Got cheated on by LTR, to next or to plate?

Treatscatscrave · 2019-09-06T07:16:33+00:00

This is the problem with being purple pill. A deluded blue piller would just forgive and forget and in his own way be happy. A red piller would say 'fuck it' , dump and go looking for fresh. Again, happy in his own way.

You're currently in limbo. Because the obvious answer from a red pill perspective is to dump and move on.

It's not about how much you like to fuck her. Once you let a woman get away with you tolerating having another man's cock in her, she WILL feel empowered to do ANYTHING, no matter how depraved, she likes.

For you have tolerated such a thing and you are not worthy of her respect. Which, let's face it, if you do stick with a woman after that, you really aren't worthy of anyone's respect. Fuck your brother? Yeah why not?

Redditgoodaccount · 2019-09-06T07:23:44+00:00

Next --> you get other girls

Plate --> you eat some of his sperm

Your choice

FereallyRed · 2019-09-06T08:26:00+00:00

Don't plate former LTR's.

boredathome19 · 2019-09-06T08:49:40+00:00

Have some self respect. "I really like fucking her so I plate her because that's what I want! That's alpha!". She disrespected you and is human garbage. She's not worth your time, attention or cock. Fuck other girls, there are more than enough.

Copypastable · 2019-09-06T07:24:07+00:00

Once she cheats, it's over. Did you not tell her this?

subu300 · 2019-09-06T06:43:34+00:00

Next. Go fuck other girls

Nfuckedmeup · 2019-09-06T08:15:07+00:00

You keep giving her validation even if you dump her and keep fucking her. She’s a cheating whore who disrespected you and you should cut her off completely.

NightwingTRP · 2019-09-06T11:03:33+00:00

This is actually a good example of the blooper scarcity mindset in its most insidious form. "The sex is great."

So what? You'll find more women. You will find better sex and you will find worse sex. You'll find better and worse from the same chick. Why are you trying to grasp and control something which is fluid that you have no control over? If you must do something to let her know why she's dumped, then dump her through her hot friend or something and tell them the truth about why she's dumped. They might decide that the hivemind girlcode doesn't apply here and she can freely fuck you.

idontmiind · 2019-09-06T07:25:24+00:00

keep it simple.

Case1: If you get mentally bothered about her when she's around, it'll show in your body language: next her in that case. Completely even. It's Ls from all corners here.

Case 2: if you can stay detached to the betrayal experience, just plate her and go around talking to girls. Warning: if you lie to yourself you'll suffer like you had hemorrhoids tho so be careful with this one.

fascinate_tempt · 2019-09-06T08:38:42+00:00

Dont be a cuck

Bruchibre · 2019-09-06T09:30:54+00:00

She was actually cheating on him with you so she won't care

ChadChadson19 · 2019-09-06T11:56:24+00:00

Dump her you fucking cuck, if you have any respect for yourself at all.

Cientocincuenta · 2019-09-06T11:55:27+00:00

Get tested, bro. Who knows how many infection-ridden cocks she's fucked in the down low.

I'm sorry you had to go through this. Keep your strength, remove her from your life. Keep screenshots of her conversation with her boyfriend if you're married to her, for divorce purposes. Do NOT whack off to said screenshots, 'cause being a cuckold is frowned upon around here.

Treatscatscrave · 2019-09-06T08:00:10+00:00

To add to earlier comment: don't learn the hard way how much sheer contempt women have for men who tolerate being cuckolded. Not just your girlfriend, but all women who hear that a man has tolerated that.

The difference is that 'all' women won't harm you, while your girlfriend will up the ante and her behaviour will get worse. She won't be grateful you've forgiven her. Far from it.

And you're suffering from scarcity mentality, too. Statistically speaking, she is not the only good lay out there. Can't be.

