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Got cheated on by LTR, to next or to plate?

Reddit View
September 6, 2019
99 upvotes

I went through her phone this past Sunday as she slept and I found some pictures of her in bed with her ex. It shook me up a little because she never gave the hint that something was wrong. Sex was on demand, she'd go out of her way to do little things for me, overall being very submissive. I even read through her chat with the guy and it was full of mushy talk and nudes that she hadn't even sent me. With the exchanges between them it almost looked like they were still dating. He even asks her several times if she talks to me and she vehemently denies it, lying to him too in the bargain.

I was angry and hurt at first but now I realize its just that my turn is over.

As a result, moving forward with this chick is out of the question. I don't want things to be the same, whatever attachment I had for her has been destroyed. But I want some advice on how to move from here.

My first reaction was to end things immediately without explanation. She's completely in the dark about me knowing anything at all to the point where if I ghost her, she probably won't draw a conclusion to the fact that I found out about her cheating. I know its beta and not my concern, but deep down I do want her to feel horrible for losing me.

Another part of me wants to calmly confront her with all the evidence one of these days after we've fucked, as I walk away after and never speak to her again. At the same time I want to write to the ex too, telling him that me and her have been together indeed as I send her pictures of me with her. She won't have him to go back to either then.

I've also considered plating her as I talk other girls on the side. She's hot and amazing in bed and I really enjoy fucking the life out of her.

It's getting harder and harder for me to be nice to her anymore, I've let these feelings simmer for a few days now and I'm not sure how I should proceed


Post Information
Title Got cheated on by LTR, to next or to plate?
Author MuttonRoll
Upvotes 99
Comments 151
Date 06 September 2019 06:38 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/252114
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/d0d074/got_cheated_on_by_ltr_to_next_or_to_plate/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
ghostingbetacheatinglong term relationshipplate
Comments

[–]Treatscatscrave351 points352 points  (8 children) | Copy

This is the problem with being purple pill. A deluded blue piller would just forgive and forget and in his own way be happy. A red piller would say 'fuck it' , dump and go looking for fresh. Again, happy in his own way.

You're currently in limbo. Because the obvious answer from a red pill perspective is to dump and move on.

It's not about how much you like to fuck her. Once you let a woman get away with you tolerating having another man's cock in her, she WILL feel empowered to do ANYTHING, no matter how depraved, she likes.

For you have tolerated such a thing and you are not worthy of her respect. Which, let's face it, if you do stick with a woman after that, you really aren't worthy of anyone's respect. Fuck your brother? Yeah why not?

[–]uptimex61 points62 points  (2 children) | Copy

This. No questions. Just next.

[–]Treatscatscrave5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

The reason why I've been able to articulate this so succinctly is that I've got a friend who is behaviorally purple pill.

He is highly intelligent, good-looking but when you really get to know him quite autistic. Because of this, he is what I call a 'paper alpha'. Being autistic, he says what he thinks, stands out from the crowd, irreverent, appears confident and is good-looking. Catnip to women. But, being autistic, he also has no understanding of them.

So this woman gets her claws into him. Cool fwb sort. Gets 'accidentally' pregnant by this fine specimen of alphatude.

Gets to know him better, day-in-day out domestic 'bliss', but he turns out to be pedantic, fussy and once kid pops out, it 'comes first'. No more Mr Sexy. She, naturally, cheats.

He, naively believing rugrat comes first, sticks with her for family unit.

She fucking hates him for this.

Mr Alpha is now ball-less, obviously dependent on her, and as he 'would never be unfaithful' relies on her totally for sex.

Her behaviour gets worse. Taking it out on the kid. Berating him say in day out. 'Clubbing' with friends until 5am.

Eventually, she kicks him out. He is now broken. She has utterly managed to turn the kid against him and has made accusations of rape and abuse against him. 'Always abusive' you see. And in a sense she is right. It IS abuse to a woman to be a paper alpha.

He believes the relationship ended the day she chucked him out.

It ended ten (ten!!) years before when she let another man's cock in her.

Of course any 'shade' of guy should leave as soon as this happens as respect is gone but, all the same, I don't think a blue pill or red pill guy would garner so much absolute hatred.

Divorce rape yes but absolute hatred? No.

Who wants to kick a puppy and nobody kicks a rottweiller.

[–]uptimex2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, same story everywhere. It is sad.. extremely sad.

[–]nateydanger22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

Legendary post. Listen to this mans.

