Maintaining composure (frame) is one of the key attributes of being a man.

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September 21, 2019

I was hard bluepilled growing up. I have written many posts on overcoming my blue pill past. As a short Asian growing up in The USA, adopted by a white family, my first 25 years of life was hard mode. It still is, but now I embrace the challenge. Kids made fun of me. My friends made fun of me. My other white family members didn’t identify with me, nor did I with them. Girls made fun of me. People didn’t respect me; even my own mother would sit down and pray with me (grew up Christian) that I would grow to be a tall and strong man (at 5’5” I don’t think god answered her prayers). Life is a bitch sometimes, but evolution doesn’t select for weak members of a species to survive.

One of the keys to my later life success was learning how to maintain composure. It is a key aspect of being a man.See, when I was younger, I had only two default ways of reacting, lashing out in blue pill anger or hiding-from friends, the world, everyone. I would sit in my apartment and play games, resigned to my friendless and virgin existence.

Shit tests Shit tests are often referenced at TRP with respect to how women test men. The reality is everyone shit tests each other. It is part of the human existence, and it is why we have such amazing social skills and potential, and why humans have reached such amazing success on this planet. The true reality is you will be tested by your mom, your sister, your bros, your boss, your co workers as well as the women we wish to attract/LTR.

Composure I like this word and definition better than “frame”. I also think it is easier for men just swallowing the red pill, or those with low self esteem, to comprehend. Definition: noun the state or feeling of being calm and in control of oneself.

It sounds simple, right? Except, it isn’t. But It doesn’t sound that important, right? Except it is, every human interaction you have for the rest of your life will be tied to this very trait, or ability. Your ability to maintain your composure.

Bluepill Conditioning In the decadent and feminized west, society teaches boys to emote like females. It teaches boys that masculinity is bad, that boys should be sensitive and passive. We are also taught that our chivalry to women will be rewarded. At some age, bluepill rage sets in. Anger and rage is the ultimate end of bluepill conditioning, and I truly believe the end game of bluepill rage is eventually suicide or, even worse, murder sprees then suicide. Just read the bios of almost every male mass shooter in the US or abroad.

Developing Power: Embrace the hard shit in life

Behind every man is a story of struggle and hardship. Life was not easy in our history; life should not be expected to be easy in the future. One could argue a key attribute to being a man is the ability to withstand struggle, challenges, and hardships and know, for certain, you will come out the other side better. In the old days we had rites of passage for young boys. Now, we have single moms teaching their sons to cross dress and gender fluidity...

Humor is and will continue to be hard. It won’t be easy, but even if you didn’t know it, it is step one towards developing your composure and becoming a leader (as well as sexual success and mastery with women).

You think this is too hard? Think you are stuck too deep in a hole? Angry and pissed at the world and women? That is outcome dependence: start by focusing on you and only you. Do hard shit. Be less comfortable. Enjoy the suck and the pain. Make actionable plans and just do them. It is why TRP preaches lifting. Building confidence in oneself and your ability to exact positive change is a first must step to success.

Composure and real life

Composure/frame, the ability to feel personal control and to have emotional stability, is key to all of life’s successes and challenges. The opposite is what defines the bluepill man. It is why bluepill men become simps in female controlled marriages, it is why men lash out in terrible ways, it is why men become betas, male feminists, and white knights. It is a lack of control, or perceived control in their life. It is a place of weakness, and it breeds validation and attention seeking, the opposite of a man who directs his own reality. It isn’t only women who despise weak men, other men will offer you no respect, your boss and clientele will not respect you, and your family will pity you.

Tips to develop composure Note, these are from my n=1 experience, but I believe a majority of men can all put these tips into action, and will develop and achieve success.

