Hi Everyone. First post here. I was directed her by another Reddit member. They said here is where I should ask this advice.

My wife and I have a decent sex life. Goes in spurts but we generally enjoy it when it happens. Were married 8 years, I’m 42, she’s 37. We are an attractive couple.

This morning when we woke up, after talking about sex we had last nite, she said that she was thinking of “spicing things up” a little bit. I asked her what she meant, and she said she was thinking about bringing another man into the bedroom, no emotional strings attached. Right away my chin dropped at the thought of it, as i have never done this before. She said not to freak out, she read that many couples do it under agreed terms, and it betters their sex lives.

I am KIND OF up for it if it will make her happy. However, she wants it be someone we know who we can trust. She mentioned an ex boyfriend of hers who is a mutual friend of ours as a possibility. He’s now married too. Good guy, we see him around mutual friends. Now the GOOD with this is, we know the guy and he respects me with my wife. Their time has passed. What WORRIES me about it is, from what my wife has told me about him, they had VERY rough sex. Kinky, even degrading stuff. Even her friends have told me when we first started dating in a joking manner.

QUESTION: Is she trying to relive what she had with this guy? Or is she really trying to better OUR sex life?