[–]_Icarus_Reborn_6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great response and definitely one for any new trper to read.

Hopefully a mod sees this and thinks its worth a point.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

i needed to hear this. a -fuckin-men

[–]Redditgoodaccount229 points230 points  (12 children) | Copy

Next --> you get other girls

Plate --> you eat some of his sperm

Your choice

[–]NolanKnowstheTruth40 points41 points  (0 children) | Copy

And she will laugh while telling her friends.

[–]Burga765 points66 points  (6 children) | Copy

You really think all plates are gonna be exclusive to you?

[–]Redditgoodaccount23 points24 points  (5 children) | Copy

Just your sister

[–]Burga717 points18 points  (4 children) | Copy

Dont have one

[–]Greaterbird16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Okay, both of them then.

[–]rizzyfromthe92 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Failed shit test

[–]TimelessNY7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah man, agree and amplify.

Enjoy the taste of my sperm!

[–]Bruchibre28 points29 points  (1 child) | Copy

Plate - - > you're gay

[–]uptimex14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

So all your plates fuck only with you? Some of my plates can also fuck other guys and I don't give a shit actually. That is why they called plates I guess. I guess it is an individual preference.

[–]Redditgoodaccount3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's totally individual preference that's why "your choice". That said, well you never know

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed128 points129 points  (25 children) | Copy

Don't plate former LTR's.

[–]MisterMarbles19885 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

This has worked for me one time, ever. Both she and I spent time apart fucking other people, then we reconnected on a complete FWB level. Meaning, we had fun hanging out with each other, had great sex, but ultimately did not have romantic, monogamous ideas about each other. We were literally just friends who enjoyed fucking each other a lot.

Worked for about 7 months with her flying out to see me for a long weekend here and there, until she stayed an entire week one time. It was just way too much time together and we got on each other's nerves. Ended when she got drunk at a party I brought her to and she started blatantly talking shit about me. Dropped her off at the airport and never saw her again.

Point is, it is possible to plate former LTRs but I do agree it's generally a bad prospect.

[–]rotissery6212 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

I have a former LTR that I've plated. Admittedly, she has actively worked to sabotage some other plate situations, but on the whole, it's nice to have a girl on demand while still plating new girls. Plating an LTR is a nice reprieve from always being on the hunt for new... Not saying this is good advice though, but it's possible if balanced right.

[–]rotissery6211 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh, I should also add my LTR never cheated. If she did, she'd be done. I broke up with her and then kept her around afterward.

[–]boredathome1941 points42 points  (2 children) | Copy

Have some self respect. "I really like fucking her so I plate her because that's what I want! That's alpha!". She disrespected you and is human garbage. She's not worth your time, attention or cock. Fuck other girls, there are more than enough.

[–]Garathon13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. Keeping her as a plate just shows you don't have abundance mentality.

[–]Truedemocracy54 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. OP is completely male hamstering

[–]Copypastable37 points38 points  (4 children) | Copy

Once she cheats, it's over. Did you not tell her this?

[–]HurricaneHugues22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

You need to tell your LTR that if she cheats the relationship is over? LOL

[–]Xerexes38699 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah. I told my LTR if she cheats, it would be like she never existed in my life ever. There would be no discussion or chats or phone calls or texts about feelings and rationalizations about why it happened. There would be no forgiveness. We would just be done forever and I would never see her face again until the day she or I died.

[–]smartfunction300 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Will she then just not tell you if she cheats?

[–]Xerexes38692 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's a 50:50 gamble. The threat usually has no bearing on her telling you or not telling you. It is only so that she knows if I find out somehow, there will be no forgiveness and she'll lose whatever we have forever. Also it re-enforces your masculine frame that you dont really give a fuck about her beyond a point. Her telling you usually rests on the fact that if the guy fucking her wants to date her or not. If he tells her to fuck off after he fucked her, you'll never know. If he agrees to a relationship she'll either breakup with you or tell you about cheating and then breakup.

[–]subu30050 points51 points  (0 children) | Copy

Next. Go fuck other girls

[–]Nfuckedmeup22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

You keep giving her validation even if you dump her and keep fucking her. She’s a cheating whore who disrespected you and you should cut her off completely.

[–]Endorsed ContributorNightwingTRP22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is actually a good example of the blooper scarcity mindset in its most insidious form. "The sex is great."