  1. Probably the thing that helped me more than anything was pushing my own boundaries of comfort. I used to be lazy, and I had no confidence, thus I never took chances. Once you achieve that first success, that first goal, when you once thought it was impossible, you will see how much your mindset in life can change. Composure control is one of the byproducts of this change.
  2. Watch other people. Humans are incredibly insightful creatures, and we have innate ability to learn from others. Sounds unbelievably dumb, but once you start to learn composure, one of the best tools is to watch and admire people who have it in spades, as well as learn from the less fortunate. Think of a sports leader like Michael Jordan. Or a war general like Patton. Find someone and read up about them.
  3. Outcome independence. This one is key and goes by other names such as IDGAF, mindfulness, living in the present, as well as the Stoic and Buddhist philosophies, etc. IMHO they are different ways of saying the same thing. Pick your favorite, but they all aspire us to reach a point where we live predominantly in the present moment. The past is seen as learning opportunities and the reliving of pleasant memories, but that is it. The future is your goals, but the present is where the living is. This mindset reduces or completely alleviates worry and fear, and let’s us enjoy the present moment instead. Being able to be outcome independent is a “half glass full” mentality. Impossible situations and hardships become challenges to overcome. Fear, uncertainty, helplessness, and emotional uncontrollability (that is what women and children do, not men) become fearlessness, strength, courage, and belief in oneself. The internet is your friend, I recommend doing searches on all these topics such as mindfulness, IDGAF, and outcome independence. Be the captain in the storm who is unswayable, that is how I envision a man of composure.
  4. Be social. One of the ways your composure is tested more than any other is in social situations. If you are socially retarded like I was once, push your comfort level. Find social groups online, like meetup for instance, and start doing shit with real life people. Do taekwando or another martial art with other men. Do construction or carpentry with other dudes. Besides the obvious benefit of learning social skills and talents, people are going to test you all the time, and learning how not to lose your cool or to treat every situation with a present mind will help you develop composure. Being a loner is not how humans evolved.
  5. Patience. This is something we all can practice very easily. In all life situations, the unconscious and emotional response is set to default. It helped us survive, think the fight or flight response, for instance. Being able and learning to control base instincts such as fear and anger is key to developing composure. Start simple. Start by learning to control your impulses. Do you buy expensive shit on the spot? Try and wait a day or two before you do. Do you always feel the need to spout out your opinion any time your emotions are triggered? Learn to control your words and reactions by rationally thinking about those emotions. You will find the emotions quickly go away and you are left with rational thoughts. Simple example: instead of being terrified of approaching a girl, remind yourself she is just that, a girl, a human, with all her own faults and fears. Your fear will lift and you will find that fear was unlikely warranted. Or, when your girl throws a hissy fit and acts like a child, do you plead with her or buy her flowers for compliance, or do you stay calm and brush her emotional tirade aside? Betas with low confidence and no composure do the former, men who stay composed do the latter. Guess who let’s her man fuck her in any way he wants at the end of the day? Guess who sleeps on the bed and rants to his friend about trying to keep a “happy wife, happy life?”
  6. Lift and posture. TRP has said enough of this, but yeah, lift. Learn to lift right, build confidence, develop better posture, put on some nice clothes. These subtle nuances will help develop composure through confidence, as well as help you become more charismatic and able to attract people.
  7. Walk and move slow and deliberately. Sounds simple, and may even sound stupid. But in your daily life, make it important that you not find yourself in a hurry all the time (time management is a key to success in many aspects of life). Walk composed and be deliberate. Don’t fidget and walk tall and composed. Maintain eye contact instead of looking away or down submissively when walking past people (obviously, be realistic, if a group of gang bangers walk by, don’t get into a staring contest). If anything, never do the “wandering eyes” where you feel uncomfortable around others. If a cute girl, give her a subtle wink with a sly grin, too. Watch betas and men with low confidence. They lack composure, they walk with their head down, backs hunched, they walk fast and in a hurry all the time.
  8. Eat healthy. Eat shit and you will put out shit. Slobs do that, not people who can control their addictions. Your body will look better, you will feel better and think better, and duh, people will respect you more. You can’t keep composure if you can’t even control your addictions and are overweight by 100 pounds.
  9. Not gonna go much into this topic, but as you get more composed and you achieve more success, you will be tested even more and often. Expect it. When it comes to women there is endless material on more advanced topics of passing tests and maintaining composure with women such as agree/amplify, using humor, pressure flips, etc. not gonna talk about those here, just go online and learn more.

