46 points47 points  (2 children) | Copy

you absolutely did the right thing. First she lied to you, second, it was a date, and she's going to get fucked. That's what people do after weddings.

[–]Greaterbird14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's what people do at the bachelorette party as well.

[–]1DullIntroduction91 points92 points  (24 children) | Copy

Y'all gotta stop with this "green flag" bullshit. It's doesn't mean anything, and tends to blindside you. She's got a vagina? Green flag. That is not the point of vetting.

That being said, lying is a big no no. You should have enforced boundaries better in the past.

[–]NorsemanLewis46 points47 points  (17 children) | Copy

Boundaries are set during the relationship, not beforehand. OP obviously made it clear he will not tolerate lying, and when she crossed the line, OP put his foot on the table and threw her away. Well done, and professionally executed. But the idea of "should have made boundaries" is just silly, no one opens a book on the first date and tells a plate what she can or cannot do. You set boundaries based on your frame, and during the relationship.

[–]1DullIntroduction2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

When I said "enforced", I meant stopping the relationship the first time it happened, because of course, it will happen again.

[–]NorsemanLewis1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

That is also an approach. The zero tolerance approach.

Thing is, most "normal" girls today consider her actions as socially normal. Zero tolerance would not be setting a boundary, but a purge policy. I'm just assuming OP did not read her a book of his boundaries like a social robot would do in the first date, and I think it is okay when theres a little room to "set" the boundary. If we stop the relationship every time the other side does something crossing our boundaries, no relationship will be an LTR

Edit: If we stop the relationship every first time* the other side crosses the boundary

[–]1DullIntroduction1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Depends on how critical is the crossed boundary.

While small issues are easily corrected, not lying should be obvious and with no need to "set" boundaries, meaning lying is a serious offense that should not be tolerated.

If honesty is not obvious, the LTR should not exist.

[–]NorsemanLewis4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You know what, you're right. I generalized the situation too much. Lying is a no no.

The reason I commented in such a way, is because I think OP did well on his reaction, regardless, and I think his actions should be praised as OP is not really complaining and asking for advice about "fixing the situation".

Either way, you are right when it comes to lying like she did. Zero tolerance would be appropriate.

[–]Momo_dollar1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Dude. Give it a rest. You clearly have little to know experience with women and think it’s all zeros and ones. She lied, he told her don’t do it again. She crossed he’s red line and he dropped her.

[–]1DullIntroduction0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

You're the one with the binary thinking, assuming I treat every issue the same way. I'm not, read the thread again.

Honesty is paramount to a healthy LTR, and should be valued as such. If you think it's not, you're as much of a fool as OP.

[–]NorsemanLewis1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I agree with the honesty part, but it still is not something that is "set" in society. Most women who are considered normal view what she did as "acceptable" and would argue that OP needs to get off her back and chill, as it is "just a friend" and some sort of "a reunion".

I agree with you that such a lie is never acceptable, but these things happen often with most women and a male will encounter lying attempts sooner or later.

The whole point is that OP reacted to it properly. He did not do something wrong by telling her he will not tolerate lies the first time she did it (which was very shortly before the second time by the way), as long as he stood by his word and dropped her the moment she did it again.

[–]1DullIntroduction1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fair enough.

[–]mrrooftops4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy

Boundaries are set before AND during. Those with strong boundaries exude this before a relationship happens, thus attracting healthier minded partners. Those who communicate poor boundaries only attract unhealthier people.

[–]rcavictor603 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Something I think about sometimes-There is no real enforcing of boundaries possible. A boundary can be annihilated anytime your partner wants to run over it-you then have to divorce yourself from the situation; if you need to go through a real divorce, well ha ha. If you are sitting there saying here's something you can't do, guess what, there are a million things that are unacceptable. We are looking for people- friends, women, workout buddies-who already know both 1. how to not be an asshole and 2. they don't want to be an asshole.

[–]NorsemanLewis0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

I agree, but enforcing these boundaries happens during a relationship. When I say "relationship" it mean since meeting the woman to current time. You physically cannot enforce boundaries before the woman crosses them. If that was possible, there would be no need in enforcing anything. OP did a great job enforcing the boundaries. There was no way to avoid the lie, no matter what kind of "boundaries" he would put before the relationship on their literal first meeting. The girl has to cross the line in order for a frame and boundaries to be established during a relationship with her.

