Usually whenever a relationship issue is discussed here, a man will comment on how the woman chased after a guy out of her league and over estimated her own value. These types of comments get lots of upvotes-from what I presume to be mainly men.

When people actually open up about what these standards actually mean, most people are unable to clarify exactly what it is. Most people eventually say it’s about looks.

There seems to be an underlying shaming tactic aimed at women, which from my perspective, has no effect on what women actually do. If a woman likes a man and he likes her, neither one actually cares about being out of the others league or trying to stay ‘above’ that person.

What’s interesting is, regardless of the situation, divorce, abusive husband/boyfriend, it’s always labelled as the woman going after the ‘hot bad guy’. I mean seriously, are people condoning abuse?

Telling a woman she would he happier with a man ‘in her league’ is a projection of what you consider a woman’s league to be from a judgement made at face value when you have no idea of the other qualities the man or woman has.

So many times I read stories like ‘fat girls on tinder get sex too! and with hot guys!’ in reality, those guys probably aren’t as hot as you think, and also online dating makes it MUCH more easier for men since they face less upfront rejection, and hence, men don’t need to be brave or confident, which is a trait MOST women prioritise. The fat girl using tinder knows this guy probably lacks confidence, and therefore she is not actually getting a ‘high value man casually’, she is giving ego stroking and validation in exchange for company.

Also, women in general do not look outwardly to random men’s perspectives on what type of man is in their league, nor do they even think twice about the opinion of most men.

The fact that most men here label themselves as men capable of making good judgements with regards to the happiness of women means nothing. Most women don’t care. We only care about men we care about, and if we don’t see you as a partner, son, brother, or father, we really don’t give a shit.