So what? You'll find more women. You will find better sex and you will find worse sex. You'll find better and worse from the same chick. Why are you trying to grasp and control something which is fluid that you have no control over? If you must do something to let her know why she's dumped, then dump her through her hot friend or something and tell them the truth about why she's dumped. They might decide that the hivemind girlcode doesn't apply here and she can freely fuck you.

[–]volvostupidshit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The sex is great aka I have oneitis but I want to somehow sound like an alpha.

[–]idontmiind14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

keep it simple.

Case1: If you get mentally bothered about her when she's around, it'll show in your body language: next her in that case. Completely even. It's Ls from all corners here.

Case 2: if you can stay detached to the betrayal experience, just plate her and go around talking to girls. Warning: if you lie to yourself you'll suffer like you had hemorrhoids tho so be careful with this one.

[–]fascinate_tempt15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dont be a cuck

[–]Bruchibre13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

She was actually cheating on him with you so she won't care

[–]Psycholephant0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I see this too. Starting to really understand why TRP says LTR and pair bonding are completely fruitless.

[–]ChadChadson1911 points12 points  (6 children) | Copy

Dump her you fucking cuck, if you have any respect for yourself at all.

[–]Ledoborec0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

I think I am on the same situation, yet dont have any evidence, can I ask for phone? I can't open it by myself...

[–]ChadChadson190 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

You want to ask to go through her phone? You’ll look insecure as fuck, you won’t find anything anyway, in most she’ll make sure to delete everything.

[–]Ledoborec0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I am pretty much insecure as fuck. I think She knows it too, I lowered once guards and my frame went from mediocre stable to fucking sub zero. I am new to these feelings and I am learning how to handle them. I feel trapped. I need to move on, but man why Is it fucking hard for me?

[–]WhatIsLogicFor5001 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

do you even lift?

spin plates and you’ll never be insecure. “damn becky is acting weird... i hope she’s not with chad!”

more like

“damn becky is acting weird. let me drop this bitch off and call janet instead, she trippin”.

don’t do an LTR until you can work out your insecurities. and also, if you already feel like this with your girl, nothing will change it. trust is slashed. goodbye.

you are the prize, not her.

[–]Ledoborec0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I do loft, but my work life needs to be redone. I started to suffer from panic attacks. Shits hard.

[–]ChadChadson192 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Because you are a faggot. What’s worse is you’re letting yourself be that way. It’s hard, but it’s a choice. You have no business being in an LTR right now, none. It’s difficult as FUCK to do but you need to get out and move on and work on yourself, no matter how painful it is.

[–]Cientocincuenta10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get tested, bro. Who knows how many infection-ridden cocks she's fucked in the down low.

I'm sorry you had to go through this. Keep your strength, remove her from your life. Keep screenshots of her conversation with her boyfriend if you're married to her, for divorce purposes. Do NOT whack off to said screenshots, 'cause being a cuckold is frowned upon around here.

[–]Treatscatscrave10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

To add to earlier comment: don't learn the hard way how much sheer contempt women have for men who tolerate being cuckolded. Not just your girlfriend, but all women who hear that a man has tolerated that.

The difference is that 'all' women won't harm you, while your girlfriend will up the ante and her behaviour will get worse. She won't be grateful you've forgiven her. Far from it.

And you're suffering from scarcity mentality, too. Statistically speaking, she is not the only good lay out there. Can't be.

[–]Herdsengineers9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dumping her immediately is correct move. I think there's nothing wrong with saying it's because you know she's cheating on you with her ex- and that's unacceptable to you. I would strongly advise against revealing how you know or showing her any evidence. Just tell her you know she's done it, and that's that.

Do not approach the ex- to talk to him. His side with her is his problem, let him figure things out.

Go find a new woman. Hotness and amazing in bed is actually pretty common. Think abundantly, don't keep a cheater in your life simply due to scarcity mentality.

The feelings of betrayal are going to stick with you for a while. Don't let it get you amp'd up into acting out in some stupid kind of fashion. You're going to need to act on those feelings in a composed manner where you hold your frame and can look back on it and respect yourself. Best way to do that is dump her and move on in as brief a manner as you can manage, and ghost her. Cheaters aren't worth expending any more time and energy on. What gets you past the feelings of betrayal the best is looking back and being proud that you handled it the best way possible, and you didn't do anything to be ashamed of later.

[–]DerpJungler13 points14 points  (4 children) | Copy

Arrange a dinner at her place where she'll have to cook for you.