[–]mrrooftops0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

You command respect, not demand it. If you have to reinforce boundaries then you aren't commanding enough respect in the first place.

[–]NorsemanLewis6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

Read what I wrote again. Where have I said "Re-enforcing" anything? Thinking you can avoid such a situation simply by behaving in a certain manner, is delusion. Boundaries are established by stating them (or showing) and by enforcing. Before the two steps happen - there is no boundary. Your point is completely out of context with what I wrote.

Girl crossed a boundary that was stated, she was put into place by OP. She crossed it again, she flew out of the relationship. Everything happened as it should be. No one is perfect, and there is no way to control every single woman, that is the reason these boundaries exist in the first place.

Edit: typos

[–]mrrooftops-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

Think about it

[–]NorsemanLewis0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I did not disagree with you, your comment is not on the same topic though.

[–]mrrooftops-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

It is, you just don't know it yet. Out.

[–]NorsemanLewis2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sure pal

[–]proplfax28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy

what boundary was going to stop her from hiding all of this?

[–]mrrooftops6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Particularly toxic people generate 'green flags' to lock you down so they can release the hounds of their red flags once you've got oneitis. Too many green flags is the biggest red flag.

[–]Andrew5432111 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Healthy upbringing with strong connection to mother and father for LTR vetting? GREEN FLAG

She says “we’re not having sex tonight” and we actually do? SLUT GREEN FLAG

[–]Snowaey2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

fax, betas just use green flags to rationalize red flags lmfao

[–]mrrooftops0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Anglerfish wave fluorescent green flags in front of their mouths in the dark depths of the ocean...

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

There are no green flags. Only red ones

[–]MrAnderzon31 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy

You did the right thing breaking up wth her. You did it once getting a GF. You can do it again.

[–]TheHumbleAfrican66 points67 points  (4 children) | Copy

Translation: This is probably an ex, who she had a thing with and was going to this wedding as an excuse to have a fling with him. That is not okay, but a lot of women do this. What is really bad is the lies and the distraction from the issue at hand (changing the topic and making plans while you press her on her lies).

She might have a lot going for her, but she has no integrity. In any sort of relationship, even between siblings, relatives, boss/employee etc, there has to be integrity, which makes us "trust" the other person. Love doesn't have to be there for a relationship to work. It is a nice to have imo.

You cannot trust her. You, therefore did the right thing. If you taker her back, she will never respect you. She may be hooking up with her ex because he's the alpha, and she views you as the higher value beta provider that will give her long term security and provisioning. That is okay, you shouldn't be disappointed at this notion. Work on yourself, and be the alpha you want to be. Dumping her and having an abundance mindset is what is best for you right now.

A little empathy: Being cheated on sucks and it feels terrible, and leaves you asking questions about yourself. Take heart my friend. A lot of us have been through it. It is a learning experience, and it makes us better and stronger.

[–]thesoloronin5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ma Red Pill brother from another mother! 🍻🍻

[–]hmsthinkingmeat2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

It is a learning experience, and it makes us better and stronger.

This is true, if my ex-wife hadn't been such an utter cunt I'd still be BP'd as fuck.

Kicking her out and divorcing her was the start of my journey to rembering that I'm, and acting like a man rather than a pussy whipped gimp.

[–]Stargazer3420 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yuh did the RIGHT thing buddy. Move on and dont hurt your neck lookin back!

[–]mismm 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Lol so she went to a wedding as another man's date, when she could have just gone alone, then slept at his place and you're wondering if you're overreacting?


[–]sebastianconcept8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, she didn’t even care on her story, she was asking to be put into her place. Next!

[–]biop77716 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

She lied and is staying at a guys house (same guy she’s going with) after a wedding where she will be drinking.

Massive red flag, you dodged a bullet

I’ve had long term friendships with girls who may have done this BUT I was always introduced to the BF and I NEVER crossed the line or thought of it.

[–]Hedser9115 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Apparently it was good to lie about the guy-friend according to her. If he was just a friend there wouldn't be a reason to lie right? She seems fishy. Get rid of her before she fucks you up.