Maintaining composure/frame is one of the main attributes that sets you apart from the betas, the women, and children. If you are a man and you want women, start here. My life changed forever, to virginless and a loser to becoming a man of character and strength, someone who people respect. Remember, women want a rock. They want a man who can lead, a man who is not afraid to take risks and chances. Not an emotive, pussifed, weak, defensive and un-composed male. Women want men who show traits of strength, fertility, and characteristics of evolutionary success/genetic variation. Black pills/MGTOW/incels think it is 100 percent looks and facial lines. Bullshit. Sexual success will soon follow once you learn to maintain composure from a place of confidence and strength.

Post Information
Title Maintaining composure (frame) is one of the key attributes of being a man.
Author ozenmacher
Upvotes 844
Comments 63
Date 21 September 2019 02:54 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
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Red Pill terms found in post:

[–]FuturePOTUS 1 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy

I took a job as a technical service provider for the installation of large, mechanically complex machines. I deal mostly with seasoned construction workers from the south and I'm a very young looking guy from the north. You best believe those fuckers test me constantly. Always challenging my authority, busting my balls, trying to make me break frame.

These guys think they know everything, and when some young inexperienced looking guy tells them they're doing something wrong, they get pissed. But guess what, when I hold my ground they hate me in the moment but respect me more in the long term.

It's a constant battle out there but I feel myself strengthening rapidly. When you've experienced a huge 6'4 Russian man screaming in your face to the point that he's tempted to throw you off the scaffolding, talking to that cute blonde in the bar does't seem so daunting. If you want to build your composure quickly, get a job like this.

[–]ethical_pa30 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy

If it works for you great! But I think approaching women taps into a different primal fear. It's quite common for guys that have literally been to FUCKIN WAR to have AA and not be able to approach girls because they are paralyzed with fear.

What do they say again? Women's biggest fear is that a man will kill her. Men's biggest fear is that a woman will humiliate him. I think there's some truth to that.

[–]Currinomics28 points29 points  (3 children) | Copy

As someone who moonlighted in club security I know that drunk big dudes are less likely to reserve their impulses. However I've never been intimidated by humans but get shit scared of even small animals like rats or dogs. People pulled a knife and a gun on me but the growl and teeth of the dog does more psychological torture. I guess autism has its benefits.

Hope you get compensated enough for the toxic work environment.

[–]BazingaBen21 points22 points  (1 child) | Copy

Again, like he said above, I think this comes down to exposure to these situations. I grew up around a lot of animals and am not affected when a dog barks aggressively, I can tell their body language now and it's almost always show. Many times I've gotten a dog to like me where the owner has said that they don't normally like people (sometimes they say men in particular) and i do it by not being affected by their barking and growling, instead staying calm and allowing them to sniff the back of my hand before touching them.

It's just experience and exposure, you too can get it.

[–]destraht6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dogs are amazing at recognizing human facial expressions, perhaps better even than humans. If a dog is really on your shit then you can either reach down and touch the ground like you've found a stone or visualize choking the dog to death while staring it down. If one or both of those don't work then its a crazy ass dog for reals and you'd better watch out.

[–]0987653789516 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

That isn't a toxic work environment. That's just manhood. Men give eachother mad shit, if you shit talk someone and they can't even handle that verbal ribbing how are you going to trust them when shit gets heavy?

Toxic is a word for faggot ass soy boi's without the balls to work with other men.

[–]Gaboyski_3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

That'll be a life-saving advice for me when I get an engineering license.

[–]backtothebeginning11 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

When you've experienced a huge 6'4 Russian man screaming in your face to the point that he's tempted to throw you off the scaffolding

So, what happened? How did you handle this situation?

[–][deleted] 43 points44 points  (7 children) | Copy

After reading some Jordan Peterson recently, I realised that these 'shit tests ' that we talk about here, which were quite confusing to notice much less wade through in social situations, are just tests of character. Sounds simple, sure, because it is simple. Human society has evolved this method to differentiate the strong ones from the weak, so as to speak. This is done because strength of character is a learned trait, not an inherited one, so how does society continuously make strong men ? By testing you constantly and giving you ample opportunity to fail and to learn. It's like you're constantly being chiseled by the sharp teeth of the people around you, and shit tests are the best way to learn the hard shit because once you're humiliated, a punishment, you'll remember the lesson.

Shit tests are not obstacles, they're the way.

