From my own experience, this is especially true for more outgoing women in their early-mid 20s.
Women tend to mature faster than men. Not to mention women are on average more social and even regular girls are more likely to get invites to cool parties or offered free drugs/concert tickets/etc. Not to mention offers for sex. In my experience guys have to run in certain circles/be a certain kind of person to have the same lifestyle.
I'm not necessarily condoning hard partying, drug use, or casual sex, but men and women who do have some experience with these things tend to have a certain maturity or at least confidence from having "been out in the world" a bit. At the very least, people like that are rarely socially awkward/anxious.
But I've noticed that even sweet/quiet/non-promiscuous girls are more likely to go for guys that are more experienced in partying/sex/life in general than them, as opposed to similarly shy dudes who barely or don't even drink and prefer to stay home and play video games, all else being equal.
I'm a bit of a late bloomer myself, and a year and a half ago got involved with some people who are more extroverted and party hardy than the typical circles I run in. I've drank and smoked weed for years, but I've moved on to psychedelics and very occasionally cocaine. Not to mention I'm probably drinking and smoking pot more than I used to when I'm going out.
You would think this would be a major turn-off to the sweet, girl next door types when the topic of my lifestyle comes up, but if anything, the opposite is true. I've had more interest and success with shy/quiet girls now that I've changed my social life. I don't brag about my drinking or the drugs I use, but their ears almost perk up when it comes up I do psychedelics and even cocaine. The exception to this would probably be super-religious straight edged girls saving themselves for marriage.
I've never had a date go bad or a girl lose interest because my social life/substance use was brought up. Conversely, I can remember what interacting with girls my age was like when I was still playing catch-up and was fairly introverted. Polite, but IOIs were much fewer and farther between. You could tell there was a palpable drop in interest when it was made implicit or explicit that I didn't have as much experience partying as them.
Maybe it's as simple as people who live high-energy lives are more exciting and interesting to be around. Not to mention it often gives you an air of danger and IDGAF, which can be sexy. Being used to attending large, energetic social gatherings while being under the influence of one or more chemicals also builds a certain confidence and resilience. I've noticed my demeanor is much more relaxed than it was a few years ago.
I'm not surprised at all that this makes guys more attractive or at least interesting to extroverted party girl types because of obvious shared interests, but why does this only seem to help when it comes to "good girls" who you'd think would disapprove of how I live?
I have my thoughts. What say you, PPD?
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