As you may or may not know, I married my longtime partner in a civil ceremony on Friday.

Now that I've had 48 hours to think about it, I've realized that I'm unhaaaaaaappy. I can't stop thinking about all the Chad dick I'm missing out on. The merch dude for the band I saw last Friday...the checkout guy at Trader Joe's...the countless 18-year -olds I see walking into the high school I pass every morning on my commute. I'll never know what it's like to fuck a rockstar, or a politician, or a community college intramural volleyball champ.

Obviously this whole marriage thing isn't going to work out. I'm a woman with needs. But I can't figure out when the optional divorce rape window is. Should I just just cheat with Chads for a year or two while dead bedrooming my BB husband and waiting for him to build up his fortune? Should I pop out a couple kids first for the sweet sweet child support money? (Obviously the kids won't be his, but what daddy don't know won't hurt him!)

What do you think, PPD? Get out now, hop back on the CC and become the cumslut I was always meant to be? Or play the long con? Discuss!!!