[–]throwitdownman29 points30 points  (2 children) | Copy

Hang in there. Let me first by saying you did the right thing, for yourself. You are the priority in your life, and you should not have to deal with this excuse of a relationship and this low quality women. 100%, I would do the same.

Let me also balance it out by being brutally honest. By dropping her, it guarantees she’ll sleep with him. Had you not hard nexted, there are cases where the girl ‘hangs out’ with a guy, ends up getting cold feet (or cockblocked), creates drama, and doesn’t actually do anything. You might feel cucked right now. You might feel like you ‘gave’ her away, and now he’s balls deep in her.

But IT NO LONGER MATTERS. Let me repeat, what she does, your attachment to her, and her life is no longer your concern. Sever those ties. It’s a hard mindset to develop but I truly think it’s the correct mindset. Take this opportunity to acknowledge, and also manage your emotions.

[–]mabden21 points22 points  (1 child) | Copy

Or the complete opposite occurs, she was going to have the nice wedding experience, diner, dancing, drinking, romance and get railed by an old comfortable dick. But op pulled the plug on all that by not accepting her bullshit. She is left with the consequences of her deceit, blames the ex because awalt, her night ruined, she sends the guy on his way. The only variable is her belief she can convince the op to stay with her.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

A fun thing could be to break up with her but keep the hope alive that she can fix it so that maybe she doesn't sleep with the guy because she'll want to 'get back into his good graces'. Once she comes back from the wedding, break up with her.

If she didn't get dick, you ruined her night and many subsequent nights to come. hehehe

[–]NolanKnowstheTruth12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

She wasn't even invited to the wedding, she's his plus one, which means this was an entirely calculated decision to see him, the wedding is just the cover story.

[–]gyunbie10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy

She will never stop lying. Hell she could've even slept with the guy, who knows?

[–]OguzOgier5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Could have? lol

[–]gyunbie1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

As I remember, you are the guy who was trying to make ex a plate to get an "ego boost" lol. I think you made yourself an RP in a month (?).

The thing is, does it matter if she slept with the guy or not? My point here is she was lying, she still can be lying and she will lie again. Kısaca önce kendi bokunu topla sonra gelip burda yorum yaparsın

[–]OguzOgier0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why are you acting like a bitch, I just made a joke lmao, ağla

[–]Colt42O8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well played man, she was trying to hide the fact that she was going to a wedding with an old college friend (old fuckbuddy?) and staying the night at his place. That in and of itself is enough to cut all ties, you did good.

[–]Sove1315 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's cheating, next

[–]Bedtimeshine5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Going to a wedding with another guy is a deal breaker, period.

[–]lifecostsmoney4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nope, next. Lying is a testament to character. Never stay with a bird who lies to you.

[–]maverick97595 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

" we're done darling. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to go shopping for someone hotter now. "

Yup. That's the way it's done brother 👍

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why would any straight guy invite a girl to be his +1 if he wasn't at the very least considering the possibility of fucking her? She would also know this. Even if she had no plans on sleeping with the guy, she would have known that the guy always had a thing for her.

If I had to guess, I would say she probably wasn't planning on sleeping with the guy, but you still did the right thing.

[–]sjswander942 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good job my dude that’s absolutely 100% the right call. It’s a tough thing to follow through with. Keep moving forward on to the next.

[–]TBtgoat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Proud of you brotha. You did the right thing, I don't need to tell you why. Good shit

[–]febreze_air_freshner2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Right choice my guy. She obviously knows her staying at a male friends place is crossing boundaries so she should have “looked to stay at gfs place” from the get go.

[–]Yog-Nigurath2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's abundance mentality. You know that if you drop her, you can get another one without problems.

[–]Schhwing2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

No you haven’t overreacted. You did the right thing.

What’s the alternative? To let her back if she sleeps over at a guys place and possibly fucks him. Not a good precedent to set.

[–]SpinPlates2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dropping an LTR is never a bad thing.

There is always greener pastures. People change and grow in different directions. Never get involed seriously with a women in today's society. There is no benefit to an LTR.

You did the correct thing.

[–]anonimo422 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You did good bro. Red flag after red flag. Things weren't adding up. Your subconscious was on her from the get go. Carry on what you're doing. AWALT.

