If women who are mistreated by male partners are at fault for choosing the hot douche instead of the unattractive nice guy, what about men who are mistreated by female partners? Is it their fault for choosing the hot bitch instead of the unattractive nice girl?

prodigy2throw · 2016-05-18T14:41:12+00:00

It's totally their fault. Yes.

I support victim blaming both men and women.

[deleted] · 2016-05-18T15:23:49+00:00

Everyone is responsible for carefully and effectively vetting potential sexual/romantic partners for compatibility and suitability. This is why it's important to know what you want (be it a casual, no strings fling, or a serious LTR), what you need, and what your deal-breakers are, and what you personally bring to the table in terms of value. This goes for both men and women.

I don't believe there is a correlation between 'nice' and 'mean' that is tied solely to a person's physical appearance. Lots of ugly people are jerks, lots of attractive people are jerks. That's why everyone would do well to understand what they want and need, as well as when to walk away.

lady_baker · 2016-05-18T15:01:11+00:00

[deleted]

exit_sandman · 2016-05-18T15:49:45+00:00

How many guys manage to date women who qualify as hot in the first place?

BaadKitteh · 2016-05-18T20:14:09+00:00

Of course it is. Men are just as likely, if not more so, to take bullshit from a partner just because she's hot enough to impress their friends. It's stupid on the part of anyone who does it.

gasparddelanuit · 2016-05-19T09:46:33+00:00

No one argues that women are to blame for their mistreatment because the guy is hot, but because they go for bad boys.

Study Finds That Men Like Nice Women, But Not the Other Way Around.

You are strawmanning.

kick6 · 2016-05-18T15:41:04+00:00

yes, but

If the ugly guys are de facto much nicer than hot guys, then wouldn't ugly girls be much nicer than hot girls?

makes no sense. Just because one is true doesn't mean anything about the other.

sittinginabaralone · 2016-05-18T15:39:20+00:00

I don't think you should judge people's behavior based on how attractive you find them, especially if you consider them inversely proportional. That sounds like a horrible way to view people.

But you have to be realistic with yourself. If people consider you a 5 and you land yourself a 10, ask yourself what's happening.

A lot of "abuse" is just people doing shit they know they'll get away with because they know you need them more than the need you. "Weak" people bring out the worst in people. It's all relative.

[deleted] · 2016-05-18T14:52:35+00:00

what about men who are mistreated by female partners? Is it their fault for choosing the hot bitch instead of the unattractive nice girl?

Yes, it is his fault. He should have vetted her better. But it is also true that, many times, he did trust her too much, fail to put her in her place, and let himself go.

Most times, he chose a hot bitch who he cannot manage or is unwilling to do the necessary work to manage. She is a woman who's had sexual experience with more attractive men than he is, he selected her as she alighted from the carousel. She picked him to be the beta safety net/provider, and is now all pissed off that this pudgy milquetoast she married actually wants to fuck her. I mean, who the fuck does this guy think he is? He wants something from HER, actually thinks he has a right to expect something from her?

then wouldn't ugly girls be much nicer than hot girls?

Not necessarily. The thirst is real. Ugly girls and fat girls are getting more and more entitled and bitchy by the day. Turning down guys left and right, expecting sex and relationships from the top men. All because some 9/10 dude actually slummed it one night and dumped a drunken fuck in her, she thinks she is entitled to marriage to a 9/10 or above.

AWALT. Ugly girls, fat girls and unattractive girls shit test, comfort test, are hypergamous, and generally act like their more attractive counterparts.

jackandjill22 · 2016-05-18T14:55:09+00:00

Most betas are getting unattractive bitches

redmachines · 2016-05-18T15:49:24+00:00

No. Your post implies that men do the choosing which is not true. Women always make the choice when it comes to dating. Unattractive women have just as many choices as attractive women so they aren't going to chase you.

despisedlove2 · 2016-05-18T18:19:25+00:00

Yes.

You are responsible for your bad choices. The best way to avoid such mistakes is to understand the essential baseness of the female nature.

If you play around with a hissing cobra, you can't blame the cobra for the inevitable bite.

wordjedi · 2016-05-19T05:10:57+00:00

"Nice" is relative. Definitely I've been treated best by chubby girls. Not fat myself. Skinny hot chicks, not so much. So predictable it's almost like a math equation.

[deleted] · 2016-05-18T15:00:19+00:00

The women are to blame, that's why I advocate ignoring girls who are treated badly by ''Chad''.

InBaggingArea · 2016-05-18T15:04:10+00:00

More or less, yes. It's their fault for not getting the chutzpah to choose for themselves instead of waiting to be chosen, and for choosing a dragon who protect them from the social world they would rather not deal with, but will breath fire and brimstone on them into the bargain. They should bail at the first sign of this, but they are weak, and life is full of exigencies and vicissitudes.

Despite all this, it remains true that the agent of abuse is the woman (in your example, not in general).

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[deleted] · 2016-05-18T15:28:06+00:00

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bornredd · 2016-05-18T16:13:43+00:00

If someone is being mistreated and doesn't leave their current relationship, then yes, it is their fault. That applies to both men and women.

