714,030 posts

Lack of comforting or pulling?

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August 31, 2019
9 upvotes

About Me:

European.

I'm 41, wife 38, 2 kids 8 & 11, together 18y, married 12y. Blue pill for so long, began TRP about 2 years ago.

Lurker for 3 years. Discovered TRP 3 years ago.

Career:Good situation

Physical: Lifting - 4 years & Martial Arts - 3 years. 13%BF. Some IOI from women, mostly at my job place. Still work to do.

Meditating: 1 per week., to improve.

Cultural: I have founded a cultural club to develop my passion, I'm leadin this club right now.

Dread : From beginning of this year, I raised dread level to 6-7. Slowly climbed from lowest level on previous years.

Game: Fuck it, I'm bad.

Frame : I'm good at it. It's been a long way since I'm implsive by nature.

Relations: I've got many acquaintances, old friends, work ones, sports one, and others from the cultural club I'm leading, with people looking up to me.

Marriage control: I'm mostly doing everything for us, from finances to holidays, through school management & kids activities. I do a little bit less chores than her, and she'll never stop complaining about this.

I come from a very long way, blue pill everywhere in my surroundings. Still a faggot, yes. Working on it, always.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi Guys.

Lurker requiring your advice.

About 4/5 years ago I had to move to friends'bedroom since my wife's snoring was getting too loud & constant, which was a huge blow for our intimacy. I pushed her to do something for long, and last year, she followed the advice of a physician going for a surgery, but it didn't change anything - probably bad advice from the doctor.

She was more sporty than me at the beginning of our relationship, but has abandoned her last physical activity 2years ago. She's almost always tired. As you guess, wife didn't improve in terms of weight these years - rather the opposite - sex is unusual (3 times a month) but not always bad. I'm almost never rejected.

She's got the habit of waking up really early to watch news on TV, and on evenings she's too tired to do anything past kids go-to-sleep's time. On weekends she tends to cave in & bitch on chores, I go outside with kids, doing stuff. Difficult to get intimacy or even any fun activity in these conditions. The only exception is a drink with colleagues afterwork, which I tend to dislike a little bit too publicly.

I was slowly crawling lowest dread levels for long. Last years' holidays have been quite rough on me, as wife was kind of sick (no medication involved, so I assume it was mostly tiredness) and I had to take care for everything. During this winter she went beyond my NO to buy a electronical cook machine which was more than expensive. I did not even organize mid-spring family weekend as the previous year's one was rather warmly received. She changed job to a more stressing but more rewarding one, 1 year ago.

In July I organized full-relaxation holidays in a place both her and kids love. At the end of the holidays, I quietly told her I needed more intimacy & doing stuff together in our relationship, because it's been lacking for too long. I told her I needed to know if it can be done in our relation, or not. Seemed almost innocent at the moment, but her reaction wasn't.

On the day after, she told me she "needed time to think" and she left to sleep at her sis' house. She was absent almost every evening, leading me to do stuff on my own quickly enough. Didn't change for more than a month now, fortunately our kids were at grandpa's most of the time.

Since then, it's cold treatment and some "I need time to think on our relationship - I'm lost". She almost doesn't speak to me, the only answer I had was "I don't know if I really love you anymore - I feel so much inferior to you - would you be OK if I continue to watch every evening the shit sitcom with the kids ? (I wouldn't appreciate, I said) - I need more time to know if we can go on". A plugged friend told me that maybe I exerced too much dread on her with everything I was doing, and that she was probably overwhelmed, so I should probably pull a little bit by giving her some space.

But, in the meantime, she didn't attend several meetings with my family (birthday/parties), left to a party she wasn't even invited to when I told an old friend to come at our house. The only birthday she came at, she was most of the afternoon in a huff. I'm just back from short hiking holidays with the kids where she didn't want to come (doesn't like hiking that much, she even asked for me to go with the kids), and she's gone this morning to a birthday of an old friend, with the kids, telling me explicitly I wasn't welcome.

I want to save marriage if I can. I know she's not a great catch, and I know this is mostly because of how long I've fucked up being a blue pill faggot.

Her actions are bad, but I wonder if it's not only because I fucked up when pushing her. Shall I pull or comfort more, if she feels that inferior to me? Am I dreading too much?

What attitude woul be better on my side, apart from remaining calm? Shall I push further to assert I cannot accept her behaviour anymore (separation)?

Thanks for your help.


Post Information
Title Lack of comforting or pulling?
Author TuskMRP
Upvotes 9
Comments 22
Date 31 August 2019 02:02 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/251818
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/cxvwtx/lack_of_comforting_or_pulling/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
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Comments

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

The word "told" 3 times in a askMRP thread should summon the spirit of bert Reynolds to slap you in the face with his cock. I didn't even count. Did he hit 3?

This hurts to read.

[–]FoxShitNasty831 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

How do you summon that guy that lays the shit down.

[–]Cam_Winston21[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Take the upvote for the Bert Reynolds reference. Imagining him slapping DeLouise with his dick in Cannonball Run instead of his palm is a bit unsettling, but the humor was well worth it.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

I'm confused by this. What's an electronic cooking machine?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

A vibrator that scrambles eggs.

[–]AmbitiousRevolution03 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’d say thermomix. It’s all the rage for housewives here in Europe.

