So about a year ago, I went back home to the city I grew up in for my birthday.

I had planned to get together with some old friends, but there was one friend I had lost contact with over the years I wanted to invite out. Her & I were roommates for about a year before I moved away. We got along well, knew we weren't each others type, but had great conversations & were great friends. If one of us was out and needed a ride (pre-Uber/lyft) we would call the other. I know after I moved that she had met a guy so we definitely talked less, although we still texted on occasion.

For a long time, both of us had disappeared from each others lives. I now was living in the big city, I assumed she had probably married & settled down. She's attractive, outgoing, would be considered a good catch.

I had changed my phone number shortly after moving & closed facebook since I really wasn't using it much & only focused on business.

I made a new facebook account probably about 2 years ago, I would have added her but it was set in a way you could only send a message. So when I was visiting home, I sent her a short message about how I was in town for a week, that I was going to be at this particular bar for my birthday with my old crew, and if she gets a chance to come out. Nothing. She didn't even read the message....till

Last week (over a year from my initial message), she replies saying she never saw the message because she rarely checks the other inbox, and that she mainly uses the app which doesn't show the other inbox. Then she leaves me her current number, we talk a bit, like old friends.

She tells she has 500+ "other inbox" messages mainly from men, some from dating sites, even some old high school crush, some recently divorced flings, just a nonstop barrage of messages so she never bothered to check it. Tells me since she got a smartphone she stopped checking the other inbox & this is the second time she has in years.

Recently I was out with a woman who kept checking her facebook a lot. Millennial generation so it's to be expected. I asked her if she ever checked the other inbox, she wasn't even aware of it. I told her she has to check it from a computer, so she did when she got home. Same rules apply. Nonstop messages from men.

Maybe Facebook is aware of this so they intentionally hide the other inbox (same as filtered requests).

Conversely, the guys I messaged when I was visiting all replied within a few hours.

tl;dr. Men check the other inbox hoping a woman finds them. Women get overspammed so they ignore it.