Q4MEN How easy is it for you to find an interesting woman that's also physically attractive?

fiat_lux_ · 2017-04-17T15:46:32+00:00

Do you want or value a woman being interesting?

Not at all.

How often do you find an interesting and physically attractive woman?

Often.

How often do you find an interesting woman that's not physically attractive?

Less often.

How often do you find an interesting woman that's incredibly physically attractive?

Less often still.

Why do you think it is this way?

People who are active in mind and body generally don't let themselves turn into unhealthy slobs. Possibly because they have more to live for. That may be why I find more people who are "above average looking" who are interesting to me.

Incredibly physically attractive people are rare, so we see less of them in general, regardless of how interesting they are.

Are some cities or countries or social circles better or worse than others for finding interesting women?

More populated cities are better, simply because of population density. Easier to find people in general.

I'd say 10% of women are actually interesting and among them not even half are physically attractive.

The physically attractive ones likely don't want to talk to you, so they deliberately make short conversation.

That's why I don't care as much about how interesting a woman is, but rather how interested she is in me. The more interested a woman is in me, the more likely she'll become interesting to me subjectively.

anon1moos · 2017-04-17T16:01:44+00:00

It matters greatly that I find her interesting. If she's attractive but boring, then its really all about sex, which is usually not going to comprise the bulk of our time interacting with each other, and therefore its a waste of my time.

I find interesting and attractive women quite easily. Interesting and not attractive infrequently, but it does happen. "Incredibly physically attractive" again, rare but it does occur.

It is this way because of the way I've set up my life, and the people I interact with.

HugMuffin · 2017-04-17T16:06:23+00:00

I could walk around my dorm right now and quickly find dozens of attractive, interesting women.

reversetranscriptACE · 2017-04-17T15:40:12+00:00

When I was in school, it wasn't too hard since I met hundreds of people my age every semester.

Now that I'm out it is difficult and I have to be quite proactive to expand my social circle.

trail22 · 2017-04-17T15:30:05+00:00

Not rare. Or are you saying also single, well then pretty much never; mostly because they don't seem all that interested in us getting to know each other.

wub1234 · 2017-04-17T15:42:02+00:00

It is easy to find an attractive woman. It is relatively easy to find an interesting and intelligent woman. It is difficult to find a woman who you find attractive and interesting.

I think your conclusion is essentially correct. But also particularly attractive women come to be valued for their looks, so they naturally tend to place more emphasis on that.

Also, I believe that, contrary to what some people suggested in other threads, we are not likely to be handed multiple massive genetic gifts. If you're given an outstanding brain, you're not likely to be handed beauty. Many people get neither.

If you're lucky then you get one big genetic gift handed to you, and if that's beauty then the chances of you also being a compelling human being are slim. It's something I've noticed with actors, they are so boring when interviewed. You see Robert de Niro interviewed, he's got nothing to say. Take away his script, he has no insight into anything. He's not articulate. Same with Brad Pitt. I tried to watch Brad Pitt's actor's studio, and it was excruciating.

I remember reading in John McEnroe's autobiography that he tried to be a musician after he played tennis, and he was basically lousy. And his wife said to him "look, you don't get to be one of the best tennis players of all-time and a professional guitar player. You can't play. Stop doing it".

If you're particularly attractive, yes there is less incentive to work hard, but few people are handed multiple massive gifts and abilities. The only reason we think otherwise is that the movie industry constantly depicts fabulous-looking people doing amazing things. I saw a clip on TV of Tom Cruise supposedly doing his own stunts for Impossible Mission films. Complete bullshit PR. As if they're going to get Tom Cruise to do anything dangerous! Oh, bad news everyone, there was an accident on set and Tom Cruise is dead. Yeah, it does mean that we can't finish the picture, but hey, we were only expecting to make a couple of hundred million dollars out of it. I still stand by the decision not to use professional stuntmen.

Most people are average, mediocre, humdrum, mundane, run-of-the-mill, but generally decent. If you get handed one great gift, make the most of it.

MarriedLifter · 2017-04-17T17:02:20+00:00

I mean, assuming that you're not looking for sorority Stacy, and you're not all "2/10 pointy elbows," then there's plenty of interesting, attractive women out there.