They chose poorly in the first place, and then refused to correct that error by remaining in the relationship.

However, the remainder of your post is interesting. I don't believe there is a major correlation between appearance and poor treatment in a relationship.

I find that the more beautiful a woman is, on average, the nicer she is. Her life is one of constant compliments, constant gifts, constant service to her. What would she have to complain about? This goes right back to the TRP idea that women's feelings drive their perception.

An unattractive woman lives in a state of constant struggle, frustration, and negative reinforcement. Of course she's going to be bitter and angry.

You will see in many cases that the same holds true for men. Hot guys generally live pretty good lives and don't have many reasons for being assholes. They are certainly self centered but rarely cruel or mean beyond average.

Selfish != mean

I can go out of my way to be selfish and still be very nice to people.

[deleted] · 2016-05-18T18:04:20+00:00

I'd say so. But really though, I seem to meet more people who are bad and ugly than ones who are good and ugly. I know it's a just world fallacy, but only as a general rule of thumb.

basilwhite · 2016-05-18T19:31:58+00:00

It's not their fault for choosing: it's their fault for staying (if, in fact, there's any fault at all.)

[deleted] · 2016-05-18T20:59:10+00:00

If the ugly guys are de facto much nicer than hot guys, then wouldn't ugly girls be much nicer than hot girls?

Wut? How is that related? Guys and girls are different. If something applies to guys it doesn't necessarily apply to girls.

Entropy-7 · 2016-05-18T21:04:04+00:00

No red flags, no blame. However, in this context there are no repeat offenders. If you get burned once then it is your own fault for opening yourself up to getting burned again.

[deleted] · 2016-05-19T00:28:08+00:00

That is a risk any person takes when they LTR someone with higher SMV. If you are afraid to lose him/ her, then you expose yourself to abuse.

beachbloke · 2016-05-19T14:08:42+00:00

Yes, its the man's fault for being in a relationship with an abusive woman. One abuse is where a relationship should end. If one abuse turns into an abusive relationship, it is definitely the victim's fault for sticking around expecting things to change.

sexydude01 · 2016-05-19T15:15:09+00:00

The problem with this argument is that average and below average looking women have an overinflated sense of their RMP value due to casual sex in their 20s.

Studies show that less attractive women have MORE casual sex rather than less attempting to get alpha males.

Therefore, there is no analogy between these women and beta males who are genuinely "nicer" due to their circumstances.

I have seen absolutely no correlation between female attitudes of entitlement and appearance.

Therefore, it is actually a better bet to get a younger, hotter female who has lower numbers of sexual partners.

jackandjill22 · 2016-05-19T18:40:15+00:00

Dude. Leave me alone. You want your post keep it. But keep bothering me & Ill report you to the mods.

Polite_Douchebag · 2016-05-20T00:11:07+00:00

There are handsome sweethearts out there and beautiful respectful women but they're hard to come by. It all comes down to personal preference. Hot or not.

FatTaker · 2016-05-22T17:49:19+00:00

If you make a mistake when choosing a partner once or twice, it could be bad luck. But if your dating history is littered with jerks/bitches, it could be you. Something in your personality and way of being attracts abusers, and you're attracted to traits abusers have, too. Falling for abusers over and over is not just bad luck.

I don't like to blame people for their poor judgement of character, though. Blame is a stupid word. They need to focus on how to fix the problem instead of blaming everyone, or beating themselves up.

jackandjill22 · 2016-05-18T19:51:40+00:00

Not an equal comparison.

Girls go after the top 10% of men. 6"2, Ryan Reynolds/Chris Hemsworth lookalikes with muscles, six pack abs and a $2 million net worth.

Guys aren't going after the top 10% of women (unless we're rich and successful). We're happy with a chick that's just slightly attractive. Just somewhat pretty. The female equivalent of ourselves. And even those chicks act like complete bitches. You have to date a 200lb hambeast to get a chick to act like she actually appreciates you. Which is sad. An average dude should have no problems getting an average girl in an ideal world. He's not ugly. He's not grossly overweight. He doesn't smell. So why is his "equal" some smelly ugly fat chick?

Reginleifer · 2016-05-18T15:53:08+00:00

If the ugly guys are de facto much nicer than hot guys, then wouldn't ugly girls be much nicer than hot girls?

If poor American families have Panasonic flatscreens, does that mean Brazilian poor families have them as well? Would I be able to make the same money working over there?

You're making an equivalence where there might not be one. Are men and women so interchangeable that their being ugly gives them the same experience? In my experience women are capable of getting some sort of sexual attention regardless of looks.

plenty of cheaters aren't good-looking

A lot of those men are "good looking" by ghetto standards either that or they exhibit some value (selling drugs or being violent)

I also believe many people marry someone thinking they are nice/a good person, but they later turn out not to be.

Personally speaking I only criticize women for their pattern of choices, not their choice, singular. If I notice that a woman is consistently making these choices, then her bitching irritates me cause it's more of a self-inflicted deal. And dudes criticize other men's sexual choices.

don't stick your dick in crazy.