[Question for Red Pill] Is AFBB done on purpose?

despisedlove2 · 2016-05-08T18:06:44+00:00

Pointless question. Whether a scorpion bites out of instinct or malice makes no difference to its victim.

ThirdEyeSqueegeed · 2016-05-08T15:10:24+00:00

I've read that all women have a back up man, in case the relationship with the man they really want doesn't work out.

Lonny_zone · 2016-05-08T21:13:33+00:00

Typically, women aren't taking Sheryl Sandberg's advice to

"date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier.”

That would be doing AFBB on purpose, if they were consciously operating with that in mind.

What happens is that girls follow their libido just as men do. They date the exciting and hot Alpha in their 20s, until they have been hurt so many times that they are sick of it, and they can see their looks going and know they have little time left to secure a husband.

This is why you will often hear women in their late 20s and early 30s say "I am sick of the games" and the "players" and men who "don't have their shit together (like most Alphas)" and they start to make safer choices, sacrificing hotness and dominance for stability.

648262 · 2016-05-08T15:31:17+00:00

I think people, both men and women, often have an internal conflict between their heart and their brain.

So when women chose to listen to their brain and marry someone who is a safe bet they often say to themselves "well... He's no Brad Pitt, but he'll provide the family a good upbringing and he'll be a good dad". This quickly becomes boring. If someone exciting comes along and invites them for some fun they might want to join in on that fun after years of boring concubine life.

Men have a similar, but opposite problem. They follow their hearts and try to make "a hoe a housewife", which we know by now can't be done.

The best solution is to find a partner that is both AFBB/housewife-hoe.

SexyMcSexington · 2016-05-08T20:22:03+00:00

Not at all. I don’t even think there is one alpha fucks, one beta bucks per woman. Instead it’s just gradient where too alpha means no relationship and too beta means a relationship without enough raw attraction. I think women often genuinely love the betas they marry, its just that the comfort of providership isn’t enough to sustain her through their trials of marriage.

alreadyredschool · 2016-05-08T15:34:40+00:00

I don't think that they plan to do this.

exit_sandman · 2016-05-08T15:53:14+00:00

I thought TRP gave women enough credit to assume that they at least believe that they will always be attracted to the man they marry, even if they are wrong and their attraction fades.

Actually, redpillers usually give them so much credit that they assume they're planning this low work-high yield strategy ("marrying -> divorcing -> get cash and prices" or "marrying -> get one kid -> having a poor sap working his ass off so you don't have to") on purpose.

Personally, I don't think that it's a cunning plan and more an unfortunate consequence of a poor match, though the existence of the "plan B guy" indicates otherwise for a significant number of women.

questioningwoman · 2016-05-08T18:12:55+00:00

I know a couple girls that I'm pretty sure do it on purpose.. One I've been friends with for several years at this point. She tells me about certain guys just simply giving her money when she needs help paying bills. I'll ask why she doesn't date them and she says "they don't excite me".

She's not even much of a catch, average looks, average in the sack, yet somehow she gets away with it

kick6 · 2016-05-09T21:23:00+00:00

Nowadays it's pretty conscious. Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, writes in her book

When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier.

Yea, this is pretty damning come from a modern day feminist idol.

Feeldariddim · 2016-05-08T17:21:14+00:00

isn't it even written in that Lean In book?

oilpainter777 · 2016-05-08T19:08:18+00:00

No it's not that black and white.

It works off a practical purpose, not a pre-meditated, planned out purpose. For example, a woman in her youth might have a fling with an amazingly attractive boxer. She literally gets wet just looking at him. A very intense lust. However, this man, doesn't want to commit to her, doesn't want a family, doesn't want to be the dad type, etc, or might not be financially stable etc.

So what happens is that the woman seeks out a more educated, stable, and higher earning man, who fits more into a family lifestyle. Now, the reason AFBB arises is simply because the real alpha types are rare in higher professions. This is because higher professions stress a lot of studying, school work, and introverted skills, and require obedience to higher figures.

A textbook example of AFBB is this software engineer's wife, whom was a former playmate that died in a bathtub after a cocaine overdose whom she just cheated with an old photographer friend.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2991889/Tech-entrepreneur-37-recalls-anger-former-Playmate-wife-dead-hot-tub-following-night-cocaine-drinking-lover.html

SpaceWhiskey · 2016-05-09T00:07:45+00:00

I'm sure this happens, just not as much as TRP seems to believe.

Pretty much every couple I'm friends with have a legitimate, loving relationship. I know one guy (not exactly a friend, we used to be co-workers and I still have him on Facebook) who told me that his wife changed after marriage and straight up told him that she put on a sweet front to get a kid out of him and wasn't really in love with him. He wasn't exactly a great person though, he was cheating on her and had some incredibly superficial and misogynistic views about women. Two nasty people who deserved each other, so far as I was concerned. Like attracts like.

[deleted] · 2016-05-09T00:44:44+00:00

Until I met my husband there was alway a back up plan B guy in mind. Although, I left my boyfriend for his friend (my husband)... so maybe I married my plan B, But he was a much better option then A.

Either way, I'm very happy now with my husband, My back up now if he were to leave me is to become a cat lady.

[deleted] · 2016-05-09T14:18:40+00:00

AFBB isn't done on purpose.

I think most women are fucking hot guys in their 20s, and kinda sorta hope to get one of them to commit, even though they know those guys aren't marriage material. A very, VERY few women here and there actually get commitment from lesser alphas or greater betas. Most women don't, and so they look further and further down the totem pole until they find a less attractive man from whom they can extract commitment.

I don't think that women are manipulating men they're really not attracted to at all into marriage. What's actually happening there is that the women halfheartedly tried years before to get commitment. But it really wasn't trying, it was more like "I'm open to it if the right hawt guy with lots of money and is really nice to me comes along". But that never happens of course. And then when time is running out and she can hear the bio-clock roaring like a freight train, she picks a guy she likes pretty well, and can stomach having sex with. He's OK, and he has a job, but he's no great shakes. She is willing to have sex with him, but she's not really all that hot for him or excited about him. She likes him a lot, even loves him as a really good friend. But the hard, visceral attraction is missing. She will have sex with him, but doesn't really want to, and that's where the problems come in.

That's how AFBB happens.

[deleted] · 2016-05-08T18:46:10+00:00

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questioningwoman · 2016-05-08T18:43:48+00:00

No it's that they don't keep track of things for a while then realize they're not getting any younger and have to snag someone ASAP before they're left forever single or infertile.

[deleted] · 2016-05-09T02:49:30+00:00

Maybe it depends on case to case. Maybe some women do it consciously and on purpose. Maybe some women just have that "I better play safe" instinct.

Whatever, they're only hurting themselves (and their partner). She will eventually get bored and unhappy, and the poor guy will be settled for and unhappy.

lady_baker · 2016-05-09T13:02:29+00:00

No, in most cases it isn't a conscious strategy. Sometimes we do intentionally choose a safe guy after getting really hurt, and it can cause issues later if we sacrifice too much on attraction. But women who view men in two tiers and marry one for $$ that they only tolerate is rare.

Title	[Question for Red Pill] Is AFBB done on purpose?
Author	DrunkGirl69
Upvotes	7
Comments	151
Date	May 8, 2016 3:04 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4iev0p/question_for_red_pill_is_afbb_done_on_purpose/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/question-for-red-pill-is-afbb-done-on-purpose.274766 https://theredarchive.com/post/274766