Eat, fuck her to sleep, leave and ghost her ass.

It will drive her crazy and you get a nice meal and a good last fuck out of it.

Invest your time elsewhere.

[–]777views2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I’m conflicted on this one. This is good advice, but in the end wouldn’t it be better to just completely next her? If she cheats on you that’s disrespect so keeping her around as a plate or for one last fuck shows that you still tolerate her/her disrespect. I like that idea though I just feel like why should we give them even the slightest bit more of attention once they cheat

[–]DerpJungler1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's not about giving her attention, rather than getting the satisfaction one time before dumping. In the case of OP, he asks if he should demote to plate or next. He also mentions that he enjoys having sex with her. So it's a win win.

Fuck her one last time and get the satisfaction of dumping her ass. Think about it, isn't that much more fulfilling than simply nexting her?

Keeping her around as a plate or for one last fuck shows that you still tolerate her/her disrespect.

First part, I agree. One last fuck shows her that you only wanted to fuck her, leaving her empty inside, which is exactly what OP wants. No back and fourth bitchy texts, no texting her "ex" or w/e, no revenge seeking. One last fuck. Then you leave and all she remembers is how hard you fucked her that last time. She will be left craving for more.

Life is too short to do the "right" or the "moral" thing. Might as well maximize your satisfaction out of a shitty situation.

[–]777views3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah I get it. That’s good advice. I’m all for being selfish. My thing is with chicks who cheat I feel like they don’t even deserve that one last time, but I guess it depends on the situation.

[–]Ledoborec2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

They need to know they were used, its a good way to let them know. Just like they used us well do the same. Its karma.

[–]hedden9322 points23 points  (4 children) | Copy

I get it that you are angry and hurt. I've been there man. I would just calmly tell her that you know she's been cheating and then break up with her and lose all contact. Act as though she meant nothing to you. Imo if you plate her, you'll lose respect for yourself. She lied and manipulated you, she's not worthy of you in any capacity anymore.

[–]imtheoneimmortal10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

He doesn’t even need to explain to her

[–]thesoloronin6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Word. Kind of reminds me of the line “if an idea is out of a woman’s level of comprehension, then it becomes entirely besides the point.”

[–]imtheoneimmortal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

To her POV she's right, so if he try to tell her what happened or why he's doing this
She will be ok or whatever

[–]lololasaurus2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If he tells her, from his post I'm not really sure he has the frame to stand fast under the gaslighting and manipulation that is sure to immediately follow. High chance his next post here is talking about how he mistreated her by not doing something she asked and that's why she cheated and it's all ok now.

Why give her closure as to why

Just next

[–]1ANGRY_ATHEIST6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

The general TRP consensus is to ghost in this situation, but allow me to share a field report.

I had an almost identical situation happen to me back before I swallowed the pill. As a BPer at the time of course I threw a tantrum over it. It was a big part of what eventually lead me to TRP.

A few years, LTR's, and a swallowing of the red pill later, for some reason she came back around. I added her to my plate collection at the time, and the sex was far more incredible than it ever was when we were in a "relationship". She would literally stop in, fuck my brains out, and then leave. It was great. She continued this even after she got into an LTR with some other dude, it was a huge eye-opening experience since for a while I thought she was loyal and possibly "the one".

I'm seeing a lot of guys here calling you a cuck etc, but TRP is supposed to be a toolbox. If you're using it to get what you want, then fuck what ever anybody else thinks about it.

[–][deleted] 73 points74 points  (14 children) | Copy

Firstly, I'm sorry this happened to you man.

Secondly, I don't see the problem here. Explanation: You were never in an LTR to begin with. The way I see it, either you were her Alpha-lover plate, and he was the boyfriend, or vice versa. From what you've told me, I don't think it was vice versa. I think he was the boyfriend, the Beta, and you were the Alpha-lover. Now, perhaps this girl couldn't stomach the fact that unlike what society told her, which is giving into her AF/BB instinct was wrong and she had to have "one man", she couldn't lie to you, him or herself and convinced herself that...both of you were her boyfriends, or something like that. That it's not wrong if you're both boyfriends. The reality is one of you wasn't, and I'm guessing that's you. This is both bad news and good news.

The bad news is she lied to you, and you've been through the emotional pain of being in an LTR and being "cheated on". That's what you've been going through the past few days.

