CMV: Slut shaming is primarily a F2F issue

goatismycopilot · 2017-01-09T18:28:04+00:00

Seems like something I have vague memories of women doing it when we were all in high school, not a conversation topic I have heard friends engage in in literally years. So, I have not seen it. I see lots of slut talk here in PPD, that is about it.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2017-01-09T19:02:02+00:00

Not sure how this view is changeable. In your experience you've witnessed X, in my experience I've witnessed the opposite. What other supporting evidence could there be ? There's that girl who killed herself after banging the football team and then the guys bullied her about it after. Every single N count debate thread always have men saying how disgusting it is for women to have high N and be sluts. That's my supporting evidence that it's not primarily a F2F issue.

lollygagyo · 2017-01-10T01:41:23+00:00

Not ime.

Every single ''you should get raped and die in a hole, slut!'' msg I get is from a dude.

About 10% of the time, when I turn a guy down, he'll respond with some variation on, ''you slut!'' or ''but you look like you're asking for it, slut! How dare you refuse me''. This was worse, when I was younger (between 15-18), seemed easier to scare and did not know how to dress for my figure/hide my curves, because I had yet to notice them myself.

Particularly egregious incidents: the guy who claimed I shouldn't have gotten a boob job like a slut if I didn't want men to hit on me (I don't have a boob job), every guy who's followed me down multiple city blocks, talking about what he does to sluts like me etc

I've been ''competitively'' slut-shamed by women IRL (girls who want to compete for some dude that I'm generally not interested in), but it's very tame and doesn't compare to the shit I've seen men pull.

That said, men don't slut shame actual sluts, ime. They slut shame girls who look ''trashy'' to them.

AnnOnimiss · 2017-01-09T18:42:18+00:00

No, guys do it too. Personally I haven't been directly called a slut, but I hear guys call other girls that and I've had a boyfriend praise me for "not being slutty like [other girl]" There's pressure from men and women to conform.

Sandralees · 2017-01-10T00:34:06+00:00

4 days ago in the European news: women slut-shaming facebook groups uncovered. At least 2 groups featuring 50.000 men posting stolen nude pictures of their conquests online without the women's consent and slut-shaming them. It is said that similar groups exist on other platforms.

Link to the article (french): http://m.levif.be/actualite/international/babylone-2-0-quand-des-hommes-s-echangent-des-photos-de-leurs-conquetes-a-leur-insu/article-normal-595257.html

What is wrong with these men?

bones_and_love · 2017-01-10T03:57:31+00:00

lol my guy, if you don't hear slut shaming comments from your friends, then they aren't out there hitting up the sluts. It goes hand-in-hand, fucking with hos and knowing what they are at the same time. A buddy of mine was hanging with a girl and ended up fucking her that night but he told me she's a dumb slut and we should try to run a train on her.

Guys don't usually bring it up to women directly since it's not usually a smart thing to do, but they sure do bring it up in private.

Yonderlander · 2017-01-09T18:54:19+00:00

Well you have discarded one of the main male forms of slut shaming (bitching about so called "N counts," so immature) therefore when you narrow the goalposts like that how can anyone change your view?

[deleted] · 2017-01-09T20:27:52+00:00

Maybe you have heard about /r/theredpill? Those dudes are all about slut shaming over there, you should check it out some time.

[deleted] · 2017-01-09T20:47:55+00:00

Eh, no. However there's no way I can actually cyv, since your only evidence is anecdote and "mean girl" stereotypes. On my end, men were and are the biggest slut shamers, or at least the most likely to gossip about which women get around and express disgust or distain at that fact. I'm not really sure how you can reconcile the idea that men have a visceral disgust towards sluts, and the idea that men don't really care about sluttiness outside of a breakup situation.

wub1234 · 2017-01-09T19:15:41+00:00

You may get isolated examples of women doing this, but mostly it is men.

Archibald_Andino · 2017-01-09T19:14:45+00:00

I would argue that you should change your view because women also slut-shame men too. Suppose a guy has a reputation as being a player, suppose he openly admits to wanting one night stands, to wanting to sleep with as many different women as possible.... watch the reaction from females: harsh, harsh shaming. Heaven forbid he admits to going to escorts. There is no 'double standard'.

To your point, males slut-shaming females almost never happens in the real world.

[deleted] · 2017-01-09T21:32:00+00:00

yeah sluts lowers the value of sex, which make men less willing to pay a high price (marriage, commitment) for it. Its natural for some women to shame them.

TheMackFather · 2017-01-09T23:43:18+00:00

r/theredpill

That is all.

wombatinaburrow · 2017-01-10T00:31:45+00:00

I've never been called a slut by a woman. I have by men.

washington_breadstix · 2017-01-09T21:55:37+00:00

Men and women do it in different ways.

I hear of more women overtly slut shaming out of jealousy. Woman 1 calls woman 2 slutty if woman 2 is sleeping with the guy whom woman 1 is crushing on. In the same vein, woman 1 calls woman 2 slutty if 2 is hotter and has an easier time attracting men than 1. Woman 1 has downright vitriolic rage against promiscuous women because she envies any woman who is clearly more desirable than she is.

Men have a different brand of "slut shaming" that some would argue isn't really slut shaming. Of course, they want at least a few sluts to exist because they need someone to have casual sex with. But they wouldn't want to enter a long-term relationship with any of these slutty women. It's not necessarily shaming the sluttiness itself, but rather treating "slut" as a label which invalidates that particular woman's potential for anything other than fucking. And especially as a LTR prospect.

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csehszlovakze · 2017-01-09T19:19:12+00:00

F2F?

cloudstryfe · 2017-01-10T12:30:51+00:00

I'm lost. All my guy friends irl love sluts and have no issues with their Promiscuity on a personality level. Sluta might not be dating material but that's another kettle of fish, not slut shaming

GavinSkulldrinker · 2017-01-11T01:21:09+00:00

I've met like ONE dude in the past two years who I remember shit-talking a girl at work who fucked him once but wanted nothing to do with him after that. The word "slut" was used.

In my peer group, it never comes up. Its not a thing we say to women or even amongst ourselves. The closest we get is slightly stigmatizing the hot hypersocial "nerd" girls with a suspiciously large number of male friends, and that's honestly just us trying to remind ourselves not to walk down a road that leads nowhere.

Really, I think the closest thing I ever came to thinking of a woman as a "slut" was when a girl who was currently dating a friend of mine started hitting on me and messaging fairly obvious come-ons ("I know how to make you feel good"). And that was more disgust at her being a garbage person (disrespecting my friend, thinking I would be that shitty of a friend to him).

Another woman gave her phone number to one of my friends while on a DATE with another mutual friend. As in, she's on a (3rd, 4th?) date with a guy, they run into a group of his friends, and she surreptitiously passes her phone number to the hottest one.

I call that being a shitty person. Its unethical behavior. And the term slut never gets used.

women ENDLESSLY dish on eachother about some other girl's sluttiness. With exactly that word.

SipsSparklingWater · 2017-01-09T19:22:50+00:00

Nope. Men are the only ones who shame. They shame betas, Alphas, sluts and each other.

[deleted] · 2017-01-09T22:52:32+00:00

Its not socially acceptable for men to slut shame. Men are a lot like white men, in that they're universally handicapped by people obsessed with utopian ideals of equity.

Title	CMV: Slut shaming is primarily a F2F issue
Author	GaiusScaevolus
Upvotes	33
Comments	228
Date	January 9, 2017 6:04 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5mz753/cmv_slut_shaming_is_primarily_a_f2f_issue/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-slut-shaming-is-primarily-a-f2f-issue.270742 https://theredarchive.com/post/270742