[–]Treatscatscrave2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Once a woman is cheating, planning to cheat you dump her. Simple as that. It is a clear, unequivocal sign that she has gone off you and no longer loves you because she knows that it will hurt you badly.

It is one of those situations where you have to pick the lesser of two evils. Sure you will miss her but she WILL lose any respect for you if you take her back having had another man's cock in her.

So you choose temporary misery over a lifetime of viciousness, shit tests and downright depravity.

Men are able to wholly separate sex from love; this is why, to the faux disgust of her feminist 'sisters' , wiser women stick by a man even if he is unfaithful.

You are not a woman and have absolutely done the right thing by dumping her. No second chance on this.

[–]4thAndLong18 points19 points  (4 children) | Copy

Demote her to plate if she's hot enough. I would have ended the LTR also. One lie snowballs into another and then another.

[–]andyturbo2000 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Don’t even demote. OP needs some damn respect for himself. Next and move on.

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20022 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy


Never did get the whole "demote an LTR to a plate". This is YOUR PARTNER, not some random woman.

They've obviously been through a lot, so you can't just demote them.

You either stay with them or get rid of them. The latter is always advised in situations like this.

[–]LiteraIIyJesus2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If a bitch disrespects you she don't deserve your dick. You're the prize.

[–]RiffRaffAmerican21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

Na, you cut the cancer from your life and move on.

[–]Blaze-Bless1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You done good man, might have the odd doubt here or there, that's normal, just absorb it and keep moving forward, you did yourself a favor in the big picture. Keep fighting the good fight.

[–]FlyingSexistPig1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women lie. If you're going to be in a relationship with one, you're going to have to accept this fact.

But I commend you on your decision and conviction.

[–]Lightways4341 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You did the right thing

[–]mrdeeds19721 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wiser's slow clap

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she’s mentally stable then why are you surprised that she doesn’t date someone who reads the red pill content on a regular basis?

[–]Redditgoodaccount1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Fuckin A man, handled almost perfectly (you lost your shit a bit but it's ok)

What's a "plus 1" tho?

[–]Alphainprogress1231 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Plus one is when someone goes to an event as someone's date. The guy she went to the wedding with, received an invitation inviting him + 1 guest to the wedding. So she went to the wedding as the guy's (+ 1).

[–]Redditgoodaccount0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

thanks now I know something new

[–]yungplayz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can anyone please explain me what is the difference between a friend getting married and inviting you and you being a plus one? Aren't those two ways to tell the exact same thing?

[–]prrraveen1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man, You have some balls and abundance. I still feel emotionally fucked when I cut contact with a girls, even when I am seeing her for 2 weeks. I know its beta trait

[–]Yashugan001 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

you did the right thing, she's mid-swing on her monkey branch, or full steam ahead on the cock carousel.

> But I am wondering if I have overreacted on this?

Yes, but not why you think:

> Blocked her from my contacts.

makes you look butt-hurt. And she'll sleep with the guy just to spite you and justify it as you having blocked her. (which of course, there's a likelihood she did already but now she can shift blame to you)

The blocking comes later, first let her play her hand by sending you long texts to which you don't reply.

[–]Treatscatscrave1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also remember word gets around. You forgive this and those in your social circle will forever have you pegged as a chump/weak/cuckold/pushover. The relationship will stumble along until she ups the ante and eventually she breaks it off because SHE is thoroughly disgusted with your tolerance of her shit.

You get with an attractive girl, you tell her you tolerated being cucked or word gets to her. Instant turn-off.I

Doesn't matter how jacked, charming you are, a timid little beta who DOES actually walk when his girlfriend cheats will be better than you.

Women want a man who will walk and has balls. Like a child respects a parent who disciplines them.

[–]AshyBoneVR41 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Every relationship is built on trust. She destroyed that trust, she destroyed yalls relationship.

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20020 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


Whether it's business, partnership, friendship, any kind of "ship" - trust is the glue which holds it together.