Herdsengineers · 2019-09-06T12:53:12+00:00

Dumping her immediately is correct move. I think there's nothing wrong with saying it's because you know she's cheating on you with her ex- and that's unacceptable to you. I would strongly advise against revealing how you know or showing her any evidence. Just tell her you know she's done it, and that's that.

Do not approach the ex- to talk to him. His side with her is his problem, let him figure things out.

Go find a new woman. Hotness and amazing in bed is actually pretty common. Think abundantly, don't keep a cheater in your life simply due to scarcity mentality.

The feelings of betrayal are going to stick with you for a while. Don't let it get you amp'd up into acting out in some stupid kind of fashion. You're going to need to act on those feelings in a composed manner where you hold your frame and can look back on it and respect yourself. Best way to do that is dump her and move on in as brief a manner as you can manage, and ghost her. Cheaters aren't worth expending any more time and energy on. What gets you past the feelings of betrayal the best is looking back and being proud that you handled it the best way possible, and you didn't do anything to be ashamed of later.

DerpJungler · 2019-09-06T09:20:27+00:00

Arrange a dinner at her place where she'll have to cook for you.

Eat, fuck her to sleep, leave and ghost her ass.

It will drive her crazy and you get a nice meal and a good last fuck out of it.

Invest your time elsewhere.

hedden93 · 2019-09-06T06:57:24+00:00

I get it that you are angry and hurt. I've been there man. I would just calmly tell her that you know she's been cheating and then break up with her and lose all contact. Act as though she meant nothing to you. Imo if you plate her, you'll lose respect for yourself. She lied and manipulated you, she's not worthy of you in any capacity anymore.

ANGRY_ATHEIST · 2019-09-06T15:57:49+00:00

The general TRP consensus is to ghost in this situation, but allow me to share a field report.

I had an almost identical situation happen to me back before I swallowed the pill. As a BPer at the time of course I threw a tantrum over it. It was a big part of what eventually lead me to TRP.

A few years, LTR's, and a swallowing of the red pill later, for some reason she came back around. I added her to my plate collection at the time, and the sex was far more incredible than it ever was when we were in a "relationship". She would literally stop in, fuck my brains out, and then leave. It was great. She continued this even after she got into an LTR with some other dude, it was a huge eye-opening experience since for a while I thought she was loyal and possibly "the one".

I'm seeing a lot of guys here calling you a cuck etc, but TRP is supposed to be a toolbox. If you're using it to get what you want, then fuck what ever anybody else thinks about it.

RedHoodhandles · 2019-09-06T08:02:09+00:00

Firstly, I'm sorry this happened to you man.

Secondly, I don't see the problem here. Explanation: You were never in an LTR to begin with. The way I see it, either you were her Alpha-lover plate, and he was the boyfriend, or vice versa. From what you've told me, I don't think it was vice versa. I think he was the boyfriend, the Beta, and you were the Alpha-lover. Now, perhaps this girl couldn't stomach the fact that unlike what society told her, which is giving into her AF/BB instinct was wrong and she had to have "one man", she couldn't lie to you, him or herself and convinced herself that...both of you were her boyfriends, or something like that. That it's not wrong if you're both boyfriends. The reality is one of you wasn't, and I'm guessing that's you. This is both bad news and good news.

The bad news is she lied to you, and you've been through the emotional pain of being in an LTR and being "cheated on". That's what you've been going through the past few days.

The good news is since there was never an LTR, you can't be cheated on. You can't be broken up with. You can't get out of something you that wasn't there in the first place. I know that sounds devastating, but it's a good thing. Why? Because it means freedom. Because she has no claim on you. You can fuck any number of women you want now, with no lasting personal, emotional or relationship consequences. Let me repeat that. You can fuck any number of women now, her, her friends, her family, your friends, girls you meet at bars, girls you meet on Tinder. You can do this without any consequences, to your personal, emotional, or relationship life. You can keep her on as a plate or rather a friends with benefits, you can keep fucking her, keep getting gifts from her, whatever. Because she's just a plate. That's all she ever was, that's all you ever were, that's all this ever was. A part of it sucks, let's say 10%. The 90% is amazing.