The good news is since there was never an LTR, you can't be cheated on. You can't be broken up with. You can't get out of something you that wasn't there in the first place. I know that sounds devastating, but it's a good thing. Why? Because it means freedom. Because she has no claim on you. You can fuck any number of women you want now, with no lasting personal, emotional or relationship consequences. Let me repeat that. You can fuck any number of women now, her, her friends, her family, your friends, girls you meet at bars, girls you meet on Tinder. You can do this without any consequences, to your personal, emotional, or relationship life. You can keep her on as a plate or rather a friends with benefits, you can keep fucking her, keep getting gifts from her, whatever. Because she's just a plate. That's all she ever was, that's all you ever were, that's all this ever was. A part of it sucks, let's say 10%. The 90% is amazing.

She's just a plate who doesn't like feeling like a plate and needs more comfort. You could even call her a friend. It sucks that she lied to you, so she's not a great friend, but she's a girl you like and are in sync with and enjoy fucking and spend time. She's a good girl and a decent plate. Enjoy yourself, enjoy life, and enjoy sex.

All of this is 100% only completely in your head. Do not, under any circumstances, whatsoever, reveal to her, at any level, overtly, covertly, or at any point, what you know, what that makes you feel, or "what it means". For all intents and purposes, it means nothing.

This is high-level stuff, and will take discipline, self-control and self-knowledge. You're on TRP, you know what's right, you can do it. You 're defined by so much more than this girl, any girl, or your "relationship status". Never let her know you know. If she ever brings up any of your actions after this, just tell her its how you feel, or you were tired, or its you not her. If she wants to break up that's fine. But don't give her the satisfaction of drama she full well knows about but is lying to herself about. You're better than that, with more important things, and women, to do.

Do: Start fucking other women. Keep the illusion alive. Keep her happy. Keep the same relationship dynamic, just lesser. Employ push-pull. Downgrade her in your mind from LTR to just another plate.

Do not: Let her know. Withdraw significant amounts of attention, love, time etc from her. You love and fuck her just the same, just the label in your head has changed. Make any serious investments in this girl. Do not move in together. Do not share any assets, home life, professional lives, money matters, family, and as little as friends as possible at this point. Do not announce you're together to anybody who doesn't already know, online, offline, whatever. She, for all intents and purposes, is an acquaintance you fuck in your life now. Would you move in with an acquaintance just because? No. Do not give her any more of your time than you already are, and share smaller parts of your life. Let her be on your team, just not the main romantic player anymore.

I predict a lot of happiness, rough, and satisfying sex in your life in the future. Rejoice! Now you have time for all the other women in your life.

[–]RedHoodhandles18 points19 points  (6 children) | Copy

Why should he do all these mental gymnastics so he can 'win' and come out on top? Protecting his cookie core ego? What for? We don't care. His cheating (ex)LTR doesn't care. And most important of all he shouldn't care. Sometimes trp is so ego invested cringey as fuck that I just want to puke all over you wannabe hardboys.

He had a contract of monogamy with her. She broke it because that's what women do. The respect is gone. Hard next and be done with it.

He can confront her or he can ghost her. Doesn't matter. Personally I'd confront her, pack my shit, wish her all the worst, instruct her to never ever contact me, erase her out of my life and move on.

[–]RiffRaffAmerican6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'd ghost and fade out without a word. There's no closure or anything to be gained by turning on her crocodile tears. She's just not worth any more of ops time or energy after what she's done.

[–]RedHoodhandles0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Agreed. But I'd need that pain. I'd need that bomb directly eyploding into my face. I would want to look her straight into the eyes when I confront her with the truth. This is just my personal masochistic preference.

[–]RiffRaffAmerican2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Denying her closure and leaving her searching for answers is far better, imo.

To each their own

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy

Tell me which part of my solution is ego-driven and which part of yours isn't.

[–]red_matrix16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

That part where you said he wasn’t in an LTR, he was and she broke it and then continued to lie to OP. Come on man this is delusional thinking. You can’t deny reality.

[–]Tousen710 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank god for this sanity. Any excuses to explain away cheating is the saddest fucking state of affairs for the RP community. Jesus fuck some of these comments are pussy af.

[–]69BootyDestroyer695 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your answer is very good in theory - almost idealistic - but will fail terribly in practice.

You were never in an LTR to begin with.

Well, from the title of the post, he very much was. He was emotionally invested. This kind of post-rationalization will only make it tougher for him to move on. Deep inside he will know that he is lying to himself.

Keep the same relationship dynamic, just lesser.