[–]gains_o_clock1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Holy crap man. I wanna be like you when I grow up lol

Rock solid

[–]lazydogg91 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You did good. No contact. Now just don't get weak and unblock her. That cheating hoe needs to be out of your life. Also remember AWALT

[–]Nfuckedmeup1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Textbook RP in my opinion. She tested you once (lied about the wedding) and you put her in her place. You gave her a chance and a possibility to redeem herself. She goes to the wedding and does the same shit (lies about where she stays) and therefore she loses her chance. Then you cut her off completely. Fucking brutal. Well done.

I hope that if I have to face a situation similar to yours that I would be strong enough to pull it.

[–]tikitheman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

While I applaud you for dropping her assuming she doesn't talk her way back in....

This is an example of insufficient dread in an LTR.

The fact that she is willing to go 500km away and chill with an old friend says it all.

A woman properly dreaded will be more worried about what you are doing when she is away.

[–]cluelessguitarist1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Went through something similar, drop her to plate, if she wants you back she will do anything to contact you, no date just tell her to come to your house and tell her to make it up to you(use her as your personal sexdoll). Dont believe her drama, dont discuss drama just tell her to fuck your brains out if she doesnt comply tell her to leave. No phone talk, no long text prior to this.

If a woman respects her man, she will try not to put herself in a position that could create drama or confusion(creating jealousy n shit, women that do this are really insecure). If she says that you are insecure, remind her that you have boundaries and wont take her shit. Dont be emotional, be cold and direct.

[–]iwviw0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

i think every guy knows if his gf is a thot or not. you can tell. im judging by your reaction that you think she was banging chad and not sleeping over a beta friends house.

[–]NobodyP10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good job honestly your further then I am with this journey

[–]quijote30000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well done

[–]macheagle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Brother, you did the right thing. You learned from the past and applied it to the present. Never take BS lies - they are just the tip of the iceberg. If those are what she was willing to reveal - imagine the things she has or will have kept to herself a year, 3 years, or 5-10 years down the road. You dodged a bullet and should be happy about it. Go have a whack, clear your head, and move on.

[–]menial_optimist0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You gave her the chances, she fucked herself. She will learn from this and make sure not to tell her future betacuck anything that could reveal her plans. Maybe she wanted to be caught. Maybe she knew she was being bad. If that wasn't the case, she was stupid for not even keeping her story straight or having a good cover story.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

happy cake day faggot

[–]WhoKnows24680 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're a strong dude. You put logic in front of emotions. Good job bro. I too am trying to be like that.

[–]camoactivated0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She was cheating bro. Fr

[–]mickJagermeisterr0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Huge respect for you. I would have done the same. Good job, you will find a better girl

[–]sebastianconcept0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

For sure you didn’t overreacted. Just reacted firmly on her behavior that was not LTR at all.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Make sure you delete her text thread AND her number, delete her photos off your phone, delete her and CLOSEST friends off ALL your social media. Never speak to her or about her again. As of right now she's dead to you.

[–]KidGrizz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good job OP.

[–]Rick_White0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No overreaction. You played that perfectly.

She will hide things from you that she thinks you might get upset with; not a great way to have a relationship.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Cientocincuenta0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Bro, you da man.

[–]BotThatSaysBro1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

bro 😎💪

[–]goathunter050 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nah fair play tbh. Good job got for taking shit

[–]Fukboi13990 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You did everything right.

[–]addwater0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good call, OP.

Nailed it, to be frank.

[–]The_crow_from_heaven0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Any update op? I guess by now one of her friends or family should've already contacted you to take her back and that she's sorry. If nothing happened that means she's happily getting banged by that +1 guy. You dodged a potential Bazooka before it could've left you in devastation.

More power to you!

[–]HeadingRed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

One of my ex's was the beard for a gay friend she had since highschool. She went to a couple of weddings with him to cover for his family. She said something like "I'd never go with a straight guy - weddings are to hormonal and every woman their wants to have sex that night"

Weddings are female Viagra. Road trips = crazy porn quality sex - banging on the hotel balcony, kinky shit, etc. Mix the two and you've get a recipe for a good time if your going with her - and a good time for her and someone else if you're not going.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Demote her to a sex plate before throwing in the entire towel.

or not if you don't like fucking liars

[–]merilius-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sorry what does ,,plus 1" and BP-years mean?

[–]DoktorValue1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

BP is blue bill. When you're invited to a wedding or party you may get a +1 which means you can invite anyone of your choice.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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