I think the hardest part for a blue pill guy coming to red pill by trauma of cheating is grasping the true meaning of AWALT.
I experienced the following stages when trying to understand and accept AWALT.
Stage 1 - Anger At Her.
How could she have done this. She was my unicorn. She has no integrity. She lies. She’s a backstabber and she’s rewriting history. She was willing to give up so much for so little. She didn’t own it. All women are bitches and whores.
Stage 2 - Anger At Self.
I understand she did this because of AWALT. I was a faggot pussy who created the situation for AWALT to cultivate. I will try and fix this by following the side bar.
Stage 3 - Anger At Self and Her
At this point you read many reddit users giving advice to next her and move on. You are still processing these instructions through a Blue Pill lens, so the following code does not compute. “If I was a faggot pussy who created the situation for AWALT to cultivate, then why should I next her instead of giving her another shot?” DOES NOT COMPUTE => Either AWALT is my fault, or it’s her fault. You can’t have it both ways. Or so you think.
Stage 4 - Acceptance
You realize you can have it both ways. Yes you were a faggot pussy who created the situation for AWALT to happen. However once it happens, the damage is done because it will never be the same.
If you stay, you will never go a day without thinking about it.
If you stay, you will have to add 10 times more weight to that frame you hold everyday just to co-exist with her in the same house. It never goes away no matter how hard you try.
If you stay, you will always wonder if she will flake out again next time you don’t show her attention for an extended period of time.
If you stay, you will lose your self respect. You will look in the mirror and see a guy who is married to someone who cheated on him.
If you stay, she will lose respect for you even through she desperately tells you otherwise.
If you stay, every time you look her in the face while you’re fucking her you will think about the time she was willing to give herself to another married fat fuck in your very own home (and how little attention it took to get her mind to the point).
Stage 5 - Understanding AWALT Is Relative
You’re lifting and getting bigger. You’re focusing on your mission and career. Your voice becomes richer and deeper because that’s the voice you were meant to use.
You begin to notice other women giving you IOI’s and it’s exciting at first. Then it becomes rewarding when you realize it’s no longer a big deal.
You eventually understand that the power that took control of your wife is the same exact power you have with other women. As long as you follow the sidebar.
You stop thinking about whether or not you should stay, and you start thinking about what it’s going to be like when you leave.
You start planning for your own future that doesn’t involve her.
You then realize AWALT is relative. It’s relative in the way women evaluate the value between two men. It’s relative in the way women evaluate how they feel when they’re in the company of one man verses another.
You stop thinking AWALT as a zero sum game. You start seeing it as an unlimited number of interactions with no end to the number of transactions you can try. Each interaction is a chance to become better than you were yesterday.
I have a long way to go, but I couldn’t have done it without you guys. Thanks for reading.