She's just a plate who doesn't like feeling like a plate and needs more comfort. You could even call her a friend. It sucks that she lied to you, so she's not a great friend, but she's a girl you like and are in sync with and enjoy fucking and spend time. She's a good girl and a decent plate. Enjoy yourself, enjoy life, and enjoy sex.

All of this is 100% only completely in your head. Do not, under any circumstances, whatsoever, reveal to her, at any level, overtly, covertly, or at any point, what you know, what that makes you feel, or "what it means". For all intents and purposes, it means nothing.

This is high-level stuff, and will take discipline, self-control and self-knowledge. You're on TRP, you know what's right, you can do it. You 're defined by so much more than this girl, any girl, or your "relationship status". Never let her know you know. If she ever brings up any of your actions after this, just tell her its how you feel, or you were tired, or its you not her. If she wants to break up that's fine. But don't give her the satisfaction of drama she full well knows about but is lying to herself about. You're better than that, with more important things, and women, to do.

Do: Start fucking other women. Keep the illusion alive. Keep her happy. Keep the same relationship dynamic, just lesser. Employ push-pull. Downgrade her in your mind from LTR to just another plate.

Do not: Let her know. Withdraw significant amounts of attention, love, time etc from her. You love and fuck her just the same, just the label in your head has changed. Make any serious investments in this girl. Do not move in together. Do not share any assets, home life, professional lives, money matters, family, and as little as friends as possible at this point. Do not announce you're together to anybody who doesn't already know, online, offline, whatever. She, for all intents and purposes, is an acquaintance you fuck in your life now. Would you move in with an acquaintance just because? No. Do not give her any more of your time than you already are, and share smaller parts of your life. Let her be on your team, just not the main romantic player anymore.

I predict a lot of happiness, rough, and satisfying sex in your life in the future. Rejoice! Now you have time for all the other women in your life.

pridebrah · 2019-09-06T09:11:35+00:00

Don’t bother telling the dude my brother, it never works out. He already knows about you, so it’s not going to destroy things as you envision. This is one of the hardest things to come to terms with and I’ve been there myself (post about it in my history). Your best bet is to just next her to begin the healing process. If Better to just start separating yourself from the trash and bettering yourself.

Exes are a motherfucker and always have pull.

SheriffBart42 · 2019-09-06T09:52:27+00:00

At this point, you're playing with the house's money. You are fully justified in never committing to her ever. You are actually in the best spot right now and you don't know it. Her ceiling is capped at plate whether she knows it or not. If I were you, I would hate fuck her until I became tired of it.

All this other emotional stuff about closure and so on... just forget it. I understand the urge, but it's like going to a snake and hoping for an apology after it bit you. Waste of fucking time. Let all that energy you have come out in just fucking her while you still can. Make a memory you can jerk to later when you're an old family man like me. The memory of the bangs will be all you have left from your single life!

pointster_VSK · 2019-09-06T12:05:02+00:00

Just by reading the title. Why is this even a question?

HurricaneHugues · 2019-09-06T13:37:18+00:00

Where's your self respect?

"My first reaction was to end things immediately without explanation."

That's the ONLY option. Tell her in the driest and most nonchalant way "This relationship is over. Im out". Then remove yourself from the situation. Delete her number and text thread. Delete her and her closest friends off all your social media. Move on. It's over.

"Another part of me wants to calmly confront her with all the evidence one of these days after we've fucked, as I walk away after and never speak to her again. At the same time I want to write to the ex too, telling him that me and her have been together indeed as I send her pictures of me with her. She won't have him to go back to either then."

That's the stupidest shit I ever heard. He won't give a single fuck and you'll appear as an even bigger cuck. He'll feel better about himself that she was cucking you with him, and his ego will lead him to believe that she was cheating on you with him because he's such a Chad. They will keep on fucking while talking shit about you.