So I'm suburban middle-to-upper-middle class, with a degree from a good university, and I live in a blue state. When I was in college, there were tons of attractive and intellectually interesting women everywhere. I married one! And now that I'm middle aged, I still know plenty of others, though admittedly most of them of them are off the market. (UMC divorce rates are only about 15%, assuming a college education and a marriage after 25. But even the rare divorced folks tend to wind up in LTRs after a couple of years.)

But then again, my friend group is skewed towards the kind of people I think are interesting, and who take at least some care of themselves.

Merger-Arbitrage · 2017-04-17T16:31:22+00:00

Do you want or value a woman being interesting?

Definitely.

How often do you find an interesting and physically attractive woman?

They are a minority out of the whole population, for sure.

How often do you find an interesting woman that's not physically attractive?

I think naturally you'll find more interesting women than both interesting + attractive. Even still, they are a minority.

How often do you find an interesting woman that's incredibly physically attractive?

I'll just say that logically they are even less prevalent than the 'merely attractive' ones. After a point I don't judge on looks, though.

Why do you think it is this way?

Most people aren't raised in a way that encourages them to try new things and expand their skills or knowledge of the world.

Are some cities or countries or social circles better or worse than others for finding interesting women?

UMC+ areas around prime employment locations (think: NYC, Boston, SF, etc.)

Women on average do what they need to to draw attention. The more beautiful a girl is, the less she needed to use her words and mind to draw attention, the less reason and incentive she has to develop parts of her that would make her interesting.

Some women are smart enough to know that being a full package will increase her odds of attracting the full package. If you're vapid then you're either also going to attract someone vapid or start exchanging looks-for-brains.

The common link between the most interesting women I've ever known is that they read a lot as a child, and grew up in a way that's different than most.

Yes, as said before, they were encouraged by someone to open their minds and explore different things.

SilentLurker666 · 2017-04-17T16:56:11+00:00

It's easy to find any interesting women that's also physically attractive to me. The problem is, most often then not, they are either married or in LTR.

I think Op is trying to draw some correlation between "beauty" and "interesting", but I don't think such relationship exist because "interesting" is very subjective and varies from person to person.

I hang out with vastly different crowds... there's the "car & tech" geek crowd, there's also the "MTG & D&D" crowd, and then there's the "karaoke & pop culture" crowd. I'm sure they'll each constitute "interesting" very differently.

wtknight · 2017-04-17T17:08:32+00:00

It depends upon where one looks, of course. I would say that one in four women that I met back when I was actively searching were attractive and interesting enough for me to want to get to know better.

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[deleted] · 2017-04-17T15:41:35+00:00

Most people are about an average level of interesting. It is unusual to meet someone and think 'hmmm, what an interesting person'.

I meet lots of people who I get on ok with, we can chat and drink a beer. But not many who stand out as particularly interesting.

There are a lot of women about who don't stand out whatsoever personality wise, and probably that is for the best cos when they do it is usually for the wrong reasons. If you can just get along and have some common interests, can have a laugh sometimes then that is not a bad start.

sublimemongrel · 2017-04-17T16:02:22+00:00

Your premise is based on the idea that women "become interesting" solely to get the attention of men. This is obviously false.

[deleted] · 2017-04-17T16:01:34+00:00

It's not super difficult for me. I've been in only 4 relationships, but 2 of them were with pretty attractive and intelligent women. Though my biggest issue has always been they seem interesting in the beginning then turn out to really not be after friends point out things that I couldn't see earlier (like my last one who isn't one of the two btw).

I've learned that I definitely need a woman who won't play games with me, and those are rare to find regardless of age and at least from experience has been getting harder to find as I date older. Being interesting and putting up an intelligent conversation would be second on the list.

DrunkGirl69 · 2017-04-17T16:04:48+00:00

A little easier than it is for a woman to find an attractive man who's also willing to commit.

The difficult thing isn't finding physically attractive women or interesting women. The difficult thing is finding women who aren't cunts.

The fact that a woman is physically attractive, or interesting, or both, doesn't mean she's not a cunt.

reepbot · 2017-04-17T16:18:03+00:00

Very hard.

eliechallita · 2017-04-17T16:31:20+00:00

Anyone who only has their physical attractiveness going for them is going to get boring pretty quickly.