Again, way easier said than done. How is he going to pull off reducing her to plate-level time and emotional investment without her suspecting a thing? And all the while he has to remain calm, kiss her goodnight when all he can think about is her cum-stained lips from her ex. Unless you have the mental control of Dalai Lama himself, I don't see any normal guy pulling this off.

And all this for what? Just to share some second-hand pussy? Add to that putting yourself through the mental pressure of having to play these games while maintaining a straight face so she doesn't figure out anything has changed. It's simply not worth it.

Preserve your sanity and your time. Go no contact and don't look back.

[–]thesoloronin1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck this needs to be pinned to the top!

[–]smartfunction300 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She's a good girl

How so?

[–]HurricaneHugues-5 points-4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your comment is longer than the entire OP. Didn't even read it because I know it's garbage.

[–]pridebrah5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t bother telling the dude my brother, it never works out. He already knows about you, so it’s not going to destroy things as you envision. This is one of the hardest things to come to terms with and I’ve been there myself (post about it in my history). Your best bet is to just next her to begin the healing process. If Better to just start separating yourself from the trash and bettering yourself.

Exes are a motherfucker and always have pull.

[–]SheriffBart426 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

At this point, you're playing with the house's money. You are fully justified in never committing to her ever. You are actually in the best spot right now and you don't know it. Her ceiling is capped at plate whether she knows it or not. If I were you, I would hate fuck her until I became tired of it.

All this other emotional stuff about closure and so on... just forget it. I understand the urge, but it's like going to a snake and hoping for an apology after it bit you. Waste of fucking time. Let all that energy you have come out in just fucking her while you still can. Make a memory you can jerk to later when you're an old family man like me. The memory of the bangs will be all you have left from your single life!

[–]pointster_VSK5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just by reading the title. Why is this even a question?

[–]HurricaneHugues6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Where's your self respect?

"My first reaction was to end things immediately without explanation."

That's the ONLY option. Tell her in the driest and most nonchalant way "This relationship is over. Im out". Then remove yourself from the situation. Delete her number and text thread. Delete her and her closest friends off all your social media. Move on. It's over.

"Another part of me wants to calmly confront her with all the evidence one of these days after we've fucked, as I walk away after and never speak to her again. At the same time I want to write to the ex too, telling him that me and her have been together indeed as I send her pictures of me with her. She won't have him to go back to either then."

That's the stupidest shit I ever heard. He won't give a single fuck and you'll appear as an even bigger cuck. He'll feel better about himself that she was cucking you with him, and his ego will lead him to believe that she was cheating on you with him because he's such a Chad. They will keep on fucking while talking shit about you.

Cut your losses and just move on. Offer no explanation. Don't drag this out. Don't fall into her frame. Break up, erase her frok your life, and move on.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Plate her, but say nothing. Only put enough effort in her to continue extracting sex. She has lost the privilege of your emotional investment.

Get into the habit of moving in the direction of things that fulfill your needs and goals. Don't over-invest in lost causes. This bitch is now one of those.

[–]moroots3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

KISS. keep it simple stupid

just ghost. no contact + no explanation = no drama for you

[–]360_no_scope_upvote4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ghost without explanation. Don't be purple, you will feel better knowing she's going çrazy trying to figure out what the hell she did. Block delete never repeat

[–]LilLoserFreny3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ghost her and dump her. Don’t talk to her again. Don’t give her an explanation for the break up. That’s exactly the type of closure that she wants. This has nothing to do with being bitter or anything like that. Women don’t “love” a man they can’t respect, and obviously your ltr has lost respect for you a long time ago. Yes, it’s true that it was just your turn with her and now your turn is over. With that being said, the answer to to this reality is NOT to continue any sort of relationship with her. I repeat, she doesn’t deserve any sort of relationship, sexual or otherwise at this point. If yin 2-4 years you feel like you want to throw her fuck then fine, but your relationship with her should reach only to that furthest extent.

[–]lord_ah2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

GHOST her, she will lose it...

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ghost but send him a picture of her sucking you off first.

Seriously don’t do that. But def ghost. It will hurt her the most. And personally I’d tell the ex.

[–]lololasaurus2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why are you considering digging through the trash can full of rotting waste after it's been dragged to the curb?

This choice would necessarily require you to live in a situation where you are being actively lied to, which is terrible for your own head, and eventually she will probably manage to gaslight you into believing this was your fault on top of it all after you crack and let her know you know.