[–]TwentyEighteen24 points25 points  (1 child) | Copy

I disagree that the purpose is to make stronger men, I’d say it’s just a byproduct. The purpose is to evaluate where you and the other person is on the social hierarchy.

Similar to how chickens will peck each other to see if the other chicken submits. They’re testing and maintaining a hierarchy. Sometimes two chickens will not want to submit, so they get in a fight.

[–]redpill7710 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

Shit tests are not obstacles, they're the way.

I want this stitched on a throw pillow.

[–]silent_dominant1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Stitched on a pillow? You're a manly man aren't you. I bet the girls all wet their panties when you show then your crochet

[–]redpill7715 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

I mean, it's my azaleas that really throw them into a frenzy of alpha widowhood

[–]destraht2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

The problem with assuming that all shit tests are valid is that it ignores the obvious fact that there are many idiot women out there. Passing a shit test from a woman 40 IQ points beneath me is not an achievement worth capitalizing on. Shit tests are a woman not knowing and so going through a lame Excel template program to determine that which she is not capable of perceiving. A higher quality woman on your level is just more likely to simply know due to her finer tuned faculties and so doesn't need to be lobbing abuse bombs all day. The rate and intensity at which many women are engaging their devices is more akin to a cult going out and looking for weak and submissive people by putting hands on the street. Sure in the case of women they will fuck the guy who passes it but my point is that if the women weren't so stupid and numb then they could skip all of that nonsense. Ahh, but then they wouldn't be able to gather their army of beta shlubs along the way.

[–]originaltransvaginal2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not many people realize and then embrace their ability to judge properly.

I've always believed this is one of the advantages of being artsy or stylish. Your art or fashion gets judged. you either recalibrate or you succumb to mediocrity. You realize when people are capable and when they are incapable of recognizing the patterns of character and style in order to appear attractive, in all sorts of ways.

But you need the ability to judge and not feel guilty judging others. Your post points out a valid reason to judge others opinions and actions. And this is necessary, but PC "everyone gets a trophy" culture blue pilled a lot of people into not judging each other. No meritocracy. Everyone's criticisms are valid.

And they just plain aren't. Many people will shit test you vindictively because they feel slighted, regardless of if you actually wronged them. Some will do it just to look better than you in a group, to "get ahead". These are not shit tests to be taken seriously and added to your ego.

They represent interactions with the shit living amongst us and through this realization you will develop composure and pride which will facilitate attraction.

[–]KarmaOutlaw65 points66 points  (1 child) | Copy

Amazing read. I feel very inspired by your words. Thank you. Saved.

[–]AAtmozfears36 points37 points  (1 child) | Copy

I like the part about being tested by everyone not just woman. When I first started training Sambo the more experienced men would test me, poking holes in my music tastes and commenting about how young I look as I sorta have a baby face even though I'm 23. Yet, my learnings here helped me to remain composed and I simply A&A all their bullshit and laughed it off.

Needless to say, I earnt their respect.

[–]ozenmacher[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

I forgot to add that part, martial arts. But yes so many great reasons to do that besides just learning how to defend yourself.

[–]Alek-Reason23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

I never got into Red Pill philosophy, but I nonetheless acquired all these qualities. I just read up on communication, working out, being healthy, stoic philosophy. I also have natural manly interests like sports and mma.

It's funny how it all leads to the same place.

[–]SeasonedRP14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

There is good information in this post. "7" is a good one that isn't discussed much on here, and I'm glad you picked up on it and pointed it out. Newbies shouldn't be overwhelmed, so there is a lot of discussion of lifting, dressing better, and other basic initial steps to improve one's SMV. "7" is a bit more advanced. You perfectly describe how most people move in work and school environments. People rush around quickly; they walk like they are in a race, they hunch over, and look down and don't make eye contact when they see someone. Instead of doing that, stand up straight, have your stance at shoulder width or a little wider, and walk slowly and deliberately with a confident smile (turn the smile into a slight smirk if an attractive woman crosses your path). Keep your shoulders back and chest out. Make eye contact with people crossing your path, and nod or say hello to them. This seemingly small adjustment to how you carry yourself will give you a certain aura. People won't be able to put their finger on it, but something about you will convey an impression of a confident man who has his act together and who is important enough not to have to scurry about like a drone. You'll stand out. Excellent observation, OP.