I value interesting people in my life in general, men or women, because I like having friends and acquaintances that I can actually interact with. I've met some women who were attractive but ultimately uninteresting, and it never lasted long. I've also met many women whom I found very interesting but whom I wasn't attracted to, or with whom a romantic attachment simply wasn't an option (prior engagements, different lifestyles, colleagues, etc.) and I'm still good friends with many of them.

And I was lucky enough to find a woman who is both very interesting and very attractive to me, and I'm doing my best to keep that one.

I guess that the best place to find interesting people will depend on your definition of interesting: I know I have a better chance of finding people I like in San Francisco than in Backwoods, Alabama for example, and that I'm more likely to get along with people at my gym or at a coffee shop than in most clubs.

despisedlove2 · 2017-04-17T17:37:49+00:00

Most women in my profession are somewhat interesting. Some are physically attractive as well.

I am not looking, so it doesn't matter. But if I did, she would necessarily need to have something between her ears, for me to be much interested in what she has between her legs.

[deleted] · 2017-04-17T17:43:29+00:00

Very difficult. Although to be fair, I find most guys boring to talk to also. I'd say of the people I run into 25% of guys are interesting and about 5% of women are.

Kerb_Poet · 2017-04-17T18:08:54+00:00

Do you want or value a woman being interesting?

Yes, absolutely. Our ability to have a conversation is one of my most important priorities in a relationship.

How often do you find an interesting and physically attractive woman?

Frequently.

How often do you find an interesting woman that's not physically attractive?

Less frequently.

How often do you find an interesting woman that's incredibly physically attractive?

I don't come across many incredibly attractive women, sadly.

Why do you think it is this way?

I tend to be attracted to a particular type, i.e. artsy hippes and blue haired feminists. I get along well with these types of people.

Are some cities or countries or social circles better or worse than others for finding interesting women?

Places I find interesting, hot chicks-

Toronto. London (Ontario). New York. Seattle. San Francisco. London (UK). Manchester. Sheffield. Edinburgh. Berlin. Amsterdam. Tokyo. Seoul.

Places I don't.

Eastern Europe. Most of the UK. Mediterranean. Most of Asia. Balkans. Scandinavia.

yayeey15 · 2017-04-17T18:14:59+00:00

Do you want or value a woman being interesting?

don't think I'v ever seen an interesting woman in real life before, so I wouldn't really know. The main/only thing I care about is whether or not she looks good.

How often do you find an interesting and physically attractive woman?

How often do you find an interesting woman that's not physically attractive?

How often do you find an interesting woman that's incredibly physically attractive?

more or less never.

Why do you think it is this way?

because no one is fucking interesting, I am thinking back to every single person I have ever seen or interacted with in real life, and honeslty I can only recall one that is actually interesting or atleast appeared interesting (average looks). Everyone else is boring and average.

[deleted] · 2017-04-17T18:27:58+00:00

Define interesting however you like, interesting to you is what matters.

Okay cool.

Do you want or value a woman being interesting?

Of course, I do LTR's.

How often do you find an interesting and physically attractive woman?

Interesting in terms of initial conversation, very often.

Interesting in terms of specific personality traits I look for, hard to say because they're unlikely to come up in a casual chat.

But indicators a girl is interesting to me (alternative style e.g. tattoos) very common.

How often do you find an interesting woman that's not physically attractive?

Also very often, the provisos set out above applying.

How often do you find an interesting woman that's incredibly physically attractive?

Incredible attractiveness is by definition rare.

Why do you think it is this way?

I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to answer this.

Are some cities or countries or social circles better or worse than others for finding interesting women?

Of course. I personally consider my social circle more interesting than the general population, and those kind of people are a minority in the big picture.

funny_lyfe · 2017-04-17T19:37:23+00:00

In college it was really easy. Now, not so much. Most attractive girls that I come across have absolutely no personality. There are some that do, they usually belong to higher middle class. I almost don't even have access to those kind of women. They rarely move in middle class circles.

trpobserver · 2017-04-17T21:33:52+00:00

I've never met a truly interesting woman.

That is, a woman I would be excited to talk to even if there was absolutely no sexual component involved.

Alth12 · 2017-04-17T22:06:34+00:00

Rarely meet women who are attractive and interesting. Outside of old friendships I've met one, who is my ex and now a great friend.

