Going through a serious situation and could use some feedback, advice and guidance from the group.
So I will do my best to be a man that says a lot in few words.
Me - 6’0, 200 lbs and under 15% BF, lifts and high T levels. Six figs income. losing some hair… All in all decent looking dude and can spit game.
Ive been with my wife for 8 years and married for 7. She just turned 30 and im about to turn 38. We are both pretty fit and have a nice life going for us in SoCal. No kids as well.
I worked hard to guide her from a sushi restaurant into medical device sales and she just scored her dream job like 6 months ago.
Ever since then she has been treating me like I've lost value, I think its because she has the chance to make my kind of money (I have always made 2 or 3 times her income), maybe it also has something to do with her hitting 30 as well. She has been upset about this and kinda depressed.
So she went on a business trip which was more like a party for her company in Cancun and wound up cheating on me with some guy that (not being a bitch, he had strong game) seduced her. This guy is married with 3 kids and try's to fuck only married chicks any chance he can. He has done this to other chicks at the company. Kinda like a predator.
So I don't have solid factual info, but I got her to admit that he slept in her room one night and they just made out, so she says, but WTF, who would believe that?!?! So lets chalk it up as he banged her, although I don't have solid proof, thats how I view it…
I gave her a chance to make it up to me and the first month was great. After that it faded into what I read as her not being sure she wanted to be with me. She has mentioned things like “I spent my 20’s with you”, and I get the impression that she was going to try to trade up on me. Maybe I'm wrong, but it seemed as if she got worse and maybe she even felt like she got away with cheating, so she could walk all over me. All I know is her attitude/treatment was below the standard as to what I'm willing to accept as a man.
So when she was on a more serious business trip I left her and moved to another state (Colorado has wayyy better divorce laws than California). I just took a bit of cash and left everything outside of my personal shit.
She has been extremely depressed and has lost a lot of weight. It's taken a hard toll on her and I feel she is actually really sorry, but from losing me or her provider? Both?
So here I am in a new city, and I have gotten on all of the dating apps, and geez! Dating is tons different from 8 years ago. Its sooo fucking easy to get laid. Ive banged 7-8 chicks so far, but have come to realize that these aren't quality women, although the chicks have been between 6-8ish looks wise, but they are on there for a reason. they all seem to have different problems. I just find this super unfailing. Most likely just the wrong women. Before her, I used to love the thrill of the hunt and to rack up numbers but maybe I'm just more mature now? Not sure…. Please advise.
So I had to go back to LA for some business and extended the trip to spend some time with her and I have to admit, I really miss my old life with her and my dog. My old place is super fucking beautiful too. She is begging me to come back. I can tell she's extremely sorry. Sex was great too.
im really confused on what to do here. Gut says I need to man up and find a new one as painful as it is.
I have a few ideas on how to proceed.
- Get a divorce and stick it out with her, if she will accept these terms ( she swears she will do anything to stick around)
- Get the divorce and move the fuck on.
- Be a cuck and just go back cause she seems sorry enough.
- What else is a solution? All ears…
Some Key points to mention:
- I feel that due to being on the hook financially has held me back from realizing my full potential business wise, but who knows what the future holds, she may make my kind of money in the future. Am I being a dick here? This is a big thing for me emotionally. Ive seen guys get ruined in marriages. Just doesn't make sense to me. Women have no incentive to act right unless they make more money. I think this is the biggest issue with marriage.
- She was actually a great wife. Cooks and takes good care of me. Never in a million years would I think of her as un-loyal before this situation. She's a good looking woman too. Took me a long time to find her and she wont be easy to replace.
- I actually like being married outside of what can happen financially in divorce.
Sorry if this is coming out as a rant or incoherent. Just trying to make sense out of all of this.
I will edit as I generate new thoughts.