[–]good_guy_submitter12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thd #1 thing, and also the hardest to acquire with composure, is to truly believe that no matter what happens you will be okay. This applies whether it's a desk job or whether you're a UFC fighter. Do not fidget, do not let flight or fight response kick in.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K189 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

The next step is being able to push and prod the frames of other people, especially women.

First step is yes, learning how to be un-reactive and not allow people to break you, or push your buttons.

Second is being able to challenge others, get their hamster spinning, put the pressure and shit-tests back onto them.

[–]Satou47 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

You've repeated yourself about 20 times.

When people shit test me I see them as less intelligent. People shit test to get more information about your fitness because they can't perceive your level without shit testing. That's why whenever I get shit tested, I lose a lot of respect for that person. Suddenly the reality of their low capacity for perceiving is made profoundly apparent.

The greatest minds, the most competent and capable people I've ever known also never shit tested me. They already know the level of everyone in the room. They don't need to confirm it.

Teasing is a completely different thing.

[–]wukkake6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great post, thank you fellow Asian man

[–]tb0n5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

fwiw, I very much like thinking of frame as composure. There may be certain attributes of frame that are not completely captured by composure, but it is a much simpler way to think about it, which is critical in real time when speaking with people. I can take a deep breath to maintain my composure. Can I take a deep breath to hold frame? I have no idea -- frame is too complicated to sort out in an instant where it matters, at least at the level of TRP I am at.

[–]DeChef25 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

  1. Walk and move slow and deliberately.

I would like to add on to this point because it is a really good one.

I’ve found that you don’t just want to let your feet move you forward. Put each foot down with intention, feeling each step, almost flexing your thigh when you do it. Try it out now because it is pretty hard to put into words

In the end, how you walk is a manifestation of your mindset, so changing how you walk will help to change your mindset into a more composed one.

It is the same principle behind standing up with your shoulders straight.

[–]EntropyForeverx2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree. Correct posture and no hunch back is fcking important. It also will make you more muscled. It will give the appearance of confidence. People notice this shit subconsciously.

[–]hkef16 points17 points  (5 children) | Copy

I liked this post, but the term frame seems broader than composure. If you came home to someone fucking your wife in the living room, and you “maintained composure” but did nothing about it, would that be holding frame? If someone kept consistently disrespecting you in front of your friend group, would it be “keeping frame” to “maintain composure” but do nothing else?

Obviously nobody would advise sitting there and doing nothing like a retard - I’m not saying that’s what you’re saying - but my point is that staying composed is only part of the puzzle. You should also have boundaries and that kind of thing.

Unemotional man-child calmly asks his mommy/wife permission to do anything - composure, no frame

Latin dictator, Presidente Rodrigo Rodriguez pops a blood vessel berating minion - no composure, but would you say he doesn’t have the frame? In fact, someone with a very high status will have a very hard time “losing frame” even if they’re an emotional mess. Maybe them being emotional and you not being emotional, is their frame right now: Being someone’s stolid pillow to cry on whenever they feel like it, is not the same as holding frame. Again I don’t think you would claim that, but my point is you can’t equate frame with being composed.

[–]ozenmacher[S] 19 points20 points  (2 children) | Copy

Fair enough. I will never pretend that I believe my definition is correct or the only one. I still like composure because, even using all your examples, composure does not mean sit their and eat a dick. Instead, use rational thinking and experience to control your emotions. Controlling emotions doesn’t mean “never be angry” or let a guy fuck your wife in your own home with a smile. Does killing him, through anger and rage, sufficiently deal with the situation? Does beating him into a pulp help? Note I never said be unemotional. If your woman is fucking other dudes, drop her ass and forget about her. The irrational man thinks he lost his unicorn. The rational man knows he dodged a bullet and prison isn’t worth it. Making drama isn’t worth it. She may want it but he knows it isn’t worth it. A lot of good books and reads on political theory, developing power, etc in reference to the other examples.

[–]capsigrany6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I like composure as a term to state that you control your emotions. Frame is broader, involves that and also that the interaction is done in your terms.

[–]hkef1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The sidebar’s glossary has a link to a Rollo article that talks about frame. I believe Rollo’s definition is TRP’s “canonical“ definition, if there is one. There may be other valid takes on a word’s definition, but when people talk about frame here they generally mean what Rollo means.