Hard next. Sorry that happened to you.

[–]TrimHer2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

NEXT NEXT and NEXT again.

HOWEVER: You should take some time to reflect on your role in creating the environment for cheating and apply it to the next one. What behaviors were you doing or not doing that created the opportunity to cheat?

[–]Anitaliandude2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Plate, all the way. Never get rid of pussy. Play the same game, make sure the sex becomes gradually but increasingly kinkier, nastier and humiliating. She wants to be a nasty whore? Make her graduate.

Make her give you a rusty trombone, spit in her mouth, slap her on the face, bruise her up. You have to do it gradually but firmly. Develop that ruthlessness.

When you find someone else, you ditch her.

Been there too.

[–]Yummmi2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Come on now buddy. Have some respect for yourself. You know what to do.

[–]Itsjustnickg2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with treatscatscrave. However, if you want to make her feel bad, plate her, act like nothing happened and go out and find a hotter girl. Fuck her. Have pics of her in your phone. Have sexy texts from her on your phone. Let her find it. Don't make it too easy to find though otherwise it will be obvious what you are doing. Once she finds out and blows up at you, act confused, say something like "oh did you think we were exclusive or something?" Believe me she will tell you she cheated and that she doesn't care and whatever. The end result of this is a plate with a highly caffeinated hamster due to preselection.

[–]SlappaDaBayssMon5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

If it was me I'd confront her, keeping it short. Don't waste your time with evidence and arugments and explanations.

"I know you've been cheating, we're breaking up."

Then untangle your life from hers and move on.

I know you're full of emotions rn, but acting on them will only come back yo damage you on the long run.

Go bury your face in a some tits and a sweet smile.

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20021 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just end it. The damage has been done.

The relationship has been fragmented, so it's best to just leave.

[–]alleyteris1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you have any belongings in her house get them back , also if she owes you money take that back as well and then hard next her.

Unless you enjoy being manipulated by a stupid cunt and the taste of her ex's cum

[–]prince0verit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's getting harder and harder for me to be nice to her anymore,

This is where you fucked up. Look where it got you.

At the same time I want to write to the ex too, telling him that me and her have been together indeed as I send her pictures of me with her. She won't have him to go back to either then.

And this just makes it worse.

You have oneitis and it is oozing from your pores. Dump her and spend some time with yourself getting your life, masculine frame, and abundance mindset back where it needs to be.

Leave the other dude to deal with your leftovers.

[–]Republic_of_Ash1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You knew the answer before you even posted here.

[–]isthisalreadyused1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You next her dude, wtf you thinking?

[–]Totsean1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

  1. Sex tape that shit.
  2. Next her and get evidence
  3. Send a lovely video of her sucking your cock to her ex. ( you can blur our the face etc)

Or
Just dump that whore and find another girl. Don't over think it, just WALK THE FUCK AWAY.

[–]InsidiousCurve1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can't go from LTR relationship to plate lol because she's always going to think you're still together. You build too much comfort and rapport without any push/pull so she started to branch off to find her ex chad who treated her like used garbage because she loves the emotional adrenaline. By being complacent and still seeing her, she's going to just start to use u to buy her shit without any sex...etc. Show zero respect to you since she behaved this way before and you were complacent.

Yes, she fucked everything up and it hurts since you spent plenty of time emotionally investing in her, yet she's an emotional wreck like all women, and will move to whatever gives her the tingles. As many people say on this site through experience, it's sometimes better to just plate women in general since LTR cause your value to drop.

[–]Truedemocracy51 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you “plate her” she’s playing you bud

[–]smhfamswag1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She’s a whore, hard next.

Don’t ever take a girl seriously who still associates with her ex.

And no, plating is not gonna work since you clearly still got feelings for her.

[–]Sylvester_Sterone1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This happens all too often. If it was me I'd just cut her out and go no contact. I wouldn't give her the validation that she was caught. Who knows some cheaters just like the potential thrill of being caught. Any type of attention toward's a person's behavior is nothing more than validation.

[–]_DonDraper_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck her one more time and send the pics to the other guy. Then block her out of your life. Imagine if the other guy would do the same, it would be LOL and her head would explode from not knowing for sure why.

But this is too much involvement, idealization etc. So, just straight out block her out of your life.

[–]__TheDon__1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ghost her. It would make her go nuts trying to figure out what went wrong

[–]Stupyyy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She is hustling. She figured out she'd rather fuck 5-10 guys and have 5-10 guys on demand rather 1.