Cut your losses and just move on. Offer no explanation. Don't drag this out. Don't fall into her frame. Break up, erase her frok your life, and move on.

HumanSockPuppet · 2019-09-06T15:43:49+00:00

Plate her, but say nothing. Only put enough effort in her to continue extracting sex. She has lost the privilege of your emotional investment.

Get into the habit of moving in the direction of things that fulfill your needs and goals. Don't over-invest in lost causes. This bitch is now one of those.

moroots · 2019-09-06T10:16:06+00:00

KISS. keep it simple stupid

just ghost. no contact + no explanation = no drama for you

360_no_scope_upvote · 2019-09-06T12:16:36+00:00

Ghost without explanation. Don't be purple, you will feel better knowing she's going çrazy trying to figure out what the hell she did. Block delete never repeat

LilLoserFreny · 2019-09-06T13:26:23+00:00

Ghost her and dump her. Don’t talk to her again. Don’t give her an explanation for the break up. That’s exactly the type of closure that she wants. This has nothing to do with being bitter or anything like that. Women don’t “love” a man they can’t respect, and obviously your ltr has lost respect for you a long time ago. Yes, it’s true that it was just your turn with her and now your turn is over. With that being said, the answer to to this reality is NOT to continue any sort of relationship with her. I repeat, she doesn’t deserve any sort of relationship, sexual or otherwise at this point. If yin 2-4 years you feel like you want to throw her fuck then fine, but your relationship with her should reach only to that furthest extent.

lord_ah · 2019-09-06T08:34:05+00:00

GHOST her, she will lose it...

Two_kids_in_a_coat · 2019-09-06T13:21:29+00:00

Ghost but send him a picture of her sucking you off first.

Seriously don’t do that. But def ghost. It will hurt her the most. And personally I’d tell the ex.

lololasaurus · 2019-09-06T13:47:46+00:00

Why are you considering digging through the trash can full of rotting waste after it's been dragged to the curb?

This choice would necessarily require you to live in a situation where you are being actively lied to, which is terrible for your own head, and eventually she will probably manage to gaslight you into believing this was your fault on top of it all after you crack and let her know you know.

Hard next. Sorry that happened to you.

TrimHer · 2019-09-06T16:56:15+00:00

NEXT NEXT and NEXT again.

HOWEVER: You should take some time to reflect on your role in creating the environment for cheating and apply it to the next one. What behaviors were you doing or not doing that created the opportunity to cheat?

Anitaliandude · 2019-09-06T17:21:33+00:00

Plate, all the way. Never get rid of pussy. Play the same game, make sure the sex becomes gradually but increasingly kinkier, nastier and humiliating. She wants to be a nasty whore? Make her graduate.

Make her give you a rusty trombone, spit in her mouth, slap her on the face, bruise her up. You have to do it gradually but firmly. Develop that ruthlessness.

When you find someone else, you ditch her.

Been there too.

Yummmi · 2019-09-06T19:26:26+00:00

Come on now buddy. Have some respect for yourself. You know what to do.

Itsjustnickg · 2019-09-06T21:29:46+00:00

I agree with treatscatscrave. However, if you want to make her feel bad, plate her, act like nothing happened and go out and find a hotter girl. Fuck her. Have pics of her in your phone. Have sexy texts from her on your phone. Let her find it. Don't make it too easy to find though otherwise it will be obvious what you are doing. Once she finds out and blows up at you, act confused, say something like "oh did you think we were exclusive or something?" Believe me she will tell you she cheated and that she doesn't care and whatever. The end result of this is a plate with a highly caffeinated hamster due to preselection.

SlappaDaBayssMon · 2019-09-06T08:25:01+00:00

If it was me I'd confront her, keeping it short. Don't waste your time with evidence and arugments and explanations.

"I know you've been cheating, we're breaking up."

Then untangle your life from hers and move on.

I know you're full of emotions rn, but acting on them will only come back yo damage you on the long run.