[–]metrocker0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think that situation will probably test ur manhood the most. I can guarantee you the fact that if your wife is fucking someone else through mutual consent, you raging at him is the LAST thing you should do. For whatever reason she did that, spending more energy on that bottomless pit wont be beneficial.

You maintain composure and next her ass. That's what you do and ofcourse say "good luck to both of you" before leaving.

[–]Standgrounding0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dump the wife asap without a shiver in your skin, that's frame in this case. And get some puss right afterwards

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

All this shit for just sex? I had loads of sex, its overrated. Do all those things for yourself.

[–]metrocker9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're missing the point. It's not for sex. Sex is just one of the by products. It's all that so that you can live your life happily, as a MAN.

[–]Standgrounding5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Me at first glance: another serial TRP post about frame

Me after reading this: hey I recognize some beta behaviors in me, is actually useful

[–]birbalthegreat3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

How did you achieve idgaf attitude? Its hard to internalise it when so much negative is going on your in your life!! Its easy to get demotivated and go off the track!

[–]superphotonerd2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think when you're a focused man, and lifting regularly it just comes naturally. You're too busy to waste time so you naturally become more selective with the girls you approach. The increase in confidence makes a big difference. I deal with negativity in the gym through lifting and bag work with the gloves after every session

And also one thing that helps me get through tough times is to remember that no matter what happens, time will march forward and things will pass. Just remain focused on your goals and press on

[–]cdh10033 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Good read. But I don't take most MGTOWs as saying that it's just about looks. Whilst some are, my understanding is that most of them agree with the core RP philosophy, as well as the ethos of self-improvement. They're just saying that the end-goals of that process might not be about sex.

[–]deathhandmachiavelli5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

They're just saying that the end-goals of that process might not be about sex.

MGTOW is nothing new, it is simply the weak being locked out of the sexual marketplace.

In ancient Egypt, only 1 in 17 men actually managed to reproduce, in Britain over 1,000 years ago, the native British were essentially locked off from having sexual access to their own women by invaders (both shown by genetic testing).

Conquerors like Genghis Khan have plenty of sex, regardless of whether or not they see women as the "end goal."

As human males, the time we spend with women is psychologically and physically fulfilling and is one of the greatest natural highs you can experience. The MGTOWs are men who are so unsuccessful at it, or so cowardly, that they give up.

[–]krezombie3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Existence itself is a shit test.

[–]deathhandmachiavelli3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great post, so many truths in there.

There are literally millions that would improve their lives immensely if they read what you just wrote and followed it.

I came to many of the same conclusions as you by living a tough life and having to overcome adversity.

[–]RedPillBillionaire2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm gonna save this. Thanks

[–]InvisibleCarThief2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

This was taken from my notes and explains frame control.

“Frame control is simply controlling the dominant emotion of an interaction. In that moment, THAT emotion you are feeling is YOUR REALITY. If it’s the most dominant emotion in your group, then you are controlling the reality of that group.

Your frame will be interpreted by everyone that comes into contact with you. This means they will feel everything you’re feeling just by the way you are acting/speaking.

If you’re in a group and you feel awkward… they will feel awkward too. If you feel sad, they will feel uncomfortable. If you feel angry, they will feel edgy.

Whatever you are feeling in the moment will be projected through your body language, thoughts and words, so project positive, fun, happy vibes.”

Highly recommend reading NLP books if you want to learn more about this subject. Such as “Introducing Neuro Linguistic Programming” by Joseph O’Connor & John Seymour and the classic “Sleight Of Mouth” by Robert Dilts.

[–]ozenmacher[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I like that definition, I must admit.

[–]Yavuzest2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

also stfu and keep it going,

self discipline is not learned, its forced

you know how to do it, so just flippn do it

you force yourself into it

gotta learn ? Do it

cold shower ? Lets get it hop in

approach and meet new people ? Straight away

search for “3 sec rule”

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Actually, maintaining frame is so much more simple than 9 steps.

You simply must be 100% secure in your self. Absolutely 100-fucking-per-cent solid. Then you don’t have to follow any formula.