[–]Intentional691 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ghost. Walk the fuck away. You owe her nothing. Cut all ties no contact. Radio fucking silence. Every bone in your body is going to want to confront her, to put her on blast, to make her feel bad. Listen because this is gonna hurt nice and deep like.... SHE DOESN'T CARE. This is another lesson you will either learn right here right now or later down the line. So make a choice.

[–]XT3M31 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Got cheated on by LTR, to next or to plate?

if you have to ask....... bro. what do you have to gain from this by plating her, have some god damned self respect and end this shitshow. plus atm youre HER PLATE. im amazed that alot of you want to keep fucking someone who is flatout disrespecting you....

[–]carrills1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've had this dilemma recently, then I realized I was wasting too much energy ruminating and dumped the ho. It might suck if you don't have any other options lined up, but in the long run it's better that you don't waste time on people that don't respect you.

[–]Hedser914 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Some sperm cells of the other guy will transfer to you if you continue. Don't know about you but for me that sounds pretty gay man.

[–]nosediver962 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Why you going thru her phone bro, do your own thing

[–]yzeetrA3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Beta jealousy, it happens and it’s usually the worst thing you can do, will almost always find something that will trigger / haunt you from then on out. I’ve had the option many times, did it once and never again. Don’t see a point unless you really suspect that you’re being lied to with an upfront question.

[–]MuttonRoll[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

The ex contacted me a few weeks ago asking me what I've been up to with her, saying he's been dating her all along. It made no sense because she was always around me the entire time. I assumed he was wasting my time and trying to stir up some shit. Didn't think much of it in the moment but it was always in the back of my mind. I went through her phone at the first chance I could and saw everything for myself.

[–]isthisalreadyused3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Did you not confront her about the call? Wtf is it with all this passive bullshit on this sub anyway? “I don’t wanna seem desperate” You confront her about it, and ask for a fucking explaination, then you find the ex and confront him IN PERSON. This is the only acceptable way to deal with this, anything else and you’re a fucking pussy

[–]Schhwing2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Does she live with you?

Your too wound up in her. She’s obviously a lying slut. What does a lying slut deserve, to be kicked to the curb. So tell her “your a lying slut, and I want nothing to do with you”. And move on. Simple.

How could you be so desperate to fuck her again then tell her. That’s self disrespect. Don’t even touch her again. You shouldn’t even care about her anymore so telling the other dude is pointless.

[–]RedHoodhandles1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Next.

[–]SoulRedemption0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't think hard, next

[–]tee00050 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for reminding..... Well you know that part.

I think you should call the other guy and suprise her with a date... Or plate her cause "she's not yours it's just your turn". But you in a favorable position. Be glad

[–]LeEbinConchShell0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

ghost her!

[–]JMIE70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I went through her phone this past Sunday as she slept

Come on bro really?

[–]777views0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What a bitch. Forget her, on to the next one.

[–]Ivabighairy10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you had abundance this wouldn’t be a problem. Sounds more like oneitis.

[–]Greaterbird0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She couldn't keep her dick in her pants, and didn't even give you the courtesy of breaking things off first. She's not worth the scum she licks off the bathroom toilet.

[–]TFWnoLTR0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hard next. You shouldnt even have to ask.

[–]SeasonedRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I see this question on here a lot by guys under the delusion that they have the option of downgrading an LTR to a plate under these circumstances. She cheated on you. She's done with you. If you try to keep her as a plate, before long she'll officially break up with you. Plating her isn't going to happen. The only reason you and others in this situation bring it up is that you have oneitis and don't have the self respect to get rid of her for cheating. Have some self respect and ghost this twat and go meet some other girls.

[–]Ironicmask0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

why is this even a question! next....

[–]papunigga0310 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t LTR

[–]Estrogenoxygen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your best move is to go no contact and work on yourself. Note: you are the plate.

[–]NeedRealityShock0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Be a bro and tell the other dude.

[–]InspirationO-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hard next, or demote to a plate

[–]biohackninja-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Fuck her badly while chasing other girls. It will help you by being all relaxed when approaching and flirting. You brake that plate the moment you get another one. And you’ll tell her you used her only for sex because she’s a slut.

[–]biohackninja2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

PS : kill your feelings for her

[–]throaway69404-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

Leak her nudes

[–]IvaraMain 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Low

[–]okuli2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Cheating is low. Sharing revenge porn is illegal.



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