Suspect she cheated in the past. But not sure. What to do?

A hard situation. I can empathize with not wanting to put effort into someone who breaks that trust and shares herself with another man when she vowed to only share herself with you. Or might have.

This used to really get me going. I was previously married, and she DID cheat, at least twice that she admitted, likely much more, so I found myself ill equipped to deal with it when I started wondering if my current wife was cheating when she played her functional separation games.

But what can you do?

You could have frame and just nuke it all. You don't trust her, after all.

I believe one could have frame and not (until you know, then if you keep her around you have no frame), too, but neither of us could do this at the stage you're at.

We could go all amateur detective and still never get conclusive evidence. And the more she finds out you're looking the more manipulation she can apply and next thing you know she'll have you thinking up is down, war is peace, ignorance is strength via incredible gaslighting or other methods. You'll find yourself apologizing to her for her cheating or other crazy stuff like that.

We could go amateur detective and actually get the conclusive evidence. This is a danger in itself when you have no frame. She explains why she did it (anyway, the version YOU get) and it's all your fault and now what will you do? So now with your giant lack of frame what are you going to do? Leave her? With what frame? I think this route is where a lot of blue pill fellas end up in serious danger of self harm.

There is another option, though.

It's in the sidebar. See what you really need is to get to a point - not via manipulation or being fake - where you've lifted so much, and developed so much frame, and have such awesome stuff going on in your life that the power balance has shifted away from where it's at to a place you don't need to actually do this on purpose, but she worries that YOU might be doing this, simply because you aren't living your life needy for her time constantly.

At some point while you're developing this man, you may find evidence that she did cheat. Act accordingly.

At some point while you're developing this man, you may find that you could do way better and not have to wonder about that anymore, and if you actually improve yourself so that your next relationship is not blue pilled, you might even not take the blue pilled self with you and you might be somewhat right. Act accordingly.

At some point while you're developing this man, you may find that she's actually tolerable and worth keeping around because she adds value and brings what you want to the relationship.

But the only way our of the cycle you're stuck in is to develop frame. That's probably only possible once you start to show yourself that you can master something masculine. So start with lifting. Don't argue or play private detective with your wife - STFU instead. Go read the sidebar books. They really are worth your time over and over. Build new habits. Become your own mental point of origin. Build frame. Do hard, excellent things. Achieve mastery and competence. Go train martial arts.

Hope that helps. Sorry you're going through that.