Go bury your face in a some tits and a sweet smile.

ThrowawayYAYAY2002 · 2019-09-06T09:40:29+00:00

Just end it. The damage has been done.

The relationship has been fragmented, so it's best to just leave.

alleyteris · 2019-09-06T09:55:22+00:00

If you have any belongings in her house get them back , also if she owes you money take that back as well and then hard next her.

Unless you enjoy being manipulated by a stupid cunt and the taste of her ex's cum

prince0verit · 2019-09-06T10:52:26+00:00

It's getting harder and harder for me to be nice to her anymore,

This is where you fucked up. Look where it got you.

At the same time I want to write to the ex too, telling him that me and her have been together indeed as I send her pictures of me with her. She won't have him to go back to either then.

And this just makes it worse.

You have oneitis and it is oozing from your pores. Dump her and spend some time with yourself getting your life, masculine frame, and abundance mindset back where it needs to be.

Leave the other dude to deal with your leftovers.

Republic_of_Ash · 2019-09-06T11:33:28+00:00

You knew the answer before you even posted here.

isthisalreadyused · 2019-09-06T12:33:32+00:00

You next her dude, wtf you thinking?

Totsean · 2019-09-06T13:26:59+00:00

Sex tape that shit.
Next her and get evidence
Send a lovely video of her sucking your cock to her ex. ( you can blur our the face etc)

Or
Just dump that whore and find another girl. Don't over think it, just WALK THE FUCK AWAY.

InsidiousCurve · 2019-09-06T14:23:20+00:00

You can't go from LTR relationship to plate lol because she's always going to think you're still together. You build too much comfort and rapport without any push/pull so she started to branch off to find her ex chad who treated her like used garbage because she loves the emotional adrenaline. By being complacent and still seeing her, she's going to just start to use u to buy her shit without any sex...etc. Show zero respect to you since she behaved this way before and you were complacent.

Yes, she fucked everything up and it hurts since you spent plenty of time emotionally investing in her, yet she's an emotional wreck like all women, and will move to whatever gives her the tingles. As many people say on this site through experience, it's sometimes better to just plate women in general since LTR cause your value to drop.

Truedemocracy5 · 2019-09-06T14:29:02+00:00

If you “plate her” she’s playing you bud

smhfamswag · 2019-09-06T15:24:10+00:00

She’s a whore, hard next.

Don’t ever take a girl seriously who still associates with her ex.

And no, plating is not gonna work since you clearly still got feelings for her.

Sylvester_Sterone · 2019-09-06T15:38:07+00:00

This happens all too often. If it was me I'd just cut her out and go no contact. I wouldn't give her the validation that she was caught. Who knows some cheaters just like the potential thrill of being caught. Any type of attention toward's a person's behavior is nothing more than validation.

_DonDraper_ · 2019-09-06T17:17:44+00:00

Fuck her one more time and send the pics to the other guy. Then block her out of your life. Imagine if the other guy would do the same, it would be LOL and her head would explode from not knowing for sure why.

But this is too much involvement, idealization etc. So, just straight out block her out of your life.

__TheDon__ · 2019-09-06T18:12:50+00:00

Ghost her. It would make her go nuts trying to figure out what went wrong

Stupyyy · 2019-09-06T19:55:49+00:00

She is hustling. She figured out she'd rather fuck 5-10 guys and have 5-10 guys on demand rather 1.

Intentional69 · 2019-09-06T20:19:39+00:00

Ghost. Walk the fuck away. You owe her nothing. Cut all ties no contact. Radio fucking silence. Every bone in your body is going to want to confront her, to put her on blast, to make her feel bad. Listen because this is gonna hurt nice and deep like.... SHE DOESN'T CARE. This is another lesson you will either learn right here right now or later down the line. So make a choice.