It’s a personal thing. Some of us (the born naturals) got it from an early age. The rest of us have to spend years, even decades, to achieve it. It’s kind of depressing to realize that our parents, teachers, the authority figures of society, were often the ones responsible for removing our self-confidence at such an early age and literally teaching us to be passive, insecure man-children. No wonder so many men are fucked up and weak.

[–]Kn314 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great shit! As a newbie, I see a lot about maintaining frame but how the hell dto I create it. With your composure ex it's easier to understand.

[–]grandmasbroach1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Two words make all the difference with women. Don't react. That's it. If you have a gf or plate that's saying a bunch of dumb woman shit. Just ignore her. The second you engage or try asking what's wrong, you lost the game.

[–]NormalAndy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Really a very good read - thanks.

Took my son and one of his schoolmates out for skating and football at the weekend. Jeez, what a mistake I thought I had made! Spoiled little shit didn't like the picnic I had made, demanded I buy him KFC instead- threw his scooter into the middle of the skatepark, sulked, got pissed off that we didn't want to play videogames back home instead, rode his bike around the football pitch throwing litter instead. I was gobsmacked but didn't lose it with him, just maintained composure, told him what I thought of his behaviour and carried on.

I could see my six year old was getting embarrassed/ frustrated with his 'friend' trying to spol it for everyone but was very pleased when he just shrugged it off, dropped in on a big ramp, smashed a few balls in the net instead.

He ended up maintaining composure better than me in the end when he accidetally volleyed me in the nuts towards the end of the day- a peach of a shot that had me on the floor with my eyes crossed for a minute, to the amusement of the rest of the lads...

The shit tests never end. :-)

[–]Roya141 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The looks IMPLY you have that genetic health, strength, cleanliness and confidence. Women also put a lot of emphasis on their personal appearance, that's why they weigh so heavily on men's appearances. Good read.

[–]ViagraAbuser0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fucking good text. I'm a constantly irate Southern French with hot blood, I felt this text is just what I needed.

[–]Zsaqwes70 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

In dealing with depression and loneliness since my break up, I've been unable to replace the emptiness even when I pursue lots of social outlets. Does anyone have advice for this? I crave strong relationships with people I can trust

[–]ozenmacher[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah. You need to get out of your mind. It is the blue pill conditioning in western society, telling men that they need women. You don't need women. At the end of the day when society collapses, women need men. Simple as that. They need strong men.

What helped me a lot was reading Rollo Tomassi and his books. It helped me a lot. Plus, reading does exactly what I said above, gets you out of your head. Gets your mind off shit that doesn't matter (like a breakup).

Lifting, too, because it stimulates your body, and you get to see real results from your efforts. It also gets you out of your head.

In terms of good male friends, it isn't easy, I will admit. Usually there are meetup groups in most cities where you can find groups of other people with similar interests. If you don't have that avenue, try and find/join some sort of martial arts club. Ju Jitsu, taekwando, judo, anything. Anything can help.

Feel free to PM me or reach out to me. Your brothers are here for you. Just know, you aren't alone. Many men on TRP have been in your shoes.

[–]anotherchump990 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great fucking post brother. Could use some paragraphs tho

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Quality post. While nothing new or groundbreaking was said, you summarized things well.

[–]drumperion0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

While I completely agree with you OP, for the love of god, format your goddamn post what is this wall of text bullshit.

[–]ciky210 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Very good post.

Girls don't care much about your looks like guys do about girls looks. I have friend and he is 168 cm tall not really attractive, bald and has hottest girlfriend other people dream about. Its because he has confidence and nice personality. Also he doesnt let her control him and he takes charge in relationship. He has masculine personality and that is what attracts his girlfriend.

Many guys need to know this. Stop wasting your time thinking how girls look at you because of your looks and start working on your masculinity, confidence, self-esteem and exercise. Anyone can get laid and most average looking guys attract girls with their masculinity/personality and not by their looks. Girls will be attracted to you from your looks only if you are looking too good for an example like Jensen Ackles. If you are looking average like 90% males, you wont be attractive to them. Magical thing is you can change that attraction once you start talking to them.

[–]TheDopestPope0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Learn how to edit. Be concise. Boil it the fuck down. Why should I read this when you start with a bunch of woe is me bullshit about being asian. I don't care from the start

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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