http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5555959/Why-raising-sons-question-female-empowerment-doing-boys.html

My son Fin is four. He loves reading, endlessly plays with Lego and has developed a sudden and surprising obsession with bats.

Needless to say, I adore him — and am trying to raise him, like the good feminist I am, to empathise with others, articulate his emotions without fear or repression and to play with pink prams if he wants to.

It recently occurred to me, however, that if I had a daughter I might be more concerned with passing on different messages.

Just as my own mother repeatedly told me throughout my youth, I would be advising my daughter of the importance of being independent, becoming educated, earning her own money and not relying on anyone. I would be encouraging her to be strong.

But I'm not teaching my son any of those sorts of things. Why? I suppose I've always thought it was a given that males will grow up to be strong and independent, self-sufficient and confident, no matter what messages they receive in childhood.

While we're all happy to talk about our desire for 'strong women' in society these days, I'm ashamed to admit that I somehow feel disconcerted to hear someone discuss a 'strong man'.

Because, if I'm honest, when hearing the words 'strong man' I subconsciously think of negative connotations — things like misogyny or bullying. But when I hear the words 'strong woman', I think of victory over oppression.

So engrained has this divide become that any display of male strength seems almost discouraged. And when I imagine Fin growing up, that doesn't sit well with me.

Why? Well, it seems we already have a lost generation of boys, a whole underclass of disenfranchised young men who don't know where they're going in life or what their purpose is. Surely every mother wants her son to appreciate that women can be strong and successful — but no one wants a situation where young boys simply don't know what it is to be a strong and successful man, either.

I know this for sure because one day my lovely, sweet-natured son will be a man. And I want him to accomplish whatever he wants, not because of his gender, but because of his self-worth.

So this lady is quite introspective. It is telling she is willing to admit that she wants a daughter to be a strong, independent, self-sufficient and confident woman, because of her gender, while she wants her son to be the same in addition to lovely and sweet-natured, because of his self-worth, not because of his gender.

strong and independent, self-sufficient and confident.

I think many here don't understand that you get the whole package when encouraging these traits. When you encourage someone to be strong, independent, self-sufficient and confident, they will be less likely to ask for help and show weakness. Encouraging these masculine qualities ultimately manifests itself later as what many feminists consider "toxic," yet here we see a feminist encouraging the traditional male gender role onto a woman. Although she would presumably disparage "toxic masculinity," she also seems to hold it to a higher regard than femininity and ultimately discourages femininity in her daughters.

Q4All: Is feminism anti-feminine and pro-masculine in practice?