Where I live it's really diva-y. A lot of the women are very intelligent, and career driven, but I don't find them interesting. Outside of their work they don't tend to have anything to talk about and their hobbies seem to start and end with drinking in trendy wine bars and shopping.

They also have the tendency to put on the young and dumb act. Statements I've heard include "what I don't get with the titanic sinking is why didn't they just airlift everyone to safety in helicopters?" and that from a woman who is a doctor. Either they're that dense in common sense or its an act. Either way, it's not appealing to me.

Pretty much their lives are trying to emulate the Kardasians or TOWIE or any of those type shows.

wvj · 2017-04-17T22:30:39+00:00

I don't think it's difficult, but I don't have RP standards of 'anything less than supermodel jailbait = over the hill hag'.

Regarding your question, I'd say yes/fairly often to most of the questions, but the one about locations/social circles is key: I live in a large city (NYC), went to grad school, etc. My social circle is almost exclusively college educated or better, most have careers in things like tech or finance (with the few oddball free spirits being in the art scene), etc. So I don't really meet any women who can't hold a conversation, and most are pretty appearance/style conscious.

[deleted] · 2017-04-17T23:00:02+00:00

The difficult thing isn't finding an attractive, interesting woman. It's finding an attractive, interesting woman who would be into you.

Christian_Kong · 2017-04-17T23:05:19+00:00

Do you want or value a woman being interesting?

Not much

How often do you find an interesting and (not/very)physically attractive woman?

Nearly never. .

Why do you think it is this way?

Most people are not that interesting, and most womens hobbies(hobbies that women tend to do) are not very exciting to me.

Are some cities or countries or social circles better or worse than others for finding interesting women?

Yes, social class as well as upbringing/socializing can make for more interesting people.

I'd say 10% of women are actually interesting and among them not even half are physically attractive.

Agreed. As an American, there are a lot of overweight and obese women. I am not sure about %10 of women being interesting, I have never kept a count but again, few people are interesting.

The more beautiful a girl is, the less she needed to use her words and mind to draw attention, the less reason and incentive she has to develop parts of her that would make her interesting.

I do not think everyone does things for attention.

The common link between the most interesting women I've ever known is that they read a lot as a child, and grew up in a way that's different than most.

I certainly agree with the 2nd half of that. People with abnormal upbringings often have interesting stories.

With all this said, just because someone is not interesting, that does not mean you cannot enjoy their company.

olivary · 2017-04-18T02:16:55+00:00

Women on average do what they need to to draw attention. The more beautiful a girl is, the less she needed to use her words and mind to draw attention, the less reason and incentive she has to develop parts of her that would make her interesting.

You answered you own question, 95% of women seem to lazy to be both pretty and interesting. Pretty ones get attention for their looks so they totally neglect character development. Ones who do interesting things Like have PHDs in Cancer research or something, often let themselves go to the point they rarely look like women, let alone anything sexy.

test822 · 2017-04-18T15:10:54+00:00

Do you want or value a woman being interesting?

of course. why would I want to spend time with someone I wouldn't even want to talk to

How often do you find an interesting and physically attractive woman?

pretty much never

How often do you find an interesting woman that's not physically attractive?

somewhat often

How often do you find an [un]interesting woman that's incredibly physically attractive?

pretty often

Why do you think it is this way?

all women have more pressure to conform compared to men, due to their higher dependence on the social group for safety due to their weaker physical strength, but attractive women have even more pressure to conform (since other jealous women are waiting for anything to eviscerate them for), which means they accept status quo pop culture, which I don't find interesting. also, attractive women just have everything handed to them, so they never have to develop their personalities to survive.

ugly women seem to have more of a "fuck it" attitude where they've already failed at fitting in, so they might as well go off the rails and try out new things, because people reject them already as it is so they have nothing to lose.

PaperStreetVilla · 2017-04-18T17:32:56+00:00

1:30 at least, by personal research.

Add non fucking in there, it jumps to 3:300

Title	Q4MEN How easy is it for you to find an interesting woman that's also physically attractive?
Author	SetConsumes
Upvotes	7
Comments	122
Date	April 17, 2017 3:26 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/65w7in/q4men_how_easy_is_it_for_you_to_find_an/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4men-how-easy-is-it-for-you-to-find-an.268805 https://theredarchive.com/post/268805