[–]RoccoPinkman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A microwave. Lost in translation

[–]The_LitzRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A stove.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

...sex is unusual (3 times a month) but not always bad. I'm almost never rejected.

Just to be clear, this means you're not initiating much at all.

Difficult to get intimacy or even any fun activity in these conditions.

I have to assume babysitters exist where you live but that you do not take the initiative in planning anything for the two of you.

The only exception is a drink with colleagues afterwork, which I tend to dislike a little bit too publicly.

She doesn't have time for you, but she has time to go out drinking with friends. Maybe she'd have time for you if you actually planned something.

During this winter she went beyond my NO to buy a electronical cook machine which was more than expensive.

From this, we can deduce that there's a strong chance that your wife does not respect you. This may come from years of not fucking her and not spending time with her.

I quietly told her I needed more intimacy

I'm not sure what you expect her to do about it. You're the one who doesn't initiate, and you said yourself that you're almost never rejected.

I don't know if I really love you anymore

You don't fuck her and you don't spend time with her. It's not shocking to me that she feels this way.

...and she's gone this morning to a birthday of an old friend, with the kids, telling me explicitly I wasn't welcome.

I wonder if this old friend was the guy she's boning on the side.

I mean, she's boning someone on the side. That's why she goes out all the time. But I just wonder if that's who it was and she's bringing her kids around the guy to meet him for the first time. Even if it's not his birthday, he'll probably be there.

I want to save marriage if I can. I know she's not a great catch

Why do you want to save this marriage? You get nothing out of it, and your kids are tired of seeing their dad get cucked by a mother who doesn't care about him.

Her actions are bad

Are they really? She's only been following your lead.

Shall I push further to assert I cannot accept her behaviour anymore (separation)?

I'm not sure what you think this will accomplish. Are you going to "quiety tell her you need more intimacy" again? What did that get you the first time?

[–]hack3geRed Beret12 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy

Lurking for 3 years = you know you haven’t really done shit but won’t admit it to us. You are a faggot at day one - lift, Stfu and read.

You gave her an ultimatum basically from a position of weakness - I can tell from her response and actions. I told my wife we clearly don’t want the same thing and I’m moving on after 18 months and she hopped on my dick like a crack whore trying to get her fix.

Honestly here’s what’s probably going on - your wife has been getting dicked down good on the side for years - probably all the kinky shit you wish you were doing. She was happy with fucking chad and you doing all the beta bux plowhorse shit. Now you told her that you expect her to fuck you so she’s testing her side dick for a branch swing. My money is on the fact the branch breaks and she comes back and does just enough to lead you along then goes back to fucking chad on the side.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

You called it. Definitely a branch swing going on here.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Or the look of his face makes her want to run away screaming. I dont think this one (the wife) is a looker. I dont think this is a branch swing. We are just overly pessimistic around here.

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Alright so maybe it’s a fat chad that’s dicking down his wife but just remember he never fucks her or gives her tingles so at this point a fucking zucchini might get her panties wet.

[–]FoxShitNasty831 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I thought we agreed I'm not fat plus the zucchini was her idea.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am going with the best case scenario here.

She is not fucking Chad or planning a branch swing.

She is tired, depressed and of the age where she is entering the infamous Eat, pray, love phase of her life. Chad will appear at some time, but you won't even suspect him. A fat beta orbiter will give her the feelz she needs.

She needs a good captain at this stage. Have you shared your vision with her? Is she feeling like a passenger with no idea where she is heading with you?

Now for some pragmatic advice. You are describing classic sleep apnea symptoms. Read up on it and let her do a sleep test.

If she becomes better she won't automatically love you. You still need to improve your smv and better yourself.

Short answer to your question, yeah, more comfort, but from a point of power, not weakness.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

This is way too long and rambling. Cut to the point next time or clean this up if you can. Is she a fatty?

I think she may be fucking around TBH. Did you trust but verify on these disappearances?

You are still a pussy. You are only getting IOI at work cuz they see possible beta bux... basically want you as an orbiter in case. My gut feeling is you’re not attractive because you lack frame and are generally a pussy

[–]coinbaserep5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

She snores so loud he sleeps in another room I picture an obese women laying on her back gasping for air to save her life

And she doesn’t like hiking because it requires too much effort to lift her body

Not exactly qualities of a hot fit women that takes care of herself

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah that’s why I asked if she was a fatty. The thing is... it’s easy for even fatty chicks to get laid compared with men

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep especially since most suck dick well and do anal.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sidebar faggot.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

About 4/5 years ago I had to move to friends'bedroom since my wife's snoring was getting too loud & constant, which was a huge blow for our intimacy. I pushed her to do something for long, and last year, she followed the advice of a physician going for a surgery, but it didn't change anything - probably bad advice from the doctor.

So what you are saying, is:

My wife has sleep apnea because she is fat.

And she needs gastric bypass surgery because we dont lift, eat like shit and we are fat.

Did I mention that we are fat?

[–]Balls_Wellington_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

At the end of the holidays, I quietly told her I needed more intimacy & doing stuff together in our relationship

Don't fucking do that.

Don't try to negotiate attraction. It's counter productive. The fact that you're trying shows that you are 100% in her frame, begging for fuckies from the real head of the house.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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