XT3M3 · 2019-09-06T20:49:27+00:00

Got cheated on by LTR, to next or to plate?

if you have to ask....... bro. what do you have to gain from this by plating her, have some god damned self respect and end this shitshow. plus atm youre HER PLATE. im amazed that alot of you want to keep fucking someone who is flatout disrespecting you....

carrills · 2019-09-07T06:32:58+00:00

I've had this dilemma recently, then I realized I was wasting too much energy ruminating and dumped the ho. It might suck if you don't have any other options lined up, but in the long run it's better that you don't waste time on people that don't respect you.

Hedser91 · 2019-09-06T08:35:37+00:00

Some sperm cells of the other guy will transfer to you if you continue. Don't know about you but for me that sounds pretty gay man.

nosediver96 · 2019-09-06T07:38:49+00:00

Why you going thru her phone bro, do your own thing

Schhwing · 2019-09-06T07:40:34+00:00

Does she live with you?

Your too wound up in her. She’s obviously a lying slut. What does a lying slut deserve, to be kicked to the curb. So tell her “your a lying slut, and I want nothing to do with you”. And move on. Simple.

How could you be so desperate to fuck her again then tell her. That’s self disrespect. Don’t even touch her again. You shouldn’t even care about her anymore so telling the other dude is pointless.

RedHoodhandles · 2019-09-06T10:23:21+00:00

Next.

SoulRedemption · 2019-09-06T09:31:32+00:00

Don't think hard, next

tee0005 · 2019-09-06T11:37:24+00:00

Thanks for reminding..... Well you know that part.

I think you should call the other guy and suprise her with a date... Or plate her cause "she's not yours it's just your turn". But you in a favorable position. Be glad

LeEbinConchShell · 2019-09-06T13:07:43+00:00

ghost her!

JMIE7 · 2019-09-06T13:36:36+00:00

I went through her phone this past Sunday as she slept

Come on bro really?

777views · 2019-09-06T16:10:35+00:00

What a bitch. Forget her, on to the next one.

Ivabighairy1 · 2019-09-06T17:02:02+00:00

If you had abundance this wouldn’t be a problem. Sounds more like oneitis.

Greaterbird · 2019-09-06T17:15:18+00:00

She couldn't keep her dick in her pants, and didn't even give you the courtesy of breaking things off first. She's not worth the scum she licks off the bathroom toilet.

TFWnoLTR · 2019-09-06T19:29:45+00:00

Hard next. You shouldnt even have to ask.

SeasonedRP · 2019-09-06T19:39:11+00:00

I see this question on here a lot by guys under the delusion that they have the option of downgrading an LTR to a plate under these circumstances. She cheated on you. She's done with you. If you try to keep her as a plate, before long she'll officially break up with you. Plating her isn't going to happen. The only reason you and others in this situation bring it up is that you have oneitis and don't have the self respect to get rid of her for cheating. Have some self respect and ghost this twat and go meet some other girls.

Ironicmask · 2019-09-06T20:46:34+00:00

why is this even a question! next....

papunigga031 · 2019-09-07T17:16:07+00:00

Don’t LTR

Estrogenoxygen · 2019-09-13T01:15:39+00:00

Your best move is to go no contact and work on yourself. Note: you are the plate.

NeedRealityShock · 2019-09-06T10:22:37+00:00

Be a bro and tell the other dude.

InspirationO · 2019-09-06T06:57:14+00:00

Hard next, or demote to a plate

biohackninja · 2019-09-06T10:49:37+00:00

Fuck her badly while chasing other girls. It will help you by being all relaxed when approaching and flirting. You brake that plate the moment you get another one. And you’ll tell her you used her only for sex because she’s a slut.

throaway69404 · 2019-09-06T11:51:46+00:00

Leak her nudes

Title	Got cheated on by LTR, to next or to plate?
Author	MuttonRoll
Upvotes	99
Comments	151
Date	06 September 2019 06:38 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	askTRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/252114
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/d0d074/got_cheated_on_by_ltr_